Killing Is My Business

by Michael Todd

  “I’m glad you guys are back,” Derek told them as they followed him into the office. “There has been a Level-Three Spirit called in by the operations contact of a local Vegas ghost-hunting team. She says the thing won’t leave whatever house it’s in. It’s wreaking some serious havoc, and is bordering on dangerous.”

  “All right.” Damian considered their options. “I’ll cleanse the house, and take Katie as my backup. Do you have the address?”

  “Yeah,” Derek said, picking up a piece of paper and handing it to the priest as he glanced at them. “Korbin and Calvin are deep in their meeting, so I haven’t been able to talk to them. Be careful out there. Remember, we are short a medic right now. You don’t want me suturing you up.”

  “We will be fine. A spirit afloat in a house is not quite as dangerous as a horde of demons trying to eat our skin,” Damian told him and headed out of the office. “We’ll keep our earpieces in just in case.”

  “Thanks.” Derek waved and nodded, looking at Katie as she turned to go.

  She nodded back and sighed, figuring there was no nap in the cards for her that day.

  Part of her didn’t mind; she had never dealt with the spirit realm. She was already carrying her normal weapons, and since Damian didn’t seem to be suiting up any further she figured she was good to go.

  The two of them walked back out to the SUV and climbed in. Damian peeked in the back and nodded before turning the car on and heading out of the garage.

  “Maybe you should tell me how I am supposed to handle a spirit,” Katie said. “I wonder what tea I should drink for exorcising them.”

  “The spirit probably just woke up, and I suggest rum,” he replied. “It could have been dead a few days, weeks, or even decades—we don’t know how the whole process happens. Sometimes they never descend to hell or wherever it is they go, and they linger here in what we think is another plane of existence. They come out when they are ready, and when they do they are usually pretty angry, but nowhere near as dangerous as demons—unless they possess someone and are particularly strong.”

  “Well, I hope that’s not the case,” Katie said. “What will we need to do to combat this spirit?”

  “Nothing too crazy.” Damian took a right on Flamingo. “I will do my priest thing: throw some holy water, read some passages from the bible, and cast them the hell out of Dodge. Usually it doesn’t take too long and the person with me gets pretty bored, but it’s a necessary thing. Left alone, they can hurt people—not all the scary stories out there are bullshit. I’ve seen some pretty fucked-up poltergeists in my day. I can still remember the first time I saw the whole process done. It was pretty awesome to watch, though now it’s just old hat.”

  “Glad it’s old hat to you,” Katie said. “I never even believed in ghosts until all this shit happened. I thought exorcism was just some bullshit from the church to scare us straight. And demons? Yeah, right. I didn’t think they existed, and now I get to fight demons and watch you get rid of spirits with a wave of your holy grail.” She looked around the cab of the SUV. “I swear I’m being punked. I’m just waiting to find the hidden cameras.”

  “I’m not sure what ‘punked’ is, but I promise there are no hidden cameras,” he said. “One thing I do know, though…no matter how easy it is to wave my ‘holy grail,’ as you call it, I never come without backup, and you are my backup today.”

  “Peachy.” Katie groaned.

  “The real question is whether you have your backup ready,” he said, glancing at her.

  “I have Smith and Wesson as my backup,” Katie replied, displaying her guns. “I don’t know if bullets will kill spirits, but I’m leaving that to you because I definitely know they will kill demons. They don’t work too bad on asshole humans either. I never go anywhere anymore without backup. With what I’ve seen, I’m pretty sure I’ll start carrying my guns to the bathroom every time I go now.”

  I just want to say one thing, Pandora said calmly, then got louder in Katie’s head. You better spell Smith and Wesson P-A-N-D-O-R-A!

  You know you are my ultimate backup, Katie said sweetly.

  You can’t bullshit the girl who came up with bullshit in the first place, Pandora said.

  Eww, Katie replied.

  Don’t be a smartass. You know what I mean, Pandora growled.

  You are right, you are more than backup. Katie sighed. Sometimes I feel like I am actually your backup.

  More like last-ditch effort. Pandora chuckled.

  Watch it, now, Katie said. I hold your power in me, not the other way around. If you like your happy little home, you’d better behave.

  Or what? She laughed, amused by the back and forth. You are going to have that priest try to pull me out? Puleese.

  Nah. Katie laughed. I am kind of used to you now, and you make me buy expensive things I would never have purchased on my own.

  Oooh, that reminds me, Pandora cooed. We are wearing the perfect bra for this!

  The house was old and dark, and reminded Katie of something from a horror movie. The shingles were dingy, and the paint was peeling inside and out.

  As they walked through the door Katie was more than a little freaked out, especially with Damian acting all exorcist-y. He was holding his cross out in front of him and clutching his bible in the other arm. There was a pungent smell pervading the area, something that she hadn’t encountered before. It smelled like demon—that rank old rotting flesh smell—but it also had eggs and just a hint of flowers.

  “Maria, are you here?” Damian called. “John, Tammy? Anyone?”

  “Who are they?” Katie whispered.

  “They are the team from Las Vegas Spook Hunters, the ones who called us out here,” Damian answered. “Their logo makes them look ridiculous—juvenile, even—but they are some pretty damn good ghost hunters. I’ve seen them face some of the strongest spirits I’ve ever encountered and live to tell about it. We partner with them: they find the ghosts, we take them down. The client pays them, the higher-ups pay us, and we don’t have to spend our time ghost-hunting. It’s a win-win most of the time.”

  “Most of the time?” Katie said, carefully stepping over some loose floorboards. She looked at the dark corners of the room.

  “Well, normally they are here,” he said. “They are supposed to fully brief me on the spirit, the history of the place, and what the signs and symptoms are. They have never just not showed up like this before, so it is a little strange—and slightly alarming. I’m not going to lie.”

  “I am starting to get that vibe,” Katie said, glancing around.

  “Well, this was unexpected,” Damian said a little louder, and held the kitchen door open.

  Katie nodded and was about to ask what hadn’t been expected when the front door creaked. She spun around and pointed her gun at it as it slammed shut on its own.

  She didn’t like the situation at all—not one bit. She could deal with snarling demons, but freaky horror shit was not okay at all.

  “Uh, was that door supposed to slam shut?” Katie called over her shoulder, keeping her eyes on the door. “Because it did, and I don’t think I am liking this spirit-hunting thing too much. This is the same way every other horror movie begins, and before I know it, the house is going to start possessing people and then someone is going to jump out of the closet with an axe to chop me into little pieces. Don’t be mistaken, I’m brave as shit, but this… Nope, this is not okay.”

  “Oh, I get it,” Damian said softly walking across creaking floorboards until his back was pressed against Katie’s. “And to answer your question, no, the door isn’t supposed to do that. But at the same time,” he nudged her with his elbow, “our ghost hunters aren’t supposed to be possessed, either.”

  Katie turned her head and looked at the ghost hunters walking out of the kitchen toward the two of them. Their eyes stared in all directions, and they had strange smirks on their faces. Their skin was pale and clammy, and she now knew exactly where the smell was coming from. Damian�
�s hand shook as he held the cross out in front of him with one hand, and he reached for his pistol with the other. Katie’s pistols were already out; there was no way she would have entered that spooky place without them. What she hadn’t expected was that she might actually need them.

  Katie sighed. “Well, so much for you just doing your priestly thing.”

  “I heard about the commune,” Eric said, looking at Korbin and Calvin. “It sounded like a mess; something one team should have never had to handle on its own.”

  “I agree,” Korbin said, looking down at his phone. “We shouldn’t have, but sometimes that is just how it goes. We did what we had to do, and as part of our team, you would too. I’m sorry. If you could excuse me one second, the base is calling in.”

  Korbin answered the phone, then looked at Calvin. Eric seemed to be interested in joining the team, not that recruits had a choice when they put their names in. However, the teams liked to put people not only where they were needed, but also where they would be happy. It needed to be a good fit for things to go smoothly, and Calvin could tell Eric was going to fit in really well.

  “Hey, boss,” Derek said.

  “Hey, Derek, what’s goin’ on?” Korbin answered.

  “I wanted to let you know that Katie and Damian came back, then rolled on a call for a house spirit from LVSH,” Derek explained. “Damian figured it was time she experienced one of those, and he didn’t want to go out without backup.”

  “Right,” Korbin said. “Did they say what kind of spirit?”

  “No,” Derek replied. “They were a bit vague this time, I figured they were damn tired like everyone else.”

  “Most likely,” Korbin said. “We are all worn out from everything that’s gone on lately. I’m sure it’ll be one of those ‘one and done’ for Damian like normal, but keep your ears out in case.”

  “Of course, boss,” Derek said. “Anything that you need me to do when they get back? They put their earpieces in, but I think Damian forgot to actually connect them again.”

  “He sucks at that.” Korbin sighed. “I’ll remind him when he gets back. As far as when they get back, I want you to debrief Katie. It’s her first run with spirits, so we want to get her take on it. It’s something we need to put more focus on in the coming days, especially with our team growing. That will allow us to do so, and I want to see if she has any insights on it. She might have some good thoughts about routine housecleanings.”

  “Sounds good, boss,” Derek said.

  “All right, call me with any other updates,” he said before hanging up the phone.

  “Those are the kinds of things that happen,” Korbin said, looking at the guys. “Day of leisure, come back to relax, and you get a ghost call. We don’t go out on calls, no matter what kind, by ourselves. The priest primarily handles the spirit calls, but he should always have someone with him.”

  “You guys have a girl on your team too,” Eric said. “How does that work out for you?”

  Calvin chuckled under his breath, raised his eyebrows, and looked at Korbin. Korbin didn’t flinch, though. He always kept his hard-ass composure with the new guys. Eric didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would be thrown off by his stare, either. Calvin found the whole situation amusing to watch.

  “Okay, let me explain women in the infected, and why at least one is needed on any team,” Korbin said, clearing his throat. “Our teams, not surprisingly, are mainly men. Now, this is for two reasons: more men are targeted by demons, and also men tend to be more aggressive. A woman or two on the team balances that aggression with just the right amount of empathy. Now, the challenge is, some women are effectively men—emotionally, anyway. At the same time, probably some men could act in place of the women if the other men could deal with it—which they often can’t.”

  Calvin chuckled and looked up at the guys. He wasn’t sure if they could handle that situation.

  He didn’t give a shit as long as they were loyal, strong, did their jobs, and played well together.

  “Death at a moment’s notice isn’t the time for fixing stupid emotional shit,” Calvin continued. “Personally I’m happy to have someone on my team who handles it. I have heard, though, that Terry in DC has a gay guy as their empathy anchor, so I have to believe it works.”

  “Either way,” Korbin replied. “Gay, straight, man, woman, or weird-ass alien, we need empathy on the team, and we on Korbin’s Killers are lucky enough to have an anchor who can bring the pain to the enemy at the same time.

  4

  “I thought this was a spirit call,” Katie said, pointing her gun all around as her head pivoted left and right.

  Whispers and giggles came from all directions and bounced off the walls.

  It felt like there were a hundred people inside the building, but they couldn’t see where anything was coming from. Katie felt like she was in one of those elaborate haunted houses during Halloween, only this haunted house could actually fucking kill you.

  She understood at that point what the spirits’ plays were. They were capable of possessing people—that was number one—but after that they used a series of parlor tricks to scare the living shit out of you.

  Luckily for her partner Katie didn’t scare very easily, nor did she give into punk-ass bullies like the spirit in that house.

  “What I’m thinking happened is,” Damian explained as the two of them backed through the house, “the ghost hunters are possessed by low-level flunkies, but they have been bamboozled by a smarter demon. This gives them a little bit of power, but I’m not sure that will make much of a difference.”

  As soon as the words had left Damian’s mouth, the house did something that houses really weren’t supposed to do: it started to chuckle. It was a deep laugh at first, but quickly lightened until children’s laughter echoed around the walls. Katie stopped, breathing heavily, and shook her head.

  “Dammit, I did not sign up for this crazy shit,” Katie said. “What’s next, clowns? Fucking clowns? Red Rum? Men in masks with chainsaws?” She peeked into a doorway. “The Kool Aid man?”

  “Did you actually think those writers came up with all that stuff on their own?” Damian shouted over the laughter. “Except the Kool Aid man. I loved him as a kid.”

  “All right,” Katie said. “But I’m telling you now, if a damn kid with a butcher knife comes out I’m leaving you. You are on your own at that point.”

  “What about gremlins, goblins, and things of that nature?” Damian asked.

  “If it’s small I can handle it, except children—they are creepy as fuck,” Katie said. “Their little beady eyes and shrill voices.” She shook her head. “Hate those movies.”

  “Remind me not to take you to a preschool.” Damian chuckled. “I might have to restrain you.”

  “I’m dead serious.” Katie hit him with her elbow. “Don’t do me like that.”

  “Well, that’s interesting,” Damian said, looking up.

  “What?” Katie followed his eyes.

  Red pools began to saturate the peeling painted ceilings.

  Katie’s eyes grew wider as the blood moved to the walls and began to drip down like paint. She backed up away from the peeling wallpaper as droplets of blood bubbled to the surface and ran down to form puddles on the floor. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing; this was absolutely insane.

  “Well, that definitely tears it,” Damian said, slipping his cross and chain back over his neck and pulling out another gun.

  “Please tell me I am hallucinating,” Katie begged him, reaching out to touch the blood.

  She already had both her guns out, but Katie found herself wishing that she had an extra hand to pull out a knife too.

  Physical entities had physical limitations. You knew if your back was to a wall they weren’t going to come up behind you, but with this, the rules were completely different.

  In fact, Katie started to wonder if there actually were any rules or was she just in there freewheeling it, hoping her instincts wer
e on point?

  At least she wasn’t alone, but given the look of concern and shock on Damian’s face, having him didn’t provide extra comfort. The only good thing was, he had a better understanding than she did of what they were facing.

  “Have you been in this situation before?” Katie said, looking from side to side.

  “This particular one?” Damian shook his head. “No, not exactly. I have to say, though, everything is textbook so far…just not the textbook I thought I would be teaching you from today. But hey…learning comes from being pulled into the situation, right?”

  “I guess,” Katie said. “Though I am dead serious when I tell you I would have gladly taken a video tutorial on this one, Damian. I am pretty sure you didn’t have to submerge me. The textbook case would have terrified me out of my mind.”

  He peeked around a corner. “But then you wouldn’t get the experience.”

  “I’m okay with that,” she said, nodding quickly. “Perfectly and completely okay with that. In fact, I’m more than fine with textbooks for the next however-long you will give them to me.”

  “I personally think this is pretty exciting,” Damian said. “I mean, we are having our first complete third-level physical manifestation together.”

  “Is that some weird bonding ritual between Damned?” Katie asked. “Because if it is, we need to talk about your implementation.”

  “Look at it this way,” Damian said, shoving Katie back hard. “You won’t be able to say that I take you on boring dates.”

  “Dates?” Katie said, looking up as a demon jumped from the second-story railing and landed on the floor in front of her. Her voice went up several notes as she jumped back and brought her guns up to point at the demon’s chest. “I didn’t think priests dated!”

  Katie tilted her head to the side and stared at the demon’s face, which wasn’t the normal one. It was swollen and angry, and the demon smiled at Katie as if taunting her.