Hex upon Me

by Beth Mikell

  The meet and greet closed and he left with a stiff good-bye. Fine, whatever, she could deal. Savannah wanted to wish him back and have him stay just a little longer, but she knew they both had things in the past they were hurting from and they both needed some distance. Part of her wanted to know how deep Hex was hurting, but he still didn’t trust her enough—said the woman who refused to expand on her own past.

  She sighed…she loved him enough to wait…and wait she would. But, honestly, she hated waiting for anything.

  Chapter Eleven

  Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not yet understood. ~ Henry Miller

  By mid-morning Savannah used her time wisely, on the phone with the doctor’s office, Tony, Angelo and Sean, not to mention several other locations in need of repairs and in need of advisement, though some people needed a psyche evaluation on some of their construction questions. She couldn’t think about that. Her broken ankle could not have happened at a worse time and it was aching far more than the Tylenol was giving relief. A tension headache formed between her eyes and she just wanted to…do something. She was cooped up in Hex’s room, a basic prisoner to appease his distrust and it sucked major rocks.

  How could she reach him? Show him she wasn’t a barracuda. But, wasn’t she? In the past, she ate men for sexual breakfast, and then spit them out before they even knew what hit them. Callous maybe, but again, so what? It wasn’t like she craved the hassle of relationships one iota. She never cared to depend on another soul, except herself…until now.

  The turn of events in her life, though, altered her perspective. She wasn’t immune to Hex’s brand of whatever…sex? Wit? Charm? Weeks after meeting him…she only dreamt of him and in Savannah language that amounted to a whole lot of trouble bundled up in a pretty bow called love. And it wasn’t her comfort zone. In fact, it was damn shitty. She ached to walk away and close the door on the present situation, but she couldn’t.

  Their baby prevented her--and the fact that her biker god damn near shook her world to bliss just by entering the room. She hadn’t given the kid a whole lot of thought until now. True she had been stunned upon learning of its existence, but now…her mind fretted out the idea into reality.

  Another life.

  Maybe the timing was off, yet she wasn’t pissed as she would have been had the father been anyone else but Hex. Just imaging another little human being with azure eyes and dark hair made the corners of her mouth lift and her headache recede to the background. And she hadn’t spurned the idea of children completely, she did love her niece to pieces…she could only wonder at the moment she would hold her own son or daughter within her arms. Just the idea was humbling, softening her jadedness to sweetness.

  Maybe this was what she had been missing all her life?

  She had been running since the time she was eighteen. ‘Do this Savannah…do that Savannah’. As any child, she lost part of her soul the day her parents died, but she had to be the strong one. But she failed. She failed her sister in every way a sister could fail.

  Stop it, she urged herself. She couldn’t think about that now. Bury it…bury it deep. “Hey, can I talk to you a sec?”

  Savannah looked up to find Jagger standing in the doorway. An expression of guilt edged his lips. “Sure, come on in.” She replaced the cordless handset back into its cradle.

  He came midway, but stopped. “I came to apologize for being a dumbass.” Clueless, she blinked, “Excuse me? What are you talking about?”

  Jagger blushed, at least three shades of red, if not five. “Yesterday, I made an off handed comment about you being pregnant. I didn’t know…” he trailed off, choking on his stupidity, completely embarrassed.

  Savannah waved him off, “Oh that. Forget it. I just found out myself and was a bit shell shocked on top of gracefully breaking my ankle. We’re good.”

  He still stood unmoving, eyeing her strangely, “I couldn’t help but overhear your last phone call, you mentioned needing to find a pad of paper and pen.” He pulled both from behind his back. “Thought I’d use it as a peace offering.”

  She smiled warmly at his thoughtfulness, “We weren’t at war, ya know, but thank you, Jagger. I needed them.”

  He finally smiled, his face revealing a miniature version of Hex in many ways. Jagger crossed over the remaining distance, laid the items on the bed, and rocked on his heels. “So…you and Hex?”

  Savannah could feel his nervousness and wanted to fix that, so she nodded. “Yes. Is that weird for you?”

  His eyes lit up, “Oh god no! I’d say it’s about time!”

  “Why do you say that?”

  Jagger sighed a little, shoving a hand through his dark hair, “Hex is…Hex. A few steps above a rock and three quarters jackass—respectively of course. My only brother, yeah, but a complete loser—I mean women challenged. I am happy he'd found someone that can put up with him…and I’ll finally be an uncle. That’s even more awesome!”

  Yeah, she totally agreed with Jagger on the jackass assessment of Hex and a bubble of laughter escaped.

  “Oh my…come sit. I can tell you and me are going to be great friends.”

  He hesitated a moment, “Before I make myself a complete nuisance—which I will by the way…do you play video games?”

  “Battlefield 3?”

  His eyebrows jiggled up and down in unrestrained excitement and then he looked heavenward, “There is a God…”

  ~~~

  Hex came home, dragging ass--mental exhaustion from the meeting from hell. Not that business was slumping, but rather his mind wasn’t in the game—at all. He really wanted to contemplate the ins and outs of the last day with clarity, but found himself knee deep in contracts and decisions he had to make instead. Plus, he now had to make an unscheduled trip to California for one of MK Steel's distribution center’s fucked-up-issues. Firing may be required and only he could make that assessment upon arriving there. Talk about worst timing ever.

  He knew he screwed up the morning by turning cold towards Savannah, but any thought of Jessica propelled him likewise. It had taken him a year before he could even think of bedding a woman, and two years to contemplate a relationship. Not that he was necessarily a willing participant in the current situation he now found himself in, but he couldn’t let his child suffer again. Not now, not ever again. The more he thought of Savannah, deep down he knew how different she was compared to Jessica.

  Climbing the stairs, he headed towards his bedroom, empty. Fear settled over him by chilling degrees. Where was she? Had she left after all? Was he mistaken and as soon as his back was turned she fled?

  But, then he heard her laughter, his body tightened.

  He drew closer to Jagger’s room…

  “Stuff that like a pig in blanket.” Savannah handled the game controller like a pro, shooting her target with proficiency.

  “Hey, hold still, S. I’m almost done," Jagger breathed out her new nickname 'S' as he placed the final touches of his graphic masterpiece on her cast.

  She didn’t bother looking his way, “Oopsie! Sorry Jay. Good news is I finished the level and smoked all my targets.”

  Jagger chuckled, “Great, I’ve released a war monster. Who knew?”

  Over the course of several hours together, Jagger admitted his love of graphic art and asked to paint a mini mural on Savannah’s cast. She liked that idea rather than a bunch of weird signatures, so while she played online games through his Xbox, he painted, but he wouldn’t allow her to see the finished product—trying to keep it a surprise.

  “Okay, all done,” Jagger said with a beaming smile. “What do you think?”

  She looked down and her breath caught in her throat. Hex. He looked magnificent, his face illuminated against a graffiti wall with the image of a motorcycle etched in the background. Biker god. It wasn’t the bike that made her catch her breath, but the startling depth of his blue eyes, though the painting was upside down, Hex’s eyes seemed to follow her, peering into her soul.
The image was so life like.

  “It’s amazing, Jay. You have an impressive gift.”

  He preened inside, but shrugged it off. “Nah, it’s just a hobby. I’m a business major remember.” A biting remorse laced his words.

  She heard the sting, but wisely didn’t comment, finding it best not to begin ripping into other people’s lives her first day meeting them, though he did have a talent being wasted. “Thank you all the same. It’s very nice. I love it.”

  Jagger made an ‘uh-huh’ sound and grabbed the game controller out of her hand. “So, where are you? Jeez, level 9? I really did unleash an angel of death.”

  Savannah primped under her diva umbrella, and then looked down at her lunch tray, “Hey, where’s my mango?”

  “I scarfed it down about 3 levels ago. Ya snooze, ya lose, baby!” “Great, you’re a gremlin too.” She folded her arms in mock irritation.

  He turned to flash a smile, “Just don’t feed me after midnight.”

  “What’s up?”

  Both Savannah and Jagger turned to find a very tired and tense Hex standing in the doorway, his tie hanging loose around his neck. Even his hair showed evidence of being plowed through a million times.

  Jagger jumped up throwing the game controller down in a rush, his face turning…a sickly shade of green. “Hex! God, man, you scared me.”

  “That seems easy to do lately. At least I’m not a hulky Mexican inmate named Raul,” Hex said dryly to his brother, his blue eyes rolling over Savannah laid out on his brother’s bed with her leg propped up. She looked…lovely. Savannah’s face was flush with her recent game excitement—makeup free, her hair twisted up in a messy knot…his breath caught and at that moment, her lips beckoned him for a kiss. The tiredness he felt upon arriving fell off him in a blast wave of heat. He wanted nothing more than to wrap himself up inside her arms and lay his tiredness at her feet. The ache was so intense he shook.

  “Earth to Hex, man?” Jagger called, snapping his fingers for emphasis.

  Damn! He spaced out—in front of an audience. Another smooth moment—such finesse. “Yeah?” He turned his gazed back to his brother.

  “Are you okay?”

  Ignoring his brother’s question, Hex’s eyes changed into a glare. “Don’t you have someplace to be?” Jagger rolled his eyes, “I’m going,” he grumbled, “It’s not like I’d forget I have class or anything.” He grabbed his bag and jacket—only to stop and look back towards Savannah. “Thanks for the game, S. See ya later.” He exited on a huffy cloud.

  “You too. Bye, Jay,” she called out.

  Which left Savannah alone with Hex and she hadn’t said a word to him, though she wanted too. All the words she thought of died on her lips the moment Hex appeared in the doorway. The intensity of his gaze upon her prohibited her from any sound, movement or breath…he truly was magnificent.

  “How are you, princess?”

  At his voice…she was undone.

  Her stomach flipped inside, spreading heat throughout her body. Part of her felt to old to feel her heart trip, skip and burn at his entrance, but no one had ever breached her wall…Hex had…and so much more. “I’m good. Your brother took it upon himself to provide entertainment.”

  The corner of Hex’s mouth lifted, “At least it was legal and not the kind requiring bail money.”

  She chuckled and moved to get off the bed, reaching for her crutches, which she requested Jagger haul upstairs.

  Hex moved suddenly, afraid she may fall. “Let me carry you.”

  Savannah ignored him, her independence still hers by right, “No, I got it,” she said, maneuvering the crutches with ease and walking two steps forward, flashing a smile. “See? I may not be able to walk and chew gum, but I can manage this, no prob.”

  His hand brushed over her shoulder, still uncertain—he needed a reason to touch her, “Just promise me you will not attempt the stairs.”

  Her skin sprang to life, jolting at his touch. “I promise, tough guy.” Tossing a cheeky wink and moving forward out of the room. “How are you?” Sweet…she stumbled and Hex caught her.

  “Dammit Savannah! You’re not ready.”

  “Then don’t stand so close to me!” she returned, “I can’t think—and—and you unnerve me.”

  Desire slammed hard and his expression softened, “And would that be so terrible princess?” He moved closer, wrapping his arm around her waist. He pulled her up against his body taking all her weight while the crutches hit the floor in a resounding crash. Just as he imagined, the weariness fell off his body in an instant rush…his body ready in sensual tension just waiting to be unleashed.

  She held onto his shoulders, his warmth seeping into her body quickly—spreading out through every cell making her tingle. “Honestly? No.”

  He smiled, the action transforming the weary lines around his mouth, “Care to elaborate?”

  Damn, the man pulled at every need she had, one hand snaked up and sank into his hair, “Shut up,” she whispered, urging him closer, brushing her lips across his.

  Inside a deep groan, Hex closed the distance, feeding off her very soft, succulent lips he wanted the moment he laid eyes on her. Her silky tongue thread over his so rich and tangy—a sweet mix of sultry and heat until he was sure he forgot even his own name.

  He pulled back just a barest fraction, nibbling softly at her lush sweetness, “I like the way you think, princess.”

  Before she could reply, the phone rang and Hex sighed, pulling her up in his arms to carry her through to his bedroom. He answered the phone, but handed it to her. “It’s for you.”

  She didn’t want to be thankful for the interruption, but she was. Their physical relationship was par for rocking hotness, but their emotional side took a dive south. They needed time, she knew…but how much would it really take? Savannah pushed it aside and answered her call.

  After twenty minutes speaking to the interior decorator, Tony and Angelo, Savannah replaced the handset back on the base and watched Hex as he strolled into the room with a beer in hand. He hadn’t changed out of his suit, his weariness returned around the narrowness of his eyes and firm set of lips. He came to sit on the bed and he leaned back on the footboard facing her, beer dangling from two fingers.

  His eyes fell on her cast, he stilled.

  He knew Jagger’s work, but he would never have believed it would be something Savannah would care to have. Surprise lit inside his dank soul and his blue eyes met hers. He wanted so much to let go of his reservations and grasp on to happiness with her…yet…he held back. He couldn’t let go of the past. Damn Jessica…damn her to hell.

  She followed the line of his gaze and heat crept up her cheeks, “Jagger has quite a gift. He wouldn’t let me see what he painted, but I think it’s pretty accurate,” she gushed, feeling a whopping load of embarrassment.

  His expression remained remote as he gazed at her—enjoying her flushed cheeks, “How do you figure that, princess?”

  Savannah lifted one shoulder in a shrug, “See the bike? It’s so you. The morning after our…first night, I pegged you for a biker,” she said with a smile. “Seems there was more truth in that than I realized.”

  He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Shall I pull out my leather pants to make it more real?”

  Her breath faltered—picturing him in leather…sounded good to her, but Hex didn’t seem to be in the mood for banter. The more she was around him, the more she fretted out his prevailing psychological state of mind…right now he seemed to distant for verbal play and her smile faded.

  “I need to ask you something.” And continued before he could reply, “We haven’t discussed the pink elephant in the room and I think we should. And I mean the baby.”

  He swallowed…hard. “I want too.” But he didn’t. Truth wasn’t easy to share and certainly too early for him to part with.

  “I sense a ‘but’ in there somewhere. I know this isn’t easy, Hex. I get that. We barely know each other and now we are expectan
t parents, but we have to do the right thing for our child. I don’t think sweeping the issue aside will make it more palatable.”

  Always direct and frank…something he truly loved about her. “You’re right. I’m sorry if I have been an ass about this. I…just need a little bit of time to adjust.”

  She could understand that…really she could. She nodded, “So, should I ask my sister to take me to my first doctor’s appointment next week?”

  Hex blanched…memories of his last experience choked him with remorse and pain. Jessica’s face swam through the haze of his mind, berating him with mental trauma. “When is it?” he croaked.

  “Next Tuesday.”

  “I have to leave tonight for California on business, but I’ll be back by then. I’ll take you,” he murmured with lame casualness. He didn’t say more. Fuck…he just couldn’t and he knew he was being an ass. Instead, he took a shower, and then proceeded to pack for his trip.

  She was pleased he would take her despite his strange reaction, but she wasn't happy he was leaving. How were they to connect on another level if he left? And it wasn’t like she was physically able to go with him since she was basically hobbled and on bed rest. Damn stilettos!

  Awkward silence aside, Savannah wanted to force the issue of their child, his fears, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t like she wasn’t running from her own fears too. The whole relationship and commitment thing truly freaked her out more than anything. Not that she was normally a patient woman…okay never…but she was willing and for her that meant a first step. Could Hex do the same? God she hoped so.

  With his bag packed, he came to sit beside her on the bed, grasping one of her hands between both of his. Hex stared down into her inky eyes, his heart imploding. “I know we have much to work through and our child is priority one--believe me on this, but I…can’t speak of the past yet.” He looked away in frustration. “Dammit, that’s not what I meant. Shit, I am saying this all wrong.”

  Savannah lifted a hand to his face and turned him to look at her, “I understand. Honestly, that’s why I’m here. I agreed to come here…to live in your house because it’s obvious to me you need that. I also know trust doesn’t come easily, but you have to take a step, however small, towards me. I am scared, nervous and afraid of having a child, but I would never do anything to hurt one intentionally. This is our baby, Hexon…no matter what our future is together, we are now going to parents and I am committed to that. Go do what you need to do. I’ll be waiting for you.”