Uncertain Destiny

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘Don’t worry, Tony,’ Justin drawled. ‘The only person Caroline will be “blubbering” all over in future is me.’ He turned to her, complete awareness of the real situation in his gaze, although he said nothing. ‘I’ve come to take you out to lunch,’ he told her softly.

  Her eyes widened, and then she gave a groan of disappointment as she looked down at her fob watch. ‘I’ve got to be back on duty in a few minutes,’ she said regretfully.

  ‘Hm,’ he murmured, looking pointedly at the other man. ‘If you’ll excuse us…’

  Tony grinned. ‘You know, you dismiss a man even better then my old tutor used to—and he was an expert!’

  ‘Thank you.’ Justin gave an acknowledging smile.

  Tony winked at Caroline before leaving, his tuneless whistle echoing up the corridor seconds later.

  ‘You know,’ Justin spoke softly, ‘in a way I regret what I did to him two months ago.’

  Caroline frowned; he regretted marrying her?

  ‘No,’ he mocked her unspoken question. ‘I don’t regret marrying you, only that I had to hurt Tony to do it. But I think he and your sister are going to make it, don’t you?’ he prompted lightly.

  She didn’t trust his calmly pleasant mood, was sure he must really be angry at finding her and Tony in such a compromising situation; he had to be biding his time before making his displeasure felt.

  ‘I think so,’ she answered his question, sure from the amount of times Sonia entered Tony’s conversation that he did really care for her sister. ‘Justin, just now really wasn’t what it seemed.’ She decided that attack was the best form of defence.

  ‘On reflection,’ he drawled slowly, ‘it seemed like an old friend giving comfort because you were upset. Wasn’t that what it was?’

  ‘Yes,’ she challenged, picking up her crumpled cap from the small coffee-table beside the chair she and Tony had been sitting in, staring down at it as she waited for Justin’s icy anger to wash over her.

  ‘And I was the reason you were upset,’ he said softly.

  Her head went back, her eyes wide as she stared at him. ‘Yes,’ she confirmed tremulously.

  He drew in a ragged breath. ‘I’m sorry, I’ve been—preoccupied the last few days,’ his voice was gruff.

  He was as aware as she that that preoccupation included not making love to her, not even touching her unless it was accidentally.

  Justin sighed at her lack of response. ‘I’ve had—something on my mind. Will you let me make it up to you?’ he urged gently.

  Caroline frowned. How could he possibly make up to her the fact that he talked of another woman in his sleep, that he spoke of her with love?

  And yet this man, his gaze soft, his mouth curved into a gentle smile, wasn’t the same man who had so cold-bloodedly asked her to marry him. That man had been cold himself, his emotions firmly held in check, only relaxing his rigid control when they were in bed together. The Justin standing in front of her now was the same man she loved when he made love to her, except they weren’t in bed. She didn’t know what it meant, after the last three days she was afraid to even hope, but surely it had to mean something?

  She swallowed hard. ‘How?’

  His gaze warmed even more. ‘By first of all taking you out to lunch—’

  ‘I told you,’ she groaned. ‘I have to be back on duty in a few minutes.’ She shook her head.

  ‘And if you recall I said “hm”,’ he teased. ‘Are you going to be angry if I tell you that I haven’t just arranged for you to take the rest of the day off but the next eight days as well, that as you couldn’t seem to make your mind up about a honeymoon I’ve made it up for you?’ He eyed her questioningly.

  Angry because she didn’t have to come to work for a week and try to put a brave face on things? Angry that she was going to be alone with Justin for that time and possibly straighten out the tension between them? Angry that he had cared enough to behave so arrogantly?

  ‘Caroline?’ he prompted with a pained wince.

  ‘Ordinarily I would be very angry at your arrogance,’ she told him abruptly. ‘Ordinarily I might even have told you what you could do with it. But then,’ she added lightly, ‘pregnant women aren’t “ordinary"! When do we leave? And where are we going?’

  His expression had changed only slightly as she mentioned the baby she carried, and he tried to mask even that, only Caroline’s extreme sensitivity on the subject making it obvious to her.

  ‘We leave as soon as you’ve been home to change,’ he said briskly. ‘Mrs Avery is even now doing your packing for you. As to where we’re going, that’s to be a surprise, but I will tell you, just so that you aren’t disappointed, that you aren’t going to need your passport.’

  ‘That’s good.’ Her eyes glowed with laughter. ‘Because I don’t have one!’

  ‘You don’t?’ Justin laughed in disbelief. ‘Then thank God I didn’t whisk you off to the Bahamas as I first intended. I only decided against it because seven days isn’t long enough to get over the jet-lag and start enjoying yourself. We’ll have to do something about getting you a passport, Caroline,’ he told her as they left the lounge on their way out of the hospital. ‘Who knows what I might arrange for Christmas!’

  The woman called Penny still stood between them, perhaps she always would, but Caroline couldn’t resist this Justin, a light-hearted, indulgently teasing Justin—and perhaps she didn’t want to!

  She felt as excited as a child as Justin put their luggage in the boot of the car. But they hadn’t been driving for more than half an hour when Justin turned into a small car park.

  ‘I never did give you lunch,’ he reminded her ruefully as she looked at him enquiringly.

  It was a delightful country inn, authentic by the look of the low beamed ceiling; Caroline chuckled as Justin had to bend his head not to crash into the beams.

  They had never done any of the things other newly married couples had, no drives out into the country, no quiet lunches together in quiet inns like this one, no walking along a beach hand in hand—She brought herself to an abrupt halt on the last image; she just couldn’t imagine Justin on a beach, getting his trousers damp and sand in his shoes! But then she hadn’t married any ordinary man, and she had known that when she fell in love with him.

  And she didn’t feel that Penny was with them now. It was as if Justin had left his thoughts of the other woman behind in London, that the woman no longer intruded on their relationship. Oh, God, she hoped so!

  They dined on typical bar fare, indulging Caroline’s sweet tooth afterwards with a huge bowl of trifle.

  She gave a sigh of satisfaction as they emerged out into the sunshine. ‘That was wonderful!’ A shadow clouded her eyes. ‘Er—have you been there before?’ She couldn’t bear the thought of being with him in the same places Penny had.

  ‘No.’ He turned on the ignition. ‘Just a lucky guess.’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ she beamed at him, leaning back against the head-rest. ‘I think I could fall asleep now.’ She laughed.

  ‘Then why don’t you?’ Justin tuned the radio into a station playing softly romantic music. ‘We still have quite a way to go.’

  She didn’t mean to fall asleep at all, meant to enjoy every moment of being with this man who was making her fall more and more in love with him by the minute, but three virtually sleepless nights, the warmth of the day, and the soft music all resulted in her being asleep within minutes of their resuming their journey.

  She only woke up when Justin brought the car to a halt. Sitting up to look dazedly about her, she saw that they were parked in front of an old manor house that was approached by a long gravel drive that wound through picturesque gardens, the house itself old and beautifully maintained, the whole place having an unreal appearance about it.

  She turned curiously to Justin as he sat watching her reaction.

  ‘It is a hotel,’ he assured her, turning to smile at the doorman as he opened the car door. ‘We’ll be there in a moment,’ he in
structed distantly. ‘If you could see that our luggage is taken to our room. Mr and Mrs de Wolfe,’ he supplied as he handed the keys to the car boot to the other man.

  ‘But where are we?’ Caroline demanded excitedly as she looked at the beauty around her, the immaculate gardens that seemed to go on for ever, the mellow grace of the manor house.

  ‘Devon,’ Justin supplied indulgently, enjoying her pleasure in their surroundings. ‘This place probably once belonged to a member of the aristocracy who fell on hard times. Whatever the reason, it’s now a hotel.’

  ‘It’s lovely.’ She stepped out of the car as he held her door open for her.

  ‘So are you.’ His gaze darkened as he looked down at her. ‘Are you feeling rested now?’ he prompted in a husky voice.

  ‘After all that sleep, I should hope so!’ she dismissed ruefully.

  ‘Good,’ he murmured as he clasped her elbow, and they walked up the steps together. ‘Because when I requested our suite here I intended it should be a honeymoon in the full sense of the word.’

  When Caroline saw the four-poster bed that took up most of their bedroom, she knew exactly what he ‘intended’!

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  ‘I’M SURE the waiter thought we were newlyweds,’ Caroline chuckled as the two of them entered their suite later that evening. ‘He started to offer me confetti instead of dessert!’

  Justin smiled, darkly handsome in his tailored evening suit. ‘We are newlyweds; two months doesn’t exactly make us a staid married couple.’

  Caroline laughed happily, feeling more light-hearted tonight than she ever had before. ‘I don’t think coming up to bed at nine-thirty dented the impression!’

  Justin put the keys to their suite on the low drinks cabinet. ‘I only got through until that time because you insisted on having coffee,’ he drawled, throwing off his jacket, and loosening his bow-tie.

  She leant into his body as she unfastened the top button of his shirt for him. ‘When you made the booking here did you check that they do room-service?’ she murmured throatily. ‘Because I have the distinct impression that Devon is going to be wasted on us!’

  ‘I checked.’ He curved her tightly against him, making her aware of every hard muscle in his body. ‘It’s a twenty-four hour service, just in case we lose track of time,’ he murmured before feasting on her mouth.

  Three days without his kisses and caresses made Caroline’s response all the more fiery, her fingers clenched in his hair as she more than returned his passion.

  ‘Oh, Justin, I’ve missed you,’ she groaned as his lips moved feveredly down her throat.

  ‘I’m sorry, darling. So sorry. I never meant—’

  ‘Just love me, Justin,’ she urged with feeling. ‘Just love me as if you’ll never let me go.’

  He became suddenly tense, raising his head to look at her. ‘I never will let you go, Caro,’ he ground out fiercely. ‘Never!’

  She could see the savage pride of possession in his gaze, knew that he meant every word. Penny was losing and she was winning! Maybe that was why the other woman had been on his mind so much lately; his subconscious had already been saying goodbye to that other love, allowing Caroline into his heart instead. Oh, he still hadn’t said the words, and perhaps he never would, but he was different with her now, and it could only be because he had come to care for her in spite of himself. What had started out as a depressing day now seemed full of possibilities.

  ‘Then love me, Justin,’ she encouraged with a slight sob in her voice. ‘Love me!’

  Even his lovemaking was different tonight, just as fiercely intense, more so after the last three nights of loneliness, but tonight he was intent on pleasing her as never before, raising her again and again to the heights only to deny her release at the last possible moment.

  Caroline felt as if she were going insane as he once again denied her, moving restlessly against him, finally unable to bear his slow, tormenting caresses any longer, becoming the aggressor as she pushed him down beneath her, the one to do the possessing, controlling their passion, and Justin, until they both reached a shuddering release.

  She lay exhausted against his chest, their bodies clinging together damply, their breathing moving in ragged harmony.

  ‘I always wondered what it must feel like to be ravaged by a woman,’ Justin murmured lazily into the silence.

  Cheeks warm with embarrassment, Caroline lifted her head to look at him, reassured by the sated satisfaction in his face. ‘And?’ she teased throatily.

  ‘And—’ he stretched like a contented kitten, almost dislodging Caroline from her more than comfortable position above him ‘—I think I might grow to like it.’ He grinned up at her.

  Her face burnt from the deliberate provocation of his remark. ‘Justin de Wolfe, you are—’

  ‘Uh-uh, I know you aren’t really angry with me,’ he said languidly. ‘What was it Tony said about your sister? When she’s really angry she launches into his full name!’

  ‘Justin David James Charles de Wolfe is too much of a mouthful for anyone—let alone when I’m feeling so very tired.’ She watched him beneath lowered lashes.

  His brows rose in disappointment. ‘Not too tired, I hope; this is supposed to be the first night of our honeymoon.’

  ‘Oh, I think I might manage to find a little more strength from somewhere,’ she teased him. ‘Of course, if you’re going to let me do all the work again…’

  ‘My darling Caro—’ he rolled over so that she lay beneath him ‘—this time you won’t have to do anything but just lie there and—’

  ‘Justin David James Charles de Wolfe!’ She frowned warningly, rewarded by his throaty chuckle. ‘Have you ever known me to “just lie there"?’

  ‘No,’ he said with satisfaction. ‘It isn’t in that passionate nature of yours. But I do think we should at least try the bed out once while we’re here, don’t you?’ he added derisively.

  For the first time she realised that, as on that first night together, they had made it no further than the carpeted floor, this time in the beautifully decorated and furnished lounge to their suite.

  She smiled up at Justin. ‘I think everyone should make love in a four-poster bed at least once in their lives.’

  Justin looked around the room appreciatively. ‘I suppose there are endless possibilities for the rest of our stay here.’ He stood up, lifting her up easily into his arms. ‘But right now the experience of a lifetime awaits us!’

  Devon definitely was wasted on them this time around; they rarely left their suite, and when they did it was only to walk on the beach they discovered on walking down a cliff-path at the back of the hotel. To Caroline’s surprise Justin enjoyed nothing better than taking off his shoes and socks, rolling up his trousers, and paddling in the surf with her at these times.

  It was as if she was seeing yet another Justin, an even more endearing one, an infinitely more loveable one. And, when she already felt as if she loved him to bursting point, that seemed impossible—yet it was happening. Never more so than on the last day of their stay when she awoke to the worst feelings of nausea she had ever experienced.

  The nausea didn’t really hit her until she moved away from Justin’s sleeping body, intending to use the bathroom before he even woke up. As soon as she stepped out of bed, the feelings of sickness washed over her in waves, and she swayed unsteadily on her feet as she tried to swallow down the feeling. Realising she wasn’t going to be able to do that, she made a mad dash for the bathroom before she disgraced herself all over the luxuriously expensive carpet!

  Her stomach kept heaving even once it was empty, and tears streamed down her face. Morning sickness! How were she and Justin going to carry on as if nothing was changing in their marriage when she couldn’t even lift her head off the pillow in the mornings? The tears began to fall even harder.

  ‘It’s nothing to cry about.’ Justin was suddenly at her side, bathing her face, soothing her. ‘Come on back to bed,’ he encouraged gently. ‘I
’ll get you some tea and dry toast sent up. Or would you prefer biscuits?’ All the time he was talking he helped her back into the bedroom, tucking her in firmly beneath the covers before going to the telephone and placing their order.

  All the time he spoke on the telephone, Caroline watched him miserably over the top of the bedclothes, sure her morning sickness had ruined what had been a perfect honeymoon so far.

  ‘They’re sure to realise why you asked for dry toast,’ she sniffled miserably once Justin was off the telephone.

  Smiling gently, he came to sit on the side of the bed, careful not to pull the covers tightly across her sensitive stomach. ‘What difference does it make?’ he cajoled, bathing her face once again.

  ‘They’re all going to think—going to think—’

  ‘That we can’t keep our hands off each other,’ he teased softly. ‘Besides, we know we’ve really been married two months, and that the baby is perfectly legitimate.’

  She swallowed hard. ‘That’s the first time you’ve mentioned the baby without—wincing.’ She looked up at him searchingly.

  His gaze lost all its humour, suddenly evasive. ‘Caroline, I—’ He broke off as a knock sounded on the door, and stood up with what seemed to Caroline to be relief. ‘That will be our breakfast,’ he said lightly. ‘Just stay where you are and I’ll bring it through to you.’

  As if she was going to go anywhere in her condition! Oh, damn it! Being bad-tempered about this wasn’t going to help the situation at all. Justin couldn’t help not wanting the baby, and she couldn’t help her morning sickness either. She would just have to put a brave face on it if she weren’t to make him impatient with the whole thing.

  She was attempting to sit up against the pillows when Justin came back into the room with the breakfast tray.

  He frowned as he saw what she was trying to do. ‘I told you to stay where you were,’ he reproved, putting the tray down to cross the room to her side.

  She forced a bright smile to her lips, not realising it came out looking more like a grimace against her pallor. ‘I’m feeling much better—’