The Guardian Trilogy: The Complete Collection - Guardian, Allegiant & Reborn

by Sara Mack

  “You feel so warm,” he sighs against my skin.

  “You can feel me?”

  “Just warmth,” he answers and opens his eyes, smiling.

  “How does this work?” I ask him, bewildered.

  James shakes his head. “I wish I could explain it to you. I’m still learning myself.”

  “Learning what, exactly?”

  “How to be a Guardian.”

  I gaze at him, stupefied. “A what?”

  He smiles at me. “There’s so much I want to tell you.”

  “So tell me.”

  “It’s a lot.”

  “I can handle it,” I nod enthusiastically.

  “I have a better idea, for tonight anyway.” He steps closer to my bed. “You should get to sleep. You have to be at work in the morning, right?”

  I give him an incredulous look. “Really? You’ve returned from the dead and you want me to go to sleep?”

  He nods.

  “So I won’t be late for work?”

  He nods again.

  “That’s not going to happen,” I cross my arms in defiance. I’m finding it incredibly easy to fall into our old routine.

  “Just get in the bed,” James scolds.

  I roll my eyes at him. “Am I allowed to change? Or must I ‘pretend sleep’ in my clothes?”

  He laughs. “I’ve missed your stubbornness.”

  Annoyed, I march to my dresser and pull some pajamas from the drawer. “Turn around,” I order him.

  “Why?”

  “So I can change.”

  His eyes blatantly travel from my head to my toes. “It’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”

  My face flushes. “You weren’t a ghost before.”

  “Guardian,” he corrects me.

  “Whatever. Whatever you are now, you weren’t that then.”

  “I was the other day in the shower,” he winks at me.

  My mouth falls open in disbelief. That was the first time I’d heard his voice. “You were really there?”

  He nods, a big grin on his face.

  The realization hits and my mouth snaps shut. “You. Were. There.” I growl at him.

  “What?” He looks confused.

  “You should use your powers for good, not evil,” I say sarcastically. “Spying on naked women. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

  “Naked woman,” he corrects me again. “Singular.”

  I give him a dirty look and turn my back to him. As I change clothes a huge smile breaks across my face. I want to hug myself. He was really there!

  “Okay,” I turn back around, now in my sleep shorts and t-shirt.

  “Turn off the light,” he tells me.

  Instantly I pout. “I won’t be able to see you.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

  I sigh and walk over to flip the switch. When I turn around, I see nothing but darkness. I start to walk around to the side of the bed where James was standing, arms outstretched. “Where are you?”

  “I’m right here.”

  His voice closer than I anticipated and it startles me. “Geez!”

  “Sorry,” he immediately apologizes. “Now, get in the bed.”

  I pull the covers back and crawl in, lying in the middle, on my side, like always. “Now what?”

  “Don’t jump,” he says calmly.

  What’s he going to do?

  Slowly, creeping from the top of my head, over my shoulders, along my back, and down my legs I feel the chill. It stays there, and a branch of the chill spreads across my stomach, over my arms. It feels cold, but also heavenly.

  “What are you doing?” I’m barely able to whisper.

  “Are you all right?” he asks softly.

  I nod into the pillow.

  “I thought I would stay with you tonight, if that’s okay?”

  A tear escapes my eye and runs down my cheek. “It’s more than okay.”

  “You’ll probably want to pull the covers over you,” he whispers in my ear. “You might end up shivering if I keep holding you like this.”

  I do as I’m told. The warmth of the blankets and the chill of his body are the perfect balance. My entire body wants to sing; I feel so peaceful.

  “How can you do this?” I ask quietly.

  “What? Lie here?”

  I nod.

  “Right now, for me, it takes a great deal of concentration. Most of my energy has to stay focused on remaining in this exact spot.”

  “What do you mean ‘right now’?”

  “Certain things will get easier, as time goes on.” The chill that lies against my arm starts to move. I visualize James running his fingers to my elbow and back down to my wrist.

  “Why didn’t you reveal yourself to me sooner?”

  “I wanted to, but I had to be taught how. In the beginning, all I could do was watch you. I wanted to show you I was still around so badly, but I had to learn to speak to you first,” he pauses then snickers. “Your reaction in the shower was priceless.”

  I try to elbow him in the gut, but my elbow hits only cool air behind me. “I’m glad my thinking I was going insane entertained you!” I hiss quietly.

  “Aw, don’t be upset. Besides, you could only be one kind of crazy,” he teases.

  “And what’s that?”

  “Crazy about me, of course.”

  “Oh, of course,” I say sarcastically, but I can’t help it and let out a quiet giggle.

  “Talking to you is still hit or miss; I don’t know how I’ve managed to speak with you this long tonight. It has to be tied to the manifest in some way…” his voice fades in thought.

  What? It’s hard to wrap my mind around what he’s telling me, but I’m trying to keep up. “If things are hit or miss, how do you know you’ll be here tomorrow?”

  “I’ll still be here,” he promises. “I’m always here. You just can’t see or hear me all the time. Maybe it will be easier for me, now that I’ve had a successful manifest. Obviously tonight’s attempt has gone very well,” he says, his voice full of pride. “Garrett will be pleased, although he probably won’t be happy with how long I’ve stayed with you.”

  “Who’s Garrett?” I ask, confused.

  “My Guardian.”

  I think I understand. “Your teacher?”

  “Both.”

  “He will be angry with you?” I can’t help myself and a yawn escapes.

  “He only gave me permission to try and show myself – manifest – at the cemetery,” he sighs. “I had to talk him into letting me; it’s still very early in my learning for that big of a step.”

  “Why did he allow it then?”

  James laughs softly. “I haven’t shut up about you since I...” his voice trails off. “I think he got sick of my nagging and caved in. And then, after you fainted, I couldn’t leave you without trying again. I had to make sure you were all right.”

  “Well, when you see him, you can tell him it’s my fault. Thank him for me too.”

  “Will do,” he says quietly. “Now, try to go to sleep.”

  My eyes pop open. “To see him again means you have to leave?”

  I feel the chill along my body grow more intense and then release, as if James hugged me and then let go a little. “Yes, I will have to return to Garrett and my Guardian study because I’m bound to the option I chose. But I can always find you. As time goes on, it’ll be easier to understand. I hope.”

  I try to make sense of everything, but my mind is overwhelmed. Option he chose? “I think you’re going to have to write this down for me. But I trust you.”

  “Good. Now, go to sleep.”

  “No. I just got you back.”

  “Yes.” I feel the chill intensify in a concentrated spot on my cheek and then disappear.

  “Did you just kiss me?”

  “Yes.”

  The cool air moves against my neck, and I picture him nuzzling me there. I lean toward the chill and smile. “Kiss me again please.”


  He complies with my request, but on my temple this time. And then again, under my ear.

  “You came back to me,” I murmur.

  “We aim to please,” I can hear his smile. “I love you,” he whispers.

  “I love you too.”

  “Go to sleep.”

  “So demanding,” I mumble.

  The chill intensifies along my body again, and eventually I allow sleep to overcome me.

  Chapter 14

  I’m too hot. I break free of the blankets that are wrapped around me like a burrito. The air outside my bed feels cooler. A lazy smile spreads across my face as I remember last night.

  My eyes fly open, and I spring upright, realizing the chill of James is gone. I look around the room, searching.

  “James?” I ask quietly. “Are you here?”

  Silence.

  “James?”

  Nothing.

  “Say something!”

  My heart sinks as I hug my knees to my chest. A heavy feeling of loneliness settles over me. Last night wasn’t real, was it?

  Of course it was, my mind taunts me. Your dead boyfriend returned to you as a ghost – NOT! You’ve been Punk’d by your broken heart!

  Defeated, I close my eyes and rest my forehead against my knees. I expect the few tears that escape. I remember the feeling of him lying next to me, his voice, his smile. It was a wonderful delusion while it lasted. I know I shouldn’t but I wonder how to make it happen again.

  I pick my head up and wipe away the tears. I glance at the clock. I need to start getting ready for work, but I remain tied to my bed.

  “What’s with all the drama?”

  I quickly scan the room. “James! What…where are you?” I whisper, panicked, when I can’t find him.

  “Don’t worry; I’m here.”

  “Where?”

  “You can’t see me right now. Seriously Em, calm down, you’re going to give yourself a stroke.”

  I take a deep breath. “When did you leave? Why did you leave?”

  “I had to go this morning. Listen,” he sounds distracted. “I’d love to stay and talk right now, but I can’t. I’ll find you later tonight, okay?”

  “You promise?”

  “I swear.”

  “Okay,” I say quietly to the air. “Love you.”

  “Love you t…” It sounds like he’s cut off.

  I finish wiping the last of my tears and think about what he said. I pry myself out of the bed and begin to get ready for the day. As I do, a grin slowly spreads across my face.

  Last night really happened!

  “All right!” Shel says, slamming her hand down on the counter. “What’s going on?”

  I look at her innocently. “What do you mean?”

  “Something’s up. You’ve had this loopy smile on your face all day and now you’re humming,” she winces. “It’s annoying.”

  I can’t help but smile at her some more. “So now I’m too happy for you? Make up your mind! Happy or depressed, I can’t be both.”

  She eyes me suspiciously. “I’m forced to choose happy.” She crosses her arms. “So what gives?”

  I want to shout from the rooftops that James has returned, but I force myself to respond in measured words. “I’m just feeling…you know…better.” I shrug.

  “Better?” she asks. “Just like that?”

  I try to act casual, like it’s no big deal. “Just like that.”

  “I guess that’s a good thing,” she narrows her eyes and goes back to cleaning the counter top. “But could you stop with the humming?”

  “Whoa. Somebody’s in a bad mood.”

  Shel stops wiping and sighs. “This Matt thing has me really messed up. I can’t stop thinking about it. I need to be sure he’s not mad at me.”

  Just then, two people walk in to the main concession area. I look past Shel and mutter, “Ask and you shall receive,” nodding toward the entrance. Matt and his friend Dane have arrived. My eyes catch Dane’s for a split second, and I quickly look away. Hopefully, I can refrain from acting like an idiot today.

  Shel catches my drift and looks a little surprised. She rearranges her face to look nonchalant then turns around.

  “Hey there!” she greets the guys. Matt stands off to the side, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his cargo shorts, pretending to be interested in the posted menu. He says nothing.

  Dane gives a small wave and leans over the register slightly. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better,” he smiles at Shel conspiratorially.

  Matt nervously clears his throat and shoots him a look out of the corner of his eye. Dane appears to understand his unspoken message. “We’ll have two hot dogs, please,” he orders. “I’ll have a Coke, and, what did you want?” he asks Matt.

  Matt looks up, irritated, like Dane should know better. “The same.”

  “Oh, yeah, two Cokes,” Dane smiles, and his eyes light up. I was right the other night by the fire. His perfectly tousled hair is dark brown and his eyes are a rich hazel.

  Shel rings the order. “That will be $8.50,” she says politely, but when she turns to me, her smile fades and her eyes widen. “You got the dogs?” she asks as she heads to the cooler.

  “Yep,” I say and turn to grab the buns.

  “Hey Emma.”

  I turn and give Dane an embarrassed nod. “Hey. Golfing today?”

  James laughs sarcastically in my ear. “No, they stopped by because this is the best restaurant in town.”

  I try not to appear stunned in front of Dane again and relax my face. I glance out of the corner of my eye to make sure James isn’t standing next to me. He’s not.

  “Yeah, figured I’d drag Matt out for the afternoon,” Dane smirks.

  I finish up with the hot dogs and bring them to the counter. “Here you go.” I hand him the food.

  “Thanks,” he takes one and hands the other to Matt, who has yet to say anything to us.

  Shel returns with the Cokes and sets them on the counter to take Dane’s cash.

  “So,” Dane says as he collects his change from her. “Since you’re both here, I might as well ask. What are you two lovely ladies doing tonight? Care to double?” He glances at Matt with a wicked grin. “I have some lawn furniture at my house that needs christening.”

  Matt nails Dane with a murderous expression. “Dude!”

  Dane holds out his hands, “What?”

  “This lovely lady already has plans tonight,” James growls over my shoulder.

  Shel quickly turns to me and mouths, “What’s going on?”

  I shake my head and shrug.

  Matt lets out an exasperated sigh and his shoulders sag. “Shel, can I talk to you outside for a minute?”

  She rounds the counter and Matt hands his hot dog to Dane, following her outside. Dane chuckles and takes a bite.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask.

  He chews then answers me. “I’m just giving him a hard time. Whether he wants to or not, he needs to talk with her. He’s been sulking since Friday.”

  “Really?”

  Dane nods emphatically. “He just needed a little push, that’s all.”

  “That was a little push?” I smile. “Looked more like a shove to me.”

  He laughs. “I knew he wouldn’t just stand there and do nothing if I said what I did.”

  “Sneaky.”

  Dane smiles, but then his look turns serious. “Listen, I want you to know that I wasn’t asking you out for real. I would never do that.”

  I can’t help it and my face falls, hurt. Not that I care, but that was kind of mean.

  “Wait! That came out wrong!” His face turns red. “Of course I want to take you out! No! What I mean is…”

  “It’s okay,” I mutter and start to walk away.

  “No! Wait,” he reaches across the counter and grabs my arm.

  James growls in my ear.

  “What I meant to say was that I’m sorry about your loss,” he says in a rush. “Matt let me know
about his friend...your….James,” he finishes. “I’m sorry.” He looks sincere.

  “It’s okay.” I give him a weak smile and he lets go of my arm.

  “Damn right,” James snaps.

  Worry clouds Dane’s model-like features. “I’m not that big of a jerk, I swear.”

  “That’s debatable,” James mutters.

  I shake my head at both James and Dane’s comments. “I don’t think that.”

  “You’re sure?” Dane asks.

  “I’m positive.”

  His face relaxes. “Good.”

  “Excuse me?” another golfer has arrived at the counter. Dane grabs his food and drinks as he moves out of the way.

  It seems like I serve quite a few more customers while Dane stands at the end of the counter, finishing off both his and Matt’s lunch. I find it uncomfortable trying to work while he stands there looking at the TV, looking at me, back to the TV, back to me. I glance at the clock. Where are Matt and Shel?

  Dane notices my observance of the time. “Taking a while, aren’t they?”

  “Should we be worried?”

  “Nah,” he shakes his head.

  The minutes pass. I look at the clock again. Our shift ends in fifteen minutes. I decide to close out my drawer and get things ready for the next employee.

  “You’re off at five?” Dane absentmindedly asks.

  “Yep.” I’m anxious to get home. A shiver of excitement runs through me at the thought of seeing James again.

  Dane hangs out at the end of the counter for the next fifteen minutes until Katie shows up for the evening shift. Doesn’t he have anything better to do? Where the hell is Shel?

  “Hey, Emma,” Katie says as she comes around the corner. “Busy today?”

  “Not too bad,” I smile as I grab my bag and Shel’s things. “Everything’s all restocked.” I walk out from behind the counter. “Have a good night.”

  “You too,” she says and her eye catches Dane walking up to me. She shoots me a questioning look.

  “I’ll walk you out,” he says.

  James’ voice sounds menacing over my shoulder. “The hell you will!”

  “Uh…that’s okay,” I stammer. “I need to find Shel anyway; she’s my ride.”

  “Funny, Matt rode with me,” he smiles. He reaches around me and holds the door open. “Let’s find them together.”