The Guardian Trilogy: The Complete Collection - Guardian, Allegiant & Reborn

by Sara Mack

  After about an hour or so, people start to grumble about hunger and pizza is delivered. I pick at my plate and look at the faces that surround me. My friends and family eat, smile, and laugh while the gross topic of my attack is abandoned, for now. An overwhelming feeling of love and gratitude washes over me. My heart wants to burst with the feelings I have for these people, for how much they love me, and I love them. For how much they know what I need. Then, suddenly, my heart pinches with sadness. Two very important people that I love dearly are missing around my table – James and Dane.

  My manager Kris calls in the middle of our impromptu dinner party to express how horrified she is by what’s happened. I didn’t ask, but I assume she was told by Dane. The doctor who discharged me from the hospital wrote me off of work for one week. Kris demands that I take two.

  “Don’t worry,” Shel smiles after I get off the phone. “We’ll find ways to keep busy.”

  Our guests hang out longer than I expected, and by the time I look at the clock it’s just after ten. My dad turns on the TV, and my attack makes the news. I don’t know why I would expect any different, especially since we live in a relatively small town. Thankfully, the details are very generic and my name is withheld.

  I decide that now is as good a time as any to call it a night. “Thanks for coming over,” I tell Mike and Kate as I hug them goodbye.

  “Love you Ems,” my brother squeezes me.

  My mom reminds me that she’ll be waking me every hour to check on me per doctor’s instructions. My dad hugs me good night, as does Matt. Shel follows me to my room.

  “You’d think I was leaving or something with all the hugging,” I say to Shel as we step into my bedroom.

  She turns to me and wraps me in another constrictor-like grasp.

  “Oooookay.”

  She steps back. “Do you know how much you scared us?” she asks anxiously. “I mean, it wasn’t your fault, but the whole idea…” She hugs herself and shudders. “God Em, how are you handling this?”

  “I don’t know,” I say honestly. “One minute I’m fine. Then the next my mind is replaying what happened, which creeps me out entirely. Then the next minute, I’m fine again.”

  Shel looks at me with sympathy. “You should have stayed with us at Matt’s. Then this wouldn’t have happened. Why did you leave anyway?”

  I ignore her question, but refute her theory. “Based on what Patrick said, he would have found another time to get to me.” I look over at my bedroom window, the window that he said he came through. A chill runs down my spine. “Shel?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Will you stay with me tonight?”

  “Of course! One sec.” She leaves the room and I hear her descend the stairs, telling my parents and Matt that she’ll be spending the night here.

  I walk over and study myself in my bedroom mirror. The right side of my face is swollen, and there’s a shadow of a bruise around my eye and a darker one across my cheek. I look like I haven’t slept in weeks. I remember the feeling of Patrick’s backhand and wince. Ouch.

  I pull out pajamas for Shel, change into my own, and then crawl into bed, keeping an eye on the window the entire time. My dad said he repaired the lock and logic tells me Patrick’s not coming back through it, but my heart still picks up its pace. I look around the room hoping to see James. I know he can’t stay with Shel here, but I could really use even the briefest glimpse of his face. I expected to see him sometime today. My heart skips a beat. Is Garrett upset with him? Did his involvement in protecting me cross some sort of Guardian line? Or is he now processing the kiss with Dane?

  Shel reappears in my doorway. She grabs the pj’s, changes, turns out the light, and crawls in my bed to lay opposite of me.

  “Thanks,” I say.

  “Absolutely not a problem.”

  We lay in silence for a few moments.

  “Do you want to talk or do you want to sleep?” she asks.

  “A little of both, I guess. Just…let’s not talk about Patrick.”

  “Done,” she pauses. “Why did you leave Matt’s?”

  Ugh. I should have known she wouldn’t leave it alone. I decide to tell her, since I’ve already discussed it with Dane. “Dane kissed me.”

  I can see the outline of her reaction in the dark. Her eyes grow wide, her mouth forms an O. “Well, then, that explains a lot.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “When Matt and I came back with the food we found Dane sitting alone. Matt asked where you were and he said that you had to leave. I tried to call you, but you wouldn’t answer. After, like, almost an hour he just suddenly stood up, said goodbye, and left.”

  I make a face in the darkness. “My reaction to his kiss was….kind of harsh.”

  “Emmmmma,” Shel draws out my name, like she’s disappointed in the way I handled things.

  “You know I love James,” I defend myself.

  “And you know he’s gone, right?” she comes back.

  “Seriously? Thanks for the reminder.”

  She sighs. “I just want you to be happy.”

  “Who says I’m not happy?”

  I can see her glaring at me. She makes a wise choice though and drops it.

  “Besides, Dane and I talked this morning,” I elaborate. “I told him we could only be friends.”

  “Hmmm,” Shel purses her lips. “So that’s why he wasn’t here tonight.”

  “No. We talked this morning. He didn’t need to come by again.”

  Shel flops from her side to her back, making the whole bed shake. “Emma, I’m trying to remain calm.”

  “Please do,” I say sarcastically.

  She turns her head to me. “The man saves your life. Bleeds for you. Stays by your bedside for an entire night while you’re under observation in a hospital. And you give him the friends line?”

  “Who says he was there the entire night?”

  “Um, your parents! They didn’t even know who he was to begin with. He didn’t even want the stitches; he just wanted to be with you.”

  I groan. This is worse than I thought.

  “Couldn’t you have at least said you could only be friends for now? Give the guy a little hope?”

  I sigh. This is so much more involved than she knows; more involved than she can know. I look at her squarely through the darkness. “I love James. I will always love James. End of story.”

  She meets my stare head on and fires back. “Are you saying that to convince me...or yourself?”

  Chapter 31

  I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Shel has gone for now and I lie there pondering her question. I never answered it. I hate that she asked it.

  “Emma.”

  I sit up quickly. Too quickly. My head swims a little, but I can still focus on James. My body sags with relief, Shel’s question forgotten. “Hi.”

  He’s immediately by my side holding my face in his hands. His eyes focus on my bruises and the swelling. His face turns grim. “Are you in pain?”

  Shaking my head, I smile, happy that he’s finally here. “I have some pretty great pills. Vicodin.”

  James frowns as he continues to look me over.

  I place my hands on top of his. “Stop.”

  He stares into my eyes, and all I can see is worry and distress in his. “How badly are you hurt?”

  I sigh and remove my hands from my face. He does the same. “I have a mild concussion.”

  James closes his eyes as if in pain himself. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers.

  “It’s not your fault,” I reassure him. “It could have been a lot worse. No one saw this coming.”

  “Exactly,” he stands and starts to pace.

  His anxiety worries me. “What’s wrong?”

  “Everything.”

  My heart plummets at his response. “Everything?” This is it! my mind shouts at me, Patrick. Dane. It’s all pushing him away from you!

  I stand and approach him. “Tell me what’s wrong. We can make
it right.”

  He looks at me, searching my face. “I can’t protect you.”

  I wrap my arms around his waist. “I don’t need protecting. Patrick will be arrested and that’s the end of him. And besides, you did protect me. What you did…what you’re able to do…it helped save me.”

  He reluctantly wraps his arms around me. The cool feeling penetrates my clothes and soothes my skin. “Helped,” he snorts and rests his forehead against mine. “You deserve better than that.”

  “I deserve you,” I say adamantly. “Someone who sacrificed eternity to become a Guardian? In order to come back to me from death? I’d say that qualifies as best.” James kisses my forehead, and I let out a heavy breath. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. Not you.”

  He steps back from me. “For kissing…him?” He can’t even say Dane’s name.

  I look up at him ashamed. “Yes.”

  James places his hands on my shoulders and gives me a concentrated stare. “I won’t lie. I was angry.”

  I knew this, but hearing him say it feels like I’ve been punched in the stomach. “I…I resisted and then I don’t know what happened,” I sadly confess. “When I heard your voice I knew…”

  “You were caught?” James finishes my sentence.

  I silently pray that the floor will open up and swallow me whole. Quickly.

  “I always think you’re watching,” I whisper. “I didn’t plan for it to happen; it was never my intention…”

  He wraps his arms around me, cutting me off. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “What do you mean it doesn’t matter? Of course it matters.”

  “You were brutally attacked in front of me. I could have lost you. If not physically then quite possibly mentally. Talk about a wakeup call,” he says. “Am I upset that you kissed him? Yes.” He pulls away from me. “But that doesn’t make me love you any less.”

  I blink at him in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

  He nods as his bright blue eyes cloud over. “It only makes me realize some things about myself.”

  I move my arms to reach around his neck. “I spoke with Dane yesterday. I told him straight out that we could only be friends.”

  “I saw.”

  “You saw? Why didn’t you say something?”

  “You had company.”

  “I didn’t think you came to visit me at all in the hospital. I was wondering where you were, I was worried you were in trouble again.”

  “No, I’m not in trouble. I was with you through the night,” James pauses and shakes his head. “Me on one side of the bed and Dane on the other. It was an interesting evening.” He sighs. “I can’t hate the guy as much as I’d like to. Don’t get me wrong; he’s not my favorite person. But, he did something for you that I couldn’t.”

  “I love you. You know that, right?”

  He shakes his cloudy look away and gives me a small smile. “I do.” His arms encircle my waist, and he leans in to kiss me. What starts as a gentle kiss grows into something hungry. “I love you. Never forget that,” he says when we part.

  I don’t like the sadness in his eyes. “I’ll never be able to forget. You’re mine for eternity, remember?”

  “Emma!” my mother shouts up the stairs. “Sergeant Reynolds is here!”

  “I have to give my statement to the police,” I tell James. “Can you stay with me?”

  “I’ll stay as long as I can,” he says, his eyes boring into mine.

  I nod and turn to head downstairs. James follows close behind.

  Shel keeps me busy over the next week with something planned each day. If it’s not lunch, it’s shopping. If it’s not shopping, it’s a movie. If it’s not a movie, it’s a trip to the beach, or Matt’s pool. I sincerely feel like she doesn’t want me left alone for any period of time. I don’t know if she’s worried I’ll be attacked again, or if she’s just trying to make the most of the time we have left this summer. Probably both. It’s already mid-July. She will be returning to Ann Arbor in about two weeks; I’ll be headed back to school mid-August.

  I got a letter in the mail from Western approving my housing application for my senior year. While this is great news, it also brought back some bittersweet memories. I’ll be residing off campus in an apartment building of sorts; an older home that has been converted into four apartments for students. This is what James and I had planned. To live together, graduate together, hurry up and start the rest of our lives together. I can’t be too sad about it though. While our relationship is anything but traditional, he is still with me. Garrett has been a little more lenient with him since the attack, and James has been able to spend almost every night of the last week in my room. He’s been in a melancholy mood, however, and I can’t seem to shake him out of it.

  Receiving the housing letter prompts me to get in gear and get registered for the fall semester. I’m on my laptop, trying to compare the classes that are offered with the ones I need, when Shel calls.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Trying to register for classes.”

  “Oh. Well be ready at six.”

  “For what?”

  “Dinner. I’m picking you up. You like Mario’s right?”

  I roll my eyes. “Yes, I like Mario’s. You know, we don’t have to do something together every day. Take Matt out tonight. I’m sure he would like to spend some time with you. I can share,” I laugh.

  “No worries; he’s coming with us.”

  “Oh. Well then, I really don’t need to go. You two have fun.”

  Silence. Silence is never a good sign with Shel.

  “Shel?”

  “Dane will be there too; gotta go; see you at six,” she rushes and hangs up on me.

  I should have known. I shrug and hang up the phone. It’ll be nice to hang out with the guys for a change.

  Shel arrives promptly at six. It’s only when she asks “You’re wearing that?” that I realize what she’s up to.

  “Shelby Elizabeth Moore,” I say through clenched teeth. “Please tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.”

  She feigns innocence. “I’m not doing what you think I’m doing – whatever it is,” she avoids my stare. “Get in the car.”

  I’m still suspicious. “Where are Matt and Dane?” I ask, as I eye the empty vehicle.

  “They’re meeting us there,” she says nonchalantly. “Now get in the car. We’ll be late.”

  On our way to the restaurant, Shel receives a text from Matt. “What’s up?” I ask her.

  “Nothing,” she says a bit too quickly. “The guys are already there.”

  We pull into the restaurant, park, and walk inside. I expect to see Matt and Dane waiting for us in the lobby, but they aren’t there. Shel approaches the hostess and tells her we’re expected. She made a reservation? My suspicion level jumps through the roof.

  The hostess walks us through the restaurant to where Matt is seated. I smile and wave until I notice he’s seated at a small table, a table for two. I glare at Shel as she takes the seat across from him.

  “Sorry Em,” Matt says pulling my attention from Shel. “They didn’t have a table available for four.” He smiles like a guilty child.

  I put my hands on my hips and shoot Shel a look that would probably have killed her if it could. She smiles shyly and dangles her car keys from her hand, letting me know that she drove and I’m unable leave, unless I want to walk.

  “This way please,” the hostess nudges me.

  I begrudgingly follow her and sigh. Oh well. Shel has no idea how much this won’t work. Both Dane and I know what’s what.

  We come upon him seated at a similar two-person table still in eyeshot of Matt and Shel.

  “Hey,” I say somewhat annoyed as I sink into the seat.

  “Grace,” he nods and looks amused.

  I can’t help but laugh. I haven’t been called that in awhile. “How did you get roped into this?”

  He smiles. “Probably the same way you did.”
/>
  “Well, I’m sorry,” I apologize. “Shel doesn’t seem to believe anything I say.”

  He regards me. “Friends can have dinner, right?”

  “Of course,” I smile and pick up the menu. “Do you know what you want?”

  His eyes flash to mine and hold them for a moment before he reaches for the drink menu. “I decided what I wanted awhile ago.”

  “My favorite is their fettuccine alfredo,” I continue, ignoring his comment. My face feels hot all of a sudden.

  He notices my blush. “Relax,” he says. “Matt and I have been here for like 15 minutes. I seriously know what I want.”

  Oh. Okay.

  Our waitress appears with glasses of water and takes our order, since my favorite is the alfredo and Dane’s so on top of “what he wants.” He orders a Stromboli.

  “How’s work been?” I ask.

  “Good. Boring. You know you could come up and visit.”

  “Sorry. Shel has me going somewhere every day. And I mean every day. I think she thinks I need constant supervision.”

  “You only have a week left off,” he reminds me. “You’d better get up there to say hi sooner rather than later.”

  “Why the rush? You miss me that much?”

  He smiles at my teasing, shaking his head. “My last day is the 20th.”

  Why does this news hurt my heart? My face falls before I can stop it. “You’re quitting?”

  He nods and takes a drink. “I have to. I thought Shel told you I have another job.”

  That’s right. The artist thing. “Right,” I shake my head to clear my thoughts. “What is your other job exactly?”

  “I freelance graphic design stuff for a company called Legionnaire. When they get an advertising contract they call me. A big project just came through.”

  I’m impressed, and my face shows it. “Wow. Your dad disapproves of this job why?” I remember he told me his father was overjoyed by his late interest in Bay Woods.

  “He doesn’t think it’s stable. The projects come when they come,” he shrugs. “But it’s worked out for me for three years, so I can’t complain.”