by Sara Mack
“When can we get out of here?” he mutters. “This is too much for one night.”
My heart goes out to him. I glance around the rest of the room and find the other Guardians standing about sporadically, except for Meg. She’s sitting conspicuously close to James on one of the couches, and her hand rests on his knee. I can’t help it and one eyebrow shoots up. Really? She doesn’t waste any time does she?
James jumps to his feet when he spots me and everyone turns my way. “How’s your shoulder?”
“Fine.” I take the bag of ice from Dane and set it back on my skin. “Garrett’s the one you need to worry about.” I glance at Ash. “What did I miss?”
“I was saying that we’ll need to regroup and strike again to retrieve Lucas. It shouldn’t be too hard if we’re not separated. I think we took out the majority of the new Allegiant we came across tonight.”
“How many were there?”
“James and I encountered six. We barely took out two before realizing how outnumbered we were. I demanded James abort the mission and then two of them followed us to the arch. You know what happened after that.”
“So when do we go back? We can’t allow Kellan much time to create more.” If we do we’ll just end up in an endless cycle of cat and mouse.
“Our good friends over here are going to make sure where we stand.” Ash glances toward the other Guardians. “They’ll let us know if Kellan has anymore Allegiant hiding in the wings. Once we know exactly what we’re dealing with, we’ll return. Today was a close call. I don’t want that happening again.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Ash stands and addresses the group. “I believe everything we need to talk about has been discussed. Mad and I are ready to call it a night; we need to keep an eye on Garrett. You’re all more than welcome to stay here if you’d like.”
James looks at me expectantly. Is he kidding? I’m sure Meg would rather I didn’t. My eyes dart to her, and my mind hears her southern twang. “Please say no.”
Her comment tips my mental scale, and the weight of everything that’s happened today settles on my shoulders. My friends know everything. I killed two people. One of them was Patrick. I got a little beat up. Garrett is really sick. Meg wants time with James. And we still have to rescue Lucas.
I need to be alone.
“I’m headed home.” I take a step. “For someone who doesn’t tire easily my bed is calling.”
James stops me. “You can’t go home.”
“Why?” Dane and I give him confused stares.
“When we were in the Intermediate I managed to get some information out of Patrick. I read his mind, but it wasn’t giving me what I wanted to know. I demanded he tell me how he got there and of course his smug ass told me.”
“What did he say?”
“That Kellan found him through Garrett’s memories. Remember how Jack told us Garrett’s mind had been read?”
My eyes dart to Jack and I nod.
“Garrett knew about Patrick because he tried to help me over my guilt from your attack. Kellan tried to use Patrick to get under your skin. Think about it. If he knows all about you from Garrett’s memories with me then he knows where you live. How many times have I been to your house? How many times did Garrett pull me away from you this summer?”
I can’t answer him because I don’t remember. All my body registers is the feeling of an invisible elephant sitting on my chest. “I need to get my parents out of there,” I whisper. “If he used Patrick then what’s to stop him from using them?” I’m terrified. What am I going to do?
Instantly, Ash is at my side. “It doesn’t work that way,” he calms me. “He can’t turn the living without their permission. The only reason it worked with Patrick is because his mind was sick and he had no better option. I doubt your parents would agree to die and become one of Kellan’s minions.”
I give him a wary look. “He can’t force them?”
He shakes his head. “There are rules they have to follow, too. Safeguards. The position holds great responsibility; they wield a lot of power. We wouldn’t want a rogue Allegiant getting a big head and trying to rule the Intermediate and world now would we?” He attempts to smile.
Relief floods my body. Thank God.
Ash isn’t finished. “I do agree with James, however. It’s not safe for you to be home alone. At least one of us should be with you in case Kellan sends multiple Allegiant.”
Not this again!
“She can stay with me,” Dane volunteers. “Garrett has never been to my place.”
“You cannot defeat an Allegiant,” James says, his jaw tense. “Kellan has read Lucas’ mind. Obviously, he knows who you are. Your potential father-in-law never visited your apartment?”
Dane looks irritated. “Physically, no. But he does know my address. It’s in my employee file.”
Well that screws that. “I guess I’m staying here then.” I look to Madeline. “Which room would you prefer I take?”
“Wait a minute,” Dane stops me. “How are you going to explain moving out to your parents? ‘Hey, by the way, I don’t want to live with you anymore? I’m moving out with some random people you don’t know?’ Come on, Em.” Clearly he doesn’t want me staying here.
“I could stay at your house invisibly for most of the time,” James pulls my attention from Dane. “That eliminates the moving out problem.”
It’s too late for this insane Ping-Pong of arguments. I look at Meg. She’s not happy. I look at Dane. He’s not happy. “Enough!” I step away from them. “I’m staying with Shel for the night.” I glance at Matt. Now he’s unhappy. Ugh! “Never mind,” I sigh. “The easiest thing is for me to stay here for now. We’ll figure something out in the morning. Mad?” I glance at her again.
“You know,” Ash says, “not that it will help immediately, but moving in with Dane isn’t out of the question.”
What? My eyes flash to James. Now he’s pissed.
“What do you mean?” Dane asks.
I stare at Ash and read his thoughts. He can’t be serious!
“Mad and I could Gift you,” he says aloud to Dane. “We always need more Charmed, and I believe you’re worthy of The Larvatus. What do you say?” he asks. “Care to join our team?”
Chapter 18
“Absolutely not!”
Dane looks at me in shock. “Excuse me?”
I slap my hand over my mouth. Did I say that out loud? His eyes bore into mine, hard and intense. He’s angry.
“Perhaps this is a discussion for another time,” Ash says diplomatically.
“No, it’s a discussion for now.” Dane’s neck flexes. “In private.”
My stomach twists into a hard knot. I’ve truly upset him, and I wasn’t trying to. I turn my weary eyes to Madeline and she reads my thoughts.
“There are four bedrooms upstairs,” she says. “Take your pick.”
I start to walk away, and James grabs my arm.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to him,” he says. He turns and shoots daggers at Dane. “I think it’s clear how she feels. Leave it alone.”
Dane’s eyes flash. “Let her go.”
The grip on my arm tightens.
Have these two lost their minds? Everyone in this room must think we’re nuts! “James, let go.” I brush his hand and it falls from my arm. “I don’t have a problem explaining what I said.”
Dane looks vindicated as I step around him, and I sense him follow me as I head up the stairs. I don’t bother to say good night, or nice to meet you, or see you later to anyone. I just head to the first empty room I find.
Dane shuts the door behind us. “Why did you say that?” he demands.
“I’m sorry. It was a gut reaction.”
“To what? The idea of my being like you? Why is that so repulsive?”
I frown. “It’s not repulsive. It’s uncalled for.”
“How so?” He takes two steps to stand directly in front of me. “I could protect you; we cou
ld protect each other.”
“I know.”
“You know?” He scowls. “Then give me a good reason not to march back downstairs and demand to be Charmed tonight.”
I stare at him wide-eyed. “You would do that?”
“Hell yes I would do that! If it means protecting you. If it means we could spend more time together. I’d do it in a second.”
My face pinches. I try to speak, but my thoughts won’t form sentences. He shouldn’t want to drastically alter his life for me; he should want do it for himself.
“Say something,” he says and grasps my arms. “Give me a good reason not to do this.”
I stare into his hazel eyes, the flecks of green burning bright with his intense words. I say the first thing that comes to my mind. “I don’t want you to change your life for me.”
His eyes narrow. “Or is it that you don’t want me cutting into your time with James?”
What? I shake my head violently. “No! That thought never crossed my mind!” No wonder he’s so angry. “I simply don’t want you to become something you’re not because of me! You should want to do it for yourself. What if you hate it? I don’t want that guilt.”
He gives me an uncertain look. “So it’s all about you?”
“No,” I sigh as I remove his hands from my arms. “It’s entirely about you. If you choose this life you should do it because you want to live it. Not because you felt compelled to do it for me. I would never ask you to give this much of yourself. I won’t ask you to. This shouldn’t be a rash decision.”
He studies my face and then the floor, hopefully digesting my words. After a few moments, he looks at me again. “And if I decide I want it? Would you be upset?”
“No,” I admit honestly. “Not after you’ve spoken to Ash about what it involves and given it some real thought.”
He sighs, rubs his tired eyes, then reaches for me. “Come here.”
As I walk into his arms, I wrap mine around his waist. He pulls me to his chest, and I bury my head under his chin. “This is not how I hoped this night would end,” he says against my hair. “Some New Year’s Eve.”
My embrace tightens. “I think its New Year’s Day now.”
He nods in agreement. “Being stuck here with Matt and Shel drove me out of my mind. All I kept thinking was that you should be safe with me and wearing that amazing dress.”
I lean away from him. “If I recall the evening correctly you wanted me out of that dress, mister. I don’t know how safe I was.”
He smirks. “Your memory has suddenly become infallible.”
I laugh as his hands start to move against my back.
“Do you think I could get that kiss we missed at midnight?”
“Sure,” I say and then arch a brow. “As long as you promise not to make any hasty decisions when it comes to your humanity.”
He pauses to consider my request. “Will dwelling on it for a couple of days suffice?”
“Make it a week and I’ll give you more than one kiss.”
He doesn’t hesitate. “Done.”
An exasperated sigh escapes me. “You give in too easily.”
He lowers his gaze and holds his lips centimeters from mine. “When are you going to figure out I can’t resist you?”
“So what did you tell your parents?”
I slam the car door behind me. “That I’m a supernatural force of nature and I have to save our little piece of the world from impending doom.”
Shel gives me a sarcastic stare.
“They told me to have fun and be careful,” I tease.
She groans. “I still don’t think any of this is funny.”
“You need to lighten up,” I tell her and turn the key in the ignition. “I told them we’re on a pre-semester vacation just like we talked about.”
A few days, and several discussions later, I find myself faking a girl’s trip because I’m stuck with The Larvatus for the foreseeable future. Rather than making up daily lies to feed my parents about why they never see me, Shel and I came up with the idea for a faux winter trip. Supposedly we’re headed to her aunt’s place in Traverse City while, in reality, I’ll be fifteen minutes away practicing defensive maneuvers and keeping vigil at Garrett’s bedside. My lie buys me one week of time; after that, I’ll have to come up with something else.
“I’m surprised Matt didn’t ask you to watch the game with him,” I say as we back out of her driveway. “He misses you.”
“How do you know? Did you read his thoughts?”
“Maybe.”
“You’re such a freak!” she laughs. “He did ask, but I really have no interest in sports. Besides, I need to make sure both you and Garrett are still in one piece.”
Her concern makes me smile.
“So,” she pauses to pop some gum in her mouth, “have you seen Dane? Or is he still working ungodly hours?”
“Still working.” I frown. “This year-end financial stuff is no joke when it’s never been your responsibility before.”
I haven’t seen Dane in days. As soon as he got back to work, Teagan gave him the task of reviewing the reports for Legionnaire’s annual audit. He’s nervous he is going to miss something important, and he’s been putting in extra time. When he gets home he calls, usually after ten o’clock. Last night all I got was a text:
Finally home. Management is not my calling.
I’m sure you’re doing great.
We’ll see. I miss you.
Miss you too.
“He won’t change his mind about moving in? Even for a little while?” Shel asks.
“I told you,” I say as we stop at a light. “He can’t stand James. You saw how they acted the last time they were together. Dane says he doesn’t want to fight and he’s sure he will, given how stressed he is. He was kind of embarrassed about it the last time.” Dane told me he felt like an ass getting into it with James in front of The Larvatus and every Guardian we know. While he’s not happy about my living situation, he understands why it is the most logical choice for me. It’s just not the best choice for him.
“Has he mentioned which way he’s leaning on the Charmed thing?”
He hasn’t, and I secretly hope he’ll forget the whole idea. He’s been too preoccupied to consider it for the right reasons. “No, and I haven’t brought it up. He has enough to deal with.”
Shel stares out the window and chews. “You’ve got that right. Working with Teagan would suck the life out of anyone.” She turns to me. “You don’t think she’s keeping him late at the office on purpose do you?”
I shoot her a confused look. “How do you mean?”
“What do you mean how do I mean?! She’s his ex-fiancée that has yet to get over him. You don’t think she might be creating more work than necessary to worm her way back into his life?”
The idea sounds foreign to me. “I hadn’t considered that, no.”
Shel crosses her arms. “You can be so naïve sometimes.”
“Thanks a lot!”
“Have you forgotten who you’re dealing with? This is the woman who held Dane’s job over his head to make him marry her. The same person who let herself into his place and waited for him in his bed after he broke it off with her! She is the evil wench who anonymously sent you an article about her return to town and upcoming wedding. It was how you found out about Dane’s engagement in the first place.”
Is she kidding? He didn’t tell me about the engagement himself?
Shel takes in my bewildered expression and her eyes grow wide. “Of course you don’t remember! It’s all blocked.”
She’s got that right. “Is there anything else I should know?”
“She’s frickin’ gorgeous.” Shel scowls. “Why is it the pretty ones are always so mean?”
I shrug. From the brief absence of my jewelry, I remember Teagan’s appearance; she was dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Even so, I have to agree she is beautiful.
“That girl doesn’t play,” Shel continue
s. “Last I heard she still refuses to take off Dane’s ring. You might want to pay an unannounced visit to the office to check her, to let her know you’re still in the game.”
My face twists. I don’t play games. “Do you think Dane would go back to her?”
“Do I think he would give up on you for her? No. Do I think she will try everything in her power to convince him otherwise? Yes.”
A vision of them staying late at the office, sharing takeout, jumps in my head. My mind sets a scene where she blatantly reaches across the desk in front of him for some papers, her low cut top and barely work appropriate skirt advertising everything she has to offer. Things I don’t own and aren’t willing to give up. A sour taste appears in the back of my throat.
“Are you trying to make me sick?”
Shel’s expression turns sympathetic. “I’m not,” she sighs. “If it makes you feel better our waitress was flirting with Matt during dinner yesterday and I wanted to slap her.”
“Was he flirting back?”
“Of course not. He’s oblivious to that stuff most of the time. I just don’t get why people can’t let other people be. If it’s clear someone is in a relationship just walk away.”
I murmur my agreement.
“Take Meg for example. She knows you and James are still involved; she’s known about you from the beginning. Do you think she could tone down the flirting a little? Holy cow.”
I know what she means. “She is really obvious, isn’t she?”
“You think?!” Shel scoffs. “That girl has an agenda. She’s just waiting for you to make up your mind. You can see it in her eyes.”
I let out a heavy breath. “Did I tell you she kissed James?”
Her eyes get big. “In front of you?”
“No, months ago. Before I left for the island. James told me.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“At the time I didn’t know her; I couldn’t remember anything except her face. And now, seeing them together makes me uncomfortable. I’m not going to lie; whenever they’re together, I leave the room.”
“Are you sure you want to stay here?” Shel indicates The Larvatus’ house as we pull up the drive. “Maybe you should get a hotel room or something.”
