The Guardian Trilogy: The Complete Collection - Guardian, Allegiant & Reborn

by Sara Mack

  “You’ve got to be joking,” she sarcastically spits. Her almond eyes narrow as she approaches the desk. “Since when do you work here?”

  My jaw tenses, but I manage a professional tone. “Since Monday.”

  “Perfect. Now I’ll have to find a new vet,” she sniffs.

  Ugh! I want to strangle her. Instead, I conjure up the most courteous smile I can muster which turns out to be a lame smirk. “You know you won’t find anyone better than Dr. Randall,” I say like the good employee I’m trying to be. I break her evil stare to consult the appointment log and see “Molly” at one o’clock. “The doctor will be right with you and Molly.” I glance at her. Where is her pet?

  Within seconds, I see a tiny tan head pop out of her bag. Of course Teagan would have a purse dog. Even though the puppy is cute, I can’t help myself. “Oh! What a cute rat.”

  Teagan’s eyes flash and she hisses. “She’s a Yorkie you twit!”

  I shrug. “Sorry.”

  Her eyes shoot daggers. “No one disrespects me and gets away with it. You have no idea who you’re messing with.”

  “Oh, I think I do,” I say confidently and lean toward her. “You don’t scare me,” I whisper.

  She glares at me as I redirect my attention to messaging Matt’s dad that his appointment is here. He instantly responds that he’s ready and to send her to exam room two.

  “You’ll be in room two,” I inform Teagan sweetly. “Would you like me to escort you back?”

  She huffs and marches away without another word, bypassing a slow moving Sheila. Apparently, Teagan is self-sufficient when it comes to finding the exam room.

  I shake off her ridiculousness as I leave for lunch. Sitting in the drive thru line at Subway, I come to a conclusion. I’ll never be able to stop myself from making snide comments when she’s around, so I shouldn’t even try. If she would just shut up when we run into each other we wouldn’t have a problem. What did Dane ever see in her anyway? I mean, she’s pretty; I get that. But was he ever that shallow?

  When I return to the clinic, I park in my usual spot behind the building. My stomach rumbles and I grab my food, focused on making it to the break room. I hear a car door slam.

  “We need to talk.”

  I turn to find Teagan approaching me from her Lexus. Fabulous. She was lying in wait for me? I shoot her a confused look. “What could we possibly have to talk about?”

  She stops about a foot away, crosses her arms, and sets her jaw. “Don’t play dumb. You may have fooled Dane, but you haven’t fooled me.”

  What in the world is she talking about? “Are you off your meds?” I ask sarcastically. “I haven’t fooled Dane about anything.”

  Her nostrils flare and she points to herself. “I’m not the one who’s mentally unstable here. You are.”

  Okay, whatever. If she keeps this up I’ll be forced to physically put her in her place. You don’t mess with a hungry Larvatus. “Teagan,” I take a deep breath, “I barely know you and you hardly know me. Let’s just stay away from each other, okay?” I take a step toward the building.

  She reaches out and grabs my shoulder, stopping me and turning me around. “No one turns their back on me.”

  She did not just touch me. Adrenaline courses through my veins. I glare at her, wrap my fingers around her wrist, and remove her hand from my body as calmly as possible. “Well, get used to it, because it’s going to happen again.”

  I turn away, take two steps, and stumble. Did she just shove me?! That’s it! I have never been involved in a catfight before, but I guess the time has come. I turn on my heel and on her.

  “What is your problem?” I snap.

  “My problem is you.” She moves closer. “The only reason Dane left me is because you put on a good show. We’d still be together if it weren’t for your little depression routine this summer. The only reason he’s with you is because he feels sorry for you.”

  That can’t be true, but her words still sting. My eyes narrow. “You couldn’t be more wrong.”

  “Really?” She raises her brow. “Then what is your relationship based on? You haven’t even known each other a year. I was with him for a decade!”

  I smirk. “I’m sorry you wasted your time.”

  She steps closer and we’re nearly nose to nose. “You think you know everything, don’t you?”

  I stand my ground. “No, but I know this. Dane and I love each other.” I pause. “So build a bridge and get over it.”

  Teagan tries to slap me, but I drop my lunch and catch her wrist, stopping her hand in mid-air. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Little does she know I could toss her into next week.

  I feel her arm relax and let her go. She jerks away and steps back. Because I feel my point’s been made, I bend at the knees to pick up my Subway, but maintain eye contact. “I’m going back to work now. I suggest you do the same.”

  She surprises me by stepping forward and kicking my lunch under the nearest car. Does she have a death wish? “What is with you?” I spit. “Are we in kindergarten?”

  “I’m not through with you yet,” she sneers.

  “Well, I’m through with you.” I stand. “Let me know when you’re ready to act your age. Maybe then we can talk.”

  I start to walk away, and she catches my forearm. Seriously?! I haven’t touched her once! “Let me go.” I try to pull away without ripping her fingers off.

  “I said I’m not done with you,” she hisses.

  This is ludicrous! I tug my arm harder, and her grip slips to my wrist. Forcefully, I yank my arm free and her hand leaves my body – taking my bracelet with it.

  Instantly my eyes are on fire. The blinding light is back as memories start to flood my brain. I try not to cry out; Teagan can’t see me like this. Pain sears though my skull, and I bring my hands to my face to block my expression. How long will this last? How can I get the jewelry back? The visions start to come in rapid succession. James. Dane. Garrett. Dane. James.

  “Look at me!” she shrieks. At least it sounds like she’s shrieking.

  I try to pull my hands away from my face, but it’s as if they’re locked. A memory of James asking me to prom morphs into a memory of Dane kissing me in Matt’s backyard.

  I feel Teagan’s hand around my wrist again. It pushes me over the edge, and I lash out. “Stop touching me!”

  My fist connects with her nose.

  “Argh!” she screams. My hand feels wet, and I know I’ve made her bleed. I peel my eyes open and see her stumbling backward, her hands cupped over her face. There’s blood on her fingers.

  “You broke my nose!” she yells.

  Shit. I know she’s right.

  I slam my eyes closed and will everything to stop. As much as I loathe Teagan I need to get her to a doctor. More scenes play behind my eyes, and I lean against the hood of the nearest car. I’m fighting the pain as hard as I can, but it’s not making things go any faster.

  “You’re such a bitch!” I hear Teagan snap. “All I was trying to do was talk to you!”

  If I could roll my eyes I would. Who had their hands all over who?

  Temporarily distracted by Teagan’s rant, I find that the pressure behind my eyes lessens and the memories start to fly. Despite the chaos that surrounds me, I have a brilliant idea. I’ve been fighting the pain. What if I willingly accept it? Take my focus off it? Maybe things will go quickly. I try to relax and open my mind despite Teagan’s whimpering and how much my head hurts.

  “Are you just going to stand there?” she demands.

  I want to tell her to fuck off, but I focus on breathing instead. To my amazement, the memories feel like they’re falling into place, like they’re physically filling the holes they left behind. It’s as if they’re being vacuumed into my brain and the pain lessens as they find their place. Within minutes it’s over.

  I open my eyes and blink rapidly. I did it. I have my memory back.

  And a different pain surrounds my heart.

  T
hree hours later another doctor comes in to review Teagan’s x-rays. I stare at the wall from an uncomfortable plastic chair as his words mirror the first two physicians statements. She won’t need surgery because they were able to realign the breaks, but she will have a swollen face and some serious black eyes for a while.

  That’s right, I said breaks. I broke her nose in two places.

  No words have passed between us since we left the parking lot. I believe the last two sentences uttered were mine, “Get in the car!” and hers, “I’m pressing charges!” I know she’s a witch and she deserved what she got, but I do feel bad about what I’ve done. That’s why I haven’t left. I need to make sure she’s okay and give my statement to the police when she calls them. I hope she does it soon because I really do need to go. My recovered past keeps surfacing in waves, and I have to consciously push it back. Every time a memory plays, my throat tries to close and my eyes prick with tears. I can’t break down in the hospital; I just can’t. I need a private place to let out an ugly cry.

  As the doctor reviews the discharge papers with Teagan and demonstrates how to replace the gauze packed in her nose, my phone rings. I pull it from my coat pocket and answer Dane. “Hey.”

  “Hey! Listen, my interview ran long and I’ll probably get stuck in rush hour traffic. I don’t want you to worry when I’m late.”

  His words resurrect the anxiety I felt in St. Thomas when he returned late from planning our fishing trip. He wants to make sure that doesn’t happen again. Before I can respond, the doctor attending Teagan is paged over the loud speaker.

  “Where are you?” Dane asks.

  “In the ER.”

  “ER? As in emergency room?” Dane’s voice raises an octave. “What happened? Why didn’t you call?”

  “Because I’m fine,” I say. “I’m not the one who’s hurt.”

  “Who is?”

  I close my eyes and wince. “Teagan. I kind of punched her in the face.”

  “You what?” I can hear the shock in Dane’s voice. “Why? How bad is it?”

  I open one eye. “Bad. I broke her nose…in two places.”

  The line goes silent, and I glance at Teagan. She’s watching me intently from her sterile bed.

  “Don’t move,” Dane growls. “I’m coming to get you. Which hospital are you at?”

  My stomach drops. He’s mad. I don’t want to fight in a public place, especially in front of his ex. “You don’t need to come here. Teagan is being released, and I’m only waiting for her to file charges. Then I’ll head home.”

  “She called the police?!” he nearly shouts. “Why is she involving the police?”

  “Because I broke her face.”

  “It was an unprovoked attack I’m sure,” he says sarcastically. “Put her on the phone.”

  “Dane, I…”

  “Put. Her. On. The. Phone,” he demands.

  I turn to Teagan and hold out my cell. “He wants to talk to you.”

  Arrogantly, she holds out her hand and I set my phone in her palm. She raises it to her ear and her demeanor instantly changes. “Bear,” she whimpers, “your girlfriend hit me!”

  I bite my lip and stare at the floor. What could he possibly want to say to her? I know I shouldn’t, but I try to listen. All I can hear is his muffled voice growing louder and louder in between her attempts to explain.

  “No…I…wait...just stop…you don’t…I’m the one who’s bleeding!” That’s all she can get out.

  After a minute or two her shoulders slump. “Fine,” she snaps. She eyes me with disdain and holds out my phone. “Here.”

  I cautiously bring it to my ear. “Hello?”

  “If she even breathes at you wrong call me,” Dane says, adamant. “Promise me you’re still coming over.”

  I’m stunned. What did he say to her?

  “Grace?” he asks, worried. “Promise me you’re still coming over.”

  “I…I promise.”

  “Good. I’ll get there as fast as I can.”

  Does he think I’m hurt or something? “There’s no rush.”

  He chuckles. “I don’t know. Do you think you can keep your hands to yourself, Ali?”

  I roll my eyes. “Yes. I won’t pummel any innocent strangers.”

  He laughs. “Get out of there and away from her, okay? I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

  I swallow at his words. “Love you, too,” I whisper.

  When I turn around I see Teagan pulling her bloodied shirt from the plastic bag the nurse put her belongings in. She reaches for the tie on the back of her hospital gown, but can’t reach it.

  “Do you want some help?” I ask.

  She frowns, but nods.

  I move around the bed and untie the top of the gown. She immediately steps away from me and pushes it to her waist while pulling her shirt over her head.

  “Are you going to press charges?” I ask quietly.

  She shakes her head no, refusing to make eye contact with me. “Didn’t Dane tell you? He doesn’t want me involving the law.”

  I blink. “You’re going to listen to him?”

  She pulls her pants from the bag then shoves the hospital gown to her feet. “I love him. Of course I’m going to listen.”

  Her admission takes me by surprise. I stand there gawking as she pulls on her pants then reaches into the bag and produces my bracelet. She hands it to me without a word. I gingerly hold it between my fingers; it’s encrusted with the blood that was on her hands. I put it in my pocket.

  “I’m sorry I hit you,” I apologize. “It was a reaction; I didn’t mean it.”

  “Yes, you did,” she snaps and tosses her shoes on the floor. She focuses on tying her laces and, when she’s finished, she gives me a hard stare. “Look. We’re not friends.”

  I nod.

  “For whatever reason Dane loves you and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve apologized, I’ve begged, I’ve connived, I’ve lied, I’ve bled,” she emphasizes the word. “And he still chooses you. So, if you don’t mind, I’d like you to get out of my face.”

  I take a step toward the door. “Well, for what it’s worth I really am sorry.”

  “Stop trying to be nice to me!” she spits. “Just go!”

  I leave without saying another word.

  When I reach Dane’s place, I sit in the parking lot and stare at his front door. I remember when he brought me here for the first time, after he rescued me from James’ psychotic mother at the grocery store. We almost kissed that night. I remember when, just hours after James was assigned my Guardian, I came here so Dane could help heal my heart. He took me to the batting cages so I could take out my aggressions, we raced Go Karts, and I challenged him to a game of mini golf. He had no clue what I was going through, but he didn’t ask questions. All he did was unconditionally offer his support.

  I let myself into his place and shut the door behind me. Immediately, I’m confronted with the stairs. Those steps have new meaning now. As I take them one by one, I recall my body wrapped around Dane’s as he carried me. When I reach his room, I run a tentative hand over the bed as I remember what almost happened that night. His patience astounds me.

  Unfortunately, those thoughts lead to memories of betrayal, and I mechanically shrug out of my coat. It lands on the floor and I land on Dane’s bed, curling on my side as tears start to fall. It’s not as ugly of a cry as I had feared, but it’s all consuming nonetheless.

  James. Holy hell. Could he have been a bigger part of my life? Could I have loved him more? Not possible. My love for him was my world; he was my life. And that part of my life is over.

  Years of memories flood my brain. Some make me smile through my tears while others give me pause. But, when the images play of James’ death, of what he looked like when he died, I physically get sick. I pull myself to the edge of the bed and dry heave over the side; thankfully nothing comes out. It’s no wonder the bracelet blocked my Guardian memories. Who would want to remember this? The images The Alleg
iant projected into my brain are horrid; it becomes clear my mind wanted them erased to protect me. To keep me sane. Who would want to remember my behavior at his funeral? Or his mother’s anger? Or our powerless efforts to hang on to something that wasn’t ours to have anymore?

  I right myself and lie on my side again, realizing the memories are playing like I’m watching a movie. It’s like I’m a spectator watching my own life. It gives me a perspective that I never would have had otherwise. I close my eyes, focus on breathing through my stuffed nose, and allow myself to process what my mind is showing me – because it shows me the truth. Despite everything that we did to stay together, we still would have fallen apart. That is how it was supposed to be. Death separated us. It was a fate we couldn’t accept, but one we should have. It would have saved us both unspeakable heartache. The knowledge is heavy, yet liberating at the same time. We’re both where we should be. It just took us a minute to get there.

  Speaking of where I should be, I open my eyes and find the clock. Dane will be home soon, and I’m sure I look like hell. I sit up and scoot off the bed, headed to the one place that always erases the evidence of my sadness – the shower.

  As I leave the bedroom, I almost step on my bracelet; it fell outside my coat pocket. I pick it up and set it on the side table. I’ll wash it in a minute; it needs to be handled delicately. I may need a brush to remove all of Teagan’s residue from the crevices. Gross. I still can’t believe I punched her. A slow, evil smile spreads across my face. Today has been full of liberating moments.

  The hot water and the steam soothe my sore throat and free my sinuses; the heat relaxes my stiff neck and evenly reddens my splotched skin. As I reach for the soap and lather it in my hands, more lost memories return. Will I ever be able to switch them off? Turn them to mute? Over time, I suppose, but I guess not in the hours immediately after retrieving them.

  Visions of the things Dane has done for me and with me bombard my thoughts. They’re good memories. Really good. There are a couple of shady ones too, like when we fought before I left for school and when I found out he was engaged. That one hurts. Another not-so-pleasant one is when I tried to push him away after the hospital charity dinner, but it’s quickly replaced by the discovery that he gave up everything to fly me away to the Caribbean. Then his explanation of why he loves me quickly becomes a favorite. It’s because I accept him for who he is and not who he’s expected to be. Mystery solved.