Dirty Little Lies (Dirty Little #2)

by Cassie Cross

  It’s carefree and tender and slow in a way that sex typically isn’t between us. This is more about just being together than finding a release, although my clit is grinding against him in ways that start making me feel more than a little frantic.

  Ben senses that, and reaches down between us, my orgasm hitting me fast and hard as I hold onto him for dear life, riding out my pleasure. Ben follows, his body stiffening with a long, low groan.

  After, we kiss and hold each other, clinging to the bliss for as long as we can.

  “Are you tired?” Ben asks.

  “Of unpacking? Yes. Of this? No.”

  Ben kisses me, smiling against my list. “Good. We have a lot more area to cover.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  “You can cry if you want to,” Ben says, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear. The teasing lilt in his voice is the only thing that’s keeping the tears from falling. “She’s all grown up and leaving you.”

  Ben is standing behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist, my back pressed against his chest. We’re standing in the corner of Ben and Caleb’s restaurant—which has been closed for the party—celebrating Corinne’s college graduation.

  The place has mostly cleared out. It’s late, and the only people left are the ones nearest and dearest to her, and despite the hour, she’s still gracious, happily accepting congratulations.

  She’s talking to Felicity now, probably finalizing their plans for tomorrow, when Corinne’s leaving to take a job on a completely different continent. Felicity, good friend that she is, is going to go with her for a week or so, just to help her get acclimated to life in London.

  I’m happy for my sister; she wanted that job desperately, but I’m sad at the realization that the two of us won’t be in the same time zone for at least the immediate future, if not forever.

  “I can hear you thinking,” Ben says, giving my hands a squeeze.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Mmm,” he says, his voice all rumbly. “It’s her first job; she probably won’t stay there forever.”

  This is true, and something that I’ve told myself probably a thousand times since she called and gave me the news.

  “I’m happy for her,” I tell Ben. “Just sad for me.”

  “I’ll keep you company.”

  That makes me smile. It’s not the same at all, but…it makes me smile. “I love your company. And I love you.”

  Ben hums happily, and presses a kiss to my temple. “I worked up some proprietary video messaging software and put it on all of your mobile devices. One click and you’ll be able to talk to each other.”

  “How is that different than what we have now?”

  I can feel Ben’s smile against my cheek. “You’ll see.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper.

  “You’re welcome. I’ve got to go talk to Oliver about something, ‘kay?”

  I nod, and give him a kiss. I watch him walk over to Oliver, who’s looking all lovelorn like he usually does in Felicity’s presence. I’m going to have to do something about that.

  “We’re going to have to take care of that,” Mia says.

  “Hey! Take care of what?”

  “That self-deprecating idiot over there who thinks he’s not good enough for Felicity,” Mia says, tilting her champagne flute in Oliver’s direction.

  “We definitely need to help that along.”

  “Great party. Thanks for having me,” Mia says.

  I smile at her. “Of course. You and Caleb are family.”

  Mia beams at that. “Guess you’re going to be making a lot more trips to London now.”

  I nod, laughing. “I guess so. Have you ever been?”

  Mia shakes her head. “Nope. Someday.”

  “We should go together,” I offer. “Or maybe that’s a stop Caleb has planned for your honeymoon.”

  “Maybe,” Mia replies, looking down at the engagement ring on her finger.

  I can’t help but stare at the way the light glints off of the diamond.

  “Speaking of that, I’m going to need some help finding a dress. I hired a planner, but…I don’t know, I feel like finding the dress should be more of a personal thing. I want to go out shopping with friends, and try on some truly hideous dresses before finding ‘the one.’”

  “You know I’m your girl.”

  “Think we could get together soon and see what’s out there?”

  I nod enthusiastically. “Absolutely. I know quite a few places we could go. Both for the ‘truly hideous,’ and for ‘the one.’”

  “Well,” Mia says, taking a sip of her champagne. “It seems like someone’s pretty anxious to talk to you, so…I’ll call you?”

  “Yeah. Looking forward to it,” I say with a smile.

  Not even a second after Mia walks away, Corinne wraps me in the kind of hug that crushes you in the most amazing way.

  “I’m so proud of you,” I tell her, pressing a kiss against her hair.

  “And I’m proud of you, too.”

  “You never let anything stop you from following your dreams, and look where that got you. London. What am I going to do with you in London? The time difference. Ugh.”

  Corinne laughs. “We’ll figure something out. We always do.”

  That’s the truth if I’ve ever heard it.

  “You’re still leaving tomorrow?” I ask, giving her a cartoonish pout.

  “I’ve got to. I only have a week before I start my new job, and I need to get settled into my apartment.”

  “Do you need anything?” I ask. I have my checkbook ready if she needs it, even though she’s already turned down my money once.

  “No, I’m good. Promise.”

  “Ben gave you money, didn’t he?” I ask.

  She smiles sheepishly. “He did. And he refused to let me refuse it. He told me a really lovely story about a similar gift his parents gave him when he graduated, and…”

  “I know,” I say softly, feeling a newfound rush of love for Ben. He’s standing over on the other side of the room, and when he looks at me, I can tell that he knows what Corinne just told me. “I know the story.”

  “So you’re not mad?”

  My eyebrows scrunch together. “No, of course not.”

  “Thank you for the party,” Corinne says, probably desperate to change the subject.

  “You’re welcome. I hope it was everything you wanted.”

  She grins at me, knowing what I’m trying to say without saying it. That I want to know if it was enough, that she’s happy even though our parents weren’t welcome.

  “Everyone that I wanted to be here is here,” she assures me.

  “Good.”

  Ben walks over to us, and he gives Corinne a quick kiss on the cheek. “You had quite the haul, graduate,” he says, nodding toward the table of gifts. “Mostly envelopes, which is the best, right?”

  Corinne giggles, and returns Ben’s high five. “The absolute best.”

  “I’m going to take that stuff out to the car.” He leans in and gives me a soft, chase kiss. “I’ll see you two in a bit.”

  As Ben walks away, Corinne is grinning bright as the sun.

  “What?” I ask.

  She shrugs. “Never thought I’d see that again. It’s nice, seeing you this happy.”

  I don’t even know if happy is the right word to describe what I am.

  “C’mon,” I say hooking my arm through hers. “I have a bunch of your favorite movies at home, and your favorite snacks. We’re going to have one last slumber party.”

  Corinne groans, but it’s good natured. “I have to be up at five to get to the airport on time.”

  “Well,” I say lightly. “I can definitely make sure you stay up until then.”

  Corinne glares at me.

  “You have time to sleep on the plane, but not a lot of time left to spend with your sister. Say goodbye to your guests so you can go to your next party.”

  Corinne gives me an indulgent smile. “Okay.�
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  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “How dirty do you think that water is?” I ask. “I mean, there’s dirt dirty, and then there’s biologically hazardous dirty, you know? I can’t figure out which one we’re dealing with here.”

  Ben closes his eyes with a long, tortured sigh. “That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”

  I can see how that would be distressing, given the whole romantic atmosphere he seems to be setting with this late afternoon date of sorts.

  “There was a train of thought that led me to this station, no worries.”

  Ben squeezes my shoulder as we walk across Bow Bridge, pulling me closer against his side. This part of Central Park is blessedly uncrowded considering how beautiful the day turned out to be.

  “Why don’t you take me for a ride on that train?”

  “Well,” I say, sliding my arm across his back to wrap around his waist, “I was thinking about what a nice walk this is, and how much I love this part of the park.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” He kisses the top of my head.

  “And I know how much you love this bridge, and I was thinking about how nice it would be if you kissed me right over there.” I point to a place about ten feet away, where the bridge starts curving down. It’s as romantic a spot as it can be in a public place like this, with the backdrop of the bright green trees and the flowers. It sets a mood.

  “That sounds nice. I’m really concerned about how you got from kissing to toxic water, though.”

  “Well, I’m trying to explain that.”

  Ben smiles. “Go on.”

  “You know how sometimes you like to lean in? Press your body all up against mine so there isn’t any space between us?”

  “You like it when I do that,” he reminds me.

  “Mmm. Very much.”

  “Okay, so…”

  “So, I was thinking about what would happen if you kissed me, and leaned in, and maybe I lost my balance and toppled into the water. I would pull you in with me, of course.”

  Ben laughs. “So, you pictured me kissing you, but not doing it correctly. That’s not really making me feel any better here.”

  “No!” I cry quickly, worried about the directions his thoughts would take. “It was more of a worst-case scenario kind of thing. Like one of those domino trails that people set up and then knock down, but with thoughts instead of dominoes. You always kiss me correctly. I was basically considering what it would be like if we were living in a rom-com.”

  “You think this is rom-com-y?”

  I shrug. “Well, a little. In the best way. It’s the kind of perfect date that you dream about, but that rarely happens, you know?”

  “I’m glad you think this is perfect. I was hoping you would.”

  I’ve been running my mouth so much that I didn’t even notice Ben walking us over toward the railing, and pressing my back against it. Wow, it’s way too sturdy for me to ever topple over, and I’m nowhere near tall enough.

  Still, he’s going to kiss me, and I’m not going to complain about that.

  I clap my hand against the cement railing, before wrapping both of my arms around his waist, pulling him close so tightly that I think maybe it might be difficult for him to breathe. If it is, he doesn’t say anything.

  “Wow, you’re good.”

  “Yeah?”

  He’s leaning, and… “Yeah. Really good.”

  “I can be better.” His lips are so close that I can feel his words.

  I grip the fabric of his shirt between my fingers and give it a little pull, until Ben is kissing me senseless.

  “How’s that?”

  “It’s better than finding out how dirty that water is, that’s for sure.”

  Ben leans in and kisses me again, and I chase his lips with mine when he pulls away, not wanting any of this to end.

  “Why are we stopping?” I pout.

  “We’ve got another stop to make.” He reaches out and takes my hand, sliding his fingers in between mine.

  “We do?”

  “Yep.” He looks down at his watch. “And we’re cutting it close, so come on.”

  “Where are we going?”

  Ben winks at me. “It’s a surprise.”

  * * *

  Even though Ben has his driver let us out of the limo about a block too early, I know where we’re going even before we get there. Ben knows that I know, there’s no way that he doesn’t. But I don’t say anything, just let him hold my hand and lead me through the crowd of people flooding the sidewalks.

  His thumb runs back and forth over my knuckles, and it’s a warm, calming thing. My heart is going a mile a minute, but it’s not nerves, it’s anticipation. I hadn’t really caught on when he suggested that we have a late lunch in the park, and then took me for a walk across Bow Bridge. It wasn’t until he suggested that there was another stop to make that I realized he was recreating our first date.

  I am completely, without a doubt, one-hundred-percent certain: Ben is going to ask me to marry him.

  I am completely, without a doubt, one-hundred percent certain: I am going to say yes.

  It’s actually difficult for me not to tug on his hand, stop him in the middle of the crowd, throw my arms around him and whisper “yes” against his lips until the two of us are laughing in each other’s arms.

  When I was growing up, I always wondered how people knew when they were ready to commit their whole life to another person. It seemed so big, so momentous, so scary.

  Now, I understand.

  The building blocks of a relationship foundation come together before you even realize that they’re forming anything at all. It’s in the way he remembers that I was scared of stuffed animals when I was little, and the way I remember that his first word was “foot.”

  It’s in the way he knows that pressing his hand against the small of my back will relieve all the tension coiled up in my muscles after a long, stressful day at work. It’s in the way I can tell that he’s feeling a little melancholy about the past when he disappears out onto the balcony early Sunday mornings. It’s the way I know that a soft kiss and a whispered “I love you” will drag him out of it.

  We know we’re ready because of the tiny things, the little bits of knowledge that we gradually stack into a forever. When you look at what you’ve built together, you think, “This is where I belong.”

  I belong with Ben. I want to share my home and my life with him. I want to have children with him, and learn from our parents’ mistakes. I want a little piece of him and me to go out into the world and raise all kinds of hell.

  So when the scaffolding on the outside of the Murphy Building comes into view, I’m ready to jump out of my skin. When we finally walk up the steps onto the promenade in front of the building and clear the traffic on the sidewalk, Ben slows his stride and looks over at me.

  He’s wearing this soft smile, and his eyes are bright and happy. I’m pretty sure I’m looking at him the same way. He knows that I know what’s going on, but he doesn’t try to rush or get on with it.

  He takes his time, pulling my hand up to his lips and pressing a kiss on the back of it.

  “C’mon,” he says, walking over toward the street musician who has his violin cradled between his shoulder and chin.

  “Is that the same guy?”

  Ben laughs, and shakes his head. “I’m good, but I’m not that good.”

  “Yeah,” I say, squeezing his fingers. “You’re good.”

  The two of us stand together, looking up at the building that brought us together twice now. I haven’t been on the restoration board for nearly a year, but one of the remaining members is nice enough to forward me updates. The project is moving along quickly, and they’re expecting to have the project finished by the spring.

  “They’re repairing the cracks,” Ben says, his gaze switching from the building over to me.

  “Just like we did,” I say.

  Ben smiles, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. “Y
eah, just like we did.”

  “You went pretty far for this metaphor,” I tease.

  He presses his lips together, and looks down at the ground. “I suppose I did. It’s okay to do that on a special occasion.”

  A rush of heat floods through my body, and every single nerve in my body is buzzing. I don’t know how I’m not vibrating with it, honestly.

  “This is a special occasion?”

  He gives me this look of affectionate exasperation.

  “You know it is.”

  I do know that.

  “Dance with me?” He takes a step back, our arms stretched out between us, our fingers knit together. He looks just like he did that first night. We’re standing the same way, too.

  I bite my lip and nod. “Okay.”

  His grin lights up his face, and the music starts playing as he holds me close. I rest my head on his chest, and I think it’s probably the safest and happiest I’ve felt in a long time.

  We move slowly to the rhythm of the song, which of course is the same one that was playing that day. I wonder if Ben found out the name of it, or if he hummed a few bars of it to this guy, and he just happened to know the song Ben wanted him to play.

  I suppose that doesn’t matter. I stop wondering when I feel Ben’s lips brush my forehead, anyway.

  “Your hair was up in a ponytail,” he says, his voice low, loud enough so that only I can hear him. “You were wearing a purple sweater over a white shirt, because you had spilled coffee that morning and didn’t want anyone to see it.”

  I let out a surprised laugh. How did he remember that?

  “I saw you standing on a stool in the Philosophy section, stretching up to reach a high shelf, and I completely forgot what I was looking for the second I laid eyes on you.”

  I feel tears prick at the back of my eyes, and I cling to him tightly, never wanting this to end, never wanting to let go.

  “I reached up and pulled the book down for you, and you said, ‘I don’t know why I’m gonna bother reading this anyway, it’s probably bullshit.’”