Lifelong Affair

by Carole Mortimer

  She heard the Mercedes in the driveway mid-afternoon, and looked down from her bedroom to see Alex swinging agilely out from behind the wheel of the car, dark and forceful in a navy blue suit, the grey in his hair more noticeable as the light breeze ruffled it into disorder.

  For a disconcerting moment she felt an urge to run down to him and throw herself in his arms! But she didn't. She heard his mother greet him and then thesound of a door slamming. He must know she was here, and yet he had made no effort to see her! Had he changed his mind about wanting to marry her after all?

  She turned sharply as a knock sounded lightly on her bedroom door, and called out for the person to come in. Her breath caught in her throat as Alex came into the room; the person slamming the door must have been his mother.

  'I—How are you?' Morgan suddenly felt shy— which was ridiculous for a twenty-six-year-old woman! None of her friends in Los Angeles would believe how Alex affected her, how just to look at him made her knees weak.

  'I'm fine.' He came in and closed the door, feeling no awkwardness himself. 'You've seen Courtney?'

  'I've spent the morning with him,' she nodded.

  'Evading my mother,' he derided.

  'Partly,' she admitted, tall and elegant in a navy blue blouse and white skirt. 'But mainly because I just wanted to be with him.'

  Alex nodded. 'I'm sorry I didn't get back last night. I had an important meeting that went on until after twelve, and when I telephoned the house Svmonds said you'd been in bed for two hours. I decided it would be simpler to drive down today.'

  'Of course.' She evaded his gaze.

  Grey eyes narrowed. 'You were told I was delayed, weren't you?'

  'I'm afraid I fell asleep last night, as Symonds told you. Your mother told me this morning that you hadn't come back yet.'

  'Then--- ' he broke off, heaving a deep sigh. 'Let's

  forget about that. Shall we talk now or later?'

  The directness of his question unnerved her, all her carefully rehearsed speeches were forgotten. 'Er— later, I think,' she heard herself say. 'I'm sure you'd much rather freshen up now.'

  He ran a hand around the back of his tire nape 'I would,' he agreed wearily. 'I had a rough time last night.'

  I'm sure,' she agreed tightly.

  Alex nodded. 'I never sleep well in hotels.'

  Hotel-—?' she frowned. 'You stayed in a hotel last night?' Somehow she hadn't been expecting that, bad thought he would stay at the woman's home, Unless . ..? Goodness, she had been taken in by Rita Hammond so easily!

  'Mm,' Alex grimaced. 'And didn't get to bed until almost two o'clock. I'm having trouble with one of my companies up north. The union had the impression— But you don't want to hear this, he shook his head ruefully.

  After the fool she had almost made of herself Morgan was very curious to know the real reason for his delay in London. 'But I do,' she prompted eagerly. 'Please—tell me about it.

  He shrugged. 'My work-force up there were just a little concerned I might be closing the company down. And when the unions get hold of something like that they don't want to let go. I had to drive up there this morning and reassure them in person. Damned

  nonsense!'

  'And I thought—Never mind what I thought, she dismissed hastily as she saw his eyes narrow. 'We can talk whenever you want to,' she added brightly.

  Later will be fine,' he told her absently, his expression tight. 'Just where did you think I was last night?'

  'In London, of course,' she replied awkwardly. His eyes became flinty now. 'But not alone, hmm?' She chewed on her bottom lip. 'No,' she admitted abruptly.

  Alex's head went back arrogantly. 'If I d spent the night in London with a woman I would have made nosecret of it. I don't happen to have a mistress in London. I don't have a mistress anywhere,' he added derisively.

  Morgan's fingers were laced tightly together. 'I'm sorry,' she mumbled.

  'Would you like a list of the relationships I've had for the last five years?' he rasped.

  He was really angry, and she couldn't exactly blame him. "I said was sorry, Alex,' she pleaded. 'It's just that Symonds said you were coming back last night.' She didn't want to involve his mother in this.

  'I was delayed—I've just explained that,' he bit out.

  Morgan swallowed hard, realising how ridiculous this conversation was even if he didn't. "You don't have to explain anything to me, Alex. I made an assumption,' with a lot of help from Rita Hammond! 'and I've apologised for it. I wish we could just drop the subject now.' She had no intention of telling him of his mother's deliberate lie; she knew she should have had more sense than to listen to the other woman. Because she did believe Alex, knew he wasn't a man who lied. Rita Hammond would feel no such compunction.

  'Then we will,' he agreed curtly. Til just go and see Courtney and then take a shower. We'll talk in my study after dinner.'

  Her cheeks coloured fiery red as she remembered what had happened the last time they went to the study to talk. Alex's mocking glance jtold her he remembered it too.

  She chastised herself once he had gone to his own room. What a fool she had been to listen to his mother! And how gullibly she had behaved. If Rita Hammond had chipped away at Glenna and Mark's marriage in the same way no wonder they had run into difficulty; Mark's defence of his mother had been much stronger than Alex's.

  She was polite but cool with the other woman as they all dined together that evening. She knew by the triumphant glitter in icy blue eyes that Rita Hammond considered she had scored a minor victory this morning by planting those seeds of doubt in Morgan's mind. And maybe she had, but in future Morgan would know to be more wary of the woman.

  Morgan could see the other woman's curiosity was aroused as she and Alex once more retired to his study, but neither of them offered an explanation for going.

  Alex seated himself behind the desk this time, at once putting them on a businesslike footing. His gaze was intent on her composed features. 'Did you come to a decision while you were away?'

  This time she was ready for his directness, and she answered calmly. 'Yes, did.'

  Something flickered in his eyes and then faded. He sighed. 'I can understand your saying no, you don't even know me, and it would be a lifetime commitment to a stranger.' He stood up to pace the room. 'A life without love and---'

  'I'm not going to say no, Alex,' she put in softly.

  He turned to face her sharply, his eyes narrowing. 'You aren't?'

  'No.'

  'Why not?'

  She gave a mocking smile at his surprise. 'I must say you aren't being very flattering when I've just accepted your proposal of marriage,' she taunted.

  He ran a hand through the thick darkness of his hair. 'It's unexpected '

  'Don't you want me to marry you?

  'Of course,' he said stiffly.

  "Don't you consider yourself eligible?' she mocked.

  'I've never thought about it!'

  'Then you should. I accept your proposal, Alex. I'll marry you.' She was coolly composed.He blinked. 'When?'

  She shrugged. 'As soon as my work in America has finished, I suppose.'

  'Very well,' he moved to sit behind the desk once

  more, 'I'll make all the arrangements '

  I haven't finished yet, Alex,' she interrupted softly. 'I'll accept your proposal with certain changes made in the agreement.'

  'Yes?' He was wary now.

  Morgan laughed softly and stood up, very slender in a dark bottle-green dress that made her hair look like a flame, her eyes deeper in the reflected colour. 'Don't look so worried, Alex,' she taunted. 'I'm not going to ask you to sign over the family fortune to me.'

  'Mary-Beth would,' he derided.

  Her mouth twisted. lf Mary-Beth threatened you I have a feeling she'd come to a nasty end,' she grimaced. 'My first change is that I won't be in Power Trap after this season. I've asked to be written out of it, and the producers have agreed.'

  'You're giving up your career
?' he frowned.

  'Yes,' she nodded. 'For now, at least. Courtney needs a full-time mother, not a part-time one. That's another change I would like to make.' She looked at him challengingly.

  Alex sat back in his chair with a look of resigned expectation. 'Yes?' he prompted.

  'I want to take care of the baby myself, no nanny. Yes, Alex,' she insisted as he went to protest. 'Mrs Ford will be leaving soon, and I do know how to look after Courtney.'

  'I don't doubt it,' he said gently. 'It's just that caring for a baby is a big responsibility, a twenty-four hour a day job.'

  'One I shall love. I'll make a deal with you, Alex,' she told him. 'If after a month you don't think I can cope you can get him a nanny. How's that?'

  He sighed. 'By the confidence in your voice I would say it's a one-sided deal. Okay,' he gave a rueful shrug, 'if that's what you really want.'

  'It is,' she nodded. 'Now I come to the last change I want to make.'

  'There's more?' he groaned.

  She swallowed hard. 'Yes. I—This part could be a little embarrassing,' she chewed on her bottom lip.

  His icy gaze searched her face, his mouth tightening. 'I understand," he bit out abruptly. 'You

  would rather we didn't have a physical relationship,' he sighed. 'I'm a little skeptical that a marriage can work without it, but I------ '

  'Alex, you have it all wrong again,' she told him impatiently. 'Stop jumping to conclusions.

  'Sorry!'

  She smiled at his sarcasm. 'I'm arguing with you again, aren't I?'

  'Yes,' he sighed.

  ' don't mean to. I just want you to listen to me.' She straightened her shoulders. 'I want you, Alex. I want you very badly.' She saw the ruddy hue colour his cheeks. 'I've thought of nothing else but you since I went away. I want to be your wife, Alex, but not as a part-time lover. I want to share a bedroom with you, not have to make a trip across a corridor or through a connecting door.' She gave a half smile. 'If I did that every time I wanted to spend the night with you the carpet between our two rooms would be worn away!' she attempted to joke.

  He cleared his throat, obviously unnerved by her bluntness. 'I—You '

  She gave a self-derisive laugh. 'Now I've embarrassed you. And I didn't mean to, she sighed. 'But I've never felt this way before, never wanted a man the way I want you. I wanted to be honest about the attraction, that's all.'

  'I'm not embarrassed,' he dismissed. 'A little surprised perhaps, but not really embarrassed. Did you see Sam while you were away?'

  She frowned at the unexpectedness of the question. 'Yes . ..'

  'And that didn't change the desire you feel for me?'

  'No,' she answered instantly.

  He turned away, staring down into the fireplace. 'If we're dealing in honesty I think I should tell you I feel that electricity between us too. I've tried to push it to the back of my mind the last few days, but I haven't been able to forget the feel or taste of you. What I'm trying to say is that I share your need, that I'd like to protect the carpet at all costs,' he made an attempt to lighten the tension that suddenly filled the room. But it didn't work, the electricity sparking a fire between them. 'Morgan . . .!' he groaned.

  She went into his arms willingly, meeting the hunger in him with one of her own, kissing and touching him as fiercely as he touched her.

  'Will you come to my room with me now?' he groaned raggedly. 'I need you!'

  She wanted to—she could imagine nothing more ecstatic than spending the night in his arms, in his bed. And yet she held back from that final commitment, wanting her wedding night to be the first time she knew his full possession.

  'No?' He sensed her reserve, and pulled back, the flush of passion to his cheeks. 'Are you just like all women after all, I wonder? he rasped. 'You admitted wanting me, but that admission drew one from me in return,' his mouth twisted. Til never be controlled by the use of a physical attraction, Morgan,' he snapped, pushing her fully away from him. 'No woman's body is worth losing even one ounce of self-respect or self-control.'

  He spoke with an inner bitterness that caused

  Morgan pain—because he spoke from personal experience! Now she knew the reason for his aloofness, his solitariness. There had once been a woman in his life, a woman he loved, who had used her body to blackmail him in the relationship. Only rime would show him that she wasn't like that, that she was as weakened by wanting him as he would be in wanting her.

  'I accept all your conditions, Morgan,' he rasped coldly, distant from her now. 'I'll inform my mother of our marriage in the morning-'

  At least she would be spared the other woman's wrath for one more night. But what about Alex's

  coldness? She put out a hand to him. 'Alex '

  He evaded that hand without being too pointed about it. 'I have some work to do now,' he dismissed abruptly.

  She nodded. 'I shall be free of all commitments in

  America in two weeks' time. I '

  'Does that include Sam?' His eyes were glacial. 'Of course,' she flashed. 'I intend being a faithful wife, Alex. You may do what you please.'

  His hand was painful on her arm as he swung her round roughly to face him. 'I shall be faithful to you for as long as it takes for you to tire of being a wife and mother and look for other amusements,' he ground out fiercely.

  Morgan's head was back proudly. 'I don't envisage that ever happening,' she bit out tautly.

  His mouth twisted derisively before he released her. 'We shall see.'

  'I'm sure we shall,' she nodded. Til leave you now if you want to work. I leave tomorrow evening, by the way. I'm afraid your mother is going to be disappointed when she knows I'm coming back—to stay this time,' she mocked. 'I would say the likelihood of my mother having

  hysterics when I tell her we intend marrying is about a hundred per cent,' Alex drawled.

  'You don't sound concerned.'

  His expression was arrogant. 'My choice of bride is no one's affair but my own.'

  'But you know I'm the last choice she would make for you!'

  'I'm way beyond asking my mother's permission for anything I do," he snapped. 'She may say what she likes, do what she likes, but I intend marrying you in two weeks' time.'

  'As soon as I get back?' Morgan gasped.

  He raised dark brows. 'Is there any reason for us to wait longer than that?'

  'None at all,' she replied tautiy. 'My father still isn't well enough to travel, no matter when we marry.'

  'We could be married from your home if you would prefer.'

  She frowned. 'You would do that?

  'If it's what you want,' he nodded.

  'But Courtney- '

  'Is not coming on our honeymoon with us,' he dismissed hardly. 'Mrs Ford can stay on and take care of him until we get back.'

  'We're going on a honeymoon?

  'I believe it's traditional,' he taunted. 'I thought Barbados for a couple of weeks. We could visit your parents on our way there if you would prefer that.'

  Rita Hammond was going to have enough reason to dislike her without denying the woman the opportunity to have her eldest son married in England. 'I think that's a better idea, she agreed.

  'Very well,' he nodded distantly, dismissively.

  The coldness of his expression wasn't very encouraging, but Morgan remained undeterred, reaching up on tiptoe to kiss him lingeringly on the lips. 'Goodnight, Alex,' she murmured throatily. 'I will make you happy,' she vowed.

  He made no reply, but went to sit behind his desk, taking some papers out of his briefcase, concluding the conversation.

  Morgan went slowly up to her room. The woman in Alex's past had hurt him very badly, had used the attraction he felt for her as a weapon against him. She couldn't envisage what sort of woman could do that to a man. She had been brought up in an openly affectionate environment, had always been honest in her relationships with men, and she couldn't imagine any woman being so devious as to use her body to flaunt a man's weakness at him.

 
But Alex had been badly scarred by such a woman in the past, had a distrust of giving even body attraction freely. It complicated their relationship to such an extreme that she wondered what chance their marriage would have. While she had been in America she had decided that even though they didn't have love, a warm and giving physical relationship would make them a good marriage. But although Alex might give the pleasure he had no intention of giving the warmth.

  But it was done now, her word was given. And maybe in twenty years time, when she still melted bonelessly at his touch and asked nothing he didn't want to give, he would come to believe it was him and him alone that she wanted.

  Morgan wasn't even out of bed the next morning when Rita Hammond burst into her bedroom unannounced. The maid had brought in her coffee a few minutes earlier, but one look at Rita Hammond's face told her she would be wiser to put the cup down out of harm's way; she was likely to get the contents tipped all over her if the hatred in the other woman's face was given full vent! She certainly didn't need to be told that Alex had told his mother they were getting married!

  'So you're more devious than I would give you credit for!' the other woman attacked viciously.

  Morgan swung her legs out of bed to stand up, feeling at too much of a disadvantage sitting in bed. Her white nightgown flowed silkily about her slender ankles. 'I gather you aren't pleased about the wedding?' she derided.

  'Pleased! It's obvious it's only for Courtney's sake

  my son has been stupid enough to take to heart the suggestion of the press that the two of you marry for

  the baby's sake. Well, I '

  'Nothing about Alex is stupid, Mrs Hammond,' she snapped. 'And I intend making a success of the marriage, no matter whose suggestion it was initially.'

  'You don't love my son- '

  'I care for him, which is just as important.' Morgan's eyes blazed. 'Alex is a fine man, I'll be proud to be his wife.' 'Over my dead body!' Her mouth twisted. 'If necessary,' she drawled. -