All I'll Ever Ask (The Greatest Love Book 1)
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Downtown Trauma Center
Benjamin George Adams
Benjamin and Paige now sat in the waiting room for the second hour of Camille’s surgery. The seizure had been caused by a blood clot on the brain. The operation was the only course of treatment to prevent permanent bleeding of the brain, additional clots, and ultimately brain damage. Benjamin and Paige had been to the chapel and prayed, now they waited. Ben’s mind went back to a similar scene eighteen months earlier, just a couple of floors below in the Emergency Room.
18 months earlier
Downtown Trauma Center
Benjamin George Adams (death of Lauren)
Benjamin stood with his mom, Ellen and Lauren’s mom, Carol, as they heard the somber news regarding his girlfriend of seven years. The doctor was explaining how Lauren had a heart attack due to high cholesterol and undetected diabetes. Before medical personnel could access Lauren she was gone. Ben could only hear his mom and Carol’s wails of grief and sorrow as his very own blood ran cold. Benjamin could only think of the time he had wasted. He loved Lauren, but his focus was on his career and not being rushed by anyone’s timetable. Ben thought they had plenty of time to marry and start a family and he would not be rushed. Now Lauren was gone and suddenly life had new meaning. Suddenly, he realized what he let slip away. He now understood time was precious but not promised.
Benjamin spent the next several months helping Lauren’s parents with her final affairs and settling a lawsuit against the hospital for negligence in the respondent’s care to Lauren. The income helped Lauren’s family but no amount of money could fill the void in their lives. Benjamin grew tired of going through the motions and after the 1-year anniversary of Lauren’s death he decided it was time to move from grieving to living life again. However, that was easier said than done. While dating, Benjamin found himself with one gold digger after another. What shocked him the most was that successful women were looking for men to retire them after a few dates. He did not realize that at a certain age, some women wanted to stop working and be pampered. He did not mind doing that for the “Mrs. Right Adams.” She had to at least offer to give him one child. That was Ben’s desire and prayer now, to be given a second chance at love, family, and marriage. This time he would do it the right, and God’s way. Lauren was on birth control pills because Ben did not want to practice abstinence, so he demanded she take them. He held tremendous guilt over forcing her to wait for marriage, but not the ultimate act designed for a couple joined in matrimony. To further the insult, he wanted to wait on children when Lauren would have had them willingly, without marriage but Ben selfishly denied her of that as well. For over a year guilt consumed his every waking moment. He did not consider dating. He stayed close to his mother and Mrs. Carol as they grieved together. After a year of living in the shadows of the past, Benjamin enrolled in grief counseling at Liberty church and began the process of healing.
Benjamin recalled how on last night, he committed to putting the hurt and pain behind him. He was sulking at home alone, while nursing the one drink he had that evening. He declared within himself that he deserved love and this time he wanted it all. John Legend’s song came to his mind as he set in his home office. Ben sang the lyrics to himself: This time I want it all… Last time I didn't know… I messed up and let you go…this time I want it all…this time I want it all.
The ringing of his home phone, stopped Ben from singing. It was Kevin inviting him to see a stage play at the Theater. Kevin said he had the perfect young woman to rescue him from his gold digging dating, downward spiral. Ben chuckled at how accurate that assessment was. After Kevin told him a little about Camille, Ben agreed immediately and disconnected from the call. He anxiously dressed to go on the blind date, hoping it would be the start of something meaningful. He had been honest when he told Camille he went to bed with a broken heart. Kevin had often spoke highly of Camille. She seemed to have been a true friend to Paige. Their conversations over the last week had been the best of his dating life. Camille seemed to be every woman and he was ecstatic about seeing her. While standing in front of the theater with Kevin and Paige, Ben looked to his right as Kevin nudged his side and pointed to the parking lot across the street from where they stood. Ben focused his gaze on a crimson colored SUV, then saw an angel step out of it. Camille was beautiful, she looked Native American. From a distance she had an innocent, simple elegant style, which was one to behold. She wore a black dress. Her light caramel legs were firm and toned. Her shoes were high heeled. He took a deep breath and walked to meet her as she crossed the street, only a Ford Expedition beat him to it.
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Present -Trauma Medical Center
Benjamin let go of a deep exhale. Paige adjusted in her seat to face him and took his hands in hers. “Ben, Camille is going to come through this.” Benjamin squeezed her hands and nodded in agreement.
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Across Town - Frankie Jones
Frankie Jones threw the pillow off his head and tossed the covers off his body. Rubbing his hand down his face, he looked at the clock on his nightstand that read one-fifteen. He had sleep the entire morning. He let out a deep groan and got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, he sighed as he recalled how he lost control last night. He had gone out for an early dinner with friends and had too much to drink. It had been months since he hung out with the guys and three years since he fell off the wagon. With disappointment, he dropped his head, as he could not remember anything after his fifth shot of whiskey. He only accepted the invitation because, Brian Andrews, a friend from undergrad was getting married in three weeks. Frankie knew better than to tempt fate by attending a bachelor’s party. Frankie thought he would be fine. He knew he had today off from his postal carrier route to sleep in and recover, if the night ended late. What was the harm in attending? What’s done is done he thought to himself as he began to recite the serenity prayer.
God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, And the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time. Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it,
Trusting that you will make all things right, if I surrender to your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with you forever in the next. Amen.
Frankie turned on the shower and got in, knowing an AA meeting was first on his agenda this afternoon.
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Downtown Trauma Center - Camille James
Camille eyes widened and then she suddenly closed them as it felt like the top of her skull was being pulled from her neck. She took her right bandaged hand and went to massage her head and bolted upright in the bed. “WHERE IS MY HAIR?” Camille screamed as loudly as possible but it only came out as a whisper. The machine monitoring her heart rate and blood pressure was beeping loud enough to make Camille start banging on the buttons, causing pain to shoot up her arm. A nurse came in and explained she was in recovery from brain surgery and must calm down. The nurse turned off the monitor alarms and helped Camille inhale and exhale to slow her heart rate down.
Camille, with tears streaming down her face, motioned to the part of her head that was missing hair. The nurse calmly explained the right side was shaven in order for the doctor to remove the life threating blood clots. Camille could not believe her ears. She searched her mind to recall what in the world had happened to cause her to need brain surgery.
After long minutes of thinking, she felt like she was running through a maze of memories that were not her own. Camille remembered heading downtown to the play, parking, seeing Paige, Kevin and Benjamin walking toward her. The SUV. The hospital. What she thought was an earthquake and now opening her eyes with breath in her body. Camille inwardly gave thanks to God for keeping her and protecting her. Camil
le repented for caring about missing hair when the Lord had spared her life. Camille with endless tears, and a grateful heart, asked the Lord for forgiveness for her sins. She acknowledged Jesus was the Son of God, who died and now was the Risen Savior. Camille welcomed the Lord into heart and thanked him for saving her soul.
When the nurse came back into the room, she was shocked at the change of the atmosphere in the room, there was now a sense of peace. The patient had gone from throwing a tantrum about her half shaven head, to looking like an angel at peace. The nurse looked down at the sedative in her hand and put it back onto her tray and headed out of the room to allow Camille to rest. The nurse suddenly smiled, knowing the presence of the Holy Spirit was in the room. She gave a silent thanks to the Master and knew this child of God, would be made whole.
Chapter 2: Destiny or Rebound
Downtown Trauma Center
Benjamin George Adams
Benjamin, a newcomer in Camille’s life, waited with her friends while she was transferred from recovery to her room. Paige and Karen had filled the room with balloons. Her clients and employees of ITS sent flowers and edible fruit arrangements. The entire nursing staff had come into the room, to see the suite that had been decorated for royalty. Ben held his breath with anticipation as the doors opened and stood to his feet, as Camille was wheeled in. Karen and Paige rushed to her, each taking over at one side as the nurses stepped in to assist.
Ben noticed Camille looked drowsy from the drugs and he could not miss the bandage on her head. However, none of it subtracted from her beauty. Even in her fragile state, she was stunning. Ben jolted in Camille’s direction when he heard her slowly attempting to say his name. It came out as a slur, “BEN-JAM-EN.” Ben approached her bed and gently took over propping Camille’s head up on the pillows and operating the head portion of the bed, as the nurse was instructing. This was to be done to keep the blood flowing properly to Camille’s brain, preventing any clots.
When Camille was properly positioned, she whispered to Benjamin. “Y-you do-do not ha-have to be here.”
Ben gave an alarming smile and leaned in as close as possible to Camille’s face and said firmly. “There. Is. No. Where. Else. I. Would. Rather. Be.”
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Alcoholic Anonymous Meeting – Frankie Jones
Frankie took the stand. At six feet and three inches tall, he had to lean into the microphone to be heard. “Good Afternoon, my name is Frankie Jones and I am an Alcoholic.” He paused for the crowd to say, “Hi Frankie.” Then he continued with his testimony. “My alcoholism caused me to lose my wife of eighteen years and strained my relationship with my twin daughters. They stop speaking to me their senior year in high school. I was in denial and convinced myself they were busy enjoying their final year of school. I had to accept reality the day of their graduation, they refused to allow me to attend the ceremony.” Frankie gripped the side of the podium and glanced down as if he had paper he was reading from, only there was none. He looked back up and began again with tears in his eyes. “I was so proud that morning, so proud and sober.” He said with a chuckle. “To see my girls, Dawn and Autumn, graduating as class valedictorian and salutatorian. Imagine my shock and horror when my ex-wife, their mother Shayla, told me outside the arena, that they did not allot a ticket for me. I knew it was because of all the Hell I had put them through. Nonetheless, I could have fallen through the ground as she spoke to me. But crap, I couldn’t blame Dawn and Autumn for shutting me out, or Shayla for divorcing me. The height of my alcohol abuse and cocaine addiction was during their high school years. When I would drink and use, I would have total black outs with no recollection of what I would have done. My girls and wife, sorry ex-wife, said I never hit them but I would destroy everything in our house. I would wake up some times after binging to find no dining room table, car windows busted out, my girl’s laptops missing or busted up. I was a monster and they shut me out. Because of my reckless choices and behavior, I spent my girl’s graduation day with booze and my best friend, Cocaine. The next day, I woke up beside a young lady who could not have been much older than the twins. Looking at the sleeping, naked frame beside me, I could not remember if her name was Sharon, Karen, or Marion. I had hit rock bottom! I decided then to make a change. I bailed before she woke up. I left her a wham bam, thank your ma’am note and cab fare. I ran for my life out of that motel room, into rehab where I stayed for 3 months.”
“Over the past three years, I have admitted that I am powerless over alcohol. I have accepted I cannot manage my life without a higher power. I have come to believe that there is a power greater than myself. I’ve allowed Him to restore unto me sanity. I made a decision to turn my will and life over to Him, He cares for me. I have searched fearlessly into my own moral inventory. I have repented to God and my family. I have made amends. Today, my daughters are juniors at Spellman College and are on the President’s list. We have a better relationship than before my addiction. Shayla, my ex-wife, is now my best friend. We attend church together every Sunday morning and have lunch afterwards.” Frankie wiped the tears from his face and made eye contact with his group of peers who struggle with his same demons and said, “It is with great remorse that I say…I have been sober for 10 hours. I have fallen but I am standing again. I will continue to fight for my sobriety.”
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One week later - Downtown Trauma Center
Benjamin and Kevin sat in the hospital’s cafeteria over a light lunch. The ladies were helping Camille freshen up, undoubtedly celebrating Camille’s pull through from surgery. Everyone was thankful that after a week, her scans showed no signs of swelling and the spinal x-ray reports returned normal. Although, she had mostly slept the last week, Camille was expected to make a full recovery.
Ben viewed this news, as a true miracle from the Lord. He called his mother Ellen and gave her the victory report and asked her to thank the church’s prayer warriors. Ellen told Ben she would indeed pass the word on, she also hinted that she could not wait to meet this new angel in Ben’s life. At that moment, Ben knew even over the phone, his mom could pick up his connection to Camille. He said his goodbyes and promised to stop by soon to see her.
Ben was face to face with Kevin, who was asking why he felt obligated to be at the hospital every hour on the hour for the last several days. Ben sighed and said, “I don’t know man, it’s like a tether formed between us the week we talked over the phone. We developed a routine. A brief check in every morning and at night we talked for hours. When I saw her get out of her truck that night, I can’t explain it; I just know this is where I need to be.”
Kevin nodded with understanding and said, “I hear you man. I just want to make sure you are not seeing this as some type of second chance at redoing things with Lauren. I don’t want you using this accident with Camille as a substitute for Lauren you know, like a second chance or something. You have to admit with the trauma of it all – it is similar.”
Ben held his hand up stopping Kevin’s vomit of words. “First off, I just told you I can’t explain what I am feeling. I will always regret not making the right decisions with Lauren but she is gone. Camille was stealing pieces of me, from conversations alone. When I saw her last night, she was breathtaking. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Despite her half shaven head and bandaged body, I still want to be near her. I can’t leave her now. When Camille was hit by that car, she was coming to meet me. When I knelt beside her at the scene something just clicked in me. Man, I can’t explain it but I am here and I know this connection I feel, is not me substituting Camille for Lauren.”
Kevin sighed and attempted to speak but his cellphone alerted him of a text.
“Look Ben, this is Paige. Camille’s dad is at the airport and I need to scoop him up. Do you want to ride or stay here?”
Ben opted to stay with Camille. He certainly did not need any more awkward moments with Kevin and he wanted to be alone with Camille. Benjamin knocked on the hospital door lightly and pushed the
door open when he heard a light voice say, “come in.” He walked eagerly into Camille’s room and to her side, bent down and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I am so happy to see you awake. You gave us quite a scare there.
“I’m sorry Ben. You have been so patient. This has been a horrible beginning of a new friendship. Not to mention the worst first date, ever.”
“No such thing. It has been full of adventure, suspense, and is still going strong.”
Camille looked at him with a look of bewilderment and tried to laugh but the throbbing in her head would not allow it.
“Why are you laughing Ms. James?”
“You are corny and quit with the Ms. James.”
“I guess that was lame.” Ben shared in the laugh with Camille.
“Seriously, Ben, thank you for staying and making sure I’m okay. I promise when I am all better, I will give you a call for a redo. You have a life and a career to get back to. I don’t want to keep you any longer.”
Ben looked at Camille with confusion. “Camille, I don’t want to wait for a redo. I want to be here. I want to continue to get to know you without any breaks.”