by Skyla Madi
He looks surprised. The lines on his face are darker than in my dreams; the time he’s spent in prison hasn’t agreed with him. He was never a large man, but being in this place…he’s withered into almost nothing.
“I wanted to see you because you’re my daughter. And yes, maybe I wanted to plead my case…not for forgiveness, but for you to understand this was never my intention.”
“People never intend to hurt other people, Dad.” The words come out of my mouth before I realize it. It doesn’t feel wrong so I don’t correct myself. “You out of all people should understand that.”
Fourteen minutes left.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
The deputy in the corner pretends that he’s not listening, but we both know it’s part of his job. Jake still stands next to me and squeezes my shoulder as Michael narrows his cold eyes at me, waiting for me to explain myself.
“Where’s Sabine?”
A fire rages in my head, and he comes in and out of focus.
“Is she okay? What’s happening to her?” Michael frantically calls out. “Jake, what’s going on?”
Jake sits down next to me and brushes back hair from my face. He places a hand in the air for the deputy to stand down from tending to me. “Do you need to leave?”
“No, we still have twelve minutes.”
His hands find my shoulders, and he massages them to relieve some tension. “The headaches she has, they aren’t normal headaches. They incapacitate her sometimes.”
Michael frowns. “Oh, Lacey—”
“My name is Olivia.” I correct him. “Olivia White.”
“Right.” The shackles on his arms and legs clink together. “If I tell you about your mother, will you promise that you’ll come and visit me again?”
“Just tell her about her mother,” Jake snarls.
My head starts to throb, and it’s only moments from exploding. “I promise.”
Jake looks over at me with worried eyes. “Olivia, you don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. I’ll come back and visit you.” I turn back to Jake and frown. “Twenty minutes isn’t enough to get through want I need to get through.”
Eight minutes left.
“Sabine lives in Maryville, just under an hour north from here. Her name is Sabine Christensen now, and Lacey—sorry, Olivia—don’t be alarmed if you don’t get the answers you’re looking for. Your mother is a very…complicated woman.”
Jake snorts. “Complicated woman? That’s a nice way of saying she’s bat-shit crazy.”
“More like an emotionless robot.”
The deputy from before returns to the open doorway, and it’s our three-minute warning.
“Olivia.” The way Michael says my name sounds like a made-up word. “Don’t forget to come back and visit me. I’ll be here for the next ten years, eight with good behavior. I want to tell you everything, love; I can’t make up for what I’ve done, but I can help you with your memory.”
One minute left.
Michael starts to move his hands toward mine but decides against it. “I love you. You are the most beautiful and perfect daughter a father could ever ask for. I’m sorry you’ve had such a shit life, and even as much as I hate that Jake is here with you, he’s the only one that can take care of you the way you need to be. He’s always been that rock for you no matter how much I tried to stop it.”
“Sounds like a compliment.” Jake’s eyebrows rise.
“Time to go, guys.” The deputy peeks his head inside. “Thirty seconds.”
“I love you, Olivia.” Tears fall down Michael’s cheeks. “Always remember that I love you.”
Jake kisses the side of my head and stands up, walking toward the door to give me ten seconds of privacy.
“I love you too.” I’m surprised the words came from my mouth. “I don’t forgive you, but I don’t hate you, okay?”
He chuckles through his tears. “Okay, love. You let Jake take care of you. That boy loves you more than I’ve ever seen anyone love another person. He’d do anything for you.”
“You have no idea.” I smile. “Take care of yourself, Dad.”
Jake reaches out for my hand and turns back to nod at Michael. There’s a level of peace inside of me that resonates until we go back through security and slip into the backseat of the cab. The headache that pounded against my skull has faded into nothing.
After giving the driver the address of his house, Jake leans back and wraps his arm around me before pulling me into his chest.
“Let’s go home,” I say. “I’m ready to go home.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Carnival
Jake
The woman that flutters around me in our bedroom at the Seattle house is someone I never thought I’d lay eyes on again. Olivia isn’t just the girl I used to love…she’s the woman I can’t fucking live without. We’ve only been back in Seattle a few days—and the first day was a little rocky—but I can’t help thinking that we don’t belong here.
Olivia doesn’t belong here.
I can’t be without her.
Laughing as she takes silly selfies of herself with the new phone I got her, she pulls her body onto mine and sits in my lap in the green, oversized armchair next to the fireplace. My dick gets hard thinking about the night before and the amazing sex we had on this very chair, but I can’t be inside of her every single moment of every single day.
No matter how fucking badly I want to be.
“Smile!” She giggles and presses our cheeks together. We both look into the camera, and I plaster the biggest, warmest smile on my face I can muster. The bullshit with my mother and Olivia’s father is weighing down on me, but I can’t—and won’t—let her see me worry about it. It’s over, but it never really fucking feels like it’s over.
After inspecting the picture and smiling in acceptance, she places the phone down on the table next to us and takes my head into her hands.
“Jake Redding, you need to stop worrying so much.” She crinkles her adorable nose. “Haven’t I told you a hundred times that you have nothing to worry about?”
I sigh and pull her into me, wrapping my arms around her curves. “I don’t want to think about that. Let’s do something fun.” A wicked smile spreads on my face as she swats me away, and we both laugh the biggest, purest laugh we have. “I don’t mean sex, although I’d never turn that down.”
“There’s the city carnival downtown.” She holds up a flyer. “I saw this in the phone store earlier today. Wanna go?”
I make a sour face. “Sorry, baby. Clowns really aren’t my thing.”
Snuggling her body into my lap, she places her head over my heart. “Please? We could be that really cheesy couple that runs around to all the games and you can try to win me the biggest, most ridiculous stuffed animal they have.”
My eyebrows rise. “Are we a couple, then? We haven’t really talked about that.”
Her thighs tighten around my legs, and the only thing I want right now is to thrust upward—
“I thought we were.” She laughs and pushes her lips onto mine. “Let’s not dance around the subject like middle schoolers, okay? I want to exclusively be with you.” She playfully gags and kisses my cheek.
I play with her silky, dark brown hair between my fingers. “Okay, then, we won’t dance around it. You’re mine, and that’s that.” The softness of her skin underneath my fingertips entices me into a dark place I really don’t need to be right now for both our sakes. She does things to me that even I don’t fully understand.
I can stay like this forever.
Touching her is lethal to my mind, though.
One touch and everything’s done and over with for me when it comes to her.
I close my eyes. “If it means that much to you, we can go to the carnival.”
“Really?” She jumps off my lap. It takes everything I have not to reach out and grab her to pull her back into my vortex again. “Okay, I’m going to take a shower a
nd get ready.”
And she’s gone.
I’m left alone in the bedroom to worry. Just because Sam’s crazy fucking ass got picked up doesn’t mean it’s over. In order for him to pay for what he’s done, she’ll have to go back to Silver Lake and testify against him. I told Neal to take care of it, but that’s the way it has to fucking be, and I haven’t had the heart to tell her yet. She shouldn’t have to face her attacker a second time.
“Jake!” Her voice squeaks with fear from the bathroom. “Come here, hurry!” Several quick emotions wash over me, and I half-expect to see someone standing in there with her but she’s alone.
Catching my breath, I look at her sitting on the edge of the bathtub with her feet extended in the air.
“What’s wrong?” I look around the room.
She dramatically points toward the opposite corner from where she is. “There’s a spider!”
I see the small spider where she’s pointing, and a warm feeling washes over me. Without hesitation, I swoop down and grab the insect and rush it downstairs and outside. Normally, I would’ve smashed the shit out of it, but with Olivia watching, this was the better thing for her to see me do. When I return to her, she’s started the shower, and the steam tickles my nose when I enter the bathroom.
“It’s gone, baby.”
The door to the shower opens, and her wet head sticks out. “Thanks, he surprised me. You probably think I’m such a baby for that.”
I shrug. “It helps that you’re cute.”
Her smile widens, and she returns to the shower before letting me see her blush. Oh, but I fucking know she’s blushing in that steamy shower…naked and wet and…
I have to get the hell out of here.
After sniffing myself to make sure I can dress without showering, I’m dressed in jeans and a sweater, and I pull on my boots while I’m waiting for her to enter the room. I think about how she’s going to walk back in to me…will she be naked? Wrapped up in a towel? Wet and inviting?
Jesus.
Take a deep breath, Jake.
There she is.
“Sorry, I didn’t take any clothes in with me.” She blushes, and her naked, wet body glides across the room. Her tits bounce as she walks, making my mouth water because my lips want to suction themselves around her erect nipples. Her skin is so damn soft it makes my brain melt inside my skull, and it’s really, really fucking hard not to touch her as she passes me several times. First, she pulls on panties and hides her ass from me. Next, she clasps a bra around her tits so I can’t see those anymore, either. Finally, the jeans and silky olive-green blouse clutch against her skin, and everything I dream about is hidden from me.
But that’s perfectly fine.
I know it’s all mine and only for me.
“Jake?” A giggle wraps around her voice. “You okay?”
I lick my lips. “Fine. I’m fine. Ready?”
She nods and pulls on her sneakers, ready to go. The innocent smile on her lips humbles me as I grab the keys—and grab her hand—ready to get into the car and go to the carnival.
I go because she wants to go; I go because I love her, and if going to a carnival makes her happy, then we’ll stay there all night until she’s had enough.
I still really don’t fucking like clowns, though.
The bright lights of the carnival invite us into the parking lot, even though it’s midday and sunny. I park the car and run around to her side to let her out like a gentleman; she notices and kisses me on the cheek; everything around us just seems so sweet and simple that it’s hard to realize that it’s not. Our lives aren’t sweet and simple, we have forces working against us, and it pisses me off that anyone could want to even hurt Olivia at all. My mind wanders to Sam and how he tried to hurt her, but I took care of that, and she’ll never know what happened if I can help it.
“Oh, look!” She squeals with delight and tugs me toward a row of striped covered booths where the carnival games are. By the time we’ve played the area three times over, she’s got an arm full of stuffed animals and a wide smile on her face. “I’m hungry. What should we do with these?” she asks, holding up her prizes. “Should we find some kids and give them away?”
“I don’t think walking up to random children and giving them toys is acceptable, baby.” I laugh and take the car keys from my pocket. “I’ll run them to the car and we can donate them to a hospital or something tomorrow. You go ahead and figure out what you want to eat, and I’ll be back.”
It takes me less than five minutes to get to the car and back.
But now she’s gone.
Vanished.
***
Olivia
Reading every sign for every food truck at the carnival is a task. My stomach grumbles as I walk past the root beer floats and cotton candy stand, and then the funnel cake takes my nose on an entirely different ride. The scents of the carnival food trigger my brainwaves and send them into a frenzy.
Hold on.
Something isn’t right.
My head hurts a little, and my vision gets hazy, so I find a picnic table and sit down. I’m sure Jake will come looking for me soon, so staying put will be my best option. I can’t see five feet in front of me without my eyes watering. I hold my head in my hands, and it feels like something is snapping like firecrackers in my brain. The bright lights are affecting me more now; my brain feels like it’s slamming against my skull so it can escape.
“Livvie?” a familiar voice says. “Hey, Liv, are you okay?”
I squint up at them.
Brant!
“What—what are you doing here?” My mouth manages to move, but it hurts my head worse.
He leans down and gets eye level with me while the girl he’s with scoffs and puts her hands on her hips. “She’s my friend,” he says to her and brushes the hair from my face. “Hey, Liv? Can you hear me?” He raises his voice, but all I can do is fall into his chest and groan in pain. Without saying anything else, Brant lifts me up and starts to carry me against him with his date in tow. I need to tell him that Jake is here and he’s going to be looking for me, but I can’t open my mouth to speak because I’m in so much pain.
A man in a uniform stops us and asks questions that Brant can’t really answer.
“What’s wrong with her?” the man demands.
“She’s my friend, and I found her like this. She has head issues, I think,” Brant answers.
“What’s her name then?”
“Olivia White.”
The man in uniform steps closer and raises his voice. “Olivia? Olivia White?”
I’m able to raise my head enough off Brant’s chest to acknowledge my own name, so the man is satisfied and steps back to his original stance.
“Does she need an ambulance?”
Brant shifts his weight to hold me better. “Man, I don’t know, okay? I literally walked up and found her like this. I can take her if you’d just let us go.”
After a few seconds, the man steps aside and lets Brant carry me out of the carnival and into the parking lot. “I’m glad I found you, Liv. What are you doing in Seattle? Where’ve you been for the past few months?”
I groan so loudly that people walking into the carnival stop to stare. “Jake.” I let his name escape my lips. “Jake is here.”
Brant stops and looks around. “Where’s Jake?”
“My…Jake.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “I have a phone in my pocket.”
Brant finds his car and places me gently inside. Nervously looking down at me, he fishes inside my jeans pockets for my phone and pulls it out. “Okay, let’s call Jake.” He breathes in and out deeply before making the call.
I hear Jake’s booming voice on the phone as Brant speaks to him. Seconds later, he comes bolting from the carnival with fear oozing all over the pavement as he skids on his knees to pull me close. “I was so fucking scared. What happened?” He looks up at Brant for answers, and I let him tell Jake whatever he wants because my head hurts so
badly that I can’t stop him.
“Can you drive us to the hospital?” Jake asks him.
Brant agrees and gets into the driver’s seat while his date slides in next to him in the passenger seat. Jake tucks me inside fully and climbs into the car, but before Brant can start it and pull out of the parking lot, something snaps inside my head, and the pain drifts away to the point where I can stand to open my eyes without burning my eyeballs up.
“Wait.” I breathe heavily and blink a few times. “We don’t have to go to the hospital. I’m fine.”
Jake shakes his head. “No, you’re not. You need to go—”
“I don’t want to go,” I growl at him and narrow my eyes. “I said I’m fine. Let me out.”
Before Brant can fully stop the car, I jump out, and Jake follows me. Brant gets out to watch, but his date has had enough drama and chooses to sulk inside the car. After catching up with me and swinging me around to face him, the fear in his eyes fades; he brushes my hair back from my face to get a good look at me.
“It’s just a headache.” I swat him away. “That’s all. Let’s go back to the carnival.”
For a few seconds, I know he wants to argue with me. I know he wants to take control and whisk me away to get my head checked out, but the pain has gone away and my vision is coming back piece by piece. Even the dark edges of my life tattoos on his skin look brighter than before when my vision fully shifts back into a normal state.
Jake sighs and looks back at Brant, who shrugs his shoulders and places his arms on the top of his car. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he says when he looks back down at me. “Maybe we should just go back home and rest.”
“I’m fine, okay? I’m lucky Brant found me—”
Brant comes around his car and stands next to Jake. He’s not much smaller than him, and Jake’s copper blonde curls swaying with the light breeze and Brant’s sunshine-colored shaggy hair make them look like long-lost brothers. Jake crosses his arms over his chest, and Brant shoves his into his pockets. But they both have looks of concern on their faces.
