Uncle John's Creature Feature Bathroom Reader For Kids Only!

by Bathroom Readers' Institute

  SEA-MAIL. A Japanese sailor named Chunosake Matsuyama was shipwrecked in 1784. Before he and 44 shipmates died of starvation, Matsuyama carved a message on a piece of wood, sealed it in a bottle, and cast it into the sea. A century later the bottle washed up on the shore of a Japanese village—the very seaside village where Matsuyama was born.

  THE SKY IS FALLING!

  You expect rain, snow, sleet, and maybe even hailstones to come out of the sky…but you’d never expect this!

  PENNIES FROM HEAVEN

  One day in 1956, pennies rained down on children leaving school in Hanham, England. A year later thousands of 1,000 franc notes fell on the town of Bourges, France. No one ever reported any missing money. It just appeared from “way up there.”

  TAKE THAT!

  Pinar del Río, Cuba, was pelted with mud, wood, glass, and broken pottery in four different rainfalls in 1968.

  BLOOD AND GUTS

  On August 27, 1968, flesh and blood rained onto an area of land between Cacapava and São José dos Campos, Brazil. The downpour lasted for almost seven minutes!

  DUCK!

  No one knows why more than a hundred ducks suddenly dropped out of the sky on St. Mary’s City, Maryland, in January 1969. The ducks all had broken bones and injuries—but the injuries had happened to them before they fell.

  FISH AND FROGS AND SNAKES, OH MY!

  Reports of fish and reptiles falling from the sky are actually quite common. In 1877 thousands of live snakes dropped out of the sky on Memphis, Tennessee. Scientists speculated that the snakes were swept up by a hurricane, but could never determine where they came from, because there were no hurricanes nearby and no single location could have provided a home to that many snakes.

  SPOON BENDING

  Want to bend a spoon with your mind? We’re not promising you’ll be able to do it, but here’s a good way to start: have a party!

  Pyschokinesis, or PK, is all about mind over matter. People with pyschokinetic powers are said to be able to bend spoons without using any force. The famous spoon-bender Uri Geller claims that it’s easy to learn how…and much easier if you are with a group of friends, having fun. Why? Because that’s when your mind is in a state of “relaxed inattention”—the perfect time for spoon bending. Here’s how:

  1. INVITE LOTS OF FRIENDS

  It’s best to have friends who are curious, fun, and have a great sense of adventure.

  2. HAVE LOTS OF SPOONS AVAILABLE

  Each spoon bender should take time to find the right spoon. It helps to ask the spoon, “Do you want to bend for me?” Remember, not all spoons want to bend.

  3. CLOSE YOUR EYES AND VISUALIZE

  Imagine a ball of powerful, endless energy running down your arm and pouring into the spoon.

  4. SHOUT LOUDLY AT THE SPOON

  Take the spoon, hold it vertically in your hand and shout, “Bend! Bend! Bend!” Don’t skip this step. You’ve got to let the spoon know who’s the boss.

  5. LAUGH, GIGGLE, AND BE HAPPY

  This is the most important step. When you’re having lots of fun, your mind relaxes, making it possible for your spoon to bend.

  6. BEND THE SPOON

  Hold the spoon in one hand while rubbing it with the other hand. Don’t use force—just use laughter. Really! If you worry about bending your spoon, it won’t work.

  7. BEND-MEISTER

  Once you’ve mastered bending spoons, try bending two forks simultaneously with just your mind. Repeat all of the steps above, except this time you will hold two identical forks at the base, one in each hand. Imagine balls of energy running down your arms and into the forks. Don’t forget to laugh.

  NUMBER MADNES

  Adding these random number-facts to your body of knowledge is as easy as one, two, three. (You can count on it!)

  • Do you eat meat? If you do, in your lifetime you will devour 14 cows, 880 chickens, 23 pigs, 770 pounds of fish, 35 turkeys, and 12 sheep.

  • A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time—it’s 1/100th of a second.

  • In a normal eight-hour work day, a typist’s fingers travel 12 miles.

  • February 2, 2000 (2/2/2000) was the first date to contain only even numbers since August 8, 888 (8/08/888). That’s 1,112 years earlier!

  • November 19, 1999 (11/19/1999), was the last date containing only odd numbers. The next one will be January 1, 3111 (1/1/3111). That’s 1,112 years later!

  • Most people remember 20% of what they read, 30% of what they hear, 40% of what they see, 50% of what they say, and 60% of what they do.

  • In movies or TV, when a telephone number is spoken or printed, it always begins with 555 because no home phone number begins with that prefix.

  • If you watch television for one hour a night between the ages of six and 16, you will have spent eight waking months in front of the TV.

  MORE...LOST AND FOUND

  LOST: A rare orchid in New Zealand

  FOUND: Under the tent of two botanists who had been searching for it for years—it was completely flattened!

  LOST: A little girl in Dover, England, who drifted out to sea on a beach toy (an inflatable set of teeth) in 1994.

  FOUND: Rescued by a man floating on an inflatable lobster.

  LOST: A Christmas card that was mailed on December 23, 1903, to Elsa Johansson of Sweden.

  FOUND: It finally arrived in 1985…82 years later.

  SPOOKY SPOTS

  Want to meet some real ghosts? Go to...

  THE HAUNTED MANSION

  One “D” ticket will get you on Disneyland’s spookiest ride. Besides the ghosts created by Disney Imagineers, you might see a few real ones. Ghostly uninvited guests at the Haunted Mansion include a man in a tuxedo and an old man with a cane. But the saddest ghost of all is that of a young boy who sits near the exit, crying.

  TOYS R US

  “Ghosts R Us” might be a better name for this branch of the toy store chain in Sunnyvale, California, said to be haunted by a 19th-century rancher named Johnson. Dolls and toy trucks fly off shelves, books crash to the floor, and baby swings move on their own. Workers say they’ve felt him brush by or call them by name. Some won’t use the ladies’ room anymore because Johnson turns on the faucets.

  SPANISH MILITARY HOSPITAL

  This hospital-turned-museum in St. Augustine, Florida, was built on an ancient Indian burial ground, which may be why it has so many ghosts. Although there are strange growls, nasty smells, floating orbs, and sometimes dripping “ectoplasm” on the walls, director Diane Lane says the ghosts are really very nice—they open doors for her whenever she walks through the building.

  EXTREME CASES

  Don’t laugh. It could happen to you!

  HIC!

  Charles Osborne could not stop hiccupping. This farmer started hic-ing in 1922, while weighing a pig just before slaughtering it. And for the next 68 years he hic-hic-hiccupped night and day. Sometimes he hiccupped so hard, his false teeth fell out. Over his lifetime he averaged 25 hiccups a minute. That’s 430 million hiccups! When he finally stopped hiccupping, Osborne was 96 years old.

  AH-CHOO!

  Donna Griffiths was just an ordinary 12-year-old schoolgirl in Worcestershire, England, when the sneezing began. It was January 13, 1981—a day she will never forget. Griffiths estimates she sneezed over a million times in the first 365 days. Well-wishers from around the world sent her handkerchiefs and letters suggesting cures. At first she was sneezing at a rate of one sneeze a minute. By the third year, she had slowed to one every five minutes. And finally on September 16, 1983—978 days later—Griffiths stopped sneezing.

  ROYAL WEIRDOS

  Lifestyles of the rich and strange.

  LIONEL WALTER ROTHSCHILD, 2nd Baron de Rothschild (1868–1937), drove a carriage drawn by four zebras. He also had a pet bear that liked to slap women on the butt, and he once hosted an important political dinner that included 12 impeccably dressed monkeys seated at the dinner table.

  FRANCIS HENRY EGERTON, 8th
Earl of Bridgewater (1756–1829), was known for giving extravagant dinner parties…for his dogs. The pups arrived dressed in the most fashionable clothing of the day (they even wore little shoes).

  LUDWIG II of Bavaria (1845–1886) was an extremely shy man, a king who preferred fantasy to reality. He had imaginary dinners with favorite historical figures, and once brought his horse to dinner in the formal state dining room.

  “Mad Ludwig” built fairy tale castles in the Bavarian Alps. Neuschwanstein, which means “new swan stone,” is the most famous. The rooms were decorated with scenes from operas by his favorite composer, Richard Wagner. Ludwig made sure his dream house had hot and cold running water on every floor, flush toilets, and a central heating system. The castle was unfinished at the time of Ludwig’s death in 1886.

  KING FAROUK of Egypt (1920–1965) owned dozens of palaces, thousands of acres of land, and hundreds of cars. And he was a notorious pickpocket. The “Thief of Cairo” stole a pocket watch from Winston Churchill and a ceremonial sword right out of the casket of the Shah of Iran.

  SNOOZE CLUES

  According to Professor Chris Idzikowski of the Sleep Assessment and Advisory Service, your sleep position reveals your personality type. Which one are you?

  1. FETAL: You are a little shy at first, but it doesn’t take you long to warm up.

  2. LOG: You are easygoing and trusting. You love being the center of activity.

  3. YEARNER: You like to check your facts before you make up your mind. Once you’ve made a decision, you’re committed to it.

  4. SOLDIER: You are a quiet person, even a little reserved. You set high standards for yourself and others.

  5. FREE-FALLER: You are ambitious and outgoing, sometimes even a little foolish. But ultimately, you’ll never put yourself in an extreme situation.

  6. STARFISH: You are a compassionate friend and good listener. You’d rather not be the center of attention.

  LAWN-CHAIR LARRY

  This truck driver always wanted to fly, and at the age of 33 he finally did.

  On July 2, 1982, Larry Walters tied 45 helium-filled weather balloons to an aluminum lawn chair in his backyard in San Pedro, California. Equipped with a bottle of soda, a camera, a CB radio, an altimeter, and a BB gun (for altitude control), Larry strapped on a parachute and climbed into his “aircraft”—the Inspiration I.

  Before his friends could untie all the ropes, it broke loose. Seconds later Walters found himself floating at 16,000 feet. Startled pilots alerted air traffic control that a guy in a lawn chair was drifting into the approach to Long Beach airport.

  The thin air was making Walters dizzy, so he popped several balloons with his BB gun and tried to land on a golf green. Instead, he got tangled up in some power lines. (He wasn’t electrocuted, but he did cause a blackout over Long Beach.) Walters escaped with a $1,500 fine…and his life.

  “Since I was 13, I’ve dreamed of going up into the sky in a weather balloon,” Walters said later. “And by the grace of God, I fulfilled my dream. But I wouldn’t do this again for anything!”

  YOU’VE GOT MAIL

  Can’t find an envelope? Who cares?

  According to government regulations, you can send almost anything through the United States Postal Service, as long as you follow these simple rules:

  1. No dangerous chemicals, explosives, or glass.

  2. No live animals.

  3. Apply the correct postage.

  Here are a few things that have actually been sent—unwrapped—but with the correct postage:

  • Money (wrapped in clear plastic): a quarter, a $1 bill, and a $20 bill.

  • Clothing: Brand-new tennis shoes; a sock tied to a set of keys.

  • Toys: A football, a Lego postcard made out of actual Legos, and a toy monkey in a box. (When the box was shaken, the monkey screamed, “Let me out of here! Help! Let me out of here.”)

  • Goofy stuff: A rose, a feather duster, a ski, a roll of toilet paper, and a message in a clear plastic bottle.

  • Food products: A coconut, a wheel of smelly cheese, a wax peach.

  PARTY ANIMALS

  When you want to celebrate, what do you do? Sing songs? Eat cake? When these guys celebrate they go to strange (and scary) extremes.

  BLOCO DE LAMA. Every year during Carnival in Brazil, these people dress up like cavemen, cover themselves in mud, and parade down the streets of the town of Paraty. The sulfurous mud is said to be good for the skin. But most just do it for the fun of it.

  LA TOMATINA. The largest food fight on the planet takes place every year in Spain when 240,000 pounds of tomatoes are shipped into the small town of Bunol. More than 30,000 tourists make the journey to Bunol for the chance to hurl tomatoes at each other and be covered from head to toe in red slime.

  FLUSHED AND FOUND

  Top 20 most unusual items flushed down the toilet.

  1. A bedspread

  2. A possum

  3. A pair of hiking boots

  4. Fourteen pairs of men’s extra-large briefs

  5. False teeth

  6. A wig

  7. Rubber ducks

  8. A rattlesnake

  9. A seven-foot-long boa constrictor

  10. Piranhas

  11. TV remotes

  12. An alarm clock

  13. An 8-ball

  14. Thirty golf balls

  15. A bowling ball

  16. A baseball bat

  17. Twelve glass eyes

  18. A bunch of $100 bills

  19. A diamond

  20. A Timex watch (still ticking…)

  SHANNON SCAVOTTO got the shock of his life when an African rock python reared up out of the toilet just as he was about to sit down. The six-foot-long snake has made the entire family think twice about using the toilet—especially in the dark.

  BRITS AND THEIR “COMPS”

  Welcome to the quirky world of British competition.

  BOG SNORKELING

  Ever since 1985, the town of Llanwrtyd Wells, Wales, has hosted the Annual Peat Bog Competition. Competitors must swim two lengths of a 60-yard-long, muddy, reed-filled trench wearing snorkels and flippers. They can’t use any conventional swim strokes, must not touch the bottom, and have to keep their faces in the muddy bog. The snorkeler with the fastest time wins.

  CHEESE ROLLING

  For hundreds of years, Cooper’s Hill near Gloucester, England, has hosted an annual cheese roll. Cheese rolling may have started as an ancient fertility rite, but it has evolved into an all-out rollicking race down a very steep and extremely treacherous hill. At the start of the race an 8-pound, 3-inch-thick wheel of cheese is hurled down Coopers Hill. A moment later, the competitors run after the cheese. They never catch the cheese. By the time it reaches the bottom of the hill, the cheese is traveling 70 mph. Runners who are still on their feet when they reach the bottom of the hill (and very few make it that far) are tackled by rugby players to keep them from crashing into the fence at the end of the course. The first runner to cross the finish line gets to keep the cheese.

  WORM CHARMING

  In 1980 Tom Shufflebotham stunned the world by charming 511 worms out of the ground in 30 minutes at the first World Worm Charming Championships in Nantwich, Cheshire. Since then no one has been able to beat his record. How do you charm a worm? The most successful method is called “twanging”—inserting a four-pronged pitchfork in the ground and twanging it (vibrating it) until the worm crawls out. Under no circumstances can a competitor dig a worm out of the ground.

  VAMPIRE BASICS

  This simple guide will tell you everything you need to know about how to decide if your next door neighbor is a vampire.

  THE TELLTALE SIGNS OF A VAMPIRE

  • A vampire casts no reflection. It cannot be seen in a mirror or a photograph.

  • A vampire is allergic to sunlight. It can only go out at night.

  • Vampires cannot be heard over telephone lines.

  • Vampires cannot or will not cross running wa
ter.

  • Vampires are shape-shifters; they turn into bats, wolves, or wisps of smoke to travel.

  • Vampires grow stronger as they get older.

  HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF

  Garlic: Hang it around your neck. Rub it on your windows and doors. Garlic severely weakens a vampire.

  Cross: Wear a cross around your neck. Crosses burn vampires.

  Roses: Plant wild roses in your yard. Most vampires hate them.

  Light: Keep your home well lit. A bright light will temporarily blind a vampire.

  Hide the welcome mat: Whatever you do, never invite a vampire into your home. It cannot enter your house without your invitation.