Conquer (Desired Affliction Book 2)

by C. A. Harms

  “I love you too.”

  “So I guess now is a good time to tell you that my mom will be here tomorrow.”

  “What?”

  I tilted my head back looking up at him. He watched my eyes closely. “I invited her over. I think it’s time she meets Hanna.”

  “Are you sure about this?”

  I nodded my head.

  “I just don’t want you getting upset.”

  I kissed his lips softly. “I’ll be fine, promise. I need to forgive her. She made a lot of mistakes, but we all make mistakes; you know that. Think about it. If I wouldn’t have forgiven you for the huge mistake you made with that skanky bitch Hope, we wouldn’t be here together holding our daughter. It’s time to forgive her and I think she’s changed.”

  “Okay.”

  ***

  The next morning Kole seemed nervous. He needed to go into the gym, but didn’t want to leave me alone with my mom.

  “I’m fine, okay? Go.” He looked at me like I just told him the moon was purple.

  “I wanna be here if you need me.”

  “She’s not an axe murderer, Kole. She’s my mom, and maybe some time alone with her so we can talk would be good for us. I’ll call you if I need you, I promise.”

  He finally agreed and I could tell by his face that it took every ounce of effort he had. He kissed both Hanna and me goodbye and made his way to the door. “I’ll have my phone on me at all times. If you need anything, call.”

  “Okay. Bye.”

  He shook his head and walked out the door.

  ***

  I was just finishing up with Hanna’s mid-morning breakfast when the doorbell rang. I placed her into her bassinet and walked toward the door. After a deep breath I let my mother back into my life…with caution.

  “Oh my god, she’s beautiful. Look at all that hair and that mouth. She’s got her momma’s lips. Look how it’s perfectly heart shaped.”

  When she turned to me her eyes were glistening with tears. She smiled.

  “I’m so sorry, Lexi. I’m sorry for everything. I know you’ll never make the same mistakes I made. You’ve turned into an amazing woman, no thanks to me.”

  I grabbed a box of tissues and we sat together on the couch. “Can I ask why? Why didn’t you give me the letters from Dad? And why did you act the way you did that day in the hospital? I just don’t understand what happened.”

  She took a deep breath. “Your father and I were young when we got married. We were young when we had you, and I agree now that we were better off apart. At the time I didn’t see it that way. When he left me, I felt like a failure. I wanted to punish him for leaving me for another woman. It was selfish and cruel, I know, because by doing that I was also punishing you. I was too caught up in hurting him to realize it. He came back to town a couple times, but we had moved and I changed jobs so he wasn’t sure how to find us.”

  She shook her head and her lip trembled. “I told him that you didn’t want to see him and he left. He tried to write more letters and send more cards, but I continued to hide them.”

  Her eyes met mine. “I know I took a lot of years away from both of you and I can never give them back. You need to know that your father loves you; he has always loved you. I didn’t want him to take you away from me too, so I lied to keep you.”

  We both looked at one another as the tears continued to fall.

  “Do you remember when I hurt my back at work the summer before your senior year?” I nodded my head waiting for her to explain. “I was put on pain medication, and over the course of my recovery, I became addicted to the medication. I would take one after another so I could numb the pain of everything. You and I grew further apart and I regretted a lot of things. It was easier to block it out by being incoherent.”

  I sat in shock listening to my mother spill her dirty secrets.

  “I became a person I didn’t recognize, and when I took you to the hospital that day, I was high and strung out. I took years of frustration out on you when you didn’t deserve it. I walked away from you when you needed me most. I’ll never forgive myself for not listening to you and hearing the truth.”

  “I spent the next two and half years in and out of rehab. I relapsed and went back so many times. I finally got clean and was able to start my life again.” She took my hand in hers.

  “Kole sent the letter inviting me to your birthday because I had called his mother after years of not talking. I went to her and told her everything about my addiction. During our conversation, she brought up that you and Kole were together. I told her I missed you and that I wished we could attempt to have a relationship.”

  She squeezed my hand as I looked up, meeting her reddened eyes. “He thought he was doing a good thing. I know you were upset with him, but you got a good man there, Lexi. I can see the love he has for you and any girl would be envious. He would do anything for you.”

  At this point I was sobbing into my hands and I let all the years of abandonment and heartache go. I let all of the years of hating her wash away. I knew she regretted her choices and I had to free myself of the pain and anger I had felt for all those years. I wanted to move forward and I wanted her to be in my life and in Hanna’s.

  “I forgive you, Mom.”

  She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me close. “I love you, Lexi.”

  Epilogue

  Kole

  Coming home from the gym to find baby bottles draining next to the sink still made me smile. After four weeks I still was amazed by the fact that I had a daughter. Hanna, just like Lexi, consumed my heart and soul entirely. My two beautiful girls had me completely wrapped around their gorgeous little fingers.

  I could hear Lexi and I slowly made my way down the hall toward her voice. I stood in the hallway just outside of Hanna’s room, watching through the cracked doorway. Lexi was sitting in the glider next to the crib, rocking Hanna softly as she sang gently.

  I watched in awe, taking in every single moment and etching it permanently into memory. I never wanted to forget how I felt watching Lexi hold our little girl, lightly stroking her sweet little cheek. I swallowed past the lump in my throat as I listened closely to the words Lexi sang.

  I pushed the door open gently and Lexi looked up at me smiling. Yeah, the caveman was crying. I smiled back and wiped the tear from my cheek.

  “Hi.”

  I knelt in front of Lexi and kissed Hanna’s head right before leaning in further to place my still trembling lips to Lexi’s. I rested my forehead against hers gently. After a silent moment I spoke.

  “There is nothing in this world that is as beautiful as you two right now. I could watch you both for days and still feel like I need more. Do you even understand what you have given me, Lexi? Everything you’ve given me?”

  I relaxed back onto my knees and looked into her eyes as they glistened with unshed tears. I traced her jaw with my thumb slowly. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and then to give me the gift of becoming a father just makes you more amazing. I love you two so damn much. You make me fall harder every day without even trying and I feel like I can’t breathe without the two of you.”

  We sat this way for a while just watching our perfect daughter. Every grunt caused us to laugh; even when she let out her little baby farts she was still adorable. There was no way in hell life could get any better. This felt right; it felt like it all turned out just as it should have. The road we took to get here was rough at times, but it led us to where we were right now. And there was nowhere else I would rather be.

  Conquer—Song List

  I Want to Love You Madly—Cake

  I Won’t Give up—Jana Kramer

  Blurred Lines—Robin Thicke

  I Knew I Loved You—Savage Garden

  Crazy Ride—Michelle Branch

  Risk

  Desired Affliction Series,

  Book Three

  C.A. Harms

  Coming Soon

  Acknowledgements

>   Thank you to all my fans and followers, without your praise, my drive to keep writing wouldn’t be as strong. Thank you for all the kind words and inspiration you share with me along the way. You are all amazing and I love sharing my stories with each and every one of you.

  Maria Trojanowski, once again you are so kick ass. You never fail me when I need a boost in the right direction. If I hit a snag I know you will shoot an idea at me. Even if that idea is so off the wall that all I can do is smile, it still gets me moving in one way or the other. Thank you for being exactly who you are.

  The great and wonderful Lisa Watmough with RockWat Designs…I love your guts girl. You rock my world!

  Barbara Martoncik, thank you so much for your continued support. It means the world to me.

  To my husband who has given me some great writing material without even realizing it.

  To my children Jayden and Tayler, I love you both to the moon and back. You both are my greatest accomplishments in life.

  About the Author

  A little about me, let’s see where to start.

  I love HEA stories, as long as they come packing a little heat. I need some excitement, some angst and moments that make me fan my face, those are always good too. I am an Illinois girl, born and raised. Simple and true, it honestly doesn’t take much to make me happy. I love the little things, they truly mean the most. I may have a slight addiction to my new Keurig, oh my, that thing is a godsend. And so fast too. I have two children who truly are my very best friends their faces never fail to put a smile on my face. I have been married to my husband for sixteen years and even though at times I want to beat him with a stick, I would never change the years we have had. We have learned and fallen, only to pick each other up, dust off the ache and help each other make it right.

  I am one of those authors that adore my fans, I love to hear from you. After all it is because of each one of you that I continue to write. I look forward to you feedback.

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