Cassie's Hope (Riders Up)

by Kraft, Adriana

  “If this thing is going to work between you two,” Silver Hawk continued, “the family is going to be a large part of it. Are you afraid I’ll scare her away?”

  “No, it’s not that. I just never thought…”

  “Sometimes you do too much thinking,” she interrupted, “and quite often, your assumptions are totally wrong. So, what will it be? Will you take me along to Chicago? Or are you going to mope around here and make all our lives miserable?”

  Clint shrugged, taking his time to observe a bald eagle soaring off to the east. “Okay, little sister, we’ll see how you like the Windy City. But you are to keep a close eye on the kids. The more I think about it, we may be able to use you to lay a trap for whoever’s drugging Hope. And I want you to watch your tongue around Cassie.”

  “Is that all, Master?” Silver Hawk pulled on the rim of her hat, trying unsuccessfully to conceal a smile.

  - o -

  While filling a water tank for the three yearling colts, Cassie heard the approach of a car coming down the long farm driveway. It was the Thursday morning after Hope’s most recent loss. She wasn’t expecting anyone; she didn’t think her father was, either.

  The rising sun blinded her, preventing her from identifying their visitors. Shading her eyes, she saw a fairly new maroon sedan stop at the house. A man and woman were in the front seat. The first door to open, however, was a back door, and out tumbled two children, behaving as if they had been trapped inside for days.

  Cassie’s hand flew to her throat. The boy and girl running down the path to the barn suddenly skidded to a stop some thirty feet away to stare at her. Each looked shyly to her for some kind of recognition. Each had ebony hair. Each was dressed in jeans and a blue shirt and wore western boots.

  Instinctively, Cassie went to her knees and held out her arms wide. Sammy and Lester raced to her beaming large smiles.

  Hugging the children to her, Cassie tried to forestall the tears forming in her eyes. “My goodness,” she said, “what a surprise! I didn’t know you were coming.”

  “We just got here,” Samantha explained, brushing a small hand across Cassie’s cheek. “We flew on a big plane. We slept in a fancy hotel last night. I wanted to call you, but Daddy wouldn’t let me.”

  “You wanted to spoil the surprise,” Lester hissed, poking his sister. “We wanted to surprise you.” The boy laced his fingers in Cassie’s hair.

  “Well, you certainly did that,” Cassie agreed nodding. “My, I think you have both grown since I last saw you.

  “Me, most,” Sammy squealed.

  “Now, I don’t know about that,” interjected a deep male voice. “Why don’t you both stand up and let Ms. O’Hanlon breathe?”

  Cassie closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath before peering up into Clint Travers’ dark face. His eyes were hooded, indecipherable.

  “It’s good to see you, Cassidy,” he said, breaking the stiff silence.

  Standing, she swallowed a laugh, recognizing his discomfort at being with her around his kids. He didn’t know what to do with her. Well, why had he brought them, then?

  Movement on the path caught Cassie’s attention. She’d forgotten there was a woman in the car. At first she didn’t recognize the stunning young female approaching them. Then Cassie felt a chill creep through her body as she recognized Silver Hawk, Clint’s sister.

  The tall, dark-haired woman dressed in a long denim skirt, white blouse with a turquoise necklace and belt reflected an understated beauty that made Cassie immediately jealous. The woman could have stepped right out of an ad for the southwest. Absently, Cassie brushed at the dirt on her jeans and faded blue work shirt. She remained wary as the other woman approached.

  Reaching them, Silver Hawk offered a hand in friendly fashion. “Hi, Cassie. We were never formally introduced. I wasn’t having a very good day when you were at the ranch. I hope there will be no hard feelings between us.”

  Surprised by the woman’s directness, Cassie responded quickly, although coolly, “Of course not. I’m just surprised to see you here.” Looking around at all the faces, she said, “All of you, for that matter.”

  Silver Hawk stifled a grin. Turning to her brother she said, “Why don’t I take the kids on a tour of the barn? Appears to me, big brother, you have some tall explaining to do. I believe this Irish lass is about to go on the warpath. And while I would love to stay and watch, it’s probably best for little ears to be somewhere else.”

  “Funny. Funny. Yeah, take them through the barn. They’ll probably find some cats to make friends with. Run along now,” Clint ordered.

  “But we just got to see her,” Sammy complained.

  Lester muttered, “Aw shucks,” then grabbed his sister’s hand and dashed toward the hidden treasures of an unexplored barn, with Silver Hawk trotting along behind them.

  Once she saw the children were out of earshot, Cassie wheeled on the Utah rancher. “Now what are you up to? You said you wouldn’t bring Lester and Sammy because of the situation with Hope. You didn’t give me any warning, Clint Travers. You agreed to no pressure. Can’t you let things take a natural course?”

  He moved to her and pulled her to his chest. Cassie pounded his shoulders with open palms and then shuddered. It felt so good to be in his arms again. She loved his touch, his smell. Her head cleared. She sighed. She did enjoy the strength and the comfort this man brought to her life, but damn if she would be smothered or led down some devious pathway to bliss. Not that there was anything wrong with bliss—she just didn’t want to be tricked into it.

  “I didn’t mean to startle you or burden you,” Clint whispered. “No tricks. No pressure. This is the only way I could be with you. And I couldn’t wait any longer.”

  Cassie moved back from their embrace, holding each of his hands in hers. She saw only honesty in his face. His ways might not be entirely her ways, but there was no trickery taking place.

  Clint tried to explain. “Lester and Sammy wanted to see you again, like I said on the phone. I thought maybe my mom might be able to come.”

  Cassie shook her head. That would not have been a good idea.

  “Then my sister volunteered.”

  “But she doesn’t like me.”

  “That’s not true,” Clint corrected. “She doesn’t know you, and she’s is very protective of her family. I hope you’ll try to accept her. Silver Hawk only wants what’s best for her loved ones.”

  “We’ll see,” Cassie replied, realizing she didn’t sound very convincing. “Why do I have this gnawing feeling in my gut that you’re crowding me?” She glanced away, then turned back toward him. “I feel things for you I have never felt for any man, but I don’t want to be stampeded.”

  “I don’t want to rush you or me,” Clint agreed. “But I’m convinced our destinies are intertwined and we will be together. I know that as certainly as I know that the sun will rise tomorrow.”

  Cassie stepped back and struggled to get hold of her feelings. “You’re convinced? You’re certain. Well, I’m not.”

  She hated the hint of a smirk on his face. “And don’t think bringing the kids here is going to sway me. To my way of thinking, a man and a woman have to work out their relationship before being a family.”

  Clasping her hands tightly at her waist, Cassie continued, “I won’t be railroaded into anything. Don’t push me. Or I just might give you all the puzzle pieces back.”

  “Cool your fires some, lady,” Clint said, none too gently. “I’m not pushing you. Just because I’m certain about the end doesn’t mean I’m not a patient man. But you’ve got to realize that from my culture, family is very important. I wouldn’t consider marrying a woman without having a good idea about how she’ll connect with my children and the rest of the family. I’m not just one person in this relationship. I bring with me many others.”

  Cassie nearly collapsed under his intensity. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, “I didn’t mean to suggest the children aren’t important. They’re very imp
ortant, and incredibly lovable.”

  She swallowed hard. She glanced toward the house. She struggled to hold herself in place. Family. What did she really know about being a family? Damn, she hated that word. She looked at Clint, patiently waiting for her to say something. She shivered.

  “I guess,” she said, brushing a tear from the corner of an eye, “maybe I don’t know much about family. We didn’t have much of one. Yet Dad did the best he could, I know he did.”

  Then the tears flowed freely and she moved into her lover’s arms. She didn’t want to be pushed, but neither did she want to shove him away.

  “He did a great job with you,” said Clint, over her muffled sobs. “And this isn’t some sort of test. The kids…my family already love you. They just want you to know them better.”

  “Even your sister?” Cassie chuckled against his shirt.

  “She’ll come around. You can trust me on that.”

  - o -

  Clint appreciated Tug’s beaming smile as he clasped Cassie’s father’s hand in greeting.

  “I see you’re back, young man. Couldn’t stay away from my daughter, huh?”

  “You’re right about that,” Clint confided, “but I also thought maybe you could use some help protecting the filly.”

  The older man led Clint to a group of lawn chairs in the yard. Cassie and Silver Hawk were raiding the refrigerator for pop. The day was too hot to remain inside. It pleased Clint to see Tug getting around better. Unsteady, but better.

  “So who are these little ones, Clint?” Tug asked, after catching his breath.

  Calling his children over to them, Clint announced, “I’m proud to introduce you to my kids, Lester and Sammy. Kids, this is Mr. O’Hanlon, Cassie’s father.”

  “Just call me Tug,” he said, reaching for the boy’s hand. “So what do you two do for fun?”

  “I ride as fast as the wind,” Lester boasted. “And I catch toads and frogs down by the creek.”

  “Do you catch toads and frogs, too?” the old man asked Sammy, helping her settle on his knee.

  “No,” she warbled. “I play with my dolls and I chase the boys…I’m fast…and I ride my pony…he’s not so fast.” She paused and ran her finger pads across Tug’s face. “You have wrinkles like my grandmother. But she doesn’t have whiskers.”

  The old man howled. “You’re something, little girl. I bet you can wrap Cassie right around your finger.

  “Oh, no. Fire Woman lives too far away from me. Do you think she will want to live with me?”

  Swallowing hard, Tug smiled at the girl. “I don’t rightly know. She’ll have to decide about that, but I can’t imagine anyone not wantin’ to live with you. And what did you call my daughter?”

  “Fire Woman. That’s the name my grandmother gave to her. She thinks Fire Woman is a good name for Ms. O’Hanlon, because her hair catches fire when the light shines on it.”

  “Sounds like your grandmother is a wise woman. My daughter has a lot of fire, that’s for sure.”

  Becoming very serious, Sammy responded, “I bet you’re a wise man, too. I think that’s what wrinkles mean.”

  Tug laughed again, but before he could utter another word his young new friend hopped off his lap and dashed toward the house. Cassie and Silver Hawk were coming down the steps with trays of drinks and food.

  “Sorry, Tug, my kids aren’t very shy,” Clint said. “Good to see you getting some color back.”

  “They’re good kids. The girl’s observant. That’s good. And she’s already learning how to chase boys.” Tug’s eyes filled with mirth. “She’ll turn many a head as she gets older. You can count on that.”

  “Right.”

  It hardly took a moment for both kids to refuel and then dash toward the barn to continue exploring, after Tug had agreed to show Lester a good place near the house to look for frogs some evening, and Sammy had gotten him to agree to spend some time meeting the dolls she’d brought along but had left at the hotel.

  “Well, Dad, what do you think? Cassie asked. Clint and his family had just left for their hotel. The house was suddenly very ordinary and quiet. The chatter had stopped. No more jokes. No more questions.

  Her dad had told more stories than she thought he knew. Sammy had been able to nuzzle right into a small corner of his chair. If the young girl was not off exploring, she was chattering non-stop with Tug. Cassie hadn’t seen her father so freely energized for a very long time. Laughter must truly be good for the soul.

  And Lester spent a considerable amount of time cataloging her riding trophies in his mind. He wanted to hear the story behind each of them. Silver Hawk had remained rather quiet, but obviously took in everything that was happening. Cassie knew Clint was pleased. He was proud of his children, and rightly so.

  But they did need a mother.

  Her father answered. “What do I think? It was a fine meal. The day was hot, but not as muggy as yesterday.”

  “Dad! What about Clint, Lester, Sammy, Silver Hawk? What do you think about them?”

  “Oh, them.” Tug’s lips twitched. “They’re quite a family. They can laugh together. That little one is a real jewel. She’ll turn some fellow’s heart someday.” He paused, his eyes twinkling. “Seriously, Cass, there’s no question they love you. And you’re good with them. But do you love him? Is he the man you want to chase dreams with?”

  Not waiting for her reply, he continued, “Because if you do, then tell him. It’s a lot easier chasing dreams when you have a partner to share ups and downs.”

  “Thanks,” said Cassie, bending to kiss her father’s cheek. “There’s another person in Clint’s family I’d like you to meet someday—his grandmother. Somehow, I think the two of you have much in common. Both of you are romantic philosophers.”

  It thrilled her to see the gleam in her father’s eye. Being around the kids had been good for him.

  Would he talk to her now about a pain they both shared deeply? It mattered; she knew it did. How could she even think about becoming an instant mother without ever having had one?

  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Tell me about her. Why didn’t she want to be my mother?” Her throat constricted. She watched her father’s eyes cloud over; his fingers automatically clenched.

  “Why are you asking after all these years?” He gasped for air.

  Alarmed, Cassie said, “I don’t want to hurt you, Dad. We don’t have to talk about her.”

  “No. No, you’re right, we’ve got to talk about her. It’s way past time. I think I understand why, now. You’re not like her, Cass.” He sighed deeply, no doubt thinking back to a much earlier time. “When you were little, there wasn’t much we could tell you other than your mother wouldn’t be coming back. Your aunt thought it best if we just ignored the past and moved on. That was easier for me, too. Looking back, I’m not sure it was best for you.”

  “You did what you thought was best. I’m not questioning that. I just want to know more about her. I’ve only seen one picture of her. How did you meet? What did she want out of life?” Cassie’s voice cracked. “Did she love me?”

  “Ah, in her own way, she loved you very much,” Tug responded. “Maybe she didn’t know how to love you better. Maybe I should have done more to help her.

  “I thought I would be a bachelor until I met your mother. I was almost twice her age. She was young and pretty.

  “I never knew why she thought I was such a good catch. Guess she was runnin’ from a home life that wasn’t good. They expected her to raise her younger brothers and sisters, and there was a slew of ‘em. Abigail did most of the diaperin’ and cookin’. Her father was some kind of a traveling salesman. I seldom saw him. Her mother seemed more hooked on soap operas than anything else.”

  “That sounds like a harsh existence.” Cassie absently twirled strands of hair around her fingers.

  “Yeah, I imagine my lifestyle of haulin’ from track to track was romantic at first. We had a whirlwind relationship. Two months after
we met, we got married. A month later she was pregnant with you. And then reality sank in. For both of us.

  “She stayed with me on the road until she was six months along. Then I brought her back here. Your aunt watched over her like a hawk. I don’t expect Abigail liked that one bit. You were born, and for a while she seemed thrilled with you and with the family.”

  “So what went wrong? What happened to drive her away?”

  Tug stared at Cassie’s trophies on the shelf. “I’m not sure what to tell you. I knew she was gettin’ more and more unhappy. She made sure she didn’t get pregnant again. She said she didn’t want so many kids around her that she’d feel like a slave, yet she still seemed to care for you.”

  “Well, something must have soured her on me.”

  Tug continued on as if he hadn’t heard her. “Whatever glamour she found travelin’ with me on the road quickly faded. She didn’t like stayin’ here by herself. There was no one to run interference with your aunt. Both women had red-hot tempers.

  “The downhill slide started slowly, I think. But the spark that first sizzled so hot between Abigail and me turned as cold as black ice.” Tug paused, then added softly, “I got word from your aunt that Abigail would bring you down to the living room or kitchen to leave with her, and then be gone for hours. Then it was days. Sometimes she’d come back drunker than a skunk. Then she’d forget to even to tell Lizzy she was leaving. First your aunt would know about it was hearin’ you screamin’ from your upstairs bedroom.”

  Cassie’s jaw dropped. “I didn’t know.”

  “You were too young to remember, thank goodness. I tried to get through to her, but she said I loved my horses more than her. I don’t know, maybe she was right…She was so young and beautiful. You have her beauty, you know? Finally, she just disappeared.” He choked on his emotion. “I don’t know why she left, but I’m so glad she didn’t take you with her.”

  Cassie moved to hold her father’s hands. “I didn’t mean to put you through a lot of pain, making you remember like that.”