Menopause to Matrimony (Fortytude Series Book 2)

by Hickman, Shelly

  Carly keeps a distance as Jason tries to calm her, then she turns to me, her eyes watery; this is what she had been trying to tell me. The whole scene is heartbreaking as we witness Claire drowning in her own terror.

  Jason is now crouched in front of her, his hands still on the iPad as he attempts to pry it from her little fingers without yanking on it. “Claire!” he says firmly. “Stop it right now.”

  “No, Daddy. Pleeeease!” Tears stream down her face. It’s the first time she looks at him, and the pain expressed in her blue eyes is almost more than I can bear. The rest of us are paralyzed as we watch the drama unfold. Kiran scoots closer to her and tentatively places a soothing hand on her back, which she is oblivious to.

  Jason turns to address the rest of us. “Everyone, go on without us. We’ll be there in a minute.” In the meantime, Claire is showing no signs of winding down. She finally releases the tablet and draws her knees to her chest, burying her face. “Please! Please!”

  Geena’s shoulders droop and she touches her chest. “Would it be okay to let her bring it to the table? Just this once?”

  “Come, everyone.” Ahsan ushers us all toward the dining room. “I’m sure she just needs a couple of minutes without an audience.”

  As we sit down to eat, I glance at Luke from across the table. He meets my eyes with a forced smile and pained gaze. I’ve not had the conversation with him, but his manner says he also believes there may be something more going on with Claire than the “terrible twos.”

  There’s an awkward lull among us, followed by mutters of how delicious everything looks. Hayden, ever intolerant of uncomfortable silence, is the first to turn the mood around. “Personally, can’t say I blame Claire Bear,” he says before bringing a bottle of beer to his lips. “I’d get pretty cranky, too, if I couldn’t listen to my jams.”

  The comment releases some of the tension as we begin to pass the food around. “Well, this all looks beautiful,” I say. “Thank you, Geena.”

  “Oh, you’re quite welcome, sweetheart!”

  Carly and Jason return to take their seats without Claire. “We’re going to give her some cool-down time,” Carly says with a downward gaze. “Sorry about that.”

  “There’s absolutely nothing to apologize for,” Geena says. “I think we all know how difficult two-year-olds can be.”

  “Except for me. Right, Mom?” Hayden says.

  “Yes, sweetie. If you say so.”

  He then touches his cold bottle to Carly’s arm, attempting to tease her out of her gloom. She jolts in surprise and gives him a dirty look. A second later, her heaviness eases and she gives him a little smile.

  As soon as everyone has food on their plates, Ahsan stands at the head of the table. “Well, since we’re here to celebrate Kiran and Anna’s engagement, I’d like to say a few short words, if I may.” With a glass of wine in his hand, he looks to me. “Anna, we couldn’t be happier to have you as our daughter.”

  “Thank you.” I nod and smile at Kiran, who sits beside me.

  “In you, Kiran has found a kind and compassionate soul, who also comes packaged with two grandchildren that Geena and I thought we may never have.” He eyes Carly and Hayden as everyone chuckles politely. “Granted, we didn’t get to watch them grow, but with any luck, we’ll have that opportunity with the little one in the next room. And Hayden, if you would also like to contribute a great-grandchild at some point…” He leans forward for emphasis. “But no pressure!”

  That gets Hayden some ribbing from everyone, and he actually blushes. The boy never blushes. “Ah, I think you may be waiting a while on that one.”

  “We can always dream,” Luke says.

  “I’d also like to thank Kiran and Anna for their hospitality,” Ahsan continues. “You’ve let us invade your home, longer than originally planned, and now you have yet another one of our family members as a houseguest.” Ahsan lifts his chin toward Seth. “Seth, I hope you’ll behave yourself.” He says this in jest, but there’s a hint of sternness to his words.

  Seth feigns a sober expression and raises his right hand, swearing to be on his best behavior. He then winks at Kiran, and Kiran is clearly amused by his cousin.

  Ahsan raises his glass. “To Kiran and Anna!”

  “To Kiran and Anna!” everyone echoes.

  A few minutes later, once everyone is absorbed in dinner and conversation, I lean into Kiran to interrupt his chat with Seth. “I’m gonna go check on Claire.”

  Hoping to discover that Claire has forgotten all about the loss of her iPad, I’m disappointed to find her on the couch lying on her side, still weeping quietly.

  “Claire, honey.” I sit on the floor beside her. “Don’t you want to come eat now? Grandma Geena made some really yummy lamb chops.”

  She breathes through her mouth as her chest rises and falls. “No.” Her voice is so full of emotion, she barely gets the word out.

  “Why not, sweetie?”

  She covers her eyes and her face contorts. “I just don’t, Nana!”

  I sit on the sofa beside her. “Come here, pumpkin.”

  Though still crying, she tries to hold in her sobs as she leans into me and I put my arm around her. The poor thing’s face is a red, blotchy mess. Carly appears at the edge of the room and watches silently with her arms folded in front of her.

  “I want… my… music,” Claire says between heavy breaths.

  “That’s okay. But you still have to eat.” I kiss the top of her head. “I’m sure Mommy and Daddy will let you have your music after dinner.”

  “Why?” she cries desperately. “I’m not hungry!”

  “Well, maybe you are and you just don’t know it.”

  Scowling, she looks at me like I’m crazy. However, the connection is very brief before her gaze wanders past me.

  “Come back with me and eat some dinner. Then I’m sure you can have your music.”

  She exhales one last shaky breath. “Okay. But I’m not hungry.”

  Standing up, I hold out my hand to her and she takes it. As we pass Carly, she and I exchange a silent conversation. I think she’s right; Claire needs to be evaluated. For what, I’m not exactly sure. Maybe she’s just a little high strung and that’s all, but if not, the earlier the problem is found, the better.

  ***

  “Do you think it’s normal, for her to be so obsessed with one thing like that?” Carly asks me as she takes a bite of ice cream. She and I sit at the kitchen island, while Claire lies on her stomach in the adjacent family room, content as ever now that she has her sidekick back. We watch as Hayden comes to sit down cross-legged beside her. As usual when it comes to others, she doesn’t give him much notice.

  “I really have no idea. It’s been too long for me to remember what’s normal for a kid her age.”

  “I mean, I’m glad she’s into music. That’s good. But I don’t think I’d worry as much if she wasn’t so… I don’t know… crazed about it.” Carly stares into her bowl and mashes the ice cream with her spoon. “She needs other kinds of interactions. I know it will be ugly, but I think the iPad’s gotta go.”

  Seth approaches and joins us. “I’m sorry if I’m intruding on your conversation, but have you tried anything else that’s related to music?”

  Carly shifts about and wrinkles her nose. “No, not really. I’ve tried getting her involved in TV shows, like on Disney or Nick Jr. The thing is, it’s not just listening to music that appeals to her. She wants to make it. Interact with it. That’s why she likes all those apps.”

  “What about putting her in music lessons?” I suggest. “Like piano or something? I know she’s really young, but she’s so stinkin’ smart! And it would force her to interact with a human.”

  Carly breaks a smile at my smart-ass remark.

  “Dance maybe?” Seth proposes.

  “Oh no.” Carly shakes her head. “The poor thing is klutzy as hell!”

  “Toddlers are supposed to be klutzy, aren’t they?” Seth leans forward on the
counter. “Then dance would help with her coordination.” I find it kind of endearing that he has jumped into this problem-solving session with us. “Let’s try something.”

  Seth walks to the family room where everyone else is chatting, and Carly and I eye each other, puzzled. However, I’m struck with the familiar bathroom urgency, due to my monthly hell.

  “I’ll be back,” I tell Carly and head upstairs to the restroom. Once in the powder room, I again discover the need to change my underwear. “Gahhhh! Really?” That’s it, uterine lining. You gots ta go!

  After cleaning myself up, I come back downstairs and can hardly believe my eyes. A satellite music station is turned way up on the television, and Seth is trying to get Geena to dance with him to the Bee Gees. When she declines, he’s not deterred from showing off his dance moves, which, quite frankly, are pretty hilarious. Everyone, Ahsan included, is hugely entertained as he laces his fingers and rolls his hands in a wavelike motion while gyrating his hips. If it was his plan to distract Claire from her iPad, it’s working. She’s mesmerized, staring at him as if he’s from another planet.

  Since he’s unable to convince Geena to be his partner, he holds out his hand to Carly, who surprisingly, accepts his invitation. Considering that Carly has never disco danced a day in her life, Seth’s doing a pretty good job of leading. Now that I think about it, he is five years older than Kiran, so I suppose he may have picked up this talent in high school.

  Kiran is leaning against the media cabinet with his arms crossed, a ginormous smile on his face.

  Carly lets go of Seth and moves toward Claire, where she lifts her from the floor and dances with her in her arms. The music has now gone from the Bee Gees to The Commodores’ “Brick House,” and Claire has the slightest of smiles on her face, having completely forgotten about whatever she was doing. She’s too enthralled with Seth at the moment, who puts one hand on the back of his head and swings his hips in a circular motion.

  “Anna?” He now holds out his other hand to me.

  “Go on, Anna!” Kiran calls. “I know you danced with your dad as a girl.”

  I cover a smile with my hand. Considering it for a moment, I bow my head, before abruptly breaking into my hitchhike move, leaning back and forth into my extended thumbs. For added sexiness, I include the white man’s overbite. Seth, in return, does the classic egg beater, rolling one arm over the other as he approaches me.

  At this point, Hayden’s had a few, so he joins in, waving his arm in the air like he’s swinging a lasso. Before long we’re all dancing, resembling some kind of sad circus. Despite the fact that this is clearly a funk fest, Richard grabs Luke and leads him across the floor, tango style. Ever the sophisticate!

  Claire has since wriggled herself out of Carly’s arms and stands in the center of our homemade version of Soul Train. Though technically not participating, there’s the tiniest bounce to her knees as she watches with fascination.

  EIGHT

  Later that same night, I’m standing in front of the mirror, removing the peach fuzz from my face with my Panasonic Pivotal Trimmer. I never expected at the age of forty-eight, I’d be turning into an adolescent boy, but so is my life.

  Kiran comes through the open bathroom door and stops short. “What are you doing?” It’s the first time he’s witnessed this particular beauty ritual.

  I pause and look at him. “I hate to break it to you, but what you see here”—I pass a flat palm in front of my face—“requires substantial effort.”

  “What is that?” He takes the trimmer from my hand and examines it. Then he smiles. “Are you shaving?” There’s a hint of alarm in his eyes.

  Snatching it back from his hand, I laugh defensively. “No, I’m not shaving! Exactly.” I face the mirror. “Don’t worry. I’ve been doing this since before we met. It’s not going to give me stubble.”

  He shakes his head and wraps his arms around my waist from behind. “How are you feeling? Any better?”

  “Yeah, some. What about you?” I turn around and hold his drawn face in my hands. “You look exhausted lately.” Even now, his eyelids are heavy.

  He rests his chin on top of my head. “I am. It’s the heart meds kicking in, I’m sure. And I ache all the time now.”

  I pull back from him. “Is that normal? I don’t remember the doctor saying anything about achiness.”

  Kiran sits on the edge of the bathtub, his shoulders sagging. “He didn’t. I didn’t read any of the side effects at first, because I figured I’d start having them by power of suggestion. But when I started hurting all the time, I had a look. It’s the cholesterol medication.”

  “Great!” I lean on the bathroom counter. “Medication you don’t even need because your cholesterol’s fine. What happens if it gets too low?”

  He shrugs it off.

  I worry about him because he’s also lost some weight since the heart attack. How much, I don’t know. And the damn blood pressure medication is probably making his pressure too low as well, making him even more tired.

  “Come into the bedroom and I’ll rub your achy bod.”

  “No, it’s all right. You haven’t been feeling well today.”

  “Shut up. C’mon.”

  He takes my offered hand and I lead him to the bed. After he strips down to his boxers and lies on his stomach, I grab a bottle of lotion and straddle his hips. Warming the lotion between my hands a few seconds, I then smooth it onto his back and shoulders and press into his muscles. He groans. I work in silence for a little while before broaching the subject of Claire.

  “So what did you make of that scene of Claire’s tonight?”

  “What do you mean?” he mumbles.

  “You didn’t find it a little… disturbing?”

  He hesitates a few seconds. “Actually, I did. I can’t really say why. She is at the tantrum age, and I haven’t been around little children very much to know what’s normal.”

  “What about it did you find disturbing?” I want to know if we’re having the same concerns.

  He tries to roll over to answer my question.

  “Hey, stay put! I’m not done with you yet.” He’s so bloody solid I have to dig my knuckles into his flesh for him to feel anything.

  “I don’t know,” he continues. “She didn’t just seem mad, like you would expect. It was more like she was terrified. Like her very lifeline was being yanked away.”

  I stop rubbing his back for a moment and sit up straight. “I know. That’s what I saw, too. Like she had to finish whatever she was doing on that iPad. Do you think she could be OCD or something? Can kids that little have OCD?”

  “Not sure. What does Carly say?”

  “She and Jason think she might be autistic.” I turn myself around and start working on the backs of his thighs.

  “Oh God,” he moans. “You’re killing me.”

  “Is this too much? Am I hurting you?”

  “No. It’s a good kind of hurt.”

  “So do you think it could be autism?” I ask. “Geez, I hope she doesn’t have something serious like that!”

  “We shouldn’t jump to conclusions.”

  “I know. That’s what I told Carly.” I squirt some more lotion into my hands and start massaging his calves. “But God, things will be so difficult for the kids if that’s what it is. I never noticed these things until Carly pointed them out, but if you pay attention, rarely does Claire look you in the eye. And if given a choice, she always goes with doing something by herself rather than interacting with others. Those are both signs.”

  This time Kiran rolls over and sits up.

  “You got up before I finished.”

  “You’re worried,” he says and caresses my leg. “And after tonight, I am, too. But let’s wait until we know there’s something to worry about, okay?”

  Tight-lipped, I smile. “You’re right.”

  “Thanks for the rub down.” He gives me a slow kiss on the lips then takes me by the wrists and pulls me down next to him.


  “I wish I could do something for your pain. That sucks.”

  “My body just needs to adjust,” he says casually, then he rolls onto his side and props himself up on an elbow. “So what do you think of Seth?”

  My eyes grow large. “He’s definitely the life of the party!”

  Kiran laughs and lies flat on his back. “That he is. He wants me and you to go clubbing with him this weekend.”

  “Clubbing? As in, more than one? Aren’t we a little old for that?”

  “That’s what I said, but… I’d like for us to go. It would be fun. We could book a room again since we didn’t get to enjoy ours last time, and we wouldn’t have to drive home.”

  “I’ll go, if that’s what you want,” I say, touching his chest. “But are you sure you’re up for it? You’re still recovering, and I don’t want you to overdo it.”

  He holds my hand to his body. “We need to get out and have some fun. I feel old.”

  I laugh at his statement and kiss his shoulder. “Awww! Okay then. But how about we do one club, I’ll be the designated driver so you and Seth can drink as much as you want, and then I’ll take our butts home. My hormonal self can’t risk the massive headache from overindulging.”

  NINE

  I don’t know how the hell I made it up late enough for dinner with Seth and his companion.

  It had to be the nap. Would not have made it without it. And I made Kiran take one with me. Is that terrible? Someone should stop me from babying him too much. I’m his girlfriend, not his mother. But since his heart attack, I fear I’m becoming a little too smothering; it’s something I’m going to have to work on.

  We dine at Red Square in the Mandalay Bay which is just across the way from an upscale nightclub on the same property, where Seth has reserved a VIP booth for us later on. My stomach is in knots. I don’t do upscale. My idea of nightlife is taking in a movie at the Santa Fe Station Casino, grabbing a bite in the food court, and hitting the sheets by ten. However, I sip on my Lemon Drop martini and try to relax. Wasn’t I just saying to Kiran a few weeks ago that we should do touristy things more often? I need to enjoy this rare occasion.