by Tony White
He was standing up now and she was looking up at him from where she’d sat back down.
She couldnt do nothing but get up as if he reached out his hand and pull her up.
‘You cant go out now T,’ Ruji-Babes protested. ‘I thought we was going to bed man.’
Zafar think well you should a gone upstairs init if you gone upstairs Foxy-T never would a come back down is it so him pay her no mind and him never give T a second to answer he just look around and say, ‘We wont be long is it.’
Foxy-T just stop for a second and look at first one a them and then the other one. Like she didnt know who to go with. Ruji-Babes stand up now and all.
‘Its too cold man you gonna freeze in them thin clothes. I aint gonna let you catch cold.’
No one said nothing for a bit. Ruji-Babes was puff up her chest like a little boy what is corner in the playground.
‘No vex yourself Rooj,’ say Zafar. ‘Bit of fresh air never hurt no one. She can borrow my jacket init. Come on man.’
He was talk real sharp and angry even though him words not really vicious. And the fact he called Ruji-Babes ‘Rooj’ catch her off balance so she couldnt do nothing. Yet when him say ‘Come on man’ to Foxy-T he say it so quiet and nice that she got no choice but go with him.
And thats what she does init. She turn and walk towards the door where Zafar is now standing.
Ruji-Babes feel like she played all her card now and none of them is work. She feel them tears well up inside and she start fe shake and then bust out crying.
Foxy-T look round and start fe go comfort her like she done so many time before but Zafar have her hand now and he keep a tight hold and she cant move because deep inside whether she know it or not she dont want to move and go comfort Ruji-Babes.
‘Leave her init,’ say Zafar. ‘If she dont cry tonight she gonna cry some other time. Might as well be now init. Get it over with. Crying will make her feel better. Thats what she need man.’
And gently he pull Foxy-T after him out onto the hallway and she look back and see Ruji-Babes still stand there crying and not even really notice that she gone. Dont make no difference now if I go or not thinks Foxy-T. She gonna cry whatever.
When they get to the bottom of the stair Foxy-T just know what he gonna do but she still cant quite believe it. What him do is he start fe take off him jacket, but then stop and look up where the thief jacket hanging. He take it off the hanger init and drape it upon her shoulder. The smell of that leather swamp her for a second believe me. She feel suddenly light headed and completely took over by the smell of that thief jacket. Like she drowning or like she in someone else body with her new outfit on and all. It all feel totally different on her skin and she feel like she gonna faint for a second and like her head all clog up with that leather smell and she got that buzzing fuzzy feeling in her head. But then Zafar unlock the door and she get a shot of cold air in the face that wake her up and he keep walking and leading her outside and down them steps in to the yard. And as she walk down the step they can still hear Ruji-Babes how she cry upstairs and she stop and say, ‘Listen Zafar this is stupid man I got to go back and sort her out man.’
He let go her hand for a second and she turn and start walk back up the stairs. But then he reach up and stop her. He catch her arm and hold her fast.
‘Yeah T I know you is going back but you can just wait a bit.’
‘Let go of me,’ she say. ‘Ruji need me init. We broke her heart man. I got to go in.’
‘Why is you always do what that bitch want? I seen the way you do that init. What about your feelings T?’ him aks.
‘What?’
‘Your feelings is just as important as hers init. And my feelings.’
‘Your feelings?’
‘Yeah what you think you and me dont matter? No point wreck us and all man is it.’
And he took her hand and place it upon him cock as him stand there in front of her. Foxy-T like flinch for a second and cant believe he done this is it but she aint try fe move her hand now. She just cup her fingers under him balls and stroke them init. Feel her finger nail extensions scratch against the denim.
‘Listen man there more important thing in life than just run around and try not fe upset Ruji-Babes.’
She could feel Zafar cock get harder through him trousers now and feel him pulse in it and it seem like it flick a light switch in Foxy-T brain and also in her pussy init and it was only then she realise that him really mean what he say. This boy really want her init and he offering her him body. Foxy-T just catch her breath now init and she couldnt move at all then. And she forget about Ruji-Babes and all. Only thing she could think about was Zafar cock what she can feel all hot through him trousers and how much she want that cock right now.
Zafar never knowed this though is it and him broke the spell by putting his arm around her then and lead her back down into the yard. ‘Come on man we need to talk init. Tomorrow I gonna be back up Dagenham and we need to talk now before I go. And it nothing to do with her seen.’
He pull the door shut behind them so they couldnt hear Ruji-Babes sobbing and wailing upstairs and they went and sat down on the bottom stair like that.
Zafar took her hand and felt like he didnt want to let that go. Like he could just hold her hand and play with her fingers all night.
‘Lets get marry soon,’ he say.
But like I say soon as Zafar took her hand off him cock he broke the spell now init. Fe true this boy never knowed how to impress a woman is it. And she pull her hand away for a second and say, ‘We is being foolish Zafar and you know it man.’
She make as if fe look back up the steps and maybe was thinking of standing up then for a second and going inside to where she knowed Ruji-Babes was still cry even though they couldnt hear her no more. Zafar pick up on this and speak again to take her mind off thing.
‘Nothing foolish about this T,’ he say. ‘We could live out Dagenham and both get a job easy. You is wasting your life here init. I could get some like security job and you and your computer. Shit man theres always them type of job anywhere and you know it. We could find a nice like flat or whatever. Whats wrong with that T? Why is you think we foolish fe marry? I figure that you and me belong together init. I never think till now but I like the idea of someone be there for me all the time.’
‘If is just someone you after you know say you always find another girl init. Might be some girl whose into them same kind of runnings as you.’
‘Seen man I know init. But me wouldnt want them kind of girl. You is the only girl I ever met who I think them kind of thing about. We talking about are whole life now man. Them other girls aint even interested in that type of thing. They is too young and foolish not us T.’
‘You dont think them girls would want fe marry? Is that what you telling me Zafar?’
‘I dunno man. Maybe they would I dunno. But see listen when I think of my life ahead or whatever I want you in it man. Is you and me that belong together not just some girl or whatever.’
‘What if we dont belong together?’ Foxy-T was look at him in that quiet way of hers.
‘Yeah man but I think we do and I reckon you do and all.’
They sat there for a second. It was a cloudy night and there was no moon so just the orange lights of the city reflecting on them cloud above there heads. But up above them Zafar knowed was all the star and the lights of all them plane going this way and that. Some full of people go back home or go a holiday or start new life somewhere else and him feel strongly with them who was start new life elsewhere. And Zafar knowed that him and Foxy-T was also need to do that themselves. They was still holding hands and Zafar know say that a couple of days ago him would have try to fuck Foxy-T but something about the way she sat there in her new clothes and being a proper woman who want him too make him feel like him no better blow it now. For all that she was now sitting next to him like a proper woman who just trembling fe pick up him hand and put it on her hot pussy he really feel a bit afraid
or not really afraid but like it too important or something and that stop him reach across and put him hand on her tit or whatever. Him feel like there plenty time for them things now and no rush. Is also true fe say that him feel responsible for the way she suddenly become a proper woman and him better respect that now stead a take advantage like him might of done before. And in think them type a things he feel like perhaps him a man now himself and not a boy no more. Only him wrong init like I say cause him broke the spell.
Instead him pull out him pack of Silk Cut from him jacket pocket and just build a little spliff while they sit and talk. Him no make a strong number is it just a little single skinner fe top up what he smoke earlier on. Foxy-T aint smoke since she and Ruji-Babes was into them kind of runnings but she guess from long time that Zafar was into them thing and she no mind at all. It part of him youth and she like it. It make her feel like she had got a bit too old before her time in this kind of life she lead with Ruji-Babes. They is living like them parents she know now and they too young fe them kind of life. But in spite of them thing she was think she feel like they being honest now and so she say what she feel. And she still not sure if she ready fe trade that old life with Ruji-Babes fe the same type of life with Zafar.
‘Is you gonna tell you sister about us when you back in Dagenham, Zafar?’ Foxy-T aksed him.
‘No man me figure just play it cool. She no need fe know is it. Not yet man. I’ll just make out like I just got out of Feltham in it. She never know when me release due or nothing. Far as she know me just got out init. Then later maybe I’ll tell her after we is marry.’
‘No Zafar we is being foolish. We too young fe marry and thats a fact man you know it.’
‘Why is we being foolish?’ he aks. ‘You know we both want each other man.’
‘I dont know this whole thing.’
‘What cause its me is that what you saying? It foolish fe marry me?’
‘No is me who is being foolish,’ she say.
‘Dont you want fe get marry?’ him aks and light that little spliff.
‘I dunno man. That the problem seen. I dont think I feel strong enough either way. Nothing to do with me liking you thats just me I’m a talk about.’
Zafar take another toke and look at her. Him feel well out of his depth now and dont really understand what she mean at all. Foxy-T reach and take the spliff out of him hand and take a little toke herself then blow it out straight away.
‘You know say you happy fe sit here with me now though init?’ he aks.
‘Fe true Zafar I dunno man. Part of me maybe but then another part of me want fe go upstairs to Ruji-Babes. Yet another part of me want nothing to do with the both of you.’
‘I dont believe you man. You been looking for a way a split up with Ruji-Babes for a while now init. I seen you man. Even when you never knowed me watch. If you wasnt then you wouldnt have come out here with me and you know it. You no want fe go back up there and sleep with Ruji-Babes now is it? You want put you hand back on my cock and you know it man. Answer me true T.’
Foxy-T took another toke and hold it in for a bit longer this time. Then she look up at Norton House and think for a bit. They could hear a siren speeding pass down Cannon Street Road. Eventually she speak.
‘No I dont you right man. I dont want a sleep with Ruji-Babes tonight. You right about that.’
‘So that mean you dont really want to be with her init. You no want fe grow old together is it?’
Foxy-T felt that these was big thing them discuss but she feel some kind of relief now too because she had been think them thing for a while now but not even admit it to herself probaly.
‘No you right there and all man,’ she say. ‘We cant spend are whole life like this. I dont want fe grow old with her.’
‘And what about me? Can you imagine me and you be together when we old?’
‘Not like this Zafar no. Can I? No. I cant man.’ She thought about him youth and thing and realise that it partly him foolishness that she like about Zafar.
‘No,’ she say eventually. ‘I wouldnt want you to be old at all.’
‘Nothing wrong with getting old T,’ he say. ‘Is gonna happen whether we like it or not believe me. And I reckon say them thing easier if you is got someone a grow old with you init.’
‘Going down Shadwell on Monday morning fe collect are pension together and that. Stop it man you making me laugh.’
Zafar wasnt laughing. He never know how fe take her jokes is it. Way she talk make him think about two old people waiting in line at the post office and him lost for words. Eventually he say, ‘No I didnt mean that.’
‘Anyway I dont know what the difference between me and them other girl you keep talk about. I aint that much older than them or you is it. I aint even twenty five man. That aint old.’
‘I never said it was but you is different to them kind of girl.’
Zafar take another toke upon the spliff now but it nearly burn down and the smoke taste bitter. Is just the roach a burn. He grind it out under him trainer.
‘I aint though is it. You talking like I’m your mother.’
‘Dont take the piss,’ said Zafar.
‘I aint man.’
‘Good because these things I say is serious. And I aint joking man. We need to talk about these things serious too init.’
‘What so I cant laugh when I want to is that what you is saying?’
‘Kind of man. I dont know. I just know that when I say something serious then it kind of upset me if you take the piss. I dont mind a joke but I dont like being laugh at.’
Foxy-T let this sink in then say, ‘No Zafar I aint laugh at you.’
Zafar get a bit of a rush maybe from the spliff or maybe from what Foxy-T say to him. He look up and say, ‘You know I aint pissing about though init.’
‘Yeah I guess,’ say Foxy-T but she sound bored init and like she was just agree with him fe get a bit of peace. Fe true she was get bored a this conversation now and also she knowed that Zafar miss him chance. Him could a have her a few minutes back but him show that him just a foolish boy through not give himself to her when him had the chance and just talk about the future instead of the present.
All this was lost on Zafar though init and him no care about her tone of voice neither.
‘So we maybe get marry in like January or whatever?’
‘Yeah whatever man.’
He sat back and smile triumphant.
‘Wicked man. That’s it then. Sorted yeah.’
Then he sat there and say nothing just feel that triumph in every vein and every muscle and feel strong as the city all around them. It was like he was waking up or something. And he suddenly feel cold and realise that Foxy-T maybe cold and all. He stood up and shook himself off a bit. Dusted them bits of grit off the seat of him pants. Taking her hand he help Foxy-T up then turn and lead her back inside. Only before they went in the door he says, ‘Kiss me then init. Now we agreed you better kiss me.’
Then they kiss quick and nervous. And there nervousness make them both feel young and like they kissing for the first time. And there mouths are like cold there lips and that. It was late though now and they was both a bit tired.
Once they got back upstair to the flat Ruji-Babes was sit there on the sofa with the curtains open and no light on so the living room was all lit up orange from the street lights and she look around with her tired swollen eyes but say nothing. And him think that Ruji-Babes look like she hate them both but she also look like she broken and got no pride left or something.
To Ruji-Babes they both look well different. She couldnt put her finger on it but he seem alive in a way like she never seen before. While Foxy-T for all that she was standing there in front of her and was the same Foxy-T as ever but for all that she seem like she was far away and like she was hiding from Ruji-Babes. And Ruji-Babes maybe felt that Foxy-T was hide something from her or make herself distant and not be giving herself to Ruji-Babes no more.
‘I didnt think you
was coming back in,’ says Ruji-Babes.
‘Course we a go come,’ say Zafar. ‘Where was we gonna go?’
‘I didnt know,’ says Ruji-Babes. ‘Anything could have happen init.’
‘Seen,’ say Zafar. ‘Thats true enough man. A lot has happen. For one thing we is gonna get marry in January. We sorted everything out.’
‘Oh well I’m so fucking please for you two. I’m so fucking glad you sort things out,’ Ruji-Babes spit out the words like they taste bitter.
‘Yeah we is glad too init,’ say Zafar and choose to ignore Ruji-Babes sarcasm.
‘You ready fe bed T?’ aks Ruji-Babes.
‘You serious man? I’m exhausted init. Come on.’
Foxy-T look over at him after she say that and realise that she would rather stay down here with him even though she dont feel any more that they is really gonna get marry than she did before. For some reason it seem to Foxy-T that stuff she say to Zafar dont matter. Like she just say whatever in order fe get through the moment. But still she rather stay down and chat with Zafar than go upstair and have the row with Ruji-Babes that she know is coming. She feel like she wish it all already happen and they was marry and inspite of everything she feel like she happiest when they is together. So fe go upstair to bed and have to go through all the lie and game needed fe comfort Ruji-Babes seem like a big waste of time. She look at Zafar and hope he gonna say something. She hope he gonna aks her to stay downstair with him tonight. Also she remember how him cock feel when he put her hand there. He pick up on this because he feel close to her and he feeling something the same like wishing she didnt have to go through them lie and sleep with Ruji-Babes. It feel like she is reject him again even though she just accept him a few minutes ago down there on the steps in the yard. And because of this he aint sure how far he can go now. He already went to the edge man and there wasnt nothing left to push thing that far again right now. So he just look at Foxy-T and miss the point again and say, ‘Dont forget what we just promise each other T. You wont forget will you? Its sorted now init.’
