Bigfootloose and Finn Fancy Free

by Randy Henderson

  Though I knew better, I tried to reach out through that portal, not with my will but seeking out the resonance between my spirit and body, a path along which I might send my spirit back to my world. But it was like trying to see with my eyes closed.

  Silene looked at me. “Finn?”

  Go, I projected, though I wanted to scream ‘help me.’ I’ll … figure this out. But you should go while you can.

  Silene looked as if she might argue. Alynon stepped forward.

  “Ware, vassal,” he said. “The lack of inner control that led to your offense in the Quorum will only serve to lead you to mistakes in the human world, with equally disastrous outcomes. Do not waste the gift of life I give you now.”

  Silene looked from me to Alynon. “You have brought great shame to the Silver today, my Lord.” She filled that last word with all her disappointment and condemnation. Then she took Heimdallr’s outstretched hand and let him guide her into the portal. She dissolved as she touched it, melting into the surface of the barrier between worlds like an ice cube on a hot glass pan.

  I watched anxiously until Silene’s real body stirred in the world beyond, and she opened her eyes.

  “Close the portal,” Chauvelin said.

  Heimdallr waved his hand. The portal, my doorway home, began to close. Anxiety swelled within me, and I leaned back and forth as the portal shrunk, tried to see as much of the room beyond the portal as possible, and felt a huge surge of regret and sadness as it closed, cutting me off entirely from my world.

  And then I realized why. I was hoping against all hope that Dawn would be there for some reason, waiting for me. That I would get one last look at her.

  Trapped here, probably never to see her again, I realized I loved Dawn. Not just that I really liked her, and enjoyed the hell out of kissing her. I loved her. And I believed she loved me.

  I’d been afraid I was incomplete, or not the person she loved. But if she didn’t love who I was, she would have moved on. Dawn didn’t waste time on pointless efforts, and certainly didn’t open herself up to unnecessary pain.

  I knew that about her. I knew that I balanced that out in her, just like we balanced each other in a hundred other ways. In fact, I knew a lot about her, and I wanted nothing more than to spend my life learning everything else.

  Just as important, I realized that whether or not I knew who I had been with her before, I liked the person I was when I was with her now.

  And wasn’t that love? Not just the passing moments of affection and happiness, but the way that together you added to each other, brought out and nurtured and encouraged the best parts of each other? That was what Dawn did for me. And what I hoped I did for her.

  I was perfectly able to love.

  And I loved Dawn. I truly, deeply loved her. And all it took was the reality of losing her forever to make me admit it. Or, as Dawn would say, to stop being a friggin’ idiot.

  I laughed.

  “I am glad you find this funny,” Chauvelin said, smiling at me, “But I think you shall not be laughing for long, arcana. You are ours, now.”

  Really? That’s the best you can do? I replied, determined not to give up yet. I mean, there’s so many more menacing things you could say, like … ‘and now you shall be doomed to relive high school algebra forever!’ I shuddered. Seriously, even Ed Rooney was scarier than you.

  Chauvelin’s smug smile faltered slightly, then returned.

  Alynon sighed. “Careful, Finn. Chauvelin is not likely to be as patient with your idiocy as I was. He might just decide to absorb your memories and learn to be as clever as you think you are. Though that cleverness seems to have failed you, yes?” He looked away again. “A shame.”

  Chauvelin stepped closer to me, grinning his weasily grin, and said, “Phinaeus Gramaraye, I hereby place you under arrest for multiple crimes against our Realm, including the murder of our wardens on your previous visit, the death of multiple brightblood vassals, and the involuntary holding of an Aalbright against his will within your body.”

  What? None of those things were my fault! And both the Fey and the ARC cleared—

  “Your ARC claimed your innocence,” Chauvelin said. “And given our lack of jurisdiction in your world we had little choice but to concede to their proposed solution. But now you are here, and the Forest of Shadows will claim right to hold our own investigation into your past crimes. As for the more recent crimes against our own vassals—”

  Hiromi and Ned? They tried to kill me! I only defended myself!

  “—and your imprisonment of Alynon, the Colloquy shall determine your guilt.”

  Wow. It must have really pissed you off to have your plot with Hiromi exposed.

  “I spoke no lie in the Quorum. Whatever Hiromi’s orders, they came not from us. Though I cannot complain of their intent, and we shall most certainly and swiftly find who did send those orders, and they will regret using our vassals even more than you shall regret killing them.”

  I looked at Alynon. Alynon, come on. I know you want to stay here, I get that. And I’ll do what I can to get you back here. But you know what’s at stake. Pete, Vee, all the brightbloods. You can’t—

  “Don’t,” Alynon said. “Don’t use your family and the brightbloods to try and guilt me. This is about you and me. Here, at least we both have our own body, we can each live our own life. I gave you the chance to do what was right, what was fair, but you wouldn’t.”

  You think this is right and fair? I asked.

  “I released Silene, and have ensured your life,” he shot back.

  Gods, Alynon! At least promise me you’ll continue to look for a way to separate us. If I don’t have to be here for you to survive, you will get me sent back home, right?

  Alynon looked between me and Chauvelin. “I have asked as much of them, and will do what I can. I do not wish you punished, I only wish to live my life.”

  Chauvelin smiled. “Indeed. Now, shall we take you to your new home, arcana?” He bowed his head at Alynon. “And inform the Silver of your new allegiance, of course.”

  This is all part of your stupid game! I said to Chauvelin. Alynon’s defection, your being the one to hold an arcana for trial, especially one who appears aligned with the Silver, it all makes the Shadows look just that much stronger, and the Silver that much weaker. And it will distract from all that Silene shared with the Quorum.

  “Will it?” Chauvelin said, all innocence. “Why, I suppose it might at that. But I do what I do for all Aalbrights, not just my own advantage.”

  A portal opened, several feet to the right of where Heimdallr’s portal had been. Through it, I saw Verna’s laboratory at the ARC again. She stood with Silene and Pete around my body on its reclining bed. Pete held against my chest the Simon game artifact Father had given me, its colored pads all lit up and casting the spirit trap in the center in a rainbow glow. Pete pushed a sequence on the colored pads, and his lips moved as he muttered something. I felt a tugging.

  “What—?” Heimdallr said.

  “Close it!” Chauvelin replied.

  I felt my spirit lifting free of the Fey body, and as it did I projected at them all, Too late. I only wished I had enough control of my Fey body left to flip them off. I would just have to be happy remembering Chauvelin shaking Heimdallr furiously, his face going bright red. He was not an attractive screamer.

  “Stop!” Alynon shouted frantically. “Stop! You bastard!”

  I know you are, but what am I?

  26

  The End of the Innocence

  I flew through the portal, through the barrier between worlds, and back into my body.

  I felt a sensation, like my spirit was a rubber band being stretched to the point of breaking. Somehow, it still clung to Alynon in the Other Realm.

  And then it rebounded, and Alynon’s voice shouted in my head, *Noooo!*

  I’d played chicken with our lives, and won.

  I could understand Pete’s mumbling now. He was saying, “Two all beef patties, spec
ial sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame-seed bun.” It was the mantra he’d used since childhood to help him put his mind in the zone for performing necromancy.

  I blinked scratchy eyes slowly, and licked dry lips. “Well,” I said. “That worked.”

  *Damn you,* Alynon said, his tone despairing.

  “—Finn?” Pete said.

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh gosh!” he said. “I was so scared I didn’t do it right!”

  “You did perfect,” I said. “Close the portal, Verna.”

  “Done and done,” she said. I could feel the change in the air as the portal closed, like a steady hum that was suddenly silenced.

  *Why?* Alynon demanded. *Why couldn’t you just let me stay?*

  I held back my angry retort. I don’t want this any more than you. As soon as we return Silene to her tree and get back home, I will attempt the exorcism ritual.

  *But that might kill—* Alynon began, then fell silent.

  I didn’t want Alynon in my head. And whether I liked it or not, he had released Silene when he didn’t have to. He wasn’t evil. Demented and sad, but not evil.

  “Finn?” Silene asked.

  “What?”

  “I asked, how did you get free?”

  “Sorry,” I replied. “Well, I was worried Alynon or the Fey might pull something—”

  *If you hadn’t forced me—*

  “And so before I left, I gave Vee instructions on how to get me back using Father’s artifact.” Usually, summoning the spirit of a still-living person just resulted in a major headache. But the artifact made it so that my spirit being in the Other Realm was the same as if it were beyond the Veil. At least, that’s what I’d hoped, and it seemed to have proven true. Over there, other there, criss-cross spirit sauce. “Pete was able to summon me back as if I were dead. Thanks, Brother. I knew I could count on you.”

  Pete blushed.

  Verna took the Simon artifact from Pete’s hand, the lights now dim. “Quite clever, I must say. I would love to speak with your father about its design. It might prove quite handy should we ever need to pull someone else out of the Other Realm.”

  “I’m sure he’d like that,” I said. “Assuming he was lucid enough.”

  *I never heard you give Vee instructions,* Alynon said. *And I hear everything you do.*

  Not my private thoughts and memories, I replied. Remember when I had Vee make one last attempt to help me recover my lost memories before we left for the Other Realm? I may have snuck in a message to her.

  *You—damn.*

  Silene sank onto a stool. “Have we failed to stop the Shadows?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “Hopefully the Silver Court will be able to prevent war at least. They’ll warn the Silver Archons of the Shadows’ attempt to manipulate or frame their clans. And the ARC will be looking more closely at any supposed crimes by Silver brightbloods. I’m not sure there’s any more for us to do. Awareness is our best defense now, assuming it isn’t too late.”

  * * *

  Our trip into the Other Realm had lasted half a day in real time. Cold moonlight and chill night air greeted us as we left the Snoqualmie Falls Lodge shortly after 11:00 P.M. Silene agreed to let Pete and me drive her to Elwha rather than traveling the hidden bright blood routes of tunnels and fairy paths, since we could not be certain of her safety from the Shadows brightbloods.

  We piled into the old family hearse, with Pete driving. Despite my body having slept the day away while my spirit was in the Other Realm, I dozed for two hours on the drive. We reached the Elwha Dam trail at one thirty in the morning.

  It was officially Tuesday now. The day Pete and Vee were expected to pledge to a Demesne or be declared rogue feybloods. And I still had no idea how to keep them safe, or what choice I’d make in their place.

  Pete stayed in the car, since we couldn’t be certain how the Silver brightbloods would react to a waerwolf at this point, and I escorted Silene along the path to her tree.

  “Something is not right,” she said as we walked.

  I looked up into the tree-covered hillside. The moonlight gave the gently swaying evergreens a surreal halo, but most of the forest remained utterly black and held its secrets close. Below us, the Elwha ran merrily along its channel, splashing around rocks and the occasional fallen tree. I saw no other living creature except two clouds of gnats who chased each other across the faint dirt path in a swirling dance.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “I do not know, but we should have been greeted by now.”

  “Maybe they’re all waiting to jump out and yell ‘welcome home’?” I asked hopefully.

  “Unlikely,” Silene replied.

  “Yeah, I thought that was a stretch.” I pulled the collapsible baton out of the back pocket of my jeans, but did not extend it.

  Silene and I reached her clearing. Still no brightbloods in sight. Just her tree, swaying in the moonlight on the river’s shoreline.

  And her tree had been yarn-bombed. Dark yarn wrapped in tight lines from the base up the trunk at least six feet.

  “Ash and fire!” Silene said, anger making her voice shiver as she marched toward the tree. “When I get hold of that sasquatch, I’m going to—”

  The roar of a half-dozen battle cries cut her off as brightbloods charged out of hiding all around the clearing. Challa loped at us with a savage look on her face. Dunngo rode his wave of earth straight for me, because of course. And several others—two fauns, a man with buck antlers, and the waerbear—charged with them.

  “Stop!” I shouted, and flicked the extending baton. Form Blazing Sword!

  “Cousins!” Silene said. “Halt!”

  Her words fell on deaf ears, most of them pointy or fur-covered ears and all of them mere inches away from eyes filled with Clubber Lang craziness.

  Silene ran for her tree.

  All of the brightblood altered their direction to intercept her.

  The tree leaned toward Silene, and she lifted her hand. If she made contact with it, she could join with it and easily defend herself against the entire gang, except perhaps Challa.

  I raised the now-glowing baton, ready to strike the first brightblood who attacked me.

  Sal staggered out from behind Silene’s tree, and then leaned heavily against the trunk.

  He was naked.

  By naked, I mean his fur had been shaved off, leaving only pale gray-tan skin, and a small strip of fur around his waist that hung down like a loincloth. And there were a number of nasty-looking cuts across his chest, arms, and legs that were far too large to be from shaving, even if he was as bad as me with a razor.

  Sal shouted, “Stop! Herself be realtrue Silene.” His voice carried over the shouts of the charging brightbloods, and their charge slowed in jerking strides until they closed around us cautiously. Silene stopped short of her tree as well, staring at the injured sasquatch.

  “Sal!” I said, striding toward him. “You okay? What’s going on!”

  “And what in the moon’s name did you do to my tree?” Silene demanded.

  “He save tree,” Dunngo rumbled, and stopped several feet away from Silene, his obsidian eyes narrowed. “You is you?”

  “Who else would I be?” Silene asked.

  “The jorōgumo,” Challa replied. “Badbright spider came, looking like youself, and tried to bighurt youself’s heart tree.”

  For a second, I feared that Hiromi had somehow, impossibly, returned. But then I realized it must be her little sister Kaminari, the girl who liked to jump rope, rhyme, and threaten to eat us. That made me feel no better at all.

  “She attacked my tree?” Silene asked, true fear in her voice, and resumed walking briskly toward it.

  Dunngo, Challa, and the rest followed her, and I trailed behind.

  “Like say,” Dunngo said. “Seeahtik save tree. He champion.”

  Silene reached her tree, and put her hand on the yarn. “This is your hair,” she said to Sal in a surprised vo
ice.

  He nodded. “Seeahtik hair is bigstrong. Protects tree.”

  “You—” Silene looked at Sal. “Thank you. Your wounds, they are from protecting my tree as well?”

  Sal shrugged, in that same self-deprecating golly-gawrsh way that Pete sometimes did, and looked down at his feet, still in their boots but looking even odder now with his stubbly legs. “Youself healed me. And went away to help all brightbloods. Youself have a bigbright heart, and I did not want heart to die.”

  “I—you are my champion for true,” Silene said. “Come, let me heal your wounds.”

  Sal shook his head. “I not worst. Others need youself more.”

  “Others?” Silene demanded.

  Dunngo nodded with the sound of scraping stone. “Take to cave. Two bad hurt. One very bad. And two dead.”

  “The jorōgumo did all of that?” I asked, surprised.

  “No,” Sal said. “The spider-shifter came first time and only tried reaching the tree by fake-facing Silene. But I know herself not be true.”

  “You—how did you know she wasn’t really Silene?” Not even Veirai had realized when Hiromi had shapeshifted into Silene, and she’d known Silene well.

  Sal looked embarrassed. “Silene smells like sunshine and … heart home. Jorōgumo smelled like moths and crazy. I not letting herself reach tree, so herself fled, and returned with many shadowbrights.”

  “But we fight!” Dunngo said.

  “And Saljchuh protected tree,” Challa said.

  “The spider-shifter will come back with more shadowbrights,” Sal said. “Herself seeks blood vengeance against Silene for sister’s death. And many Silver brightblood are death-sick with Grayson’s Curse, theyself cannot fight.”

  This was exactly the kind of escalation we’d been trying to prevent. I felt like I’d just Quantum Leaped into Sisyphus.

  “Oh boy,” I muttered.

  Silene’s shoulders slumped. “A shadowsbright seeking blood vengeance cannot be easily stopped.”

  “Stopped, no,” I said, remembering Kaminari’s crazy eyes. “But … maybe it can be deflected onto someone else. If she learns that someone faked orders from the Forest of Shadows and tricked Hiromi into trying to hurt you and your clan, maybe she’ll see that you actually have a common enemy.”