No Wife Required!

by Rebecca Winters

  “She wants to talk about football and romance. I have a feeling we’re in for a provocative half hour. Lorraine—” His eyes impaled her. “The audience is as curious as I am to know why you’ve chosen those two particular topics as a lead-in for tonight’s show.”

  Lacey had to give Max Jarvis full marks for diplomacy. She’d been waiting for him to make a cutting remark about the fact that she hadn’t published a book or distinguished herself in any way to merit being a guest on his show.

  But he didn’t use those kinds of tactics. As far as she could see, he was open, fair, honest, decent, and he definitely lived up to her image of The Voice.

  Clearing her throat, she said, “Last week you sided with dozens of men callers who complained about the large number of women who waste their time going to romantic movies and reading romance novels. You said, and I quote, ‘The story lines are boring and repetitious because all the two people ever do is fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after.’”

  He grinned. “I did say that.”

  She schooled her features not to let his charisma disturb her train of thought. “The same point could be made that men waste their time watching soccer or football. The plays are repetitious and boring, and everyone knows either side A or side B is going to win. At least in a romance, everyone goes home happy after the game is over.”

  His eyes were dancing. “That’s true. And my producer is signaling me that all the lines are lit up, anxious to jump in. You’re on the line, Anna.”

  It was difficult, if not impossible, to remain irritated with him. Later he conceded defeat with such good-natured humor, when he asked her to stay the last hour of the Heart Talk segment, Lacey agreed.

  Unfortunately she didn’t realize until too late that she’d been lured into a trap. The second he opened up the last hour, he went for the jugular.

  “I know our loyal listening audience has been hoping to hear more about your painful story, Lorraine. For those of you who weren’t tuned in last week, I opened up my show with a statistic about the large percentage of women making up today’s workforce outside the home.

  “When I asked why more women weren’t at home while their husbands faced the cruel working world, Lorraine gave us a very sobering response, then hung up before we could explore her story in-depth.”

  He stared her down. “With a week to think about it, are you now prepared to tell us if you were the betrayed wife or girlfriend of the man who hurt you? There are thousands of sympathetic listeners out there who want to know.”

  Lacey’s gaze darted to the opal ring on his finger. “I might be persuaded to discuss my story if you were willing to let your listeners in on your marital status first,” she challenged. “You never talk about a wife and family. Does that mean you’re not married?”

  The brilliant blue of his eyes intensified. “I make it a policy never to discuss my personal life over the air.”

  “Don’t you think that’s rather hypocritical when you’ve just asked me to reveal something extremely personal?”

  The corner of his mouth lifted. “Why do you want to know if I’m married or not, Lorraine?”

  She sucked in her breath. “I imagine everyone who listens to your show wants to know.”

  “I find that a little hard to believe since I have no curiosity about the marital status of my callers.” His voice mocked. “That’s the beauty of Radio Talk. We block out the unimportant and tune in to real issues affecting lives.”

  “Your marital status is a real issue as far as I’m concerned since it might explain your viewpoint on dozens of subjects in which you and I have a tendency to disagree.”

  “Name one.”

  “Living together. If you’re not married, then I can see why you sided with last week’s guest. If you are married, then I don’t imagine your wife is too happy with some of your opinions.”

  “I wonder if my other callers are as curious as you are. Let’s go to the Utah county line. Hi, Nancy. You’re on Heart Talk with Max Jarvis.”

  “How are you doing, Max?”

  “I’m terrific, Nancy. Now is the chance to get in on this illuminating discussion.”

  “Say, you know Lorraine has a point. I figure you’re happily married, otherwise you wouldn’t have asked that question about what ever happened to the woman who stayed at home while her hubby went off to bring home the bacon.”

  Lacey watched his face, but his expression gave nothing away.

  “Are you married, Nancy?”

  “You bet ya. Forty years, to the same man.”

  “Did you stay at home all that time?”

  “Nope. He was a truck driver, but we couldn’t make ends meet so I drove a school bus nearly all that time to help pay the bills.” She paused. “Lorraine? Are you there?”

  “Yes, Nancy.” Lacey spoke into the mike. “I’m listening.”

  “Good, honey. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I can tell you’re in pain. To be honest with you, I guess I’ll never know if my hubby ever played around with another woman or not. But if I had found out, I probably couldn’t have changed anything, not with six kids.

  “You sound pretty young. If your husband did step out on you, he’ll probably do it again and again. If you don’t have kids yet, then I say leave him if you haven’t already, and find a job that will take care of you. Good luck, honey.” The older woman sounded totally sincere.

  “Thank you, Nancy,” Lacey murmured quietly.

  “All right,” Max interjected. “Let’s go to one of our local lines. Hello, Stan. You’re on Heart Talk. Have you got something you want to say to Lorraine?”

  “That’s right. Lorraine? Your voice is sexy as hell and you’re probably in your early twenties. I bet you’re a real looker and single. What’s your take on that, Max?”

  Max flicked her a probing glance that made her heart turn over. “As my producer said earlier, if this were a television show, Lorraine would have no problem in the looks department. That’s as much as I can legally reveal.”

  “Okay, Lorraine. Then let’s face it, there are a lot of married men out there who would like to get to know you, but the huge majority will never act on that desire.

  “If you’re single, it’s a given that a small percentage of married men will lie to get what they want. But don’t blame all of us.

  “If you’re married, then it sounds to me like your husband is a fool for straying so far from home, unless you’ve got something going on behind the scenes while he’s out there earning money to support both of you.”

  “Single or married, I would never do that to a man with whom I was having a relationship. I’d break up with him first!” she countered indignantly.

  “Unfortunately, statistics don’t lie and there are husbands who go home to their wives, only to find them involved with someone else,” Max inserted so swiftly, Lacey wondered if his remarks were rooted in personal experience.

  “It happened to my brother,” Stan muttered.

  “Thanks for the input, Stan. I’m sorry we don’t have more time to talk, but the phone lines are jammed with callers and I have to go to commercial. We’ll be right back.”

  For the rest of the hour, people continued to call in with all kinds of advice for her, and the time was gone before she knew it. The talk show host for the six-to-nine segment had already come into the booth to get ready.

  Lacey removed her earphones and rose to her feet, picking up her briefcase to leave.

  “Where do you think you’re going in such a big hurry?” Max stood in the corridor outside the booth door, larger than life, blocking her exit. “After winning the poll on every issue hands down, the least you can do is have a drink with me on the way home so I’ll feel a little better.”

  “You don’t fool me,” she murmured. “You loved every minute of your defeat.”

  “You’re right,” he grunted. He folded his arms across his chest. “You saw the note Rob stuck on the window. We had a dozen fi
rst-time callers. The owner of the station will probably give me a raise. He wants you to come on the show again. So do L How about next week? The listening audience loved you. You’re one of them.”

  Her pulse was racing too fast. “Thank you, but I’d like to stay a listener. I appreciate you giving me time on your program however. With your sense of fair play, I can see why you were brought to Salt Lake.”

  Something flickered in the depths of his eyes. “You have my permission to call in any time and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. That is—” his sensuous mouth quirked “—if you’ll give me equal time. I’m off for the night. Will you go out with me?”

  A long time ago Perry had asked her the same question and she’d said yes. A month later she found out about his wife and children. Max Jarvis was tempting. She was tempted. But...

  “I make it a policy not to go out with a man who can’t reveal his marital status over the air.” She glanced at her Mickey Mouse watch. After all these years it still worked perfectly, while two other expensive Swiss watches sat broken in her jewelry box. “I’m also a half hour late for home already.”

  “Another time then,” he declared as if it were a statement of fact, then walked her to the front door. “We didn’t explore the football versus romance angle enough. I’d like to hear the rest of that argument sometime soon. I’ll call you.”

  She started to say, “don’t bother,” when she was interrupted by his producer.

  “Lorraine—don’t forget your lotion. Lon Freeman heard about what you said. He called in to tell me to give you a free sample. It’s really good stuff. Try it on your legs. Not that they need improvement or anything.”

  Max Jarvis’s all-encompassing gaze did a swift inventory of her legs, which suddenly felt as shaky as rubber. This time her face went hot.

  “Thank you very much. If it works those purported miracles, I’ll call in with my own testimonial, but don’t hold your breath.”

  She turned to Max. “Thank you, Mr. Jarvis. I didn’t expect to enjoy this evening so much.”

  A mysterious gleam entered his eyes. “The surprise was all mine, Lorraine. Good night.”

  Shaken by their meeting, Lacey hurried out to the car and sped all the way to the supermarket located a few blocks from the condo. Every time she thought of Max Jarvis, which was pretty constantly, a spurt of adrenaline shot through her system.

  She’d given him a chance to tell her the truth, but he hadn’t taken it. No man that attractive was still single. He had to be married, or living with a woman, she groaned inwardly. To waste her time fantasizing about him would be absurd. The only way to get over him was to stop listening to the radio during his show.

  Later, when she stood in line at the counter, a voice she’d know anywhere murmured, “I’m glad I found out you’re a vegetarian. I was going to ask you out for a steak dinner next week.”

  Shocked, Lacey turned around and discovered Max Jarvis standing behind her, staring at her groceries; lettuce, sunflower seeds, greens, and yogurt. Her heart was being given the greatest workout of its life.

  Her fear that he might have a wife at home prompted her to put an end to this right now. “Did you follow me here?”

  His features hardened perceptibly. “I hate to disappoint you, but the answer is no. This is where I shop.”

  That was funny. She always bought her groceries here, but this was the first time she’d ever seen him on the premises.

  “Interestingly enough,” he drawled, “the thought did occur to me that you had followed me. Have you changed your mind about going out for a drink?”

  “No!” she defended hotly, then had to force herself to calm down. “I shop here, too. I—I’m sorry if I jumped to conclusions.”

  Embarrassed and out of sorts, she avoided his narrowed gaze and waited nervously in line to pay for her groceries.

  “Hello.” The cashier grinned at her. “You’re looking mighty fine tonight.” The college freshman had been trying to get a date with her for the last year.

  “How are you, Roger?”

  “Better now that you’ve shown up,” he said as he bagged her groceries. “I’ve got two fifty-yard-line tickets to the game Saturday afternoon. How about it?”

  “Roger—I was playing football with the kids on the block before you were born. Try asking a girl your own age.”

  “Girls my own age don’t interest me.”

  “How many times have I told you that I make it a habit not to date a boy young enough to be my little brother? Have a good evening.”

  She paid for her groceries and left, all the while conscious that Max had heard every word of their conversation. At least now he knew she was a regular customer at this store and couldn’t accuse her of following him.

  “You were pretty rough on Roger, weren’t you?” came the distinctive sound of his voice directly behind her. “Boys his age have fragile egos.”

  Lacey swung around in the middle of the crowded parking lot. “His is about as fragile as concrete. He may look innocent, but he picks up desperate older women on a regular basis.”

  “That’s because he’s terrified of girls his own age. Think about that and let him down a little more gently next time. Whoever hurt you did a fairly thorough job of it. You’ve left a couple of bleeding victims in your wake and the night’s not even over yet.”

  A couple of bleeding victims, she grumbled silently as she wheeled away from him and found her car. A man who refused to be honest about his marital status wasn’t capable of being a victim and definitely didn’t deserve the time she spent thinking about him....

  CHAPTER THREE

  “COME on. It’s late and I’ve a full day’s work tomorrow. Let’s go.”

  Lacey bundled George in a quilt like a baby and headed home from the park across the street from the condo. She tossed the sack which had contained his dinner into the garbage can on the way.

  After having watched him eat greens, the thought of a steak dinner with Max Jarvis sounded more and more enticing. But he’d probably never call her now.

  It had been a couple of hours since she’d walked away from him in the supermarket parking lot. If by some miracle he did try to phone her, she would ask him politely if he were married. No sense wondering about the hotshot from California with the hot blue eyes if he belonged to someone else, if not in spirit and body, on paper. No more Perrys in her life. Not ever!

  Once again exhausted, Lacey put George to bed in his basket, then slid beneath the covers of her own bed as soon as they returned to the condo. She didn’t know anything else till the phone rang the next day around ten. George had been playing with his hoop at the side of her bed and handed her the receiver.

  She patted his head and said hello.

  “Hi, Lacey. It’s Lorraine.”

  “Hi! How are you? What does the doctor say?”

  “That’s why I’m calling. He’s given me a new medication he hopes will work. He doesn’t think I’m allergic to George after all. But he does think the shampoo I’ve been using may be the culprit. Can you believe it? It’s the same shampoo I use to bathe George.” She named the brand.

  “That’s what I use,” Lacey murmured, “but it hasn’t made me break out in a rash or hives or anything.”

  “Well, it’s only a theory, but I hope he’s right. Listen. I’m going to come over right now and get George, keep him for the weekend. You haven’t bathed him yet, have you?”

  “No. Sometimes I let him play in the plastic tub you brought over. But I haven’t let him use the shampoo. The only soap he has touched is that liquid stuff. What do you think?”

  “Good. The doctor wanted to be sure he hadn’t been near my shampoo for at least a week.”

  “You’re taking him for the whole weekend?”

  “What’s the matter? Do I detect a note of relief in your voice?”

  “Don’t get me wrong, Lorraine. He’s wonderful and perfectly behaved, but I’m beginning to understand why new mothers always loo
k so harried and exhausted.”

  Lorraine chuckled. “It’s a huge responsibility. I take it you’ve decided not to volunteer as a foster parent to another monkey.”

  “I don’t think so. He needs a home with lots of room and a backyard where he can play. Every time I get down to work on someone’s accounts, he wants to help. I end up playing with him and accomplish nothing.

  “But I wouldn’t have missed the experience for the world. Someone other-abled will adore him because he’s so loving and good. I had no idea how much he craves companionship.”

  “He’s just like the rest of us. Lacey—you’re a friend in a million. I’m confident that I’ll have George home with me permanently a week from Tuesday. When’s Valerie due back?”

  “I’m not sure. Maybe a month. Maybe less.”

  “I’ll help you find a new place when the time comes to move. Has George missed me?”

  “I’ll say. But I think he’s had a pretty good time with me.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of. You’ve spoiled him rotten, I just know it. I can’t wait to see him. Which reminds me. You know that guy on the radio you can’t stand? Max Jarvis?”

  “Yes?”

  “I think he called my house by mistake a few minutes ago.”

  Lacey sat up in bed, instantly alert. “He called?”

  “Yes. He said, ‘Hi, Lorraine. This is Max.’ And I said, ‘Max who?’ and he said, ‘Max Jarvis. How many other men do you know named Max?’ And I said I didn’t know any. That’s when he got a little testy and asked me if my phone number was the same number he read out loud, and I said yes.

  “So he started over and said he was trying to reach someone named Lorraine but he didn’t know her last name. I told him my name was Lorraine Walker. He said I was the wrong Lorraine because my voice wasn’t husky enough. Then he hung up. He was really riled. Don’t you think that’s funny? Max Jarvis of all people?”

  Lacey closed her eyes. “That’s really funny, Lorraine.” How could she have been so stupid? When the producer at the radio station asked for her name and phone number, she gave him Lorraine’s. But she’d forgotten to tell Lorraine.