by Jessie G.
“I didn’t invite Kip Veil to our table.” Javier kicked him under the table, another thing he planned to ignore. “Want to try again, or was this a waste of everyone’s time?”
Chase muttered something that had Kip glaring at him and then he did it. He tossed that head just right and got bonus points for adding a condescending sneer. “I guess we’ve all had our time wasted. Kip Veil is all that’s available tonight.”
Suddenly Saul felt like a crack addict jonesing for his next hit. How far into the role could this little contradiction go? “Then you should run along. If you find anyone else back there that might be more to my liking, send him my way.”
“Yeah, good luck with that.” Kip turned on one heel and started marching away.
“Sir,” Chase started and stopped, clearly frustrated with his friend.
Before Saul could reassure the boy, Kip turned and stomped back. “I’m not into games and neither is my cousin here. So what’s the point of inviting me over and then turning me away?”
Fuck, but he was gorgeous all riled up. That ice melted under the flames of his anger, changing the color of his eyes once again. How many different shades was he capable of? How many could Saul bring out? When Saul didn’t immediately answer, those small, capable hands clenched into tight fists and he literally shook with emotion.
“I’m not the one playing a game, little boy,” Saul mused, ignoring Chase’s gasp. Cousins? Yes, Saul could see the resemblance. “My invitation was for the man we met in the café yesterday. Adorable little blond with the brightest blue eyes and the biggest smile—he just lit up the room. My partner here fell asleep talking about how hot he’d look between us, getting fucked from both ends and screaming our names as he came all over himself. Javi’s just begging for a taste, aren’t you, pequeño?”
“I’d love a taste.” Javier licked his lips slowly.
“I...I...fuck.” Just like that all the fight left him and when he shook again, it was all nerves.
Saul slipped out of the booth, sparing a quick glance for Chase. “He’s safe with me.”
Chase grinned mischievously. “I certainly hope not, Sir.”
Unable to resist, Saul walked a slow circle around the boy, noting every tell that broadcasted his fear. No, fear wasn’t the right word. Javier came from a place of fear; this perfect little morsel had a serious case of nerves. Saul knew neither was easy to overcome but, having seen the Kip Veil act, he knew the boy was capable of controlling it. Javier had never mastered that trick.
Saul stopped when they were face to face, or face to chest. Height had never been a particular turn on or off for him, but he could privately admit that he was getting a thrill out of towering over the boy. Where Javier always appeared fragile to him, Kip looked strong in a tight, compact and deceptively petite way. Saul gripped that square chin, encouraging Kip’s head up. He’d come to accept that Javier would always brace himself and knew that it wasn’t a rejection of him, but of the past that was never far from the surface. Having this obviously nervous stranger accept his touch without flinching reminded him how desperately he needed that acceptance.
“What’s your real name?”
“I’ll tell you on one condition.” Kip focused on his eyes, searching for reassurances.
Wanting more of that unflinching acceptance, Saul let Kip see it all—the desire, curiosity and darkness—and damned if he wasn’t turned on by this new challenge. “What condition?”
“You never call me—” Kip sucked in a deep, trembling breath, making the rest of the words a harsh whisper. “—little boy again.”
“Are you always so eager to show your vulnerabilities?”
Those blue eyes lit with something that looked like trust. Not five minutes ago he looked like a lamb being led to slaughter; it was ridiculously soon for him to flip like that. “You forget I saw you with your partner in the café. You want my vulnerabilities, don’t you? To take care of, to exploit. I want something too, so what’s the point in withholding what you want?”
The thrill that shot down his spine was spectacular. Yes, he very much wanted to care for and exploit those vulnerabilities. Saul would start with the ones he was offering up, and then he’d take great satisfaction in uncovering the ones Kip thought he was protecting. “What do you want?”
“To be fucked from both ends until I’m screaming both your names. Then I want your partner to lick me clean while I lick you clean.” His eyes glazed over as if he was imagining that very thing. “Then, I want to do it again and again until I don’t know my own name. Do we have a deal?
“Not until you tell me what you really want.” While Saul didn’t doubt that he was getting hot thinking about it, it was clear this was more of the Kip Veil act and Saul wanted the truth. No one bartered vulnerabilities for sex, no one. When he shuttered those ever-changing eyes, Saul’s grip on his chin tightened. “Look at me when you answer.”
“I want…” Frustration colored his expression as he tried to articulate whatever was going on in his head. “I want…” The anticipation ratcheted up the ache in Saul’s balls until they were screaming for release. “I want what I see in your eyes...Sir.”
CHAPTER 9
Javier
Javier couldn’t remember the last time he’d been disappointed in Saul. Maybe never. Right in that moment, though, the disappointment was crushing. He hadn’t been able to get the blond out of his head. Even after they made love, visions of that hot body in their bed had him curling up against Saul, fantasizing out loud about the man. A year ago, when he’d brought up the prospect of a third, Saul hadn’t been very open to the idea. Being the person forced to deliver Javier to the next man who had paid for his body left Saul unreasonably possessive. Anyone who dared to look at him wrong was taking their lives in their hands. Alternately, seven years of Saul’s unwavering devotion had left Javier jealous of anyone he thought would come between them. Those issues were very real and still he believed if they went into it together, then for the right person they could set those jealous feelings aside.
As they lay curled together, sated and relaxed, Saul had listened to his fantasies in relative silence. It wasn’t until morning that Javier realized his own stupidity. They’d finally made love and the first thing he did was bring up another man. It hardly mattered that Saul’s body stirred as he waxed on about how hot the man would look with them, Javier knew that on some level he had to be hurt and insulted, and his fears were confirmed when he sought Saul out to apologize. There was an air of resignation about him, a twinge of sadness in his smile, as Saul promised it was all good. Javier knew it was just another little white lie to keep him from feeling guilty. He had a love-hate relationship with those little white lies. On the one hand, it was just another level of protection he enjoyed with Saul. On the other, Javier hated knowing the man he loved protected him by hiding his own pain.
Then Saul walked away saying the hot little blond would look great sucking his dick. So, insulted and turned on, Javier figured it was as good a place to start as any. Of course at that point the man had just been a symbol of what was possible. Someone they could both be attracted to. Javier hadn’t given any thought to the possibility that they would see him again, so it was a pleasant shock to see him on the dance floor that night. It only took a few minutes of watching to know he was out of his element. He just looked so bright and, for lack of a better word, innocent, in the dark club. Even when Chase told them his name and Javier realized who he was, that impression hadn’t changed. When his bright, happy-to-see-them smile withered and died, Javier wanted to race across the club and hug it all better.
Then Saul just sat there. He fucking sat there instead of going to get their man. In his mind, it was simple—Saul should have been across the club doing what he does. Protecting, comforting, being the foundation he was so good at being. Instead he sent the waiter to do his job. The fucking waiter! To say he was crushed was a gross understatement. Logically, he knew what Saul would say. The man was a stra
nger and the first one they both had a mutual interest in. There was no basis on which to pin his hopes and he hadn’t had any...right up until their paths crossed again. Twice in two days. Not just any two days, either, two big days!
What were the odds that this total stranger he wasn’t supposed to get his hopes up for would appear in their lives on the day he and Saul finally...finally...made love? Not just on the day, but at the exact moment of their first kiss? Seven years, millions of potential moments to have their paths crossed, but it didn’t happen until that moment? Coincidence just seemed like a handy excuse to dismiss the possibilities.
But then...then to have him here tonight, Master Saul’s first night back in the BDSM scene. The way the host gushed, the deferential nods from other Doms as they walked past, the reverent bow and scrape from respectful subs—Saul had a presence and a reputation that hadn’t diminished. If possible, he stood taller and looked more gorgeously fierce under the adulation. In the midst of all that, there he was—a bright, beautiful light shining on Master Saul’s return. Coincidence again? That was for logical thinkers. He was a lot of things, insane mostly, so logic was rarely a factor.
Javier could tell Saul was getting frustrated as he continued to push. Understanding that it had to be Kip’s choice was fine, it didn’t change what he wanted. He felt like a petulant five year old, was just short of stomping his feet, but he couldn’t stop pushing. Just when he was sure it was over before it had a chance to begin, he saw Chase coming back across the club with their boy in tow. Their boy. Yes, yes, he’d gone that far in his thinking.
Kip was stunning, sin in a perfect bite-sized portion, and boy did he ever want to take a bite. Could literally feel the saliva pooling in his mouth until he thought he might embarrass himself by drooling. What he needed to do was take a page out of Saul’s book, pretend casual interest and not give anything away. Who was he kidding? He wasn’t even remotely capable of that kind of pretense. Best he could do was sit there silently and try not to squirm in excitement.
Saul would be smooth, seductive, and entice their man...what the fuck? What the fucking fuck? Run along? Run along? No, no, no, how could Saul send him away? Never, ever, in their relationship had he struck out at Saul, but he had to do something. Saul barely acknowledged the kick and his heart sank when Kip started marching away. He was so close to breaking his silence, to defying Saul, when Kip swung back around to confront them.
Javier found himself holding his breath in awe. Kip was fearless, going toe-to-toe with Saul, something Javier would never dare and he knew Saul would rather die than hurt him. Their boy was amazing, stunning, bold…and just look at them together! Dark and light, big and small...such delicious contrasts. Javier didn’t even need to close his eyes to envision those contrasts naked and feared he was going to explode just thinking about it.
Their conversation was hushed, but he had every confidence that Saul was reeling their man in. If they worked together, Kip, or whatever his real name was, wouldn’t be able to resist them. Excitement had him sliding around in the booth, wanting to see them from every angle and savor every second.
“I want…” That smooth southern drawl was sexy as fuck. Each word was drawn out, the tone heavy with meaning. Javier wanted to hear his name in that tone, see that delectable mouth form the word and then kiss it right from his lips. “I want…” Yes, baby, tell our Master what you want so we can take you home and fuck you stupid. His cock throbbed as the anticipation rolled through him and if he had to wait another second he was going to come in his jeans. “I want what I see in your eyes...Sir.”
Did he groan aloud? Both of his men looked at him sharply, so he must have. Sir. All the ‘Master Saul’s’ being tossed around since they arrived hadn’t affected him at all. It was a standard protocol with little meaning in Javier’s opinion. But if their new lover was allowed to say it, then surely Saul would let him, right?
Everything he wanted was looking back at him expectantly and he would not let past or present fears leave him sitting on the proverbial bench. Javier rose and leaned into Saul’s side, comforted by the arm around his waist that encouraged him close. Saul pressed a gentle kiss to Javier’s temple and he hoped it was enough to convince this man that they were definitely interested together.
“Kyle...uh, I mean…” Kyle frowned. “Uh, that’s my name...Kyle.”
Javier couldn’t resist. Years of being afraid to touch or be touched by strangers, of bracing himself to touch or be touched by loved ones, all paled under the urgent need to reassure Kyle. Without hesitating, Javier reached out and brushed the hair back from Kyle’s eyes. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kyle.”
CHAPTER 10
Saul
Javier had been pushing the idea of a third on him for a year. He’d droned on and on about how hot the blond was, after they’d made love. This wasn’t his idea, this wasn’t in his plans. All he’d wanted was a chance at a happy life with Javier and had hoped with time they could accomplish that. The whole idea that they needed a third to bring them closer together was insulting—not that Javier would see it like that.
That insult did not compare to the pain of seeing Javier touch Kyle so quickly, so freely. The man who claimed to love him couldn’t touch him without bracing for it, but he could touch this stranger effortlessly. If that wasn’t irrefutable proof that they were living an illusion, Saul didn’t know what was.
“Did I…” Kyle’s voice broke through the pounding in his head and he focused on the man still in his grasp. “I should go.”
“No, why would I want you to go?” It wasn’t Kyle’s fault. It wasn’t even Javier’s fault and in the end it changed nothing. Should he send this man they both wanted away because of some hurt feelings? It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last.
“You looked…” Kyle started and he shook his head sharply. Javier was still gazing adoringly at Kyle and didn’t know that his actions had consequences. Hell, Javier should be patting himself on the back. They should be celebrating this major breakthrough. Saul scanned the club for their waiter and located Chase leaning against the VIP bar, pretending not to watch, but smiling too broadly to have missed a second. From his vantage point there probably was a lot to smile about. Saul gestured for another round of drinks...to celebrate...and looked at the two men who were now watching him expectantly.
“Are you joining us?” Saul wasn’t sure how he felt about Kyle reading him so easily, but it wouldn’t make him send the man away.
“Yes.” Kyle nodded slowly, still watching him curiously.
There was a little gratification in having Javier scoot around the table so that when they sat Saul was between them. Even more when Javier nestled under his arm until he was tucked into his side. Yes, Javier had his moment of daring, freely offered without a second of hesitance, and now he needed comforting. It was enough to know that Javier would always seek him out for that—it had to be.
Remembering the disheartened way Kyle exited the dance floor, Saul skipped past the small talk and forced the big issue out in the open. “Javi tells me you’re a porn star. How long have you been doing that?”
Kyle blinked up at him stupidly and Saul had to fight not to grin. Those fascinating eyes were lost and stunned, and perverse though it may be, Saul liked the effect. Kyle didn’t look innocent or guileless, there was world weariness about him, and Saul knew once he gained his footing, Kyle wouldn’t be so easily read or flustered. Wherever this little interlude was going, the selfish truth was that Saul didn’t think he had it in him to battle another person’s demons. He needed Kyle to be open to him, needed to know if he was strong enough. Another selfish truth, he needed someone on his side of the fight for Javier’s sanity...and his own. It was completely unfair of them both, but Kyle had no clue what he was walking into when he joined their table.
It would be foolish to think Javier capable of a casual encounter, and Saul wasn’t foolish. Even though Javier hadn’t said much, Saul could see him sizing Kyle u
p for the long term. Javier’s thoughts of a third leaned toward the romantic—someone who could bridge the distance between them, someone they could fall in love with. The words Javier used to convince him why they needed a third were heartbreaking reminders that Saul had failed to give him what he needed.
When Kyle continued to blink up at him, Saul teased, “Do you need me to repeat the question?”
The amusement brought Kyle out of his stupor and he shook his head. “Since...uh, college. That and modeling. Print, I mean...too short for runway, yeah? Hmm...that paid my way through school. The money was good, so...” Kyle shrugged and trailed off.
“And how old are you now?” Javier seemed content to listen to their exchange. Under the table, tentative fingers traced random designs on his thigh. Javier had been finding reasons to touch him all day, usually when other people were around. He guessed Javier found it safe to play in situations where Saul couldn’t just take over. Not that he’d taken over when they finally made it to the bedroom yesterday evening. In fact, Saul figured he deserved a medal for the marked restraint he’d shown.
“Twenty-eight.”
Kyle’s voice jolted him out of his thoughts, and Saul forced his focus on their new acquaintance. “That’s a long run.”
The look of longing he saw in Kyle’s eyes before he looked away made Saul wonder what he was really looking for. Unless he was misreading him, Saul believed Kyle was his own man, independent and capable. Kyle’s acceptance of his invitation, issued as Master Saul, was an acceptance of him in that role. It was all very telling, though he doubted Kyle realized it, but it didn’t explain what Kyle needed from him.
“Yeah...I mean, I guess...it’s almost over.” Kyle absently tore at the edges of a cocktail napkin, making a meticulous pile of the broken bits. Saul reached over and covered his hands, forcing Kyle to realize he’d been betraying his nerves.
