by Jessie G.
Kyle’s whole body stilled as he looked at their hands. Even Javier appeared to be holding his breath, waiting to see how Kyle would react, and when it came it was beautiful. Both hands clasped his as he looked up, letting his gratitude show. Yes, Kyle was looking for something specific and Saul was more than willing to explore the possibilities as long as Kyle remained open to him. “Are they coming to an end by choice?”
“Yes. Both my contracts came up for renewal and I declined. In about month I can walk away and figure out who else I am.”
Saul wondered if Kyle realized that his words were smoother when they were touching. First when he’d taken that strong chin in his grasp and now holding his hand. Not a single hesitation or broken thought. “What did you study in college?”
“Mental health. I wanted to focus on teens in crisis.” Kyle looked down at their hands and absently traced a scar along the back of Saul’s. He frowned a little and followed that scar to another, and another, making an erotic pattern out of the ugly marks. “It’s probably not something I can use going forward. Not a lot of call for former sex workers in counseling circles.”
“That’s a very specific focus. Why did you choose it?” More importantly, Saul wanted to know what made an intelligent man with a mental health degree chose to pursue a porn career. Saul didn’t care about the porn—he cared about the reasons and gaining a clear understanding of the man he would allow near Javier.
“My sister battled depression most of her teenage years. We found out that she was being bullied in school. Luckily, my parents found the right doctor to help her before it was too late. I saw what he did for her and I wanted to do the same for others.” Kyle’s shrug was a little self-deprecating, as if he wasn’t sure his reasons were valid.
“Saul?” Javier whispered softly.
Briefly he met that questioning gaze, but there was a lot more they needed to know. “When are your contracts up?”
“Mid-September, why?” Kyle had moved up, connecting the scars on Saul’s hand to those on his forearm, and his brow furrowed thoughtfully. Some of the scars were nothing more than residual scrapes from working on cars, others were definitely harder earned. It was easy to see Kyle making that distinction in his head, the realization bringing back the confusion he’d banked.
Not anywhere near ready to clear up the confusion, Saul pressed, “Just curious. If that’s what you want, you shouldn’t give up because you fear your past will color your future.”
Refocused, Kyle gave him a small, resigned smile. “Unfortunately it will color it, though. I’m a realist more than anything else.”
“Seems to me you’re simply talking yourself out of it because you fear rejection. That’s not being a realist, it’s being a coward.” Both Javier and Kyle gaped at him.
For a full minute, Kyle did nothing but open and close his mouth like a guppy before pulling himself together. “I’m not a coward.”
Saul certainly hoped that was true. “You don’t need to convince me, Kyle, only yourself.”
“Excuse me, Kip.” When Kyle cringed, Saul glared at the man cautiously approaching their table and was gratified to see the stranger trip over his own feet.
Before he could warn him off, Kyle squeezed his hand and whispered, “That’s Tex. I work for him.”
“Sorry for the interruption.” Tex fidgeted at the edge of their table. “There are a lot of people asking if we could do another round of autographs. I spoke to the others and they’re game.”
Kyle continued to look at Saul, his pale gaze thoughtful and questioning, and it took Saul a moment to realize Kyle was asking for permission to respond. He knew without being told that Kyle didn’t have any real experience with men like him and Saul took that silent question for the act that it was. When he nodded slightly, Kyle squeezed his hand in gratitude and Javier’s breathing kicked up about ten notches.
All traces of submission vanished when Kyle looked at his boss. Those wanting blue eyes turned to ice and even his voice hardened. This wasn’t the seductive Kip Veil, but another mask he was adept at wearing. In a blink he’d gone from their boy to a shrewd businessman and Saul didn’t find it the least bit attractive. “For how long?”
Tex shifted from one foot to the other, glancing quickly around the table before answering, “Another hour.”
“One hour and then I’m done for the night?” Kyle pressed.
“Yes, though the banger boys plan to stay. They seem to be very popular on the dance floor.” Tex gestured somewhere behind him.
Kyle looked over at the dance floor and frowned. The three men he’d been dancing with were now in a circle of overenthusiastic fans. “Are you leaving men with them?”
Tex looked insulted by the question. “Of course. And you.”
Kyle immediately brushed that aside. “After this I’m off until we meet at the airport on Monday, right?”
“Right, Monday.” Saul knew Tex was lying; it was in his tone and the shift of his eyes. It was a stupid thing to lie over and it made Saul wonder, if Tex was comfortable lying about the simple things, how many big things was he lying to Kyle about?
The tired resignation completely changed that gorgeous face. Aged it. It was a moment of vulnerability that he doubted Kyle wanted to reveal to Tex. Kyle flicked that icy gaze in his direction, waiting to respond until Saul nodded again. “All right, I’ll be at the table in fifteen minutes.”
“He’ll be keeping his clothes on this time,” Saul put in before Tex walked away.
Tex stumbled and sputtered. “I’m sorry, what?”
“His clothes. Will stay on.” If Tex thought to argue with him, he had the sense to pause long enough to judge Saul’s expression. Whatever he saw in it had him nodding before he walked off.
Kyle was gaping at him. “You just told my boss what to do.”
“Yes, I did. Do you have a problem with that?” Saul didn’t believe Kyle had a problem with it at all. He was just begging for someone to stand up for him.
When Kyle floundered for an answer, Javier snickered. “He’s adorable when he doesn’t know how to respond.”
That had Kyle sputtering...well, adorably. “I am not adorable.”
“Ha! That might have made you more adorable.” Javier leaned forward and asked, “Do you need help with your response?”
“Uh…” Kyle was taken completely off guard.
“Try this,” Javier offered. “Thank you, Saul, for caring about my comfort enough to stand up for me.”
When Kyle looked from Javier to Saul in surprise, it was obvious he hadn’t realized that was the intent behind the words. The boy simply thought he was being domineering. That was fine, too. Saul was domineering and now that Kyle had caught their mutual interest, Saul didn’t want anyone getting too friendly until he decided where that interest would take them.
“I didn’t realize.” The surprised contrition would have appeased him had he been offended. Saul wasn’t. “I am grateful, it’s just…well, I can’t remember the last time someone spoke on my behalf.”
Now, that gratitude warmed him. Sincere and perfectly respectful, without a single trace of the club sub act. “Get used to it.”
“Saul?” Javier leaned up and nuzzled under his jaw playfully. “Can we keep him?”
“Keep me? Like a puppy?” Kyle looked amused and a little offended.
Javier laughed outright. “If I ask you to roll over so I can rub your belly, will you?”
As clear as day, Kyle’s face said, legs in the air, tongue out, ass wagging like a fucking puppy. “Christ.”
“So fucking adorable.” Javier inched forward again and beckoned, “Come closer, Kyle. Let me see if I can touch you again.”
Though obviously confused by Javier’s request, Kyle slid closer until he was nestled up against Saul’s other side. Being sandwiched between both bodies could very well be a new form of torture for him, not that he was complaining. For a long moment Javier just looked at Kyle as if memorizing his features. When Javie
r finally reached out, Kyle clenched Saul’s hand tight and braced himself. While Kyle might not think his future prospects would amount to anything, Saul could see that natural empathy to not only understand Javier so quickly, but be able to hold himself in check to make Javier feel comfortable.
Javier’s voice was barely a whisper as he traced the lines of Kyle’s face. “Your eyes are fascinating. Do you know they change color?”
“I’ve been told.” In response to Javier’s whisper, Kyle’s voice was barely a rasp between his lips.
“So pale they could almost be white at times, but when you think about what we would do with you they darken to a deep ocean blue. They’re really stunning.” Those teasing fingers ghosted over a thin scar. “Who did this?”
“Me, my bicycle and the sidewalk.”
“You should be more careful with this face, Kyle. I like it.” Javier was in full tease mode, sex dripping from every word, every touch, and Kyle didn’t look like he could take much more. Poor, silly boy, if he only knew that they were just getting started.
“Thank you, Javi.”
Javier purred softly. “I like that little southern drawl when you say my name. Say it again, Kyle.”
“Javi.”
“Yes,” Javier moaned as he feathered slender fingers through the various lengths of white blond hair. “So light.”
“From the sun.” Kyle closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “When I’m out in the sun too long it gets like this. Most of the time it’s darker.”
“Not too dark, I hope.” When Javier grasped Kyle’s square chin and turned his head to the side, Kyle’s grip on Saul’s hand bordered on painful. Slowly, Javier leaned in until his lips were just barely touching the soft shell of Kyle’s ear. “Your fifteen minutes are up.”
“Huh?”
Javier spoke against that ear, “Your boss is glaring this way, Kyle. You should go get your work over with so you can come back where you belong.”
As Javier settled back, clearly proud of himself, Kyle looked up at Saul. “Will you…?”
“We’ll be here,” Saul assured.
Reluctantly Kyle let go of his hand and started out of the booth, only to look back when Javier’s words sank in. “Do I belong to you?”
It would be easy to say yes, to let Kyle pretend the decision wasn’t his, but that wasn’t what Saul wanted. If Kyle came back it would be because he made a conscious decision to do so. “Twice you waited for me to grant permission for something you wouldn’t have given a second thought to. In places like this, the scene of it, it’s just a game and one I’m not playing. That deference you teased yourself with, that’s a standard in my world. You have an hour to decide if you want to be a part of it.”
CHAPTER 11
Kyle
Tex confronted him as soon as he took his seat and grabbed a marker. “You really aren’t going to take off your clothes?”
“Really,” Kyle confirmed as he took the first DVD Ryder passed to him. What he needed was for Tex to give him some space so he could get his head on straight. With each step he took away from Saul and Javier, the voice of reason, the one that had been drowned out by lust, struggled to the surface. What was he doing allowing another man to take any control over him? Not just take it—he’d friggin’ handed it to him! Twice! Kyle wanted to be pissed, but Saul was right. He had teased himself with it because that’s what people did in clubs like this. Role played, acted out their fantasies, right? Kyle knew that was right because all he ever encountered were Doms acting out their fantasies and expecting him to play his role.
He should have known Saul was more than that. Hadn’t he seen it for himself in the café? Yes, he’d known, and played the part he thought was expected. Now he had an hour to decide what he wanted. It shouldn’t have taken a minute to say that all he wanted was the scene of it, the game that Saul claimed he wasn’t playing. An hour? Yeah, that’s all he wanted, an hour of mind-blowing sex, and Saul could control that hour all he friggin’ wanted…right?
“Look, Kip…”
Kyle looked up at his boss, then over at Saul and Javier who were still watching him. “If it bothers you so much, go talk to him. Otherwise, just let me get through the hour.”
“Who the hell is he anyway?”
Exactly! Who the hell was he anyway? Saul was unlike anyone he’d ever met and if he were smart he’d forget he ever met them. Forget that instant flare of lust in the café. Forget the tender way Saul treated Javier. Forget that warm, reassuring hand holding his. Forget that each time Saul asserted a little control his cock twitched happily. Yeah, he was friggin’ stupid for liking it, but not so stupid that he didn’t know Saul was just testing him. There was no doubt in Kyle’s mind that Saul was intimately acquainted with control, it was a natural extension of him, one that he used to bring pleasure or pain. Sure, Kyle had teased himself with the game of it, ‘cause his cock got all twitchy and happy, but the reality? No way in hell was he looking for that...right?
Anger at himself, anger at them, and anger at Tex for pushing him when he needed five blessed minutes of peace had Kyle sneering at the man he once called friend. “Now you just sound like a jealous lover, which we’ve never been. Tex, I’m honestly trying my best to hold it together right now, so just cut me some slack.”
Tex stood behind him, muttering under his breath as the customers made their way down the line for autographs and pictures. He kept muttering and cursing until Kyle thought he was going to kill him.
“Excuse me.” Chase placed a bottle of water on the table in front of him, his face pinched in concern. “Master Saul would like to know if he needs to come down here.”
Okay, that he could get used to. Maybe. Well, it was a little creepy and possessive...oh hell, he wouldn’t lie to himself. It was hot. Really friggin’ hot. Kyle looked back at Tex and didn’t even try to hide his mean-spirited grin. “Does he, or will you walk away?”
“What the fuck, Kip?”
Chase was clearly emboldened by his task and glared openly at Tex. “Master Saul says that even a blind man can see you are deliberately aggravating him and he doesn’t like it. He’s taken it as a personal affront. No offense, and these are my own words now, I wouldn’t fuck with him.”
Tex muttered something vulgar and walked down toward the beginning of the line. Kyle looked at Chase, letting all his confused shock show. “He really sent you down here?”
“Yes, and I’m to check on you throughout the hour. Kyle, why do you look so surprised? It’s not like you haven’t been around the scene before, haven’t dabbled with the occasional Dom…are you really trying to convince me that you didn’t know what he was?” Chase sighed.
“I’m not a complete newb, but I’ve never done more than play a couple of times. Nothing like your relationship or Tory and Evan’s…no, I’m not looking for that.”
“Well, first of all, my relationship is very different from Tory and Evan’s. There is no formula for it, no directive we all follow. We get to define its possibilities and limits in whatever ways make all parties happy. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted? To define your own life?”
Having Chase point out the basis for which he tried to live his life didn’t help. “And what makes you think my definition would mesh with theirs?”
Chase’s grin was quick and dirty. “The heat level at that table is off the charts. The entire club has been watching it play out. Some people are even taking bets on how long it will take Master Saul to snap and bend you over the table.”
“Tell me you’re not in on this bet!”
“No, I would never do that to you.” The lying little shit formerly known as his cousin grinned and walked away.
Kyle was unable to stop himself from looking toward Saul and Javier’s table. Clay and his partners had joined them, but Saul must have sensed his gaze because he looked over and raised a questioning eyebrow. Kyle nodded back automatically. Of course he was all right, but Saul didn’t look convinced. How was this man seeing th
rough him so easily? Beside him, Ryder nudged a DVD case under his hand and he focused on the task. When the fan asked for a photo with him, he forced himself to relax and do his job.
As he signed and posed for pictures, his mind kept replaying the conversation and still couldn’t make sense of what they wanted from him. A quick fuck didn’t require conversation, yet they’d talked for nearly an hour. Their interest in his work and aspirations hadn’t seemed hollow, but they skipped all the small talk and dove right in. Even their sexual comments, while direct, weren’t designed to rush him into a private room. Can we keep him?
Kyle always believed he was open-minded enough for anything, even knew of poly relationships that made all parties happy, but could he be part of one? A one off ménage he could handle in his sleep, but a relationship? It might be a huge mistake, but he knew he would return to their table when the hour was up and find out, because the combination that was Saul and Javier was too tempting to resist.
“Hey.” Chase was back for the fifth time. “Master Saul wants you to meet them on the dance floor.”
“Is my hour almost up?” Kyle asked, smiling at the camera someone held in his face. Shit, but he was tired of smiling, of pretending this was who he was.
“In ten minutes.” Chase looked at the line and frowned a little.
“Can I ask you something personal?” Kyle glanced over and saw Chase touch his collar. Though they were distantly related, Kyle counted Chase amongst his closest friends, but Chase’s relationship had always been intensely private. “You can say no.”
“It’s okay, ask. I’ll try to answer.”
“Does Ty...I mean, how do you...does he control everything...you?” Wow, he was back to being a bumbling idiot.
“Yes, it’s a gift I happily give to him. But, and I can see your real concern, he doesn’t control my mind. It’s not something he took from me or forced on me, nor is it abusive. I’m not a puppet, mindlessly going through life waiting to be told when to sit, stay or beg. It’s requires a deep level of respect and trust, a complete openness devoid of any secrets. It allows us to care for each other in ways I couldn’t even begin to explain.” Chase paused and looked around the room. “Most of these people, they want moments. An hour or two to relieve stress or fulfill a fantasy they aren’t getting at home, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Most would believe that to live it, day in and day out, would be too much work. Because it is work and dedication to each other’s every need, desire and deep dark secret. It’s soul deep.”
