The Protector

by Jessie G.

  “They admitted it because they thought I would help them. So I did.” Deep in thought, Bull grabbed the box of push pins and walked back over to the board. “Ric was pretty horrified. You said twenty people…the original plan had five, not including Juan in the surveillance van. Ric even explained the plan to them.”

  Saul had already been whittling it down and could see it playing out just fine with five good men. Jared on explosives if Bull thought he was as stable as he appeared. Bull in the decoy ambulance. Trick in the club to get Marisol to the escape route where he’d be waiting to calm her down before she flipped out. That left the problem of getting Miguel where they needed him and no matter which way he looked at it, the only person even close to capable and stable was Billy. Knowing what his picks would have been, Saul was curious to know who Alaric really had mind for the job. “Who were the five he planned to use?”

  “Mercenaries…exactly who you would have used if you had deep enough pockets.” Bull started placing black pins on his board and Saul rose to look. “Had you met with Ric after the meeting like he asked, you would have known.”

  “Kyle was falling asleep on his feet.” Saul refused to back down on that excuse. Kyle had driven himself into the ground to make that meeting. That in itself was an unforgiveable crime. How bad would Alaric have felt if, in his exhaustion, Kyle crashed his car trying to be part of something he should have been safe from?

  “And we would have gotten him home just fine without you. You were pissed.” Bull spared him a knowing look. “Still are.”

  Another truth there was no point in denying, so he looked at the new pins. “One to blow up the building, two on Miguel and Marisol, one to drive the ambulance and one to do a pick-up in the back. Doable.”

  “Yeah.” Bull scrubbed a hand over the back of his head, showing his frustration for the first time. “The guys wouldn’t hear of being cut out of the plan. Stubborn bastards feel like they have to help you.”

  It hadn’t been his intention when he started working with them. The goal had been to help them move forward, not make vigilantes out of them. “They don’t owe me anything.”

  “No, it’s not about owing you. It’s about loving you.”

  “Again with that fucking word.” He was tired of having it tossed around as the basis for this idiotic plan.

  “In their minds, they need you, and I’m inclined to agree. Maybe I brought them together, but you’re the one holding them together. It’s more than the little family they’ve become. It’s you helping them deal with their past shit so they can move forward. They’re better men because of the work you’ve put in and they know it.”

  “Then they should do what I ask and focus on rebuilding their lives.” Saul shook his head and paced back to the desk. “I gave them the tools to do that without me. They would all be fine.”

  “I disagree. If something happened to you none of us would be fine with it. Javi wouldn’t be fine with it. Kyle wouldn’t be fine with it.” Bull forced him around so they were face to face. “Like it or not, we are your family and we need you.”

  Like it or not, he needed them too. He needed them alive and whole and thriving. He needed to see them be more than products of their past. He needed to see them happy. “Yes, we are a family. A crazy family.”

  “Yep, the dysfunction is strong in our lineage.” Bull brought him back to the board and pulled out the pins he added. “That’s the plan. Refine it, work with them, and make it something you can live with. Make it so that they all come home to you. Then, together, we’ll keep them moving forward.”

  That was all fine except for one little thing. “I don’t want Red in the van.”

  “I don’t want Kyle in the club. You’re the big, bad Master Sadist. I’m sure you ordered him to stand down. So, how’d that work out for you?” Bull’s sigh matched his level of frustration. “It probably went exactly like my conversation with Red. They’re all hell-bent on doing this. Don’t let them down.”

  Together they looked at the board and Saul got that he could either continue to fight a losing battle or figure out how to ensure they all came home safe. “All right, let’s call Ric. We need to make this tight and right.”

  Bull was already pulling his cell phone out when he paused. “By the way…”

  “Davin wants in?” Of course he did. The big hulk wasn’t going to be content on the sideline, not when he was the reason Alaric was involved in the first place. Bull didn’t bother to respond, didn’t need to. There also wasn’t any question that Alaric would come. Kyle and Bull both said Alaric was horrified by what they were all willing to do and Saul needed to see that for himself.

  Chapter 32

  Kyle

  Kyle looked up at Davin’s crisis center as they waited on the sidewalk while Saul parked the car. The front doors stood open, spilling music and laughter over the wide and welcoming front porch. The freaky foursome came up beside them, all impressively dressed. If the way Billy was fidgeting with his tie was any indication, not all of them were happy about it.

  “Leave it alone, you look good,” Liam admonished and Billy’s hand dropped like he’d been burned. Chris fixed the tie he’d skewed and patted him on the head. Javier told him not to try to figure them out, that they hadn’t figured them out, but he found them fascinating. The dynamic between the four of them was unlike anything he’d ever seen before.

  Forcing his gaze back to the center, Kyle read the plaque over the door. “The Bennett House.”

  “State of Florida does not allow gay marriage, but anyone can change their name. Davin took Alaric’s name months ago. From what I understand he’s helping Red and Bull do the same,” Javier explained.

  “Red’s going to change his name?” That was an interesting concept. Kyle knew there were all sorts of legalities you can put in place, medical proxies and such, but to go so far as to change one’s name? Had Javier and Saul considered it? If so, where would that leave him?

  “To Connor.” Javier nodded. “Yes, he’s definitely a Connor.”

  “That he is.” Owen’s voice was soft with affection. When Kyle looked over in surprise, Owen blustered, “What? I can be nice.”

  “Ah, finally some familiar faces.” A young woman came down the steps and approached them. Owen immediately stepped forward, scooping her up. “Ugh, don’t mess up my hair, brother.”

  When he put her down, she smiled up at him affectionately before kissing her way down the line until she came to him. “Oh, well now, you’re a handsome one, aren’t you?”

  Liam grumbled, “What are we, chopped liver?”

  “You know I love you all equally. He’s new.”

  “Get used to him, Bella.” Saul came up beside him and took the woman in a tight hug. “Kyle, this is Bull and Owen’s baby sister.”

  “How are you, Saul?” Bella smiled up at him, a little bit of awe in her face. Boy, did he know that feeling.

  “Better to be in such beautiful company.”

  “You save that sweet talk for your man and tell me about this new friend.” She batted big green eyes at him and twirled a perfectly quaffed curl around her finger. “Are you single? Straight?”

  “No and no.” Kyle grinned at Owen who was choking himself with his tie.

  “Doesn’t that just figure? So who’s the lucky guy?” Saul leaned down and whispered in her ear. As she stood there with her mouth hanging open, Saul took his hand, and then placed another on Javier’s back to lead them inside.

  Kyle looked back at Bella in concern. “Hopefully they don’t leave her standing out there stuttering.”

  “Owen won’t. He’s not so smooth with his love interest, but he’s all big brother when it matters,” Saul assured.

  Bull and Red were standing with a group of people and Saul led them that way. Introductions were made and he was surprised to find that Bull had even more family. Every one of the men he met seemed to be without blood relations, or at least weren’t close to their blood relations, but it seemed the ent
ire Connor clan accepted them into their fold. It was becoming apparent that the family Javier adored had been brought together by the big, intimidating man Red loved.

  “This is the most non-clinical facility I’ve ever seen.” The lobby was massive, wide and deep with a high ceiling that he assumed was once part of the second floor. Bold colors, comfortable furniture, lots of living things and natural light, and Red’s logo prominently displayed. Someone who needed help would walk in here and feel comfortable.

  “That’s what I wanted—something warm and welcoming that would put people at ease.” They turned to see Davin and Alaric approaching. “We haven’t been officially introduced. I’m Davin and this is Ric.”

  “Kyle.” No, they hadn’t been formally introduced, but he’d spent hours of his ride down on the phone with them. He took their hands respectively and smiled. “And you’ve succeeded. That porch screams a big welcome and then this lobby…I love that you skipped a big, clunky desk and went with bold colors. It’s totally unintimidating and really brilliant.”

  “Would you like a tour?” Davin looked eager and excited, and Kyle really wanted to see it.

  “I’d love one.” When Saul released his hand, Kyle looked back curiously. “Aren’t you coming?”

  Saul shook his head and offered an encouraging smile. “We’ve seen it through all its stages. Go on, we’ll be here when you get back.”

  Kyle looked between Saul and Javier, trying to judge if they told Davin anything about him, and they both looked back openly. He had no idea what he was going to do with his life, but he definitely didn’t want anyone asking for favors on his behalf. “All right.”

  As Davin led him down the hall, he whispered, “Ric and I are big fans.”

  “Oh man, that’s so not right.” The shared laughter eased the knot of concern and Kyle followed Davin into the first room on the right. “What’s this?”

  “We’ll use this for self-defense classes. I’ve spoken to some cops and martial arts instructors, and many are willing to donate their time.”

  Struck by it, Kyle looked around the room. “Empowerment, I love it. I think that’s the most overlooked aspect of abuse counseling. Talking helps, guidance and support, but knowing you can defend yourself trumps all.”

  Davin looked at him thoughtfully. “Exactly what I was thinking.”

  “What made you put this together?” As Davin led him across the hall he summed up his story. When he was done, Kyle felt like an ass for asking. “I…I feel like I shouldn’t have asked.”

  “No, there is a reason I did this. I’m paying it forward, doing something good out of something bad.”

  “Consider me a huge fan. My sister was a victim of bullying in high school. Luckily, she got the help of a very good counselor. But I know many fall through the cracks, either because they don’t know where to get help or are too afraid to ask.”

  “Is that why you went to college for your degree in counseling?”

  Now that pissed him off. “If Saul or Javi asked you to give me a job…”

  “They didn’t. Ric did a background check on you.” Davin looked over and grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, he’s a bit protective of the people he cares about, sorry.”

  Why wasn’t that surprising? Instead of being angry, Kyle could only laugh. “No, no, it’s okay. Wow, that protective vein runs thick with all of you.”

  “Some might call it paranoia, but yeah, we take care of our own.” Davin opened the double doors and gestured him inside. “I’m still fleshing out how to attack this, but the goal is to hold seminars here. I want to invite the schools in to talk about bullying, abuse…that sort of thing. We also want to get the community involved. I think the problems need to be attacked from every angle. I just need to figure out what those angles are.”

  “Where I grew up everyone knew everyone. If I sneezed wrong, someone called my mother. That sense of community is a dying breed. If you could get them involved, have everyone invested in seeing all the kids in this community grow up in a safe environment, that’s huge.” That was all well and good as long as you conformed. That same sense of community could go from an extended family to lynch mob on a dime.

  “What’s the saying? It takes a village to raise a child. Especially when the danger is at home. They’re our future. We have to be invested.”

  Davin led him up the stairs and Kyle looked back, once again astounded by the grandeur of the lobby. “Do you and Ric plan on having children?”

  “No, not that we don’t love kids, but we know first-hand how evil the world can be. Plus he works like crazy and I just took this on. At the end of the day, we’re just happy to have time awake to be us. What about you?”

  “Me?”

  “Children with Saul and Javi?”

  “Oh…” Well, that scrambled his brain. “Uh, wow, we’re kind of new to this relationship and how the hell would that work? How would we explain to a kid that his or her three daddies sleep in the same bed? Yeah, probably not going to be a discussion I want to have.”

  Davin laughed at him. “It would be awkward.”

  The question concerned him. “Do you think Saul and Javi want kids?”

  “No. As I said, we know how evil the world is.”

  “So, just gauging my intentions and making sure my interests are compatible with theirs?” Who would have guessed getting involved with two men would come with so many meet-the-parent moments? Considering Saul’s overall presence, it was pretty amusing.

  “Guilty. Feel free to be mad any time.”

  “I’ll think on that and let you know. Somehow I have a feeling you won’t be the only two.” As he toured the second and third floor, listening to Davin’s vision for the place, Kyle was impressed. He could also see the man gauging his interest in the project and trying to decide if he wanted him on board. Standing in the center, Kyle could see everything he believed he wanted to be and wasn’t sure he felt like it still applied. If it didn’t then he really had no idea who he was anymore. “Have you considered animal therapy? Dogs have been trained to work with soldiers coming back with PTSD. Horses have been used to encourage trust and rebuild self-esteem.”

  “It’s on the list of possibilities. That list just continues to grow and there’s only one of me. We officially open Monday and I think we’ve got a good base to start from, but there is so much more I want to offer.” Davin smiled wearily. “Are you looking for a job?”

  “Maybe, but I don’t think it’s as a counselor. I’m out of school too long to think I could just sit for the licenses, so the whole process would take more time than you have. Setting that aside, I keep thinking how my first career will color my second. Saul said it was fear of rejection and maybe that’s part of it. More importantly, though, it’s being recognized. If you brought someone to me for help and they know me from my porn days, how can I help them? How could they trust or respect me? On the other hand, if they don’t know and somehow find out, how could they trust or respect me? All the ways I look at it, I feel like I would be more harmful than helpful.”

  “I admit I have been thinking about it since Ric told me your background. What I really need is a totally underpaid but much appreciated assistant to help me put programs like animal therapy in place. Someone who can see the benefit of a place like this and be invested in helping me build those community ties.” Davin considered him thoughtfully. “Not to devalue your training at all, and if you want to go back to school and eventually sit for your licenses, I’ll be happy to have you on board in that capacity too.”

  It certainly was something to think about for the future. Right now the idea of going back to school wasn’t appealing at all. “Underpaid but much appreciated, huh?”

  “Enticing, right? On the bright side, we have state funding so there would be things like health benefits for our underpaid but much appreciated staffers.”

  “Way to sweeten the deal.” As they came down the stairs, Kyle looked over the crowd and spotted his men talking to a couple he did
n’t know. Hell, he barely knew anyone. “I’ve been on the road for the last month. No, scratch that, the last four months, minus the four days I spent here in Miami. I’ve worked almost non-stop for the last ten years…”

  “You want some down time.”

  Kyle was loathe to turn him down when he looked so eager, but he needed some time before he could commit. It would be grossly unfair to say yes and then do a half-assed job of it. “Yes, and then a less hectic schedule. You need someone who can be here all the time.”

  Davin was quick to cut him off. “No, I don’t. Will there be an occasional night? Sure. If there are two of us, then we can divide that up. But I’m not the one who’ll be doing the real work here. That will be up to the counselors, those actually giving their time to each guest. I’m just the guy pushing papers and paying bills.”

  Davin leaned against the railing, forcing Kyle to stop. “My relationship with Ric is very codependent. I need to physically be with him every day and I’m not talking about sex. Some would call it unhealthy. I’m telling you this so you understand that I won’t be here all the time. This is something I needed to do, but it doesn’t trump what I need to be for and with Ric. I see the way you and your men are. It’s not so different and it will get stronger. You could do good work here. We could divide the work so we both have the chance to do something good and still feed that part of ourselves that needs to be with the men we love.”

  “It doesn’t sound unhealthy.” Honest would have been the word he used. Kyle knew all the advice about having your own life, your own friends and not losing yourself in a relationship. It could very well be sound advice, but could it really be wrong to like being with your partner or missing them when they weren’t there? Davin’s honesty was refreshing. This was a man who made no apology for his needs and was willing to do whatever it took to see them met.

  “Yes, from one codependent to another. I’m asking you to consider this so I could do both. It’s selfish and I have no trouble admitting it. This is my project, my baby. I’m invested and I’ll do whatever it takes. It’s not very reasonable to ask someone to share that burden so I can have what I need personally, but it’s exactly what I’m asking.”