Let’s do Down Under. It’s up in Arlington, and they have good happy hour specials. It might be crowded, but they’ll have the Nats game on.
Valentina let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding.
Sounds good. How about 6?
Perfect. See you then.
She figured she could leave a bit early to head home and change before meeting him. She was surprised by how excited she was about seeing Jared.
At home, she stood in her closet taking care to pick something out for her outing with Jared. It wasn’t a date, yet she wanted to look nice. She finally decided on dark jeans with a ruffly top. It wasn’t revealing, but it was more date-appropriate than ready-for-work. She added a pair of cute sandals from the back of her closet that she rarely wore.
She brushed her hair and touched up her makeup, adding a little eyeliner and lipstick. Not too much but just enough to look polished. She smiled to herself when she realized how much care she was taking getting ready for Jared. We are just hanging out as friends, she reminded herself as she grabbed her purse and headed out the door.
Driving to the bar, she was a little upset that Bri hadn’t ended up taking her on that shopping intervention. Valentina wished she had more festive clothes to wear for a happy hour. Although this wasn’t a date, Valentina did feel like she was trying to impress Jared. She wasn’t sure why. He had seen her at some bad moments when they dated: when she was sick, when they fought, when she was hung over. Those ugly and vulnerable moments hadn’t seemed to bother him.
She found the address and parked on a side street, quickly checking her hair in the rearview mirror before making her way into the bar. The Australian-theme of the place was a little over the top, with more than one boomerang on the wall along with rugby photos and landscapes of Australia. The overall décor was a combination of wood and chipped paint. It seemed like a casual enough place, with several TVs tuned to the Nats game, and Val wondered if this was Jared’s new hangout spot.
She found Jared at the bar, and he waved to her when she walked in. Jared looked the same as he did when they were dating. She wasn’t paying attention to how he looked when she saw him at the grocery store, too focused on getting out of the store without bawling. Now that she was paying attention, she noticed how handsome he looked. He had that all-American athlete look to him that said, “I played sports in high school.” He looked like he was still in shape but softer and not overly muscular. His soft blond hair was cut short on the sides and left longer on the top, styled with his fingers instead of any product.
He dressed a little preppy, but not obnoxiously so, in a patterned button-down shirt, untucked from his jeans.
He gestured to the seat beside him, and she sat on the wide stool. He ordered a large beer from the bartender, and she ordered a smaller beer.
“I see you haven’t changed much—still love a good button-down shirt?” Val teased.
“You know me, never one for fancy stuff,” he said with a smile. “Besides, if my mom and sister didn’t have such great fashion sense, I would be forced to shop for myself. Luckily, they love to buy me clothes for every occasion.”
“True,” she agreed. “I remember that one Christmas they got you that sweater that you hated. It might have been the only time you didn’t love what they bought you.”
“I remember that! Yes, that sweater was way too hipster for me. I exchanged it the next day for a…wait for it…button-down shirt,” he said with a grin. She laughed along with Jared, and they both sipped their beer.
“So,” Jared started with a more serious expression on his face, “what does hanging out look like? Am I supposed to treat you like one of the guys?” He smiled and bumped her gently with his shoulder as if to show he was teasing. Valentina felt instantly more at ease seeing his easy-going smile.
“Sure, that sounds good. It means we talk about regular stuff: work, sports, friends, family. We have a beer, and maybe I beat you at trivia.”
“Well, that’s a given. I never was able to best you when trivia was involved,” he said. She was glad how easily the conversation flowed between them, even after all this time.
“It’s all the reading,” she said. “I pick up a lot of random details from books. Can’t help it if it makes me a trivia threat.” They both laughed.
“How’s work going?” he asked.
“Good. John’s been his usual self. Wants me to get a million customers on a shoestring budget. What about you?”
Jared was in finance. Not high finance or investment banking but he was in the accounting department for a fairly large company. He was good with numbers and liked the black and white nature of the work. She had seen on social media that he had recently received a promotion.
“It’s been really good. I got that promotion, and now I supervise two people. The raise didn’t hurt either. It’s been interesting to learn how to manage. Being a boss is not as straightforward as I would have expected: a lot more hand holding and a lot less glamour,” he joked. “Tell me about your upcoming trip. Are you vacationing someplace warm?”
Valentina hated being cold. Val remembered that Jared always had a spare jacket handy for her when they were dating. Wearing layers in the winter never seemed to be enough, and she could wear pants and long sleeves even in the heat of summer and not get overheated. Jared was almost never cold, so it was funny for them to navigate their different temperatures.
“Yes, it’s warm where I’m going. I’m headed to Rwanda.”
“Wow, how did that come about?” Jared asked. He looked at her with interest as Valentina told him about the presentation at work, leaving out how she got involved with Adam. She talked about John’s chapter of Engineers Serving Across the Globe and how encouraging her boss had been about her going on the trip. She explained the places she would be visiting and the things she would be learning about.
“I’m very excited about it. This is the first trip I needed to get shots and malaria medication for,” said Val. “I’ve read guide books and watched documentaries, and I still feel unprepared. I’m sure I’ll be fine once I arrive, but I have no idea what it will be like. I bought clothes, but what will we eat? Who will we meet? I can’t even imagine.”
“That sounds amazing,” he said. “Very exotic and adventurous. I know you always talked about doing those types of things.”
“Actually, that’s been on my mind a lot lately. I say that I want adventure, but I spend Saturday night reading at home. I used to be more daring, and I feel like I should try to get back to that, so I’ve been trying new things to shake it up a bit. This trip will really test my adventurous side.”
“I can’t wait to hear how it turns out. You leave next week for two weeks?”
Valentina nodded her head. She was excited about the trip as a continuation of her new life of adventure, but she wasn’t sure how she would feel seeing Adam again. It’s funny how she hadn’t thought about Adam at all during their conversation until just that moment.
Jared and Valentina talked while they watched the first few innings of the game. They both had another beer and some appetizers. The conversation flowed and they acted like a couple of old friends. Val gave him a high-five when their team scored a run, and Jared gave her a little side hug when she won a round of trivia.
After a couple of hours, Valentina decided it was time to head home. She had enjoyed the time with Jared, but she didn’t want to drink too much, and she wasn’t following the game enough to worry about staying until the end.
“I’m going to head out,” she said to Jared. “I need to get up early tomorrow, so I don’t want to drink too much tonight and end up hung over.”
“Okay. Do you want me to walk you to your car?”
“No, no. I’ll be fine. You stay and watch the rest of the game.” Jared and Valentina stood up. He gave her one of his signature hugs. She smiled into his shoulder as she enjoyed the embrace. It was another perfect hug: not too long, not too short, and just firm enough. If she could
patent these, she’d have it made, she thought. After he released her, he said softly, “This was nice.”
“It was nice. Just two friends getting a beer together,” Valentina said with a smile. She gave a little wave and headed to the door.
She glanced back as she walked to the door and noticed Jared was watching her leave. Val was concerned. Did she lead him on by suggesting drinks? She could see longing plain on his face. The question was: did she have feelings for him anymore?
Valentina drove home with her radio off. She had so many thoughts swirling through her head. It was nice to hang out with Jared; she enjoyed his company and his hugs. She was already looking forward to the next time she would see him. She had such a nice time with Jared that she wondered if she was playing with fire. Was it smart to hang out with an ex when she hadn’t resolved things with Adam?
As torn up about Adam as she was, the days passed and she grew more and more excited about the trip. It was going to be a big step outside her comfort zone, and she was ready. Although Valentina admitted that there was a part of her that was looking forward to seeing Adam and perhaps talking him into changing his mind, she wondered if that was still her goal. Do I want to try to make it work with someone who brushed me off so easily in the first place? She was no longer so sure.
Chapter 18
On Sunday, she went to brunch with the girls. It had been too long since seeing Jenna, Sarah, Jen, and Kelly. They ordered pitchers of mimosas to get things flowing.
“How’s the new job going, Sarah?” Jen kicked off the conversation.
“Good. It’s a big change working for a huge company downtown after being at such a small company for my internship,” Sarah explained. She had just finished a graduate degree in marketing and was starting afresh in her career. “And Jen, how’s the new guy?” Sarah turned the conversation back to Jen.
“Things are going really well,” replied Jen. “It’s been 6 months, so we’re starting to get a little serious and talk about the future.” She smiled. The girls congratulated Jen on this milestone as she seemed quite happy with this boyfriend in her life.
“I have an update on Val since the last brunch. If you haven’t heard, Adam is a cowardly yet handsome jerk who went back to Rwanda with no interest of continuing things with Val. However,” Bri paused for dramatic effect. “someone did meet Jared for drinks on Friday, ‘just as friends.’” Bri’s use of air quotes clearly showed what she thought about that idea.
“Yes, that is the short version of it,” said Valentina. “I wanted to keep seeing Adam, which would be a long-distance relationship. He thought it would be drawing out the hurt versus just breaking up now. So, he decided on the quick option.”
She continued. “Africa is a hell of a long way to have a relationship. I was pretty crushed about it, but I’m feeling better. And yes, I did have drinks with Jared.”
Jenna jumped on that comment. “You have to tell us more about that. Last we heard about Jared, he was yesterday’s news. Now he’s back in the picture?”
“Nothing is going on,” she said. “We got a drink after work on Friday as friends, and it went fine. He’s a nice guy and all, but that doesn’t mean we’re getting back together.”
“Are you sure?” asked Jen. “You guys were serious for a very long time. He was ready to settle down. Can you really say that you don’t have feelings for him anymore?”
“I don’t know, but I have to admit it was nice to see him. He makes me feel good. As much as I have feelings for Adam, I’m worried that I will always be second fiddle to his career and volunteer work,” said Valentina.
“What is it you want?” asked Bri. “Are you looking to settle down or are you looking to never settle down? If you know that, your choice is easy. Jared to settle down, Adam to travel the world.”
“I’m not sure it’s that clear-cut,” said Val. “What if I want both? I may want to settle down eventually. I can see myself getting married and maybe having a kid. Heck, I live in the burbs now, but I also want fun and excitement. I want to try new things and be a little crazy. Get a tattoo. Eat cricket tacos. Whatever. I can’t see giving up that fun just to get married.”
“I still think it’s pretty straightforward,” said Jenna. “Can you see Jared going along on trips with you when you are married with kids? Or do you see Adam getting married and having kids between trips? Of course, this all assumes that Jared even wants to get back together, or that Adam can be convinced that you can make a relationship work.”
“Exactly,” said Val. “Jared mentioned that he still has feelings for me. Do I still have feelings back? I don’t know. I don’t know which scenario seems more likely. That’s the problem.”
The girls continued to debate the issue a little longer before the conversation drifted to other topics as they ate and drank pitchers of mimosas. Even though they didn’t resolve anything, Val left feeling better for having talked things through with her friends.
They each hugged Val as they left, wishing her well on her trip.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” teased Jen. Val smiled.
“Take tons of photos,” said Sarah. “We want a full report when you get back. I hope you get some time to talk with Adam and figure things out, but remember, even without resolving things with him, this will be an amazing trip.”
Bri was last to give her hug. “I know I’ll talk to you before you go, but still. I support you whatever you decide. You deserve to be first, not anyone’s second choice.”
What would she do without those girls? Val left the restaurant and got into her car, emotional from the goodbyes.
Chapter 19
She was on a cruise ship in a cabin hallway. The hall stretched far into the distance with a curve so she couldn’t see the end. Val was rushing along until she realized the cabin doors were unlocked. She stopped and began opening doors. She was looking for something, someone. She wasn’t finding what she wanted and kept opening door after door. She was frustrated and growing worried. How could she find the one she was looking for?
Val opened her eyes. She looked out the window to the trees outside. Her dream had her searching for something, but she never found it. She didn’t know what she was looking for, but she was lost and becoming hopeless. Val frequently had vivid dreams, but lately, they had been more about searching or looking for something. She was sure it was related to her search for answers related to Adam and Jared in her real life.
This was her last week before she left on her trip. The days were speeding by as she wrapped things up before leaving for vacation. Work was busy as John needed reports and Steve needed numbers. She was trying to finish her projects to get things off her plate for Friday. She was a little nervous about the trip but work kept her mostly distracted.
After work, she packed. Val had been collecting the things she needed for the trip, but now she was putting them in order and into her suitcase. After talking to Adam and the people in the ESAG office, Valentina had decided to leave the clothes she bought at the thrift store at the ESAG office in Rwanda at the end of the trip. They could give them to needy people in the community. It would also make her bag a lot lighter on the way back.
She also packed items for children in the communities. The group was scheduled to visit schools and community groups, and Valentina had found some soccer balls to donate. She couldn’t wait to see the kids’ faces when she used the small hand pump to inflate the balls in front of them. She could easily see that the kids she met might be the best part of the whole trip. Kids could be so full of joy, and Val hoped that some would rub off on her.
Wednesday at lunch she got a text from Jared.
Hey. Was thinking about you today, he texted.
Really?
Yes. Want to get a drink tonight? I know it’s short notice, but I thought we might fit it in before you leave on your trip.
I can do tonight. After work at 6?
Sure. Let’s meet at Highline. It’s in Arlington by the mall.
&
nbsp; Sounds good. See you then.
Valentina was happy about the texts. She looked forward to seeing Jared again tonight. Between her trip coming up, the workdays flying by, and her packing, this week was a happy difference from last week. She wasn’t moping. She wasn’t crying. Was it because she was closer to seeing Adam again? Or was it because of Jared?
She arrived in Arlington early and decided to wait inside. She
climbed the stairs to the main bar area and picked a small table by a wall of tall windows so she could look out. She scrolled through Facebook on her phone and looked out the window while she waited. Jared arrived right on time, walking confidently through the bar. He saw her right away and came to sit down. She stood up, and they hugged quickly before taking their seats at the little table. They both ordered a beer when the waiter came by.
Jared sat awkwardly while they waited for the waiter to bring their drink order. Once their beers were dropped off on the table, he looked down and began twisting his glass nervously. Val was about to ask him what was going on when he piped up.
“Val, I think we need to talk,” Jared said. “I know this seems sudden, but I’ve been thinking a lot since we met up last Friday.”
“Ok,” said Val warily. This could go any number of ways, she thought. “What do you want to talk about?” She shifted in her seat.
“About us. I don’t think I can be friends with you. Friends talk about work and dating adventures and sports. Well, maybe yours talk about shopping more than sports, but my point is that I don’t want to hear about you dating anyone else. I don’t want to just hear about your life outside of our friendship. I want to be a part of that life. I want to be the one you talk about with the girls at brunch.
“Val, I want you to give us another shot.” He looked into her eyes.
Val sat in silence. She looked down at her beer. Is this something she could do? Did she want to? Was this what she wanted for her life? She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, taking a moment to compose herself.
Love Without Borders Page 12
