Gage, Ronna - Paradise Mine (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Ronna Gage

  “Perhaps.”

  He leaned in, placed a small kiss on her cheek, and then whispered in her ear. “If that’s the price I pay.”

  He turned and joined Kip at the stove. His mind tried to ignore her in the background, gathering clothes and walking toward the lagoon, but his need for her didn’t listen.

  She played that round cool, he noticed. She didn’t give in too quickly nor stomp away in frustration. Instead, she played the vixen he suspected her to be and the innermost parts of him wanted more than he admitted.

  * * * *

  Floating on a cloud. Rae Anne found the words to describe her current mood. Her focus lingered on Landy as he and Kip discussed something in detail. Every once in a while, she found him watching her. For one second, he was hers for the taking. She replayed the image over in her head and felt his touch on her skin. Damn it, Kip! She fought the urges rising in her. The moment filled with intense pleasures, until the interruption.

  She met his gaze one more time before she headed to the lagoon. There’s that look again. Rae Anne could only assess it as what she felt herself. Regret that the moment ended, but thankful that it hadn’t gone too far out of control. The moment we make love after all these years will be one of letting go of the past, a total surrender. She could feel its approach and welcomed it with open arms.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  “What do you mean it’s gone?” Kip asked after hearing the news. By his look of surprise, Landy almost laughed, but this wasn’t a laughing matter.

  Landy looked down at him, mildly irritated by the question. “Which part didn’t you get?” He didn’t dilute his irritation for Kip’s benefit.

  “Well, all of it. That damn yacht has been secure on the barrier for weeks, then one little thunderstorm and it’s gone—just like that?”

  “Yep, and imagine my surprise.” Landy ignored the intense tick of his cheek—a result of stress—further complicated by Kip’s idiotic questions. He dismissed the snail’s pace Kip took this morning to get ready so they could go in search of it. His aggravation settled on the topic under discussion. Landy held back venting his frustrations on the topic that really bothered him—the man’s sense of timing.

  “What happened? Did it sink? Has it floated out to sea?”

  Kip’s questions interrupted Landy’s sulking and simmering aggravation. “I don’t know. Hell, all I know for sure is the boat was there last night, and this morning it’s gone.” Kip dressed as Landy shared the events so far. “The questions we have can’t be answered inside this tent. Hurry the hell up.”

  “I’m working on it.” Kip said.

  “I waited for you to get up so we could find out together.” Landy strapped the binoculars over his head and waited by the door for Kip to pull on his hiking boots. Minutes later, they headed to the old campsite, set on gathering clues to the possible demise of the yacht.

  The half-hour walk was easy going for the most part, except the intermitting images of Rae Anne’s face that inundated Landy’s mind with a continuous show of broken memories. From his simple touch of her breast to the heat of her flesh molded in his hands. The pink nipple that budded at his touch, the areola turning a deep mauve, the color of desire, and the gasp in her breath as he took her into his mouth. Another swarm of images cast before his eyes—her golden body lying naked in a bed of grass, her long legs parted in anticipation of his touch and eventual entrance bounced in his mind—making him harder by the second, and a dizzy awareness in his skull. He needed her.

  “What’s going on with you and Rae Anne?”

  Kip’s untimely question startled him back to reality. Did he not cover his feelings? Landy refused to elaborate on the question, but instead played it off as a natural act for Kip to wake up and interrupt a private moment between him and Rae Anne. “What do you mean?”

  “You know damned well what I’m talking about.” Kip stopped and suddenly rounded on Landy.

  Landy didn’t know what Kip intended to do, but he wasn’t going to stand there and be hit without reacting. Furthermore, this subject was not open for discussion with him, or anyone else for that matter.

  “Let’s just say I saw you two kissing and keep it that way.”

  “Oh, well, you know me, Kip. I never kiss and tell.” Landy hoped the evasive answer would deter further prompting and get him back on track of the day’s main objective: finding the yacht.

  “Look, I like Rae Anne, and so does Gina. We don’t want to see her hurt. You want to play games, fine. Play them with someone that doesn’t love you the way she does. And if you want to feel her up, I suggest you do it in the privacy of your own secluded beach or cave on the other side of the island.”

  Kip walked past him to take the lead to the campsite.

  Landy focused on one phrase, and it lodged in his mind with the tenacity of a burr. He took three steps and caught up with Kip. “What do you mean a woman that doesn’t love me like she does?”

  Kip stopped suddenly and shook his head. Landy almost ran into him. Kip turned around slowly and looked him in the eye.

  “Are you blind or just playing head games?”

  Landy didn’t answer the question, but the intense stare surely gauged his silent warning, if not his sense of protection.

  “That woman is so in love with you she can’t stand it.”

  At first, the news surprised Landy, but his happiness suddenly turned to anger. “If she’s so in love with me, then why did she marry someone else?”

  Kip rolled his eyes. “That’s something you’ll have to ask her.”

  Landy knew the answer to that question, but it did nothing to ease the pain of her choosing to go on without him. Declared dead or not, he wished she’d grieved over him for the rest of her life. God knows he had. Maybe you’re being selfish? He wielded his self-centeredness like a shield to keep other women at a distance. It protected him from falling in love and being hurt. The one person he fell for turned out to be the woman he created the safeguard for in the first place. The one he’d always loved, and still loved, but didn’t trust.

  “And while you’re at it, why don’t you ask her to answer a few other lingering questions that are stuck in your head.” Kip took a step.

  Landy followed, that moment too revealing not to pay attention. “Like what?”

  The desperate tone in Landy’s question stopped Kip where he stood. “Like why she cries at night when she thinks no one else is listening. Or why she feels compelled to build that proverbial wall when you are within ten feet of her? Oh, yeah, and why she didn’t have children with her husband?”

  These are all very good questions. “I’ve asked myself those very questions. I’ve wondered why she never had children withwith him!” He hated to think of Rae Anne with anyone.

  “I bet a part of you is grateful she didn’t have a family with someone else.”

  Landy turned away from the accusing gaze of his friend. “I remember hearing her cry the night the storm hit and shipwrecked us. I often wondered whom she cried for at night. I even thought her tough girl routine was for my benefit.”

  “Your benefit? What would make you think that?”

  “To prove something to me, but lately, I wonder what motivates the change in her character when I’m around.”

  “Because, my younger friend, boss, and pain in the ass, she never stopped loving you. What’s more, you’re too hardheaded and coldhearted to see it.”

  “Wait a minute! That’s hitting too—”

  “Close for comfort?” Kip shrugged. He softened the expression in his eyes and the tone of his voice. “The truth hurts sometimes.”

  “Why does she act the way she does?”

  “In her gratitude to have you in her life, she regrets it because, soon enough, she’ll have to let you go again, I suppose.”

  Landy looked up in time to see the break in the tree line and then the old camp. “This will have to wait. Right now, we have to take care of the greater good.”

  The camp st
ood deserted of people and things, but the image remained solid in the recesses of his mind. The debris from the storm washed up on the shoreline and lay piled together in a neat heap of branches, small dead fish, sea grass, and a small unrecognizable part of the yacht.

  “I guess it’s time for a swim,” Kip said, stripping off his shirt and shorts. He sat in the grass and pulled his boots and socks off while never taking his eyes off the water. “I don’t see a mast, so it may not have sunk.”

  “I was thinking the same thing, but it won’t hurt to take a peek. As I recall, the water isn’t that deep.” Landy stood up and stacked his clothes in a pile. Dressed in swim trunks, he looked over the area again. “There’s no time like the present.”

  The two hit the water and swam the short distance to the island’s barrier. They dove in at the same time to take a visual look of the aftermath. Kip’s head broke the surface.

  “See anything?” Landy asked.

  “Nope, just a rut where the yacht used to sit.” Kip pointed just under him. “Down here.”

  Landy dove under. A deep crevice cut into the rock stood fresh and inhabited. A little farther down, as far as the naked eye could see were no outline of a ship. Kip tapped on Landy’s shoulder. He looked up and saw he pointed toward the surface. They swam up.

  “What?” Landy asked and gulped air into his lungs. “That was easier when I was younger.”

  “No shit. Look, it’s been thirty minutes of diving and feeling around in the dark. I don’t see any signs of debris or a sinking vessel.”

  “Me either!”

  “That leaves only one other possibility.”

  “She broke away and floated off.”

  Kip shrugged his shoulders. “Sounds about right.”

  The two swam to the beach, sat, and watched the waves roll along the shore. There was nothing like the calmness to the sea. The waves hypnotized them into a gentle lull until they landed on the beach. Landy felt the tension ease out of his body as each wave fell apart, leaving no evidence of the churned up sea floor, which last night’s storm stirred in its passing. The sun warmed his back. The humidity brought phantom wisps of the lust filled breath which stoked him earlier. He had to get the pictures of her out of his head. He tugged on a piece of grass and absently stuck it between his teeth.

  Memories of his grandfather replaced those of Rae Anne, and he smiled at the new, uncomplicated recollections. If there is a single thing he missed more than anything, it was the days he could go and talk to his grandfather the most. His island home would keep them far apart unless a rescue came soon.

  For now, he was stuck. Stuck in paradise with Rae Anne Jamison-Carmichael. The notion didn’t sound close to what he’d wished for so long ago. The bitter feelings of the past dueled with the deeper and fresher feelings of the present. The girl-child who matured into a woman without him was the price he paid for leaving. I’ll be damned if I avoid my feelings again. And, if he had to be stuck in paradise, he would make the best of it any way he possible. He reclined back leaning on his arms. He looked up at the sunny, blue sky. Who better to be stuck with than Rae Anne Jamison? He intentionally disregarded the part of her life that she lived without him. Rae Anne Carmichael. No such person existed. Yet, Rae Anne Jamison had hurt him so deeply that living in peace didn’t come by him so easily.

  * * * *

  “It is imperative we make the best of our surroundings,” Landy stated, filling the women in on what they’d found out on the beach. “We may be here longer than anticipated, or just a few more days.”

  Rae Anne felt a sense of relief by Landy and Kip’s news. The yacht floated along the sea, bearing evidence of their survival. She laughed.

  “What’s so funny, Rae Anne?” Landy asked.

  She looked into his stony face. “Can you imagine the surprise of some band of modern-day pirates when they board The Pouty Princess? To find the yacht looted of luxuries and necessities. A mere hollowed shell of a used-to-be-glorious boat.”

  Landy stared at her, slow to form, came the laughter to the surface. “Yes, I guess that would be a surprise for them.”

  She watched Landy’s expressions while he talked with his crew about rations and other things he deemed necessary. Landy, my love, we have a reprieve. I don’t have to let you go so soon, and I will do whatever I can to change your mind about us. She didn’t want to be his enemy—only his everything.

  Rae Anne refocused her attention onto Landy’s report. Dread and doubt plagued her mind. Her insides quivered, breaking the fragile façade of strength and ambition she carefully constructed. I’m a woman still in love with her high school sweetheart, and he possibly views me as an enemy, the person who broke his heart, and at best a quick fuck. While she listened to Landy’s plan of survival, one question beleaguered her, but it wasn’t about his plan. Instead, it was for her own peace of mind.

  Do you even want my heart?

  “We figure we still need to build a hut to store the generator and fuel. We need to continue fishing for food, rationing what food stores we have. We even thought of building water storage. A tower, maybe. Something that would heat the water during the day and remain warm for evening baths. One thing that Kip and I readily agree on is the summer days are going to get very warm. We feel it would be best if we continued to bunk together to conserve the cool air in the tent.”

  Landy scanned the small party. Once he connected with Rae Anne, their gazes locked. “Are there any objections?”

  Kip stood up from the table and then took Gina’s hand. “I guess we can see about that shower tower.”

  “What?” Gina looked at Landy and then to Rae Anne. “Oh. I’m right behind you.”

  Seconds ticked by as Rae Anne and Landy stared at one another. The light burning of her cheeks sidetracked her from the confusing images in her mind.

  “Rae Anne?”

  His whisper of her name caused new goose bumps to prickle her skin. The tingles of her desire mixed with the humidity of the island and warmed her.

  “I just wanted to say…” He sat down beside her at the table. “Look, we may be here for awhile. I just wanted to say…I’m sorry about this morning.”

  Rae Anne looked away from the apologetic expression that changed the passionate need for her earlier. This isn’t happening. Did she talk herself into a new beginning? Obviously, it’s not what he wants. She started out as a piece of ass and he changed his mind about that too. So, it seemed. I feel like such a fool.

  In a bold effort to save the last amount of dignity she possessed, she shook her head and smiled at him. “No apologies are necessary, Landy. It was a heated moment, that’s all.” She stood up and looked down at him. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some work to do before sunset.” With her back straight and her direction purposeful, she walked to the pile of clothes at the end of the table. She grabbed a small bottle filled with blue liquid and headed in the direction of the lagoon.

  Rae Anne took her frustration out on each piece of clothing she washed. Her anger went into every muddy spot on the shorts and every armpit stain that colored the shirts. Landy’s odor filled her nostrils and triggered flurries of charged nerves in her stomach. She closed her eyes to the intoxicating mix of man, sweat, and soap. Dunking the soiled shirt into the water did nothing to alleviate the swarm of butterflies in her body.

  She scrubbed until her fingers ached. “Why can’t I get rid of this scent?” Her nostrils registered and tattooed the smell on her senses. The effort used to replace it with the breeze-scented detergent did little. Scrubbing until her arms burned and she was unable to feel her fingers, she at last threw the garments on the nearby bush to dry in the sun.

  In utter exhaustion, she slumped down on the ground, wrapped her arms around her knees, and cried. When the stress and tension, along with the heartache of disappointment released the hold on her pride, she peeled off her clothes and dove into the cool water. Moments later, she climbed out of the water, stepped onto a boulder and dove in again. Back and
forth she swam from the smaller waterfall to the boulder she entered the water. Exhausted, miserable, weighted down by rubbery arms and fighting for air, she stumbled out of the pond. With feeble legs, she collapsed on the grass. Drowsy and weak, she lay on her stomach, letting the sun’s warmth dry her naked body and shoulders. Landy’s face flashed in her eyes. Why does loving you now have to be so hard?

  She woke with a start. Pictures of Landy permanently fixed on her psyche made her confusion much more worse. How long have I been asleep? She didn’t bother to look around. Instead, she rolled over and lay in the sun’s radiant heat. The ever-building need for Landy’s touch tingled within her body, and quickly it became a bone-chilling aftereffect. She replayed his apology in her mind. She battled the unsatisfied need taking root with reasons to stay away from him. He doesn’t want you. He’s sorry about this morning. He doesn’t trust you.

  Landy’s ghostly touches had filled her life for years, but this time their return felt different. She craved his contact and his closeness, but she no longer remembered the soft kiss of her youth. Instead, her body demanded the fiery touch of the man, the hunger-enticing strokes on her breast, the hot trail of kisses along her neck that would set ablaze the passion in her once again. The outward result of such new demonstrations of foreplay made her pussy grow wet.

  “Why apologize?” she had asked of his reaction to her. He too enjoyed the closeness of their bodies, the lingering need between them. He couldn’t deny it because she felt his hardness between her legs this morning. “What keeps you away?”

  Her anger about working out the answer got the better of her. She had to get immediate relief of the heat that surrounded her. The roar of the waterfall echoed in her head. In a zombielike state, she walked into the water and dove in. The water cooled the heat, but it did nothing for the longing fire inside.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  The waterfall hid Landy from her view. He saw her naked body glistening in the sun and studied her, knowing she lay unaware of his watchful eye. An innocent trip to bathe in the waterfalls had turned out to be so much more than he had expected. He knew she would be there washing clothes, and once the notion got into his head, he couldn’t stay away from her.