To Be Your Girl (To Be Yours Book 1)

by Rae Kennedy

  “I’m sure. I’m going to do some apartment hunting tomorrow.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you in a couple of days for the rehearsal dinner?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it.”

  * * *

  Apartment hunting today is, again, a bust. I’m going to have to figure that shit out soon.

  I finish inputting the company credit card number and close my laptop. Two hotel rooms and flights to London booked. First class.

  I sit on the floor in my hotel room. Television off. Window open, I listen to the sounds of the street outside. I love the city—the opportunity, the anonymity, all the possibilities for the future. My mind drifts to the wedding...then to Cade... I should probably just go to bed. I probably should have gone a couple of hours ago.

  The high-pitched rattle of my phone startles me. This time I recognize the number on the screen. Cade.

  “Hello?”

  “Haley?” His voice is low. “Can we talk?”

  Deep breath. “Sure.”

  “...in person?”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll send a car.”

  * * *

  The driver is super chatty. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to notice I’m not taking part in the conversation. He drops me at a dark brick building. Cade already paid him and now I’m alone. I don’t see any lights on through the windows. It’s later than I realized. The sky is a dark hazy gray with no stars. There is no one else on the street. It is eerie. The tall trees that line the sidewalk rustle softly as a light warm breeze meanders its way to the east.

  I walk up the front steps. Next to the door, I scan the names until I reach the very bottom. C. Renner is on the top floor, apartment 6A. I feel kind of like throwing up. I can feel my heartbeat through my whole body. After a couple of slow breaths, I ring the button next to his name with a shaky finger. He doesn’t say anything to me, but I immediately hear the buzz and click of the front door unlocking.

  Of course, there’s no elevator in this building. I walk up to the sixth floor and to his door, standing there for a moment to let my heart-rate normalize. To prepare. For what? No fucking clue. Then I knock.

  “It’s open.” I hear Cade call from inside. His voice sounds decades away.

  I open the door slowly. It is heavy. I step inside and it swings closed loudly behind me. The room is huge. It’s dark, the only light coming from the impressively large arched windows at the front of the apartment. It’s a studio loft with the kitchen in the far corner, the living and dining areas in the center and the bed at the other end of the space. Cade is sitting on the deep sill, looking out one of the windows. He turns to look at me, no smile on his lips. The putrid feeling in my stomach grows.

  “Sorry to call you so late.”

  “I was up.”

  He motions me over to where he is and I cross the expanse of wood floors to the large window seat. I sit across from him, leaning into the corner of the window.

  He looks at me seriously. “What did you do today?”

  Are we doing small talk? I don’t know what I expected him to say, but it wasn’t that.

  “I looked at some apartments.”

  “Find anything?”

  “I saw one that I could actually afford the rent.”

  He nods and smiles politely. I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

  “Of course, I couldn’t afford to put food in the fridge...or pay the electricity to keep the fridge running.”

  I get a bigger smile out of him with that.

  “The city is expensive,” he says as he looks out the window again. I don’t know what to say or do. I can’t read him. We sit for a minute before he takes a big breath.

  I don’t like the silence.

  “What did you want to talk with me about, Cade?”

  The light from the street highlights the contours of his face, smooth forehead, angled cheek, strong chin, and his beautiful eyes. His expression is earnest.

  “I broke up with my girlfriend.”

  “What! Why?” My heart is racing.

  “You know why.”

  “But you told me the other day how wonderful she is.”

  “She is.” He furrows his brows as he gathers his thoughts. “Being with you made me realize that I could do the relationship thing. That I actually wanted to. I’ve had a few relationships since then. I kept trying to find something like I had with you. But nothing was. None of them were you. That’s the problem with every other girl.”

  I am trying to take in his words, decipher what he means, but the blood pounding in my ears keeps interrupting my thoughts. He clears his throat.

  “When I met Jules"—him using a familiar nickname makes me jealous—“it was easy, like it was with you.” That stings a little. “We got along great. She’s awesome, and I thought this might be it. But about a month into the relationship, I knew I wasn’t falling in love with her. I was going to break it off, but I realized that no matter how long I searched, I was never going to feel the same about anyone else.”

  I am paralyzed.

  “After our lunch together, I just walked. I had so many thoughts, I couldn’t get them straight. I walked around the city for hours. Then I ended up in front of her building. I hadn’t even consciously made any decisions but once I got there, I knew exactly what I was there to do.” He turns his gaze from the window back to me. “When I saw you at my restaurant... Fuck. I thought as long as I made her happy it was okay, but now I understand that being with her wasn’t fair. It was a lie. She deserves to have a guy whose heart stops whenever he sees her, who can sense her the moment she enters the room. She deserves to have someone feel about her the way I feel about you.”

  I exhale the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding in. I spring toward him, throwing my arms around his neck. But he doesn’t hug me back.

  I pull away. Why is he still being so distant? I’m looking directly into his blue eyes and they look directly into me.

  “I’m scared shitless here,” he says.

  My face is just inches from his. I can smell his intoxicating stormy scent. His lips are parted and his eyes flick quickly down to my lips and back. My breathing quickens.

  “The last time I poured my heart out to you, you ripped it out,” he continues.

  I had. I recognize now in his eyes the look I took before as indifference, is guarded fear.

  “You didn’t say you still felt the same, but my feelings for you haven’t changed. Haley...” He takes a slow breath. “Do you still want me?”

  My heart explodes. “Yes!”

  “Yes?” He is still incredulous.

  I nod vigorously and his perfect smile is heartbreakingly beautiful. He sweeps me into his arms, his lips crashing into mine instantly. Even in my most vivid dreams, his kisses are never this good. I devour him. His taste. I take in the sensation of his strong hands on me, one gripping at my lower back, the other cupping my neck. I hold on tight to his muscular shoulders. I don’t want to let go of him. Ever.

  Our mouths keep constant contact as he slides his hands down to my rear and lifts us up. My legs wrap around his waist as he walks and I’m overwhelmed by the feeling of him against me. I have him. I have Cade back.

  He leans down and I feel the soft bed under us. Our kiss breaks for the first time as he climbs over me. He touches his forehead to mine, our eyes locked, chests heaving. His hot hand slides up my thigh, bunching up my skirt and the touch makes my skin ignite.

  “Haley,” he breathes, “I need you.”

  I’m already lifting off his shirt. “Yes,” I whisper. He throws his shirt to the floor, revealing all of the lean, hard muscle under his black ink. He makes quick work of my skirt and top while I undo the button of his jeans. The head of his glorious erection has swelled past his waistband and the sight of it has me needy. I suddenly feel so empty and the tugging inside of me has me squeezing his hips between my thighs.

  Cade drags his kisses across my jaw then behind my ear, sending shivers down the whole right
side of my body. His soft lips brush along my neck, across my collarbone and then down to the swell of my breasts. My nipples tighten under the fabric of my bra, heaving with desire. With one finger, he pulls the cup of my bra down and surrounds my pink tip with his wet mouth. I am overcome by the sensation of his sharp suck, tingling everywhere. My eyes roll back and I moan uncontrollably. He kisses the delicate skin between my breasts, then down my stomach, down to my belly button. My little bead buzzes as he gets closer. My whole body is quivering with anticipation.

  He looks up at me, head tilted. “Hale, are you all right?”

  I gasp out, “Uh huh.”

  “You haven’t shaken this much since the first time.”

  I try to steady my breath as he moves up the bed toward me.

  “Just go easy on me, okay? It’s been a while.”

  He kisses my lips gently. “How long’s a while?”

  “A year and a half.”

  He looks right into my eyes. “Really?”

  “No one even came close to you.”

  “I don’t deserve you.”

  “You have me.”

  He smiles against my lips as he unhooks my bra and removes it effortlessly. “I just need to taste you and be inside you. I’ll be as easy as I can.”

  He moves down to my knee, kissing the inside of it and up my inner thigh until he reaches my underwear. He kisses the outside of the silky fabric as my ache builds beneath it. The throb of my clit is voracious, wanting him there, needing pressure. He slips one finger under the fabric, my slickness immediately apparent.

  “Christ, I forgot how ready you always are for me.” He slowly slides my panties down and kisses me firmly against my trembling bud. I let out a loud gasp. “You taste so good, babe.” And then his tongue flicks my little bundle of nerves, sending me into oblivion. His mouth explores every inch of my wetness and I can’t hold still under him as each lick pulses shocks into my bones. The tension in my body rises and when I hit the top and crash down I scream out his name.

  Still shaking, lips numb and tingling, I pull him up to me. I kiss him deeply, tasting myself in his mouth and he holds me tightly as I come back from the edge. His cock is stiff and digging into my thigh, hard. I yank his boxer briefs down to free it. Feeling its weight in my hands, I grip him at the base, making him groan.

  He kicks off his briefs and reaches for his nightstand.

  He comes back to settle between my legs and I pull him into me. His rigid length penetrates my wetness effortlessly and his breath catches. He takes a moment to steady himself then shoves all the way inside me, jolting me with pleasure. Every time he thrusts into me, I cry out, pushing back against him as hard as I can. All I can feel is him—there is nothing else in the world at this moment. I dig my fingers into his back and he slows his pace.

  “I want you to know, it’s never been like this with anybody else. Only you.”

  I know what he means.

  He pulls me up to him, sitting so I am straddling him, still connected. He holds me as I rise and sink onto him, slowly. He watches me, in awe. “Move in with me.”

  “What?”

  “I’ve wasted too much time not being with you. I don’t want to ever be without you again.”

  It seems fast, but we’ve lived together before. Nothing would make me happier.

  “Okay.” The smiles that overtake our faces are ridiculous. Obnoxious, probably.

  “I love you so much.” He grips my hip and lifts me up and down on him, a little faster, a little harder until all I can do is hold on to him as I come around him again. I have his face in my hands, watching as he shudders into me, trembling.

  We stay wrapped in each other all night. His bed is warm and perfect. Our bed.

  I wake to the steady sound of Cade’s breath, his chest rising and falling slowly under my cheek. His arm is draped across me and as the early morning misty light soars in through the enormous windows, I trace my finger along the black lines of his tattoos. Down through the tentacles and then over to the little bag of flour by his elbow. As I slide my finger down along the blade of the knife. There is a new one—a tiny Nikon F. It’s just above the script that scrolls around his wrist and I twist my head to finally read it.

  Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

  ***

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  Keep reading for a preview of the next book in the series, Court’s story, To Be Your Wife.

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  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Rae has always been a creator. She has degrees in Architecture and Interior Design but also loves to draw, paint, bake, and, of course, write. A hopeless romantic, she’s been married to her high school sweetheart for ten years. Together they have three children and live in the Pacific Northwest.

  For more info and a complete list of books, visit http://www.raekennedyauthor.com

  TO BE YOUR WIFE

  CHAPTER 1

  At least the food is delicious, because this guy is fucking awful.

  The first words out of his mouth were: “Whoa. You’re, like, really tall.”

  No shit Sherlock.

  I am tall. And I’m wearing heels, which make me taller. I won’t apologize or stop wearing them.

  The evening has spiraled gracefully to shit since that moment.

  “So, Chip, do you have any brothers or sisters?” I ask.

  “One brother.”

  Okay... I sit for a moment, smiling, hoping maybe he’ll ask me a question in return. Why, yes, I have four siblings, Chip. Three older brothers and one younger sister. But no. He does not ask me anything.

  Our server comes to refill my water.

  “Thank you, Henry,” I say with my sweetest smile. He has literally been the best part of my evening thus far. He’s been my hero, keeping those bread baskets coming during that awkward time after ordering. When there were no menus to pretend to read, just the two of us, sitting across from each other—staring—he brought me carbs and butter and I will be forever grateful.

  “You’re welcome. Can I get you anything else?” Henry asks.

  “No, thank you.”

  He walks off and I have an urge to call him back and order myself a drink. A strong one.

  I look back at Chip in his polo shirt and tousled blond hair that many girls might find attractive. You know what I find attractive? A guy who can hold a conversation.

  “You’re a communications major, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  That’s it. That’s all he says. Ironic, actually. I’d laugh if I weren’t so bored. Luckily I couldn’t give two shits about this blind date. I agreed to go because I’m always up for meeting new people but I’m not actually interested in making a love match right now. I’m too busy with my last year of school for anything serious and after graduation, I’m moving back home where I already have a job lined up.

  Without a word, Chip gets up and heads toward the bathroom.

  I can’t.

  I need to get out. I text Haley to call me in five.

  Shortly after he sits back down, my phone rings.

  “Oh, my gosh! I can’t believe I forgot to silence my phone, I’m so sorry!”

  He shrugs and takes a bite of his now cold spaghetti.

  Why am I even bothering? Because you’re nice, dammit. I answer the phone, “Hello?”

  “How’s the date going?” Haley’s voice is friendly with almost a chuckle in it. There is laughter and noise in the background and I immediately want to be wherever she is—having fun and maybe getting an effing drink. Yes.

  “Oh my god! That’s terrible!” I feign my best shocked and concerned reaction. Chip isn’t paying any attention.

  “That good, huh?”

  “Where are you?” I really
want to know.

  “We’re at Flanagan’s downtown.” Fuck. Yes.

  “I’ll be right there!” I hang up the phone and give Chip an apologetic look. I start to explain there’s an emergency, but I give up. “I’ve got to go.” I get up and lay forty dollars on the table. That should cover my meal and most of his, but I feel bad making him pay when I’m ditching.

  * * *

  I step out into the crisp November night and am invigorated. The breeze nips at my cheeks and when I take a deep breath, the fresh air fills me. It smells like fall. I wrap my chunky scarf around my neck, glad my long blonde hair is tied in a knot on top of my head. As I walk down the sidewalk toward Flanagan’s the street is alive with other people ambling to their destinations, laughing and slapping each other on the backs. Mostly other college students but some older folks too. Cars line the street and wait at intersections as the slow-moving pedestrians cross well past the “no walking” sign. The streetlights and headlights make a beautiful painting of light—red, yellow, and green, against the black sky.

  Voices get louder and more jovial as I get closer to the bar. The air smells faintly of cigarettes and hotdog vendors set up for the late-night crowd.

  I get to the front doors, manned by a large guy named Francis. Of course, most people don’t know his name—they might be less intimidated otherwise.

  “Evening, Fran.”

  He scowls at me. But I smile at him as I hand him my ID and he nods me in with a small smile creeping to the corner of his mouth. Francis doesn’t talk much while he’s working. Mostly grunts. I’ve only got six more months in this college town, but I think I can still crack a full smile out of him one of these days.

  The bar is much warmer than outside. It’s almost humid in here, packed with bodies. Drunk and rowdy twenty-somethings playing pool and dancing and shooting darts and yelling so they can be heard over the loud Irish rock music. I spot Haley right away, sitting at a tall table near the back, a huge foamy beer overflowing before her.

  I tend to hang out with a lot of boys, and I’ve only known Haley a couple of months, but I adore her. She is practically my opposite in every way—petite and curvy with wavy dark hair and dark eyes. I’m surprised she’s out, even though it’s a Saturday night. She generally requires dragging, begging, or bribery to get her to come party.