Paradise of Lead Trilogy

by Mackenzie Morris

  "So, do you . . . have sex with things?"

  Isidore sighs and rubs his forehead. "First off, they're not just things to me. And if you have to know, yes."

  "You are crazy."

  "Thanks. Like I didn't already know that."

  He didn't mean to hurt Isidore. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was joking."

  "Yah? Well I'm not." Isidore says. "One day, I will cease being human. I am going to talk with some engineers and programmers and see if there's anything I can do to stop being human. I can't deal with struggling everyday to know who I am. Some days, I wake up and all my thoughts are replaced with numbers and images of the future that I can't explain. I thought it was because of some sort of time magic, but it's all the way I've been programmed. Then other days, I can't do anything because I am overwhelmed with my emotions. They are so strong and take over my life. The pills help to . . . dull my emotions to the point where I am numb to them. That is why I need the pills. That and because I start reliving parts of my life and I don't want to relive my life. The honest truth is that I don't want to live my life even now. I want to become a full computer and not have to deal with the pain."

  "You're only running away from the memories you don't want to deal with." Byron says. "It's not healthy."

  "Neither is not sleeping for a week straight because the codes and data won't stop."

  "Why don't you just remove the microchip?"

  Isidore laughs. "If it was that simple, I would have tried already. Come to think of it, I did try. I was in a coma for three weeks." He pulls back his hair and points to a deep scar on the back of his head. "See that? I got so overwhelmed by everything and I drank an entire bottle of vodka, took some sleeping pills, and tried to cut my skull open with a butter knife. The thing is, I later found out that if the microchip is removed, I will instantly die."

  "So if the Inquisition takes you, you're gone." Byron says.

  "Yes. I've had this in my brain since I was one day old. The day I was born, they took me from my mother's arms and started experimenting. Twenty years later, the technology has encoded my DNA and turned it into strings of numbers. It controls even my simple brain functions. If it is removed, my heart stops beating."

  "Damn."

  "And I was going over some of the files I downloaded accidentally yesterday." Isidore says. "I can read them in my mind occasionally, when they aren't being buggy. I found out some more troubling information about myself. There might be more equipment in my body than just the microchip. Some of the files were from a report about a T.I.M.E. experiment that they tried to make closer to a computer than a human and . . . I think it might be about me. It explains so much. Listen, I'm not playing around. This is so difficult for me and I don't know who I am." Isidore buries his face in his arms. "The reason the Inquisition was trying to reboot me then reset the network was so that I would destroy the other T.I.M.E.s who weren't synced to their updated network. They wanted me to kill my parents. I often wonder what it would be like for me to be up there in space with the others who could accept me and help me work through all of these issues that I'm sure they deal with too."

  "Can you go up there?" Byron asks as he stares up at stars scattered across the black sky. "If we somehow managed to get you to a space transport, could you go? Would you be able to live up there and find your way? Would the other T.I.M.E.s accept you as one of their own?"

  "I don't know. But that isn't something that's going to happen. The Inquisition will never send a criminal to space. Besides, there has to be a reason I wasn't sent up there after I was born. I obviously don't belong with my kind. So, I have to find a way to cope with myself down here . . . alone."

  "You're not alone. You're a priest. You have God."

  Isidore reaches back behind the seat and pulls out a small book. "This is my Bible. The only I've seen out here in the wasteland. You know, it used to hold so much for me. I would read for hours at a time and pray. But now, I don't have that same connection. I don't know why. Maybe God doesn't speak to machines. I guess my soul was killed off a long time ago. I've prayed about this and I'm still lost. I know God is out there, but if he loves humanity, I'm no longer human because I haven't seen any of God's love for years."

  "Surely you don't believe that."

  "The longer I'm out here and the more pain and suffering I see around me, the less I believe that there can be any force that gives a damn about the people on this hell of a planet. I used to hide behind the scriptures and the promise of love, but now I am slowly realizing that it was just a facade to shield my mind from the truth in front of my face. Against my will, I am opening my eyes and what I see here, what I have experienced, and what I feel, can't be ignored. God may be real and he may love humanity. However, he left me years ago. Only time will give me the answers I need. Even then, they might not be the answers I want to accept."

  11

  Leena screams and runs to Byron. She falls to her knees in the dirt and tries to catch her breath. Her face is streaked with tears and sweat. She points back towards Rubble City.

  "Leena? What happened? Is it the Inquisition?"

  "Byron, start the van." She gasps for breath. "We have to save them. We have to go after them."

  "What? What is your problem?" Byron asks as he picks Leena up and holds her close.

  "Inquisitors took children."

  "Are you serious?"

  "Yes. They are taking all the M.A.G.E. children." Leena says as she grabs the keys from Isidore. "They already killed a bunch of them in the city." She hands Byron the keys. "Go."

  Byron jumps in the driver's seat and turns the key in the ignition. "Sorry, Isidore. I need to use your woman." Byron turns the key in the ignition. "Get in, Leena. Grab my shotgun."

  The tires kick up dust as he takes off after the black armored transport. "Calm down, Leena. We are going to try all we can. Just breathe."

  She holds her hand above her eyes to shield out the sun as she watches. "Go faster, Byron."

  "I'm going as fast as I can. Take the wheel."

  "I can't drive!"

  Byron crawls over her and picks up his shotgun from the floor. "Just don't hit anything and for God's sake, keep your foot on the gas pedal."

  Leena takes the wheel and screams as she tries to drive.

  If they weren't trying to save the lives of children and not die in the process, Byron would have found this undeniably cute. When they get closer, Byron smashes the butt of his gun into the window and it shatters. He kicks out the remaining shards and aims at the transport. If he can hit the driver, they can get the children back to Rubble City. His shots dent the transport, but most of the buckshot bounces off. This isn't going to work. "Speed up, Leena. I'm gonna try to shoot out their tires."

  He hits one of the tires.

  "Nice shooting." Leena says.

  "Thanks. Nice driving. Let's finish this."

  Leena slams on the brakes and Byron is thrown to the floor.

  "What did you do that for?" Byron picks himself up from the floorboard and looks out the front. A large black shadow is moving across the desert towards them. The sand is blown around and rocks shower down around them, pelting the van and cracking the windows. He watches as the Inquisition transport is lifted up by a large claw-like device. It is pulled back up into the airship. When the shadow moves again and the enormous black ship takes off back towards Paradise, it becomes all too clear that the children are gone and there's nothing they can do about it.

  Leena starts crying and she puts the van in park.

  Byron drops his gun in the floor and lays his head back against the seat. They did all they could. That was an uphill battle from the start. He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. Something tickles his arm and he holds it to reveal a thin laceration and a stream of blood trickling down to his elbow. Must be from the glass. He wipes it on his pants. There must have been twenty children in the transport. Only God knows what fate has for them now.

  He turns to Leena and takes her
in his arms. "Baby, we tried. We were simply outmatched and outplayed. We did all we could and their families will appreciate that. Don't take it out on yourself."

  She holds onto his shirt and cries. "We could have saved them."

  "No." Byron kisses the top of her head. "There was no way we were actually going to save them. All we could do was try. And we did that. When we get back, we will pray with Isidore. How's that? We'll pray for all of them. Maybe they won't suffer much and they will be turned into M.A.G.E.s then released. Then they can go back to their families once the Inquisition labels them as failures. It's okay. It will be all right."

  Leena manages a small smile and looks up at him. "You think they'll be okay? Really?"

  "I'm sure they will be. They want successful M.A.G.E.s. It might be painful, but they'll survive. We should go inform the families and give them our condolences." Byron wipes the tears from her eyes. "Think you can drive us?"

  "You do it, please."

  "Okay." They swap places and then Byron looks over the damage to the van. Isidore is going to kill them both. "We should get this cleaned up before we take it back to Isidore. How much do you think he is freaking out right now?"

  "You have no idea. He is probably going crazy." Leena says then giggles.

  Byron smiles as he listens to her. At least she is feeling a bit better. "Going? He's not there all ready?"

  * * *

  It takes a day and a half of straight gambling and bartering with the mechanics to get enough money to make the repairs to the van, even with Byron's extra cards he keeps in his shirt. Leena has been helping some more families and working with them to accept what happened to their children. The Rubble Rebels have been placed on high alert after the incident and all children are closely guarded. Some of them have approached Byron asking for him to join them, but he has declined for now. This isn't his home. Why should he fight to defend it? He has himself, Leena, Damien, and Isidore to protect already and that's quite the handful. Oh, and Blice. There's him too. Though sometimes Byron thinks it would be better if something did accidentally happen to him.

  Leena and Byron stay in Rubble City while the van is being worked on. They don't dare go back out there to Isidore without Vanessa. Byron wasn't joking about Isidore killing them. This van is the most important thing in that man's sad and confused life. If Isidore didn't kill them, he might kill himself. No one wants either one of those things to come true. So they sleep in the cheapest motel in the city. The bugs don't bother Byron, but Leena is constantly squealing and running to Byron for protection. At least it doesn't rain much in the desert. They can lie in bed and watch moon move across the sky. Byron has tried to make it seem romantic, but Leena doesn't buy it. One of the walls of their room is made of cardboard and duct tape. The floor used to be green carpet at one point. Now it is just a matted clump of sand-covered fuzz. Needless to say, they spend most of their time outside.

  While they wait, Byron attempts to teach Leena how to play cards. She is never very interested. He did learn some interesting things about her. She used to be a singer in one of the bars between here and Paradise. She can hold her own in a drinking contest. Oh, and the one that he enjoys more than anything else. Leena is undoubtedly and completely addicted to him. She can't get enough of him and they are constantly together. At night, they can't wait to get their clothes off. Even with this, Byron knows there is something different about her. He will watch her sleeping and listen to her shallow, slow breaths against his chest, feel the warmth of her soft skin, and watch her lips quiver as she dreams.

  As much as she is addicted to him, he is ten times more addicted to her. He can't stop thinking about her and it is the best and worst feeling ever. The more he realizes that he needs her, the more terrified he is of losing her. Out here in the rough world they live in, where twenty-two children can be taken in five minutes and sent off to God knows where, the odds of Byron and Leena being able to stay together are minuscule at best. He knows that he has to protect her and he swears that he will. He will give his own life to ensure her safety.

  When Leena returns from the bathroom, she isn't smiling. She comes back and sits on the edge of the bed. She wraps her arms around her chest and looks out into the dark room. The pale moonlight dances on her bare back where her brown hair is curled and messed up in the cutest little tangles that Byron enjoys so much. She thinks they make her ugly and she will be quick to comb them back out, but he thinks they make her so much more beautiful.

  Byron sits up and touches her shoulder. "Baby, what's wrong? Are you not feeling well?"

  "How long has it been since we first made love, Byron?"

  "Um . . . two, three weeks? Why?"

  She twists her hair in her fingers. "You didn't have a condom, did you?"

  "No."

  "I'm a week late." Leena says.

  "What does that mean?"

  "I was supposed to have my period a week ago."

  "Are you sure?" Byron asks.

  "I'm positive. What are we going to do?"

  He takes her in his arms. "Shh. First thing we need to do is not freak out. Okay? Couldn't it just be from stress?"

  "Byron . . ."

  "Give it two more weeks. Okay? Give it two more weeks and if nothing happens by then, we will go see a medic and make sure. Right now, there's nothing we can do about."

  She almost yells at him. "Do you know how many women die out here during childbirth?"

  "Stop." Byron turns her to face him. "Look at me. I won't let anything happen to you. This stress isn't going to help you. Take a deep breath and relax. I promise everything is going to be okay."

  If only Byron could believe that himself. Is this really happening? She can't be pregnant. She's not. He has to keep telling himself that. There's no way he is prepared for this. He can't be a father, especially not out here in the wasteland. Where would they live? They would have to stay in a room like this. This isn't a place for a baby. All the houses and shacks in the city are filled. They could try to head east, but there's no guarantee that things are much better out there. To the west is only more desert and then the coast. That might be their best bet if things turn out the way Byron is dreading.

  "Don't tell anyone." Leena says as she curls up between his legs and places her face on his leg.

  He smoothes her hair. "I won't, not until you want me to or when it needs to be dealt with."

  "Dealt with?"

  "We will do what needs to be done when the time comes."

  She looks up at him and grabs his arm. "What do you mean by dealt with?"

  "You can't die in childbirth if you lose the baby."

  "Byron! No. Why would you even say something like that?"

  "Is it really fair to bring a child into this?" Byron asks. "Think about the kind of life it will have. Do you want another baby to suffer out here? We don't have the money to take care of it. What if the Inquisition takes it like they did those other children? Do you want to give a child that kind of future? You know what I went through when I was younger. Wouldn't it be easier and an act of mercy if we killed it off before it was born?"

  Leena is quiet again for a few minutes then sighs and kisses Byron's fingers. "I want to keep it, Byron. I don't care if the world seems to be an ugly and terrible place. What if our child is destined to be the one to make everything right? Sure, our lives haven't been the best, but we are happy now, right? Eventually, our child might be able to find some happiness, some person to live for and make their life worth living. I'm not going to deny them the chance at this happiness, however small and fleeting it might be."

  "I will leave it in your hands. If you are indeed pregnant, I will support you in whatever you decide to do. But you should know that if something happens to you because of this, I won't be able to live with myself, especially knowing that I am the one who did this to you. I was stupid and I wasn't thinking."

  "Byron, are you crying?"

  "No. I don't cry, Leena."

  "So, I can keep i
t?"

  "You'll do what you want anyway."

  She smiles and holds onto him. "You're a jerk, Mr. Erikson."

  "You're not much better, Mrs. Erikson."

  Leena looks up at him. "What did you just say?"

  "I was playing around. Doesn't Leena Erikson sound nice?"

  "Byron . . ."

  "Maybe someday. Okay?" Byron traces the glistening tears on her cheeks. "Give me some time to figure everything out. I'm new to this . . . love . . . thing."

  "Are you saying you love me?" Leena asks.

  "No. I didn't say that."

  "You almost did."

  Byron shakes his head and turns away from her. "Then it was too close for comfort. I misspoke."

  She sighs and covers her face with the blanket.

  12

  Isidore and Blice are asleep and Damien sees his chance to get away for a little while. It has been too long since he was able to call in and he knows that they will be eagerly awaiting his call. This is the first time he has had this chance and he's not about to pass it up. He checks to make sure he has the sensor and then takes off walking towards the abandoned shack they had been to just days before. He knows his way all too well. On the way, he tries to think about what Seth will say. Oh, Seth . . . that is another set of emotions for another time. Damien knows he messed up and even with the years of friendship they had after they both left the Inquisition, he understands why Seth believes he betrayed him. It was never supposed to happen that way. Damn that stupid city. Styx is a blight on this planet and needs to be bombed then left to decay. Nothing good happens in Styx.

  He reaches the door and steps inside. Damien goes to the wall and slides it open and goes downstairs into the computer room. He has spent so many hours in here and there are so many memories that he had with Seth. No. He can't keep thinking about Seth in that way. None of that matters anymore. Only the objectives and the information matter.