by Mercy Amare
Ty smiles. “Anywhere you want.”
Hmm… I’m liking this. “How about everywhere?”
Ty looks at me for a second. It’s then that I notice his eyes are glazed over. He gets a very serious look. “Have you been drinking?”
I nod and put my fingers an inch apart. “Just a little bit. Like half a cup. It was so gross, but I can’t feel my fingers.” I laugh and poke his chest. “Can you feel that? I so can’t feel it.”
“What did you drink?”
I think for a second. Crap. What did Jason call it? “T… Tequila! That’s it! It burned my throat.”
“Who gave you tequila?”
“Jason.” The ground starts moving beneath me, and I grab onto Ty’s arm. “How is the sand doing that?” I look up to see it’s not just the ground. The palm trees are moving too. “Whoa.”
“Have you eaten dinner yet?”
I shake my head and feel dizzy from the sensation. Ty grabs me to keep me from falling over. “Oops,” I laugh again. “I think… maybe… I’ve had just a little too much tequila.”
Ty puts his arm around my waist, and I lean into him as we walk.
“You smell so good.” I sniff his chest. “Is it weird that I’m smelling you?”
“I am going to feed you, put you to bed, and then kill Jason,” Ty says.
“Aw.” I pout. “But I don’t want to go to bed.”
Ty pulls me inside the house, and we go to the kitchen. He hands me a slice of pizza. “Eat.” I take the slice from him and take a bite. He grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and takes the lid off. “Drink.” I take a sip.
“I feel sick.” I put down the pizza. “I don’t want any more food.”
“If you don’t eat, you will get a lot sicker,” Ty explains. He looks very angry. “I am going to fucking hurt him. I can’t believe he gave you so much tequila.”
I put my hand on Ty’s face. “You know what I like about you? Your lips. They’re so soft. And they taste so good. We should kiss more.”
Ty grins. “Oh, should we?”
I nod. “Yep!” I put my head on his chest, and he puts his arms around me. “I like it when you hold me too. It’s the best.”
“I think I kind of like you like this.”
I giggle. Why can’t I stop laughing? “I don’t think I can feel my cheeks.” I touch my cheek and feel nothing. The room starts spinning even faster. I’m about to fall when Ty scoops me into his arms.
“Let’s get you to bed.”
“I like bed.” I lean into him as he carries me. “You’re so strong. I bet I’m really heavy.”
“Nah, you’re light.”
“I wish the room would stop spinning,” I say, pouting.
“It will stop. Eventually,” he promises. “I’m going to take you to bed so you can sleep.”
Sleep. Oh, wow, it sounds good. “I like to sleep.”
Before we even get to the bedroom, I feel myself drift off to sleep in Ty’s arms.
Saturday, September 4
9:34 PM
I got a hangover.
I wake up in Ty’s arms. The first thing I smell is his cologne. Normally I love the smell, but this morning it makes me nauseous. I jump out of bed and run to his bathroom. I barely make it to the toilet.
Ugh, what happened last night?
Memories come rushing back to me. Jason. Tequila. Ty… Ugh, Ty. I really, really hope I didn’t say anything stupid to him.
Why was I so drunk? I only drank half a cup of tequila.
“How are you feeling?” I hear Ty ask as I flush the toilet. I still don’t have enough strength to stand up.
“Like shit,” I reply. “Why do I feel like shit?”
“Because you had like four shots worth of tequila,” he answers. “I still have to deal with Jason.”
I groan. “Not this weekend. I’ve had enough drama this week, and I just need a nice, quiet weekend. No Jacqueline. No drama. Just me spending time with my boyfriend and my friends.”
“Your boyfriend.” He smiles. “I really like it when you call me that.”
“Even now, with me sitting with my head in a toilet, you still like me?” I have to ask, because I’d be so grossed out if the roles were reversed.
“Yes. Even now, you’re the most adorable person I have ever met.” With that, Ty leaves me in the bathroom. I push myself off the floor and cringe when I look in the mirror. My hair is sticking up all over, and I have mascara running down my face. It’s then that I realize maybe Ty does like me.
I brush my teeth and take a quick shower before I head into the kitchen. A few people are starting to wake up, and it seems as though everybody looks just as bad as I did when I woke up. A very tired-looking Toby walks over to me. He smells like weed, and his eyes are bloodshot.
“Still high, I see.”
“Always. So, I heard that you had a lot of fun last night.”
“Ugh… I don’t know if I would call it fun. I basically drank too much and passed out. I definitely don’t hold my liquor well.” I feel my stomach lurch, and I hope that I’m not going to get sick again. I really, really don’t want to throw up anymore.
“I think Ty went to grab breakfast for you,” he says. “Once you eat, you’ll feel better.”
“I hope so.” I hold my stomach.
“And that’s why I smoke pot… I’m not hungover.”
“Don’t listen to him.” I hear Gabe’s voice and look up to see him walk up beside me. “It’s all about control. You can’t drink a bunch all at once. Have a couple of shots, and then wait an hour or two before taking another. I drank last night, and I feel fine.”
Toby shrugs. “Still, she needs to try pot at least once.” He turns back to me. “When you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
Toby walks off and I turn to Gabriel. Now is the absolute perfect opportunity to talk to him, and I am going to take it. “So,” I say nervously. “You and Ty are best friends?”
Gabe nods. “Since we were kids.”
“I did not know that.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Gabe starts to walk off, so I follow him.
“Well, I’m still getting to know you,” I counter. “I was just surprised to hear that you guys were friends. You had a negative reaction when you heard that we were together.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.” He isn’t looking at me as he replies.
“Do you not think I’m good enough for him?” I wonder out loud. I have to know.
Finally, Gabe’s blue eyes meet mine. “It’s not you who’s not good enough. It’s him. Kihanna, you deserve so much better than him. Better than me. You’re too good.”
His answer shocks me. It wasn’t at all what I expected. “Why do you think your best friend doesn’t deserve me? What did he do that was so bad?”
“Ty hasn’t just done one bad thing. It’s a lot of bad things, Kihanna. His life is bad. It’s not his fault, he didn’t ask for it, but it happened. And you deserve so much better than that. You deserve to be happy. If you stay with him, you will not be the same girl. I don’t want you to lose your sparkle.”
“I’m not going to change,” I promise him. “But please, tell me, what is so bad about Ty?”
“I can’t tell you. I’m sorry. Ty is my best friend, and I want nothing more than to see him happy.” Gabe shakes his head sadly. “You’re special. And for some reason I want to protect you. I don’t fucking understand it. I should just stay out of it, but I can’t. I’m telling you now, you should run… Run as fast as you can. This is no place for you.”
“Gabe, I…” I’m cut off when the door opens. I look up to see Ty walking in, carrying a huge bag of food and coffee.
“I didn’t know what you liked, so I got everything,” he says, setting the food on the counter. He nods at Gabe. “Dude, I got plenty if you want some breakfast.”
Gabriel never takes his eyes off me as he says, “Nah, I’m not hungry.” Then he just turns and walks
off, and I’m left there with Ty wondering what the hell just happened.
“Do you like mocha coffee?” he asks me, completely oblivious to the conversation that I just had with his best friend.
Somehow, I find the strength to respond to his question. “I’ve never had it.”
“What?” Ty looks shocked. “You have missed out on life. Something about chocolate and coffee together is heavenly.”
I laugh and take the cup from his hand. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
I motion toward the breakfast. “For all this… And for inviting me this weekend.”
“You’re welcome.”
I like Ty’s smile. Something about him is just so genuine. And maybe he is the absolute wrong guy for me… But I’ll never know unless I give it a shot. I’m definitely not going to let what Gabe said change my mind. I like Ty. My feelings for him are real, and I really want to see where this leads.
Gabriel is wrong.
Or at least I hope he is.
Saturday, October 30
5:33 PM
Fallen angel.
Ty and I have been dating for exactly two months today. Things are good. Our relationship has progressed at a normal pace, I think. All we’ve done is kiss, but I think I’m ready to start doing more. I’ve decided at homecoming, in three weeks, I will be ready to make the final step… Then, I will be ready to have sex. Or at least, I hope I will. I really want Ty to be my first.
Things with Gabriel are still a little tense. He doesn’t understand why I’m dating Ty, and I’m not sure how to explain it to him. I like Ty. He’s sweet, and he doesn’t pressure me to do anything that I don’t want to do. He opens the car door for me, he lets me control the radio (trust me when I say, it’s important), and he brings me flowers three times a week (which is unnecessary, but sweet)… But Gabe seems to think that all of this is just an act. Once Ty gets what he wants he will dump me. And I guess that’s why part of me is scared to make that final step. I’m scared that Gabe will be right.
Every Sunday morning we have brunch with the Johnson family, and they’ve come over numerous times for dinner parties. No matter how hard I try, avoiding Gabe just isn’t possible. And he is a very opinionated person. He won’t just let things be. It’s like he enjoys torturing me.
My dad, as always, works a lot. I see him every Sunday, and occasionally we will go out to lunch or dinner together on the weekend. But he’s a good dad, better than I could have imagined.
I still miss my mom like crazy, but it’s gotten a little easier. I’m excited that Christmas is only two months away. She’s going to fly here and spend two weeks with me. I’m hoping that Veronica won’t make it awkward for her… And I’m also hoping it won’t be awkward for me. My mom, my dad, and my stepmom all under the same roof for two whole weeks. If I wasn’t so ecstatic about seeing my mom, I’d be dreading it.
Veronica has backed off a little. She’s a pushy person in general, but I am stubborn. I think she is starting to learn my boundaries.
I have also learned my own boundaries. I’m learning to be me in this crazy life, but me is changing. I like who I have become, and I hope that the change in me continues to be positive.
Courtney, Ariana, and Victoria have turned out to be such great friends. They’re always here for me, and I for them. I never thought I would have best friends like them. I feel so fortunate.
Jacqueline has backed off since our week of punishment. I haven’t had any more “notes” left on my car, and the dirty looks have been minimal. I’m not so sure if the quiet is good, or bad. Maybe she’s silently plotting my demise.
Today Ty and I are going shopping for Halloween costumes. Gabe is having a huge Halloween party tomorrow night.
“We need matching costumes,” Ty tells me.
I’m not sure how I feel about his suggestion. “I was actually thinking about dressing like a fallen angel,” I tell him.
“A fallen angel?” he asks.
“Yeah, black wings, a black halo, and a tight little black dress.”
Ty nods approvingly. “Tight dress. I’m already liking it. Maybe I can be the devil.”
I laugh hard at his suggestion. “I like that idea.”
“After this, I’m taking you somewhere nice for dinner.”
“Oh?” I raise my eyebrow. “Is this some kind of special occasion?”
We haven’t actually discussed our anniversary, but Ty seems like the sentimental type of guy. I think he’s been keeping tabs. For our one month anniversary we went to the zoo in San Francisco, and he bought me a huge stuffed elephant.
“Maybe.” He winks. “We have reservations at eight.”
“Reservations?” I ask, then look down at my jeans. “I need to change first.”
“Actually, I got you covered,” he informs me.
I look at him questioningly. “Should I be scared right now?”
He shakes his head. “No. But you should be excited. Let’s get our costumes and get out of here.”
“Okay.”
7:43 PM
Perfect
I’m at Ty’s house, getting ready in his bathroom.
Just when I thought Ty couldn’t get anymore awesome, he did. He bought me a red, floral print, silk dress. I don’t know how much it cost, but it feels expensive. He also bought me a pair of shoes, I actually recognize the designer. They’re black Christian Louboutin Daffodile pumps. They have a six-inch heel and my feet hurt just looking at them, but they’re cute.
I slide my foot into the pumps, and I feel like I’m walking on the tips of my toes. I’m just hoping that I don’t trip and fall. I retouch my lip gloss and step out of the bathroom. Ty is standing there. He’s wearing a nice black suit, and he’s holding a bouquet of purple roses.
“You look beautiful,” he says as he checks me out. His eyes land on my legs, which I have to admit looks amazing in this short dress and high heels. “I knew those shoes would look good on you.”
“You did not pick this out yourself,” I say.
Ty smiles, revealing the dimple in his left cheek. “Courtney may have helped a little.”
“That’s what I thought.” I run my hand down the silk of my dress. “This dress is amazing. Thank you, Ty.”
He sets down the roses on his bed and pulls me close to him. He’s wearing my favorite cologne today, and he smells amazing. His runs his hands down my sides, and I shiver against him.
“As awesome as this dress looks on you, I really would love nothing more than to take it off you right now.” He looks at me hungrily.
I want him to rip my dress off.
And then throw me on the bed.
Devour every inch of my body.
But part of me is scared. When we have sex, I want know for certain that I am ready. I want to have no doubts. And something is holding me back.
In my heels, I am eye level with him, so I gently kiss him on the lips.
“I have one more present for you. Turn around,” he instructs.
I turn and feel cold touch my skin. I look down to see a necklace. It has black crystals, diamonds, and grey pearls. “Wow,” is all I can say. I turn around and look at Ty. He’s grinning, obviously satisfied with my reaction.
“You are perfect.” Ty kisses my forehead, and I’m pretty sure that my heart just melted into a puddle at his feet. How is it possible for him to do this to my heart? How can it beat fast and slow at the same time? I’m not sure, but I like it. A lot.
“I didn’t think it was possible for somebody to like somebody as much as I like you.” I sigh happily.
Ty puts his arm around my waist. “Come on. We don’t want to be late for our dinner reservation.”
Fifteen minutes later, we pull into my favorite restaurant. It’s a seafood place, with an amazing lake view. My dad brought me here a few times, and I’ve been dying to come back. I told Ty how good it was, and I thought he wasn’t paying attention because he didn’t respond. I guess he really was.
�
�You remembered.”
Ty looks confused for a moment, and then he smiles. “I remember everything you say.”
He gets out of the car, and I sit there waiting for him to open my door. I used to try to get out myself, but he always got onto me. Now I know to just sit here until he opens the door. He holds his hand out, and I take it. Once I’m out of the car, he doesn’t let go.
Ty likes to hold hands.
I like to hold his hand.
My hand feels tiny in his huge hands.
I follow Ty inside, and we are seated in the back of the restaurant in a private room. Ty pulls out my seat for me. It’s when he does sweet stuff like this, I think maybe he really is too good to be true.
Damn Gabriel for giving me reason to doubt Ty’s intentions.
Damn me for listening to him! Why can’t I just forget?
I hear my phone vibrate, and I look to see Gabe the Babe pop up. I’m not sure why I haven’t changed it yet, but I just can’t bring myself to.
Gabe the Babe: You’re welcome.
I’m confused by his text. I normally don’t like to use my phone when I’m on dates with Ty, but I reply anyway.
Me: For what?
Gabe the Babe: Knowing you better than your “boyfriend”.
Me: You’re not making any sense.
“Who is that?” Ty asks.
I shake my head. “Just Gabe.”
Ty nods but doesn’t reply. He probably doesn’t think anything about it. Gabe is his best friend. And I’ve never given him a reason not to trust me. Not that I ever would. Especially not with Gabriel.
Gabe the Babe: I told him to take you to Ishmael’s. I know that’s your favorite place to eat.
I look up at Ty, who is smiling at me, and then turn my attention back to my phone.
Me: Why are you trying to ruin my date? And HOW do you even know this is my favorite restaurant?
