by Lena Skye
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Just get here,” she said before she hung up the phone.
Reggie wondered if someone did something to her. If someone touched his wife, not even God would be able to save them. He put enough money down to cover his tab and headed to his car. All of his drinking was wasted, the only feeling that was going through his body was panic.
Within 45 minutes he was at the hospital, he entered and asked for his wife. They walked him to the back and he saw her lying in bed, and her boss Jin was sitting next to her. Did he ruin an intimate moment? Because that’s certainly what it felt like. Uncertainty settled into the pit of his stomach, but he ignored it.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi,” Tamika said without a smile on her face.
Jin stood to his feet to shake his hand, he wasn’t rude so he returned the pleasantry.
“I hate that we had to see one another under these circumstances, but it’s nice to see you again,” Jin said.
“Yeah, thanks for being here with her. If you don’t mind I would like to talk to my wife.” He placed a big emphasis on the word ‘my’.
Jin got the idea and turned to Tamika, “If you need anything just let me know. I’ll see you whenever you’re ready to come back to work.”
“Thank you for everything,” Tamika said as she looked at him with soft eyes. Those were the eyes that Reggie thought were only reserved for him and random babies that they walked by on the street, but there she was, looking at Jin that way. It pissed him off.
Jin walked out of the room and Reggie took his place beside her.
“Baby, what’s going on?”
“I fell down the stairs at work today,” she said.
“Oh no, are you okay? Is the baby okay?”
Tamika’s bottom lip trembled before she burst into tears, “I’m not okay, I lost the baby. I didn’t know if you were going to make it in time, but in an hour I have to get my cervix scraped.”
Reggie’s heart broke for himself and for his wife. The tears that stayed pent up for years rolled down his cheeks. He hadn’t shed tears since the day of his wedding. His entire life was falling apart.
#Chapter2
“Men are way more trouble than their worth.”
Kalena's Mom
Kalena woke up feeling extremely confused. The smell of fresh coffee filled the air, causing her stomach to grumble. After looking at the time on the clock she figured out that she woke up earlier than she should have. Why did she smell coffee? It wasn’t until the sound of melodic humming reached her ears that she realized her mom was there. How could she have forgotten?
Her mom dropped in on her two days prior and she refused to talk about why she was there. The only thing that her mother did since she’d been at her house was cry, cook, and watch TV. Hearing her hum was calming because it was the closest thing to joy from her mom that she’d heard since she arrived. Kalena walked to the kitchen and looked at her mom and almost laughed.
Only her mother would be awake at 6 in the morning fully dressed, not a hair out of place, and makeup done to perfection. She and her daughter shared the same model-like figure.
“You look great,” Kalena said.
“Thank you, baby, I feel better. Come on in and have a seat, I’ve made you coffee. Do you want me to cook breakfast?”
“No, you don’t have to do that. I’m just going to have a bagel.”
“I’ll put it in the toaster for you.”
Kalena felt like a child in her own house. She sat at the kitchen table and watched her mom busy herself.
“So are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Kalena asked.
Her mom sighed, “I know that I dropped a bomb on you when I showed up on your doorstep and I’m sorry for that. I just didn’t know where else to turn. My life was turned upside down, I was trying to make the best of it, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. The baby was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The fact that he would have a child with her was just too much to take.” Her voice trembled as she spoke. She stared at the toaster with her back turned to her daughter.
“So you just left? Did you all have a fight or something?”
“No we didn’t have a fight. He left to go to an ultra sound appointment with her and my heart felt so heavy. Usually when your dad messes up, I think it’s my duty to stand by him. Men make mistakes, especially men in his position. But for the first time in a long time, I felt stupid. So I headed to my room packed my suitcase and got into my car. Then I realized that I didn’t have any real friends. I don’t trust any of those women at the church enough to go to them. It’s not like I can tell my sisters what’s happening either, so I came here.”
“You haven’t told Auntie Marie or Toni?”
“No, I haven’t told them. How could I? They told me to leave your dad years ago, so I stopped confiding in them about things that are going on. The only person who knows what I go through is you.”
Kalena never viewed it that way, she never considered herself to be her mom’s only confidant. That made her feel differently about her mother and it made her feel bad about the way that she viewed her mom. That had to be an incredibly lonely existence. Even when things were tough, she always had her friends to fall back on. She never doubted that they would be there for her in any way that they could with no judgments and no strings attached.
“So, what are you going to do now?”
“Today I’m meeting with two lawyers, one of my appointments is at 8 o’clock. They’re both in Manhattan, I want the absolute best. I plan on taking him to the cleaners. I’m sorry baby, but it’s going to get ugly.”
Kalena shrugged, “It’s about time you stood up for yourself. I love dad but what he’s been doing is foul.”
“I was also wondering if I could stay here for a few weeks while I search for a place.”
That’s what Kalena was afraid of, her mother staying with her for an extended period of time. Kalena liked her space and having her mother in it every day was going to suck but it was her mom.
“Of course you can stay here for a few weeks, if you need some help finding a place I know a great realtor that always has her hands on great properties. What kind of lease are you looking for?”
“For now I want a 6 month lease, and then look for something permanent. I’ve always wanted a high rise condo.”
“Then that’s exactly what you’re going to get, dad has the money.”
“Believe me, I know.”
“Can I just say that I’m proud of you? I know that this has to be a very hard decision, are you okay?”
“I’m not okay, I’m going to miss your dad and I’m embarrassed that I stayed for as long as I did.”
“Don’t feel embarrassed, he’s your husband. A lot of women have stayed longer for a lot less. You’ve been a great first lady, a great mother, and a phenomenal wife. You have nothing to be ashamed of; it’s him that should be ashamed.” Although she was just saying those things to console her mother, she realized that she meant them.
Tears glistened in her mom’s eyes when she sat Kalena’s bagel and coffee in front of her, “You don’t know how much that means to me. I always thought that you disliked me. Ever since that day…”
“Mom, I’m not going to lie, I was very upset with you. However, I never stopped loving you.”
“I feel like I failed you as a mother and just as a woman in general.”
“No, don’t you ever think that. You did what you thought was best, I realize that now. You didn’t fail, you raised me to be a strong, self-sufficient, and confident woman.”
“I’m glad to hear you say it. I worry about you so much. You had everything materially but what you had to put up with was unacceptable.”
“We don’t have to talk about that today. I just need to get my butt to work and you need to get prepared to see the lawyers today.”
Her mom sighed, “You’re right but if you ever want to know anything, I’m open. I know that I
haven’t always been open in the past, but I’m willing now.”
“I appreciate that.”
“So, I haven’t see any men running around here. Do you have anyone that you’re dating in your life?”
“I’m currently single and not looking,” Kalena admitted. Tommy crossed her mind, but she put him on the back burner, what they had was special but it didn’t mean that things were going to go further. He wanted more from her, but she didn’t know if she had it to give anymore. Men were fickle and they could change on you at any moment. You can think that they’re faithful, but they’ll have a girlfriend across town, shit they could even be sleeping with your friend.
“I can’t say that I blame you,” her mom interjected, “Men are way more trouble than their worth.”
#Chapter3
“I feel like nothing is going to be okay, ever again.”
Tamika
It was Friday and Crystal was feeling better then great.
She woke up with work on the brain, just like any other day. Everything was in place and she couldn’t ask for much more. Her new dresses from the Jasmine Couture collection had just arrived the day before and she felt absolutely divine. They were designed by a black woman who lived in Atlanta but her designs graced the runways of Paris, Milan, New York, and much more. She saw her designs at an indie show earlier that year and was determined to get her hands on some pieces. Now that she had, she felt wonderful. Ne-Yo’s Miss Independent was running through her head. It was one of her favorite songs by one of her favorite artists.
“Hi Ms. Black,” everyone said when she entered through the school’s front door. Everyone was much more formal at this school, she chalked it up to most of the demographic being Caucasian.
“Hey everyone,” she said to the staff that were standing near the entrance, “Is Mr. Shultz in his office?”
“Yes, you can go right in, he’s expecting you.”
“Great,” Crystal said.
She had to meet with the principal to discuss the state of the program, the new services that were going to be implemented, and how that that was going to impact the students in the program. She always liked talking to Jason, he was pleasant to talk to and helped out in any way that he possibly could. So many of the other principals didn’t treat the afterschool program as a priority but he did. He knew what a huge benefit it was to his students, and he wanted to make sure that it stayed active at his school.
Crystal walked through the front office area and approached his door. She knocked on the door and he opened it.
“Come on in, Ms. Black,” he said with his slightly crooked smile.
Jason was a good looking white man and in his mid-forties. He stood a little under six feet, a square jawline, dimpled chin, crooked smile, and dark brown hair. Needless to say, he was easy on the eyes.
“Hello, Mr. Shultz, It’s always great to see your smiling face.”
“Likewise, I’m looking forward to diving in.”
Over the next half hour they caught up with one another and touched based about the program, talked about a few of the problem kids, and came up with a real action plan.
“I think that this has been a productive meeting, are you sure that you don’t want to come and work for me?” Crystal asked him.
He laughed, “I don’t think that you could afford me.”
“You’re probably right, budget cuts have been a bitch this year.”
“Besides, I’m a problem employee. I show up late, take hour lunches, and check Facebook all day.”
“Somehow, I truly doubt that.”
“You would be surprised; I only got this job because I know the boss.”
“Oh hush,” she laughed.
“When are you going to let me take you out on a date?”
Crystal looked at his ring finger to double check what she already thought was true, “Would your wife like that?”
His cheeks flushed, “I’ve been widowed for about ten years, I wear the ring out of habit. I’m no longer married and I’m not involved with anyone.”
Crystal smiled, it was sweet that he was still attached to his widowed wife. That could be a really good thing or a very bad thing, only time would tell. Since there was an attraction there, it was worth a shot.
“Alright, we can go out, but if it doesn’t work out, I don’t need you stalking me,” she grinned.
“I’m so over that part of my life, I stopped stalking people years ago,” he winked.
“I hope so because I carry mace in my purse.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“So where do you want to go?” Crystal asked.
“What kind of scene do you like?”
“I’m pretty laid back and, of course, I love good food.”
“I’m just going to surprise you, would you mind if I came to pick you up?”
“Since it’s a first date, I would prefer to drive myself. I hope you don’t mind. You can just call me and let me know where you want me to meet you by that morning. Is it going to be a dinner date? When do you want to go out?”
“How about next weekend?” he asked.
“That sounds good; it gives me a chance to start sending you dirty texts.”
“Do you promise?”
“No,” she laughed.
“Dammit.”
She rose to her feet and he walked her towards the door of his office.
“Well, I would hug you but I don’t want all of the women on your staff to be jealous,” Crystal said.
“Not just the women, the fellas too. I don’t swing that way but I can feel them staring at my butt.”
“I’ll have to check you out from behind next time.”
“Now I have to make sure that I do an extra little wiggle for you.”
“Bye Mr. Shultz.”
“Bye Ms. Black.”
Crystal smiled as she exited his office. She was looking forward to her date with Jason. She prayed that he wasn’t the kind of man that couldn’t move on from his deceased spouse and the ring wasn’t an indication of where his mind was. It had been about ten years for him so he should be ready to have a good time. For Crystal, marrying him wasn’t a part of her plans anyway; she just wanted a phenomenal date and great sex.
Crystal peeked into one of the classrooms and was about to get ready to go inside, but her phone buzzed. It was Tamika.
“Hello?”
“Hey girl,” Tamika said breathlessly over the phone.
“Are you okay? You playing hooky today?”
“Yeah, I’m playing hooky,” she sniffled.
“Are you crying?”
“Yes.”
“What’s wrong baby?”
“I lost the baby.”
“Oh my god, when did this happen?”
“A couple of days ago.”
“Are you at home?’
“Yes,” Tamika sobbed into the phone.
“Have you told Kalena?”
“No.”
“Would you like me to call her?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, sit tight honey, we’re on our way.”
“Okay.”
Crystal stepped away from the classroom, forwarded all of her emails, and called her assistant to let her know that she would be unavailable for the rest of the day except for emergencies. She then called Kalena.
“Hello? This better be important, I stepped out of a meeting.”
“I know, I’m sorry to bother you while you’re working but I figured that you would want to know this.”
“What is it?”
“Tamika lost the baby.”
“What? When? Is she at the hospital?”
“No, she’s at home,” Crystal said.
“Okay, I’m going to let the team know that I have a family emergency and get the hell out of here.”
“Alright, see you there.”
“Bye babe.”
***
Tamika sat on her couch, surrounded by her favorite down grey comforter. T
he color suited her mood. Her hair looked as if she’d just rolled out of bed; it was all over her head. Her tight curled coils were in complete disarray, and she wore comfortable pajamas. It was so unlike her, but she couldn’t bring herself to do anything else. Calling her friend took all of the energy that she had. Lost Girl was on her television, it was a pretty cool Canadian show that she stumbled across on Netflix. It had been sitting on her list for months and she finally decided to play it. By the first episode she was sucked in, the strong female characters gave her something to aspire to.
Some of that strength needed to rub off on her, which was why she called her friends. Seeing the friendship between Bo and Kenzi on the screen, watching them kick ass together, and help each other through trying times made her miss her friends. So she picked up the phone and called Crystal. Now she was wondering if she did the right thing.
Her friends were great, but admitting that she’d lost her baby was just too much to bear. She spent the last couple of days trying to forget. Although her child wasn’t large enough to feel it inside of her, she felt connected. Her baby was no longer there, she was now an empty shell; an empty and lonely shell.
Fresh tears streamed down her face whenever she thought about her husband. His disappointment broke her heart, and he would hardly look at her. It was difficult being around each other, they were both just reminders of what the other had lost. Instead of gravitating towards one another in a time of crisis, they drifted apart.
Confronting Reggie about his lack of a job was something that Tamika couldn’t bring herself to do. He left both days as if he was going to work, she wanted to follow him but didn’t have the strength and the pain was almost unbearable. The nurse told her that she would cramp for about 2 weeks, but she didn’t tell her just how bad the cramps would be. What kept her in semi okay condition were the Tylenol threes and the heating pad that stayed on her pelvis. When the cramps were too excruciating, she moaned and rocked back and forth until the pain subsided. As if the emotional pain wasn’t enough, she had to endure physical pain too.
Tamika was interested to see just how long Reggie was going to drag out his lie. Was he out interviewing for jobs when he was gone? Did he have a job at a new place that he wasn’t telling her about? It was confusing to her because she hadn’t noticed any change in his spending. Things were going along seamlessly, so it was all a mystery to her. It would have been easy to ask him what was going on, but their relationship was way too fragile. His eyes were red and puffy whenever she saw him. The last time she saw him cry was at the hospital, but apparently he’d been doing a lot more of it than she’d witnessed.
