A Bull Rider's Pride

by Amanda Renee

  “That’s a good thing, because I’ve had all the fun I can handle this morning.”

  “Party pooper.” Brady stood. The scar from where the bull had punctured his lung mocked her from across the room. She quickly ducked into the bathroom and closed the door, willing the image of his lifeless body out of her head. “Sheila? Are you all right?”

  She pulled back the shower curtain surrounding the claw-foot tub and turned the knobs. “I’m wonderful.” Sheila’s voice cracked. “I just remembered I had promised Thomas and Gracie I’d help them take everyone to the county fair this afternoon.” It wasn’t an outright lie. She had remembered, just not at that precise moment. “You’re welcome to join us.”

  Sheila climbed into the tub, drawing the shower curtain around her. The warm water washed away Brady’s kisses—his touch—bringing her back to reality. She was his doctor, and the second she walked out his front door, she needed to maintain that image and that image alone.

  She emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in one of his towels. When she didn’t see him in the bedroom, she assumed he’d gone downstairs. She put on yesterday’s clothes, once she found them, trying to figure out how she would drop Brady off at Dance of Hope in the middle of the day without detection. It was impossible. She certainly couldn’t chance running into Gracie or Thomas wearing the same thing she’d worn the night before. They needed to stop by her house on the way home so she could change. Then if anyone questioned them, she could just say she’d driven Brady to the hospital for an appointment.

  She sat on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands.

  “Hey, what is it?” Brady said from the doorway, leaning against it for support.

  “I was just thinking up a lie we could tell everyone in case we get caught when I drop you back off at the ranch. But first, we need to stop by my house so I can change. I’m already exhausted trying to cover us up.”

  “So it’s not my imagination, there is an us,” Brady said.

  Sheila stared at him. “I only meant for this to be one night. I know I’m not exactly old-fashioned, but I think having sex with somebody multiple times within a twelve-hour period constitutes there being an us. I just haven’t figured out how us works or fits into our lives.” She left out the part where giving her heart to a stubborn bull rider terrified her more than anything else. “Where were you just now?”

  “Gunner’s room.” With the aid of his cane, Brady made his way to the dresser and grabbed a clean set of clothes. “I couldn’t stand the thought of three inches of dust all over his things any longer. I can’t wait to tell him on Saturday that I’ll be coming home soon. Listen, I appreciate your offer to join all of you at the county fair today, but I’m going to pass. There’s a lot I want to do around here, so you don’t have to worry about coming up with a lie. You don’t have to drive me back to Dance of Hope. I’ll have my dad do it when he gets off work today.”

  Sheila shook her head. “Brady, I can’t in good conscience leave you here alone, and I’ve already committed to another obligation today.”

  Brady laughed. “That’s okay, I’m not asking you to stay. I realize you have things to do. So do I.”

  Sheila tried to come up with a tactful way to explain things. “You’re staying at Dance of Hope, free of charge I might add, because you weren’t ready to live here by yourself. You can’t stay here all day, walk up and down stairs and go about your life and then head back to Dance of Hope and eat their food, use their equipment and sleep in their beds at night. You have to choose one, Brady. Either you live at Dance of Hope or you live here. If you’re capable of spending the day alone here, then you need to move on and out of Dance of Hope so that spot is available for somebody else in need.”

  “You said it was my decision.” Brady seemed shocked at what she was telling him.

  “It is your decision. But you have to make a decision.” Sheila searched the room for her shoes, remembering she’d left them downstairs last night. “I’ve already advised you to stay at Dance of Hope a while longer. At least until you have some systems in place, like how you’ll get to physical therapy every day and how you’ll go grocery shopping. You can arrange for a home health aide to stop in a few days a week. You have choices and maybe you should be making these decisions sooner than later. But I’d be remiss as your physician if I didn’t make sure you had a plan in place. Splitting your time between Dance of Hope and here is not a plan. Those spaces are too valuable.”

  “You’re asking me to go back with you.”

  “I’m asking you to make a decision about your future. It’s not just about today. You’re working so hard to rebuild your body and I know you want to come home, but you have to realize you’ll need some help when you do. I’m afraid if I leave you here, you won’t want to go back, and I feel you need to allow yourself the time to plan for your immediate future.” Sheila hated transitioning back into her role as Brady’s doctor, but his well-being was her first priority. “I’ll be downstairs while you shower. I have to leave shortly, so if you can let me know sooner rather than later, I’d appreciate it. You’ve already been at Dance of Hope for a month, what’s another week or even a few days?”

  “Can’t you go home and do what you have to do and then come back?” he asked. “Wherever it is that you live. Shame on me for not asking you before.”

  “I live ten minutes from the hospital. I don’t even know how far we are from Dance of Hope.”

  “It’s about fifty minutes from here,” Brady said.

  “And I’m another fifteen minutes past Ramblewood.” Sheila mentally added up the drive. “That’s a two-and-a-half-hour round-trip. Plus there are people waiting for me at Dance of Hope.”

  Brady turned away from her. “I’ll meet you downstairs and we’ll leave together.”

  Sheila breathed a sigh of relief. She respected Brady for wanting to do it on his own, but he wasn’t ready yet. And she wasn’t sure she was ready for this relationship. The logistics after one night together set her teeth on edge. Relationships shouldn’t be hidden or complicated. They should come naturally. As easy as it had been to fall into bed with Brady last night, in the cold light of day, she didn’t think they’d survive the obstacles ahead of them.

  * * *

  BRADY HAD GONE from feeling like a man to a child in 2.2 seconds. He didn’t need a chaperone in his own home. He wanted the freedom to come and go as he pleased. He showered and shaved with the world’s worst disposable razor. When the fog cleared in the bathroom, he caught a glimpse of his naked body in the full-length mirror hanging on the back of the bathroom door. He’d been in such a hurry last night he’d forgotten it was there.

  He stared at his reflection. If it hadn’t been for his face, he wouldn’t have recognized himself. The small mirror at Dance of Hope hadn’t afforded him a complete view of his upper body. His arms and shoulders were bigger and bulkier than they’d ever been, which explained why his shirts felt increasingly tighter. His legs were thinner, but had still retained some of their former muscle. His trademark six-pack was covered in scars, as was his back.

  He ran his fingertips across the fist-size scar over his ribs. GhostMaker’s horn. A smaller exit scar was located in the same position on his back. The scar on his backside from the skin graft they took to cover his puncture wound was the ugliest of them all. He understood why Dance of Hope didn’t have full-length mirrors. If he had seen these scars when he’d first arrived, he probably would have fixated on them. Brady knew they’d heal over time. Just the fact that Sheila had kissed every one of them warmed his heart. She didn’t judge him by his appearance. She judged him by his career choice. At least she had up until last night. He was still a long way from competing again. He had to find a way to change her mind between now and then. He didn’t want her just to accept his decision. It was important that she support it as she’d supported him through his recovery. She wa
s the one good thing that had come out of his accident. Now that she was in his life, he couldn’t imagine living without her.

  * * *

  DURING A QUICK stop at Sheila’s house, where she’d given him a three-minute tour, Brady had seen a very feminine side of her. She’d decorated her house with whitewashed furniture and off-white linens. Pastel-colored walls and accent pieces added to the atmosphere of serenity. He’d wanted to see her bedroom, but she refused, ushering him out the door before he had a chance to protest.

  They’d arrived at Dance of Hope without incident—Sheila choosing the main entrance while Brady hung around the rodeo school before making his way to his cottage. The room he’d spent the past month in felt foreign to him again. Now that he’d had a taste of home, he couldn’t get back there fast enough. He tossed around the idea of going with Sheila and the rest of Dance of Hope to the county fair. A huge part of him wanted to hold on to that memory of just the two of them at the fair. A bigger part wanted to see the little kids’ faces light up when they got there.

  Sheila rode in a separate transport van with Gracie and Kay. He knew he shouldn’t make anything of it, but she’d grown increasingly quiet since they’d left his house. Buyer’s remorse. That’s what his mother had called someone second-guessing their decision about anything. Sheila had maintained a respectable distance from him during their entire trip, until they’d all piled onto the carousel. She’d purchased so many tickets for everyone they’d probably ridden it ten times in total. Sheila claimed she’d done so because it was the one ride many of the kids could go on, and that was all well and good. But he knew she’d also done it for him.

  “I can’t remember being this tired since my first year at Grace General,” Sheila said as she unloaded a cooler from the back of the transport van. “I’ve had a great time today, but I’m going to call it a night.”

  “It’s still early.” Gracie pointed to her watch. “I thought we could head into town. They have a line dancing competition at Slater’s Mill tonight.”

  Brady thought he detected Sheila’s knees begin to buckle at the sheer thought of line dancing. She steadied herself against the van. “Not tonight. Work’s been unbelievably crazy and I need to sleep. Sweet delicious sleep.”

  “Fine.” Gracie spun to face Brady. “And don’t you think you are stealing my husband tonight either. He’s taking me line dancing. He just doesn’t know it yet.” She waved to Thomas across the parking lot. “Get home safely and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Gracie gave Sheila a hug goodbye.

  Brady wanted to too, but he couldn’t. All he could manage was a “have a good night.” Not exactly the romantic sendoff he’d envisioned. He watched Sheila drive out of the parking lot, realizing he still didn’t have her phone number. He couldn’t even text her goodbye.

  Once everyone had settled in for the night, Brady ventured to the fitness room. As tired as he was, he couldn’t sleep. And Sheila was right, he needed to make some decisions about his immediate future. He’d waited for this moment for so long, he didn’t know what to do with it now that it was here.

  After a thirty-minute Nautilus workout, his body had reached its limits for the day. He made his way steadily down the path to the community lounge with the aid of a cane. He could have opted to wheel himself instead of walking, but he refused to make things easier. He was surprised to see Kay Langtry there at such a late hour.

  “You couldn’t sleep either?” she asked. “All I could think of was the cold fried chicken I knew we had in the refrigerator here and I had to have some. Join me. There’s plenty.”

  Brady laughed when he realized Kay was dressed in her robe and slippers. Her house sat on the opposite end of the parking lot, but still—the woman had traversed the length of a football field in the middle of the night for cold fried chicken.

  “You’re my kind of woman.” Brady helped himself to a piece.

  “Let me ask you something.” Kay wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Have you thought any more about what you’re going to do when you leave here? I don’t mean the bull riding—I’m talking about your immediate future.”

  Brady had been so fixated on getting into shape to compete again, he hadn’t given it much thought. “Not yet. I know I need to because I think my time here is coming to an end.”

  He confided in Kay about visiting his ranch, leaving out certain details. She didn’t ask how he’d gotten there and back and he didn’t offer either. She explained the aftercare services Dance of Hope offered and advised him to speak with the social worker he’d met with in the hospital to discuss his available assistance options further.

  “I know some people opt to rely solely on their disability benefit to support themselves, but I assure you, it won’t provide everything you need. I’d like to make you an offer that may be very beneficial to the both of us.”

  Brady leaned forward in his chair. “You already have me intrigued.”

  “I’d like you to work here. I could really use someone to help acclimate new residents, talk with parents and loved ones about their concerns and help develop a stronger support system for the people who don’t have family here to encourage them. I realize it wouldn’t be forever, but between now and when you start competing again, I think we can accomplish a lot together. If it works out, maybe you’d consider staying on when you’re not riding. Would you be interested?”

  “Yes, very. I don’t exactly know how it would work, though. I live almost an hour from here and I can’t drive yet.”

  “We’ll have to work those details out. And maybe you’ll only be able to work a couple days a week. But as an employee here, you will continue to get free meals and access to all our fitness equipment and of course hippotherapy if you still need it.”

  Brady had a job offer. A part-time job offer, but a legitimate one...with perks. Too bad he didn’t live with Sheila, her house was much closer than his. He mentally kicked himself. The woman wouldn’t let him see her bedroom, let alone move in with him. The idea was crazy, but it was a fun thought.

  “Thank you, Kay. You have no idea how much I appreciate your faith in me.” Brady stood and gave her a hug. “My accident changed my life, but Dance of Hope changed it in a much different way. I would love to give back to the place that helped me live again.”

  “You’re welcome,” Kay said. “I should be thanking you. I can’t do as much as I would like here and I need to rely on somebody who understands how the process works. You’re a perfect fit.”

  Brady chose to walk back to his cottage after their conversation. It was after midnight and he couldn’t help thinking about where he’d been and what he’d been doing twenty-four hours ago. He swiped his key card and opened the door, half hoping he’d find Sheila there. She wasn’t. “Why didn’t I ask for her phone number?” He had good news to share. It was too late to call his father and calling Alice would wake Gunner. He wondered if Kay had Sheila’s number. He debated walking back to the lounge and asking her, then decided against it. Sheila would be asleep anyway and it wasn’t worth risking their relationship or her career over. It would keep until he saw her again.

  * * *

  SHEILA HAD CLIMBED into bed four hours ago and she was still tossing and turning, her thoughts rambling. She already missed the feel of Brady’s body next to hers. She shouldn’t have slept with him last night. And she definitely shouldn’t have spent the night. Waking up in somebody’s arms meant something. At least it did to her. She ventured to guess if she’d been in his bed tonight, they’d both be fast asleep. Probably exhausted after another marathon sex session. Not that sex was a requirement, but it definitely helped her fall asleep.

  She wondered if Kay would take her suggestion to hire Brady seriously. They’d discussed it on the way back from the fairgrounds. Gracie had fully supported the idea and even mentioned that she and Thomas had discussed it a few times. It didn’t need to be Danc
e of Hope, but it needed to be something, anything other than bull riding. Her doubts that he would recover fully had faded. The fear he’d end up back in the hospital had not.

  Sitting up, she clicked on the nightstand light. Bed was painfully lonely without Brady. Now that they’d truly crossed an ethical line, she knew she needed to stop being his doctor. It was the right thing to do, and the only way their relationship would work. As much as she kept telling herself they had an impossibly long road ahead of them, her heart wanted to travel that road with Brady.

  And the sooner he recovered, the sooner they could have an open relationship. She despised sneaking around. On the flip side, the sooner he recovered, the sooner he would be back on top of a bull. She’d rather sacrifice their relationship than sacrifice his life. There was no hurry to sign off on his recovery and that was what he needed to compete again. Of course, he could get it from another physician if he really wanted to. Her heart would break in two, but she could live without being with Brady. She didn’t think she could live in a world without him in it.

  Sheila felt herself falling hard for the cowboy. She just hoped it had a soft landing.

  Chapter Eleven

  Brady hadn’t kissed Sheila since they’d spent the night together. Three days had passed and he’d seen her only once. And it had been a very public meeting. He craved the feel of her skin against his, but he’d settle for a platonic conversation. He still hadn’t had a chance to tell her about Kay’s job offer or get her phone number. It was Saturday and Alice had promised to bring Gunner later that afternoon. He wondered if Sheila would stop in after the hospital. He chastised himself for all his juvenile hoping and wishing. Sheila was working—it was rare when she wasn’t. While spending time with her was important, she hadn’t seen his son since the Fourth of July and he needed to make sure she understood they were a package deal. He’d dated women in the past who were fine with him having a child as long as Gunner wasn’t around. Once Brady returned home, he’d have Gunner 50 percent of the time, so the three of them would be under the same roof at various times. And maybe in time they would add to their family. The thought alone brought a smile to his face. A family with Sheila sounded perfect, even if he wasn’t ready to say the words out loud.