"Yes," Blanche replied, momentarily distracted. "It just arrived from my dressmaker. I'm not too sure about the color, though. Do you think it's bright enough?" she inquired with a twinkle.
"Well, you'll never be lost as long as you're wearing it," Felicity replied with mock innocence, making Blanche laugh uproariously. "Come and sit down. I'll have Candace make some tea."
Over the Sunday afternoon tea, Blanche supplied the Logans with the latest gossip from town and agreed that this had been the warmest spring she could remember and speculated on how hot the summer months would be. Unfortunately, Felicity noticed, no matter what the topic of conversation, Blanche's perceptive green eyes continued to study her suspiciously.
Felicity squirmed under the scrutiny and glanced surreptitiously at the mantel clock. Stifling a yawn, she fought the lassitude that threatened to overwhelm her. It struck at this time every day, and although most times Joshua was gone from the house and did not know that she often had to actually take a nap, she had no hope of fooling him on a Sunday, when he was home all day. If her visitor didn't leave soon, Felicity would fall asleep right in the chair, and wouldn't that give Blanche something to talk about!
"You look tired, honey," Blanche observed. "Aren't you sleeping well?" Blanche had expected a blush and an embarrassed glance from Felicity to her amorous husband, but instead the girl lowered her eyes and twisted her hands self-consciously in her lap.
"I sleep very well, thank you," Felicity replied, wondering how to change the subject without seeming rude Josh was not averse to being rude, however. He sighed disgustedly. "Is that why you're up and down a dozen times a night?" he challenged.
"Not a dozen!" she replied defensively. She closed her eyes in despair when he lunged to his feet and began to pace the room restlessly.
Thrusting his fingers through his hair, Josh glanced once more at Felicity's drawn face. She was already drooping. In a little while she would not be able to hold her eyes open. She might even fail asleep sitting up in the chair as she had done once before. He had pretended not to know about her daily naps because she got so upset whenever he mentioned them. "I'm not sick!" she would insist, but Josh knew better. No one except a very sick person had to take a nap in the middle of the day. And then there was the problem with her eating. Sometimes even the smell of food made her sick.
The worst part was feeling so helpless. He couldn't even get her to talk about it. He'd tried to enlist Candace's aid, but ever since Jeremiah's return, Candace had been alarmingly vague about everything. She had not seemed to notice anything unusual about Felicity's behavior. Maybe he should ask Blanche… No, definitely not, he decided quickly. He would not discuss such a sensitive topic as his wife's health with Blanche Delano. Besides, he realized, watching Blanche watching Felicity, she already seemed aware that there was a problem. With her instincts, she would figure out what was wrong in no time. All he had to do was leave them alone.
"I… Excuse me, ladies. I've got something to do in the barn," he improvised.
He did not look back on his way to the door, so he did not see Felicity's agonized expression. Blanche did, though. "Honey, what did you mean when you said you were off your feed?" Blanche asked when the door had slammed behind Josh.
"What?" Felicity asked, having only half heard the question as she agonized over the fact that Joshua could no longer stand being in the same room with her. His displeasure with her was painfully obvious.
"Your eating…" Blanche began, but stopped when Felicity bristled.
"There's nothing wrong with me," she snapped, then caught herself. After all, Blanche was her friend. Felicity had no reason to take out her frustrations on a guest. "I am not sick," she said more calmly. "I wish people would stop fussing over me."
"Of course," Blanche readily agreed. "There's nothing worse. I remember once…" Blanche launched into a story to which Felicity paid little attention. She was too busy wondering how she was going to convince Joshua and everyone else that she was not sick when all she wanted to do was go into her bedroom, curl up on the big, wide bed, and sleep for the rest of the day.
Well, Blanche thought as she rattled on with her story, if Felicity won't talk, I'll get it out of Candace. But when Candace came in a few minutes later to remove the tea things, Blanche received a rude shock.
"Have you found a man for me yet, Candace?" Blanche asked with a wide smile.
Candace glanced up, a blank expression on her elegant face. "Excuse me, Mrs. Delano," she mumbled absently and went back to her work.
Blanche's eyes widened. What on earth was wrong with Candace? She was acting like she was simpleminded! Blanche glanced toward Felicity to see if the girl had noticed. Felicity was frowning uneasily.
"What's wrong with Candace?" Blanche asked the moment the black woman had gone.
"She… she had a shock," Felicity explained reluctantly, uncertain how much of the story she should reveal to Blanche.
"What kind of a shock?" Blanche insisted, reminding Felicity of Blanche's single-minded determination when she wanted to know something. Trying to keep the story from her would be a waste of energy, energy Felicity sorely lacked at the moment.
"One of those rustlers that Joshua caught was Candace's son," she began, and soon she had told her friend the whole story.
"Good heavens, his brother!" Blanche exclaimed when she had heard everything. "How did Joshua take the news?"
Felicity shook her head in despair. "He never talks about it, but I think it hurt him badly."
Blanche nodded her agreement. "It must have," she murmured as she recalled the bleakness she had noticed about him recently. Now that she thought about it, she also recalled that she had seen very little of Candace on her visits, which explained why she had not noticed the change there.
Candace's withdrawal certainly explained why the black woman had not proposed a theory about Felicity's ill health, a theory that seemed obvious to Blanche. Of course, she still did not know all the facts. "Is it bad dreams that keep you awake at night?" she asked, hoping to trick Felicity into revealing something.
She failed.
"I don't have any trouble sleeping," Felicity lied indignantly. "And I eat just as much as anyone else around here and-"
"And you aren't about to drop right off to sleep right now, either," Blanche finished in a placating tone. "Not feeling well is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I think I know what's causing it…"
"Nothing's causing it!" Felicity cried, jumping to her feet. "I'm not sick!" To her horror, tears sprang to her eyes. She dashed them away with hands that trembled, belying her words even more. Blanche might think that illness was nothing to be ashamed of, but Felicity knew differently. She had seen Joshua's frowning disapproval. He did not want a wife who would be a burden to him, who would take to her bed every afternoon with a case of the vapors. She couldn't be sick. She simply couldn't.
"No, of course you aren't sick," Blanche agreed, rising also and placing a comforting arm around Felicity's shoulders. "And now I've upset you. If I'm not more careful, I'll wear out my welcome here. Next time I come calling, you'll run me off with a shotgun."
Felicity managed a watery smile at the picture Blanche drew, but she still did not trust her voice to reply.
"I'm going to run along now so you can have some peace and quiet, but will you do me one favor?" Felicity nodded. "Please go to your room and lie down with a cold rag over your eyes. If Joshua sees that I've made you cry, he'll come after me with that shotgun!"
"I will," Felicity promised, giving Blanche another hug. Little did Blanche know that lying down was just about the only thing Felicity would be able to manage. Simply standing upright was making her lightheaded.
Once outside, Blanche scanned the ranch yard for Joshua's familiar figure. If she could not get anywhere with Felicity, she would go to the second best source of information. Blanche found him over by the corrals, smoking a cigarette. He didn't seem to be doing anything important, and she wondered briefly i
f he had purposely left her alone with Felicity.
As she strode over to him, she studied what she had characterized as his "bleak expression." Suddenly she realized that Jeremiah Logan might not be the only reason for his cheerless demeanor. Josh was, after all, the one who had hinted to her about Felicity's suspicious symptoms in the first place. Was he worried about the girl? And why shouldn't he be, she decided as a small smile curved her lips. He'd had more than enough time to fall in love with her.
"Joshua, I want to talk to you a minute," she announced, watching his expression carefully as he turned to face her.
His silver eyes were wary. "About what?" he said, politely tossing down his cigarette and grinding it out with his heel.
"About Felicity," she said when she was close enough to say it softly so no one would overhear. She watched his eyes kindle briefly with an emotion that could only be called fear. Yes, she determined, he was worried about his wife.
"What about her?" he asked, unable to keep the concern from his voice.
"She doesn't look very well, but I can't get a thing out of her about how she feels. She just keeps insisting she's fine. Is that true?"
Josh shook his head. "She's tired all the time. She even sleeps during the day. Maybe that's because she hardly eats, though, or else the way she's up and down all night."
"Does she ever throw up?" Blanche asked.
"No… no, I don't think so," Josh replied, a little taken aback by such a forthright question. Unfortunately, it was only the first in a long line of equally forthright and downright embarrassing inquiries as Blanche questioned him about Felicity's private bodily functions.
By the time she had finally elicited the information that Felicity had not menstruated since their marriage, Josh knew his face was brick-red. But his discomfort quickly changed to alarm when he saw the way Blanche covered her eyes and turned her face away.
Blanche was trying very hard not to laugh. How could a grown man, a man who had lived all his life with cows and horses, not have figured out what was wrong with his own wife? Of course, cows didn't get morning sickness or get sleepy during the day or…
"Is she going to die?" he asked in an oddly flat voice.
"Die!" Blanche echoed in amazement, instantly forgetting her urge to laugh. Then she looked at him, really looked at him. His face was carefully expressionless, but his eyes were clouded with pain. "You really love her, don't you?" she asked softly, glad that her instincts had proven correct.
Josh flinched as if she had slapped him. Love? What did love have to do with anything? "She's my wife," he said dismissively, unwilling to examine his feelings any more closely than that.
Blanche nodded sagely. "Well, I don't think she's going to die. What I do think is that she's going to have a baby."
"A baby?" he said as if he had never heard the word before.
"Yes," Blanche affirmed cheerfully. "That's what happens when two people carry on the way I expect you and Felicity have been carrying on."
But Josh barely heard her barb. "Are you sure?" he demanded.
"Yes, I'm sure," she mocked cheerfully. "She hasn't had her monthly. That's the first sign. When a woman is breeding, she gets awfully tired and needs extra rest. At night, she has to get up to relieve herself a lot. As far as the eating goes, there's even a name for it: morning sickness. Sometimes she might even throw up." Blanche had thrown up quite often, she recalled bleakly. Both times. Josh's voice rescued her from her unpleasant memories.
"A baby. I'll be damned," he muttered.
"Congratulations, Joshua," Blanche said with a grin, extending her hand.
Josh shook it. "Thanks," he responded automatically, but then he thought it over. He owed Blanche more than that. "Thank you, Blanche," he said, smiling back at her.
"My pleasure. I like delivering good news," she replied. Then she noticed his glance straying longingly in the direction of the house. "You leave her alone for a while now," she warned. "I sent her to bed. Let her rest, and when she wakes up, you can tell her. That'll be soon enough. Meantime, you can fetch my buggy for me."
He was a big man. Felicity couldn't see his face, but his clothes were all black. He called her name, "Felicity!" and she ran from him. She ran and ran until she couldn't run anymore. Her legs felt like lead weights, dragging her down and down while he came closer and closer.
"Lissy!" he cried as he reached for her.
"No!" she cried, but she could not escape. His hands clutched at her, grabbing and clinging even though she struggled.
"Ussy! Wake up! It's just a dream!"
Her eyes snapped open. For a moment the face before her looked strange and unfamiliar, but then she recognized him. "Joshua," she breathed, sinking gratefully into the protection of his arms.
Josh held her, rocking her slightly for comfort. How many times had he done this in the long weeks since Jeremiah Logan had escaped? he wondered. He didn't even need to ask what the dream had been about. It was always the same. But he couldn't let her see how concerned he was himself. He would only scare her more. "Serves you right for sleeping in the daytime," he teased in an effort to break the evil spell of the dream.
Felicity blinked, lifting her head from his chest to look around. Sure enough, it was broad daylight. He had caught her sleeping in the daytime again. Too ashamed to meet his gaze, she tried to pull away from him. "I'm sorry. I'll get up right away."
"Hey, what's the matter?" he asked, alerted by the stiffness in her tone and in her body. Holding her fast with one hand, he used the other to force her chin up. Had the dream disturbed her more than usual? He searched the clear blue depths of her eyes, but found no fear there, only a strange sadness.
"I'll fix you something to eat," she offered, eager to make up for her lapse. "Is it late? You must be hungry," she added, wondering how she could have slept the afternoon away.
And then he understood that she was embarrassed. He smiled down at her. "No, it's not late and I'm not hungry," he assured her. No wonder she looked so odd. He had made such a fuss about her sleeping during the day, she probably thought he was mad about it. "In fact, I was going to let you sleep longer, but then I heard you…" His voice trailed off as he realized he was reminding her of the nightmare again. He changed the subject to a much more pleasant one. "But now that you're awake, I've got something to tell you."
Felicity watched his smile warily for a moment until her sleep-fogged brain finally accepted the fact that he was not angry. Ever so gently, he pressed her back against the pillows and then leaned over her, bracing his arms on either side of her shoulders.
"There's a very good reason why you've been so sleepy," he said, reaching up to brush a lock of golden hair away from her cheek. She had removed her dress and petticoats for her nap. Clad only in her chemise with her hair coming loose and sleep creases on her cheek, she looked like a little girl. Except for the swell of her breasts.
"There is?" she asked, puzzled by his smug expression.
"Yes, there is," he repeated, using one long finger to trace the rounded neckline of her chemise. When he came to the valley between her small breasts, he paused to stroke it.
"And what is that reason?" she asked, dimpling because she thought she understood that he was going to say something slightly suggestive or even totally shocking.
"Because you're going to have a baby."
At first Felicity thought she must have heard him wrong. "A baby?" she repeated incredulously.
Josh grinned expansively. Her reaction was the same as his had been. "That's right."
A baby! Felicity's mind reeled at the thought. "Are you sure? How do you know? How can you tell?" she babbled, scrambling to a sitting position so she could better examine the size of her stomach. Even when she pulled her chemise taut with both hands, she could see no visible sign that what he claimed was true.
Josh considered her stomach with mock gravity. "No, it doesn't show yet," he decided, struggling not to laugh out loud at her excitement.
"T
hen how do you know?" she demanded.
"Blanche told me…" he began.
"Blanche!"
"Hush," he chastened her. "I'm trying to explain. You see, she was worried about you, and so was I…"
"Worried!" she repeated in amazement. He hadn't been angry at all! She started to say that, but he glowered at her sternly, and she bit back the remark.
"As I was saying," he began again with long-suffering, "we were worried about you, and Blanche started asking me questions. She added up all your symptoms and came up with a baby."
"What symptoms do I have?" Felicity asked in alarm.
"Let's see now," he said, pretending to consider. "Sleeping in the daytime, not sleeping at night because you have to… ah… you know," he began, ticking the reasons off on his fingers. "Not being able to eat, not having your… ah… monthly…"
"You told her that!" Felicity shrieked in mortification.
"She asked me right out," Josh replied defensively. "She wanted to know how long it had been since you bled, and I told her not since we got married." Then he remembered they had not been together every single day since their wedding. "Is that right?" he asked with a frown.
Felicity nodded, flushing slightly. She had not thought anything about it, though. Sometimes she did not menstruate for months at a time, so it was nothing unusual. "And all that means I'm going to have a baby?" she asked, still not quite able to believe such a marvelous thing.
He grinned with satisfaction. "Only if you've made love with a man."
"Well, I've certainly done that," she replied without thinking, and blushed when he laughed uproariously. She watched his handsome face, marveling at the way his gray eyes danced. He was quite obviously thrilled about the baby, as thrilled as she would be as soon as the initial shock wore off.
Josh forced himself to sober when he saw how he had embarrassed her. He succeeded fairly well in silencing his laughter, but he could not quite keep his mouth from smiling. Looking down at her, noticing for the thousandth time how utterly lovely she was, he realized how very lucky he was to have found her. In three short months she had given his life a fullness, a richness that he had not even known was missing. Now she had fulfilled his dream of a child, too. "You've given me everything I ever wanted," he said, gently stroking the burnished gold of her hair.
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