The Desire to Touch

by Taylor, N

  She then starts to list off all these films I have heard of but never seen. With every title she names, I shake my head and I can hear the anger growing in her voice. Meagan stands and grabs my wrists, making me wince, before I know It I have been launched off the lounger and on to my feet. Trying to release my wrists, I pull my arms back, as I am reluctantly being dragged across the poolside. All of a sudden I am stood at the end of the pool area with my head being held in place to face the building opposite. There in front of me is a massive billboard advertising a film, staring right back at me is Trey all twenty foot of him. My jaw hits the floor. I stared at a film star’s groin, my angel is giggling into her hands and my devil is whooping and punching the air with her fist.

  Trey Thomas is lead actor in some Cult Film about werewolves or vampires or something, the name of the movie escapes me but to be honest I’m not looking at it. Even with all the makeup he is, of course, an Adonis. His eyes are animal-like and red, his hair is longer and darker, he has an evil grin and I can just make out some animal like fangs.

  Oh, wow!

  “Now do you know who he is?” Meagan interrupts

  “I haven’t watched any of those movies, but I,” I am dumbstruck, “I thought I recognised him, but I didn’t know he was…”

  “Screw the schematics, have you spoken since? I saw him wave and you wave back.”

  “Not spoken since,” I say trying to put my eyes back in their sockets and pick up my jaw.

  I guess I should confess to the waving fiasco, so with as much dignity I say very quietly, “He wasn’t waving at me, I thought he was so I waved back.”

  “Yeah, I saw that,” she says her voice getting higher.

  “No, well did you see Miss World standing behind me? Well, that’s who he was waving at, not me.” I cringe.

  Meagan laughs, “Wow, embarrassing.”

  “Tell me about it!”

  “I’m sorry but that really is so typical of you,” She says, full on, belly-laughing. From the outside I can see how funny it is and I can’t help but laugh with her, as we go and collect our things.

  I know deep down it was a one off chance meeting and I won’t see him again, except maybe in the cinema, but it made me feel better – for a while.

  ###

  It’s 8 o’clock and I’m making my way down to the hotel restaurant. I am starving, so much so my stomach is starting to think my throat has been cut and I have a hankering for steak. Whilst in the lift I take the opportunity to double check my outfit in the mirror. Ok, hair is still intact, excellent. I have attempted a loose down hairstyle with a quiff to keep my fringe off my face – it really needs cutting. I attacked my dead straight hair with a pair of straighteners to try and add some curls in here and there, I can only pray that they manage to stay in for the duration of the night.

  I am wearing a baby blue long sleeved tunic dress that is fairly short with a chunky Silver watch bangle, knowing Meagan and Lacey they will have as much skin on show as possible. Right a quick check that my opaque tights have no snags, check. Finally a quick glance that my nude wedge shoeboots have no unwelcomed tissue-tagalongs on the bottom, check - Houston we are good to go.

  The lift door opens out into the main lobby of the hotel and it is busy tonight, the usual business execs wining and dining potential clientele. It’s strange how you can spot them a mile off but this hotel has one of the best restaurants so I guess it’s a winner if you talk business here.

  I manage to walk fairly genteelly to the restaurant, descending a few stairs without falling, I think the day is finally getting better.

  The maître d of La Jardin is Pascal, he’s a forty something year old real Frenchman.

  “Good evening Eleanor, how are you zhis evening?” he asks me very curtly

  “I’m very good thank you Pascal, busy tonight?”

  “Ah oui Madam, apart from zee usual Monday night Ad-agency crew we have a table of gentlemen,” he pauses, “Zey will not last here zee night.” He winks at me

  “Ah,” not sure what else to say to that really.

  “Oh and we have somewhat of a movie star who may be dining here, but zat is all very hush hush,” he says tapping his nose.

  “Wow, I guess I’d better be on my best behavior then.” I smile at Pascal, secretly knowing full well who the star is and I would like Trey to get a fleeting glance at normal me.

  “Come, let me show you to your table, Mademoiselle Brown and Mademoiselle Miller are waiting for you,” Pascal says holding out his elbow.

  “Merci Pascal,” I reply taking his proffered elbow – wow my French in an English accent must be so crass on the ears.

  I look at him as we walk through the restaurant; I like him, he is one of the staff I am very fond of as I like to think we are two aliens in this city together. The 40 something year old Frenchman is not much taller than me, clean shaven and walks with such elegance he’s making me feel like I stomp and hunch my back, I straighten myself up immediately.

  We make our way through the dimly lit restaurant; I try to lift my feet more, so not to make too much noise on the dark wooden flooring throughout. We pass many busy tables, every thick black velvet chair taken and immaculate white tablecloths getting marked and wrinkled from use. The walls are coated in a baked cherry red and the mahogany running along the lower half is so dark it’s almost black but it all complements the tone in the intimate restaurant perfectly. Uplighters situated every so often along the walls make it feel warm and almost a sensual place to eat. Thankfully our table is near the middle of the restaurant, which is equally distanced between the toilets and the exit. Another plus is we are pretty close to the bar, which is right in the middle of the restaurant, a dark mahogany bar with waiters serving the hoards of people desperate for a Monday night tipple.

  We reach the table and still smiling I turn to Pascal, “Well thank you very much for accompanying me to my seat.”

  I lean in to kiss him on one cheek then the next.

  “Bon, Have a good evening.” He pulls my chair out and ushers me to sit.

  Turning to Meagan he smiles and says, “Ladies.” He then bows and marches off.

  There’s a quiet wolf whistle then Meg follows with, “Well look at you, you look gorgeous!”

  “What this old thing?” I play, smoothing the dress out on my lap.

  “Hey bitch watch it, “Meagan giggles, “Last time I let you borrow anything.”

  I blow a kiss in her direction, “You both, of course look stunning.”

  Meagan is in a baby pink camisole with butt hugger black jeans and pink pumps, Lacey is wearing a mint green shirt that accentuates her huge boobs and a black leather mini skirt also in flats – both are annoyingly taller than me.

  Lacey catches a passing waiter, “Three bottles of the house white please.”

  The waiter nods and disappears.

  “What’s the plan, Brown?” Lacey leans back in her chair looking at Meagan.

  “Ok I was thinking food, few bottles here, then off to Hooch’s for more drinks and whatever follows?” Meagan likes to have the itinerary down before we do anything.

  “Cool,” I glance around the room see if he’s here but no sign.

  “Hell yeah! I am on a serious mission tonight, Darren is not going to know what’s hit him.” Lacey growls, her boyfriend recently dumped her via Facebook only to go out with some gogo dancer. Needless to say she is intent on winning him back – I’m lost as to why.

  The waiter arrives back with the wine and pours us a glass, I take several quick gulps as all of a sudden I am so thirsty.

  The waiter takes out his pen and pad ready for our order.

  “I’ll have the watercress salad, dressing on the side,” Meagan says catching my eye “What?” looking shocked, “I have to watch my figure.”

  “There’s nothing of you woman. In fact when I go home to England and you follow I will introduce you to a Ginsters pasty.” Oh how I miss them.

  “Ha, yeah then you can come for
a run with me to burn it off,” she laughs.

  Lacey must have ordered during my outburst and now the waiter is staring at me, pen poised.

  Now all I want is Ginsters, “Ok I will have the Sirloin, medium with Béarnaise sauce please.” The Waiter smiles and is gone.

  Chapter Three

  Four glasses of wine later and my head is swimming, I really need the loo but I can feel I am at the point where it will hurt to stand but it hurts so much sitting. Ok body we can do this and bladder please, please just hold on for the next 40 steps or so.

  I stand and start walking towards the bar, the toilets are in sight and I take a deep breath as I’m not exactly steady on my feet right now.

  As I pass the bar I can see the guys from the pool earlier and the one who offered to ‘help’ is smiling at me, I smile back to be polite.

  “Hi again,” he beams at me as he leaves his friends and makes a beeline for me.

  No, no, no, no…I’m barely managing to walk in a straight line, I’m bursting for the toilet and the last thing I need right now is to stop and make chit chat. I need to pee, in fact, I think I am going to pee!

  “Hey again,” I immediately turn the same red as the walls. I think to myself – the last time I saw you, you saw a lot more of me than intended.

  “So your clothes are holding up tonight then?” There’s a dirty grin on his face as he eyes me up and down.

  His demeanor, upturned shirt collar, greased back hair and over white teeth are giving me the creeps.

  I grimace at him, “I should hope so, not coming off anytime soon.”

  “Oh now that is a shame. I’m Guy by the way,” He reaches out his hand.

  What the heck, did he really just use one of the worst chat up lines on me? My devil has donned her boxing gloves and is ready for action, my angel is with her but using her as a shield.

  He runs his hand over his greased hair checking it’s still intact, he has the most unsettling twinkle in his eye.

  I laugh out of shock.

  “I’m Ellie.” I shake his hand, ok I really need to leave now, think on your feet woman.

  “I’m really sorry but I am bursting for the loo,” I smile and turn on my heel to leave but as I start to move away I feel his hand on my elbow.

  “Come, have a drink with me, after your visit of course.”

  I’m genuinely unsure if that was an offer or a demand. Now I’m shifting my weight from one foot to the other like a petulant child waiting to be allowed to leave class for the loo.

  “Sorry I’m with my friends, maybe another time.” ‘Please take that and let me go, ok - make it official I am going to christen this floor right now.’

  I pull my arm free from his grasp and he takes a step back.

  “Rain check?” he asks with one eyebrow raised.

  I nod and with that he turns away and resumes his place with his friends.

  Wow the pain in my bladder is immense and it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. Too much wine Ellie, way too much wine!

  I turn to walk away and who is walking towards me….Yep Mr. Hollywood himself and he’s smiling at me.

  Wow that smile has melted me completely, I can just about hold my muscles down there closed. He’s wearing a grey shirt with a thin black tie and black trousers, he looks every part the Hollywood star and I can hear the gasps of people around and the small mutter of over excited females. I smile back and it must be the effect alcohol has on me because I suddenly feel shy, then again it could be the fact that it’s not me he’s smiling at. I look down at the floor tucking an escaping lock of hair behind my ear, why do I feel shy? One of the duo is back in my ear, Miss devil is wearing an all in one red cat suit chanting ‘Don’t make eye contact’ wow she’s being bossy tonight.

  I can’t help myself; I glance up at him and he’s stood in front of me, I feel I should bow at his feet. I stop the thoughts immediately and smile a full on beam at him. Wow, I’ve shocked myself - I haven’t smiled like this in over a year, not a hint of sarcasm or dry humor behind it.

  I suddenly realise I am going to pee all over the floor so I have to go right this second. Seeing him like this has made my throat go so dry and I’ve stopped shifting my weight from foot to foot, using all my lower body muscles I’m holding my legs stiff. My bladder has given up pulsating its ready to open the floodgates, crap - impending doom.

  I go to say ‘call of nature’ but because my throat is so dry all that escapes my mouth is a low pitch mixture of noise and garbled words – like a crow crowing. ‘Walk away woman, Walk away now!’

  I look down, scrunching my face as if I’ve just stubbed my toe, and head straight for the toilet door. I have to move without bending my knees too much so my legs are stiff and my steps are concentrated – again picture perfect!

  Thank god there are no queues, I dive straight in to a free cubicle, pull down my tights, knickers and sit – wow the feeling is orgasmic, I breathe a great big sigh of relief. The never-ending stream is like a waterfall and I’d be more than happy to stay here all night. Now I am alone with my thoughts and it sinks in what has just happened, how the hell am I going to face him again? He’s walked up to me smiling and I’ve just squawked back at him and walked away like I’ve shat myself! ‘Ellie Jones you tit; you are, as ever, a lady,’ I grumble.

  Still in peeing position I place my arms on my legs and hang my head down, I am so ashamed.

  Right think about it, this bloke is only being nice and smiling, stop reading so much into it. I’m drunk and I’m having a laugh with the girls so let’s get back out there and carry on. I stand and tidy myself up, flush and head out of the cubicle towards the black marble surfaces to wash my hands. I dry my hands then place my clutch bag on the side, must have a check over of my appearance because if I find eye crap or lipstick on my teeth, I may as well drown myself in the toilets right now! As I look at my eyes close up to check, I can hear my phone buzzing in my purse, who is texting me? I reach for my phone and pull it out.

  Meagan xx

  17 Sep 2012 21:14

  OMG!! Mr Plush asked for your number!!! :)

  And I gave it :p xxx

  Oh no, I prop my elbows on the marble surface and hold my head in my hands. I’m way too drunk for this and why on earth would Trey want my number after my little ‘shat myself’ show?!

  My phone buzzes again I look down at it and read,

  555-4219-326

  17 Sep 2012 21:16

  You look gorgeous tonight x

  I walk over and sit on the blue floral chaise lounge in the corner, reply now or leave him hanging? Angel girl has appeared and is whispering to be careful, devil girl is shouting to leave him hanging.

  Right, sod this, I want to go back and continue drinking, he probably only wants me to reply so he can take the piss out of me anyway.

  I gather my bag and put my phone away for the moment and make my way back to the table. Trey is at the table whispering something into Meagan’s ear, she spots me coming and smiles at me. Nodding at him she points to me and he looks up and smiles then leaves. So it’s a case of cute friend – go through me to get to her, great one.

  Taking my seat and feeling slightly pissed off I look at Meagan and say. “So what was that little tête-à-tête about?”

  She seems to look a bit flustered, I nudge her, “Come on.”

  “Nothing,” Meagan stops to think, then continues, “But it may be a good idea not to text Mr. Plush. I shouldn’t have given him your number.”

  I bloody knew it, he did just want to take the piss out of me.

  “Oh, ok.” What else am I supposed to say?

  “I’m sorry Ellie I just thought maybe…I could get you ….over you know…what happened. I want to get the old Ellie back, the one who laughs all the time, who doesn’t worry or use sarcasm and humor to get by. It’s like you’re always having some sort of inner battle with yourself to let go and have fun”

  I smile at her and grab her hand, “Don’t worry,
I thought it was too good to be true,” I squeeze her hand, “I don’t use sarcasm all the time.” I poke my tongue out at her.

  Yep I am now in the ‘cute friend’ remit, what am I saying cute – ‘special friend’ at best generally the tag along. Oh well, put it down to one of life’s experience’s. I grab the last bottle from the table and fill up the glasses, I just want to forget the whole of today. I grab my drink and down it, I don’t think it even touched the sides.

  Looking around the restaurant seems to be emptying now, its probably time we should move onto the club, Mondays aren’t heaving there but the drinks are a hell of a lot cheaper.

  I look to Meagan to ask about leaving but she’s on her feet before I can open my mouth. Lacey is absolutely hammered and she’s loudly flirting with any passing waiter, her chair is moving as she tries to grab one waiter and her leather mini skirt rises up so far her knickers are on show. Meagan is pulling her chair back on all fours and pulling her skirt down, somehow I don’t think we’re going to make it to a club and more annoyingly I feel I may have sobered up.

  “So are we stopping here for the remainder of the night?” I ask.

  “Yeah I think so,” Meagan giggles looking at Lacey, returning to her seat and slumps into it. Her little camisole top is barely clinging to her bulging breasts, she sees my wide-eyed expression and looks down and snorts, pulling it back up.

  “I’m so glad you moved over here Ellie,” She looks to me turning all gushy. We can safely say the drunken night has now turned to mushiness.

  Meagan continues lunging her arms around me but landing on the arms of my chair, “I wish you’d not had to go through that horrific experience. I would kill that fuck if I ever laid my eyes on him.”

  Lacey raises her glass, “Join the queue,” her glass sloshes back on the table, wine spilling all over the tablecloth.

  “What he did, what happened…” Meagan hiccups, “I tried to come for the court case but Dad said it was better for him to come and I was to prepare the apartment for you. What happened to Ri-?”