The Desire to Touch

by Taylor, N

  I follow as he leads back to the hall way and then through a door, the whole time I am behind limping with my hand on my knee I can’t help but feel like Igor following his master.

  “Sit over there,” Trey says pointing to a black marble Island in the centre of the palatial kitchen.

  “Yesh mashter,” I grumble taking Trey completely by surprise and make him laugh out loud.

  “I like the sound of that.” A wry smile touches his beautiful lips.

  “Ha! Dream on buddy!”

  I climb up on to the stool and sit while Trey disappears into another door. I take my phone from my bag and text Meagan quickly.

  At his house in Long Island! Fell over

  & cut knee open – bone hanging out –

  blood all over his white carpets!!! X

  I hit send and place my phone on the Island next to my bag. Trey returns and places a box on the surface next to me, opening it he searches through, pulling out plasters, tape, bandages and more. He walks over to the sink and wets a bit of tissue then comes back to me and places it on my knee, I jump.

  “Sorry,” he whispers.

  “It’s cold,” I laugh.

  I look down and start to play with my bangle, he’s so graceful in every movement. This man is too good for me.

  “I didn’t know first aid was necessary for film stars.” Ignoring my comment, he wipes the blood from my leg then dries it. “Can you see bone?” I genuinely do worry you may be able to see something hanging out.

  “No, I think you’ve escaped stitches.” He takes a plaster and goes to open it.

  I chuckle, “I don’t need that, it’ll stop bleeding in a bit, I’ll just hold the tissue on it.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes,” I reach up and stroke the side of his face.

  Whoa, what am I doing? The care in him has got me going all soppy. I quickly retract my hand, not believing I have just done that. Old Ellie is definitely still in there somewhere and she’s trying to claw her way back out. Our eyes are held in a stare of wills and I feel like he’s searching my soul, I look away and feel myself turning red.

  “It’s not a necessity, more of an occupational hazard.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  Trey sighs as he repacks the box, “Julian is my brother. Mom brings him over every so often and, as you can imagine, he has a few accidents.”

  Oh shit, of course!

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise,” first thing tomorrow I’m going to change my name to Miss Cringe. Letting out a deep sigh, Trey scoops me up off the stool and places me on my feet.

  “I think you’ll live Miss Jones.”

  I smile.

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Not really but I’ll eat if you’ve cooked something.”

  “I hadn’t cooked, I was going to order something in for us.”

  I am so relieved; I don’t think I could eat a morsel and still keep my stomach sucked in to this dress.

  “More wine?”

  “Yes please.”

  Trey walks over to the fridge and produces a bottle that he promptly refills our glasses from. I am drinking it way too quickly and my Devil appears at my ear ‘Go on, ask him who the Swedish bitch is!’

  I take a deep breath in and look at Trey who is leaning on the Island in front of me, just looking at me, almost as if he’s trying to read my mind.

  I sit myself back on the stool facing him, “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course anything.”

  “Why did you invite me here?”

  He lifts himself from his leaning position and props his hands on the edge of the island, “I wanted to thank you and to apologise.”

  Apologise? Oh for God’s sake this is going to be bad, note to self – ‘Coat is in the living room.’

  “I wanted to thank you for finding Julian and keeping him safe, seriously my mom was going mental at me. I also wanted to apologise for my reaction earlier when I picked him up, I was so shocked to see you there with him I…I couldn’t speak. So I dropped him back at Moms and then drove back to the hotel to leave the note for you. I had some business to sort out and I knew you’d be ready and waiting when I was done.”

  “You knew I’d accept your dinner offer? I think your head is a little too big for those shoulders,” I smirk.

  Trey walks towards me and places his hand over mine that is holding my wine, “Don’t deny it. I know you feel that…spark we have.”

  I pull my hand from under his, he may be right and we have an amazing vibe going on but I don’t think his over-sized ego needs much more of a boost.

  “The hand delivered note didn’t give me much choice really, very particular about the hand-delivering were we?” I add moving my glass from his grasp.

  “I had to make sure you were in, anyway they were only more than happy to oblige,” he says while rifling through one of the many cupboards.

  “So Julian’s your brother?”

  Score me – subject change!

  “He’s my older brother actually he’s my older half-brother.”

  “Older?” Treys only 28.

  “He’s 32, you don’t understand how much of a heart attack my mom was having.”

  Trey places a bowl of potato chips in front of us on the Island and he resumes his position on the other side facing me. Though I’m not hungry, I can’t help but tuck into the crisps as the wine is going to my head and I need to soak up the alcohol.

  “How did you lose him?”

  “Well,” he walks over to a laptop that’s set up in the corner of the room and taps a few keys, music then starts playing gently in the background. “He was out with me for the day and I was taking him for some lunch, we then went and saw the classic car show in the City, I turned around and he was gone. Michael was with us but he can’t get too close without Julian freaking out, so he has to keep a safe distance. I’m telling you, Julian just disappeared.”

  “It’s ok, these things happen.”

  “You don’t understand, I love him I do but…,” He creases his face up and then taking a deep breath says, “It just happens more often than not, when he’s with me. Long story short- me and Michael split up to look for him and after no sign I called mom who went crazy at me. So I back- tracked the day until mom called to say someone was waiting with him and I was to go pick him up. All because he lost his god-damn car!”

  The movie star has normal people issues; this feels so surreal.

  “How severe is his autism?”

  “Pretty bad on the spectrum.”

  “He seems lovely.” I smile

  Trey huffs, “Sometimes.”

  “I’m just glad I found his car, it could’ve ended a lot differently.”

  Trey nods taking a sip of wine then eyes me suspiciously, “How did you gain his trust so quickly? And how do you know he’s autistic?”

  “I told you I used to work at a private psychiatry clinic,” I shudder at the memories, “Well, we had a few autistic patients come in, while they were doing a study on behavioral issues. I sometimes had to sit in to take notes on the study and other times I used to sit with them while….Dr. Anderson…. spoke with the parents.”

  Just saying his name has caused a ton of bile to work its way up to my mouth and I’m swallowing hard to try and get rid of it, I grab my drink and try to help shift it along.

  Without a word Trey refills my glass, bad idea - my feet are finding it hard to stay on the foot rail of the island, they just keep slipping off. I will not drink this one I will just sip and play with it – he must think I have a drink problem? No, what if he’s trying to get me drunk to take advantage?

  Devil girl appears ‘No need to be drunk, just do it!’ Angel appears ‘He wouldn’t do that - he seems lovely, well the man we’ve known for two days seems lovely’.

  “Julian raved about you when I got him home.”

  “Huh?” that erased the thoughts from my head instantly.

  “Yeah, told my mom all about yo
u.”

  I blush, “He was sweet once I got him to trust me.”

  “You’re lucky you got near him, it can take weeks of visits for some people.”

  “What can I say, he has good taste.”

  “You stole my line again,” He teases, leaning across the bar.

  I am definitely past tipsy now, more merry than tipsy. I smile at him and shrug my shoulders. My feet slip off the bar one more time, I must look slaughtered to him.

  “Sorry, my shoes keep slipping on the well-polished foot rest,” I giggle

  Trey smiles and shakes his head, “How come you were in the area today?”

  “My friend is the singer in Hooch’s,” I grab a few more crisps, “He had a suit fitting near there and we were going for some food.”

  Trey nods and walks back over to the laptop, “So this friend, is he just a friend?”

  “Yes a very dear friend that helped me settle in over here.” Whoa ok, we’re going there are we?

  Trey starts tapping the keyboard again and the music changes.

  I’m drunk and confused at what he’s doing, “Wouldn’t it be easier to just hook your iPod up in here?”

  “Maybe but I have this in here so I can go online at any point and download any song I want to listen to.”

  Fair enough, right go for it Ellie now is your chance, “Can I ask you something else?”

  He nods and the feeling of worry starts the jumping in my stomach again. “Am I going to get my eyes scratched out by being here?”

  Trey looks up from the laptop at me with a very bemused expression.

  I look down to my bangle and start to fiddle, “I read an article about you while I was in Lorenzo’s and it said something about the many women you’ve been seeing, seen with and slept with but in particular one Delaney Green?”

  He sighs, walks over to me and takes a seat on the stool next to me, great now I have a personal space issue!

  “It’s just I don’t do ‘the other woman’ thing, it’s really not me and I don’t want to get into any trouble,” I can hear my own voice going up in pitch and the rate at which the words are leaving my mouth could give superman a run for his money. “I don’t know why I accepted to come, let’s face it, like we said last night, two different worlds and I’m not the one night kind of girl, but I think it was more my cousin that pushed me to come and..” Hell, even I got confused with what I was saying.

  He places his hand on my leg, which silences me instantly, he then places it on my hand to stop the relentless bangle twitching. “She is just a friend, a very dear family friend. Her parents are very good friends with my parents as well as being my godparents. It was purely a career booster for her that’s all.”

  ‘Bollocks!’ is being screamed in one ear by Devil and Angel has hold of her chin and mutters ‘plausible’.

  “Right?” I am totally confused now and I think my face says it all.

  “Honestly,” he places his hand back on my knee sending quivers through my legs. “As soon as all the pictures and gossip ran, she was picked up and used as the face for fashion week.”

  “But what about all the other women? I’m not like all of them, if that’s what you’re after, it’s not me – it’s been so long and I’m not used to this, maybe I should leave now.”

  Trey grabs my hand again releasing it from my bangle. “You’re right. You’re not like anyone I’ve met before and that’s what intrigues me about you, I want to know more.”

  My heart skips a beat, my stomach flutters and I feel the heat from deep within start to warm through my body. Of course, it could be the alcohol.

  “You’re crazy! I could be some kind of psycho stalker for all you know! You’ve invited me here to your private place and where is your security? I could have a shrine for you in my wardrobe”.

  “When’s my birthday?”

  “Erm….” Wow caught me off guard here, “Didn’t realise there was going to be a Super Fan pop quiz.”

  He laughs, “Answer the question when is my birthday?”

  “June 10th?”

  “Whoa, you have done your homework.”

  “Oh my God is that right?” I am so shocked. I must have hidden psychic powers.

  “Hell no, I think it’s safe to say you’re not a stalker.”

  Oh I feel really deflated now, I was going to guess the lotto numbers but I guess I won’t bother.

  “Though the thought of you having a shrine for me is actually quite endearing.”

  He walks over to the fridge and fetches the bottle to top up my glass again, I didn’t even realise I had finished it.

  “You’ll have a long wait for a shrine to fit into my wardrobe.”

  My phone beeps making me jump. I grab it off the side and read the message;

  Meagan xxx

  18 Sep 2012 23:17

  WTF? Are you ok? Relax! X

  Ireply quickly,

  I’m ok lol, very relaxed :) xx

  I hit send and place my phone back on the island surface.

  “So what do you do for fun?” Trey returns to his seat.

  “Not much really. We’re working on the anniversary party for the hotel, so that’s pretty full on at the moment but that’s about it.” I go to grab my bangle again but I see his hand twitch as if to stop me, so I refrain and just sigh at how boring I sound. Seriously this guy is going to get bored with me, one bunk-up and I’ll be out. I just know it.

  “Ok surely you did stuff back in England?”

  “I worked at a club, looked after my Grandad, worked and went drinking way too much.” Christ I am really boring. I dive into the crisps again, I’ve started now and I doubt I’ll stop, but on the plus side I’m not past the ‘hold in stomach’ point.

  “Worked in a club? Dancer?” His eyes widen with shock.

  “No, no,” I laugh and glance down at my held in stomach, “I sang occasionally. Anyway, enough about me - what about you, do you like being famous?”

  He sighs, “Real answer?”

  I nod and feel the relief as the light is taken away from me.

  “I love the money and all this,” he waves his arms around the room, “It’s all I know. My Mom was a child film star, her career was unblemished until she was twenty one when she had Julian. Then Julian’s father was killed in a motorcycle crash when Julian was three months old and she went crazy and became a recluse, effectively dropping off the radar, she never appeared on a TV, cinema screen or story again. Julian was hard for Mom to bring up on her own and she just broke. She met my Dad and he ‘saved her’. They had me and I was thrust into the spotlight pretty much from birth, to live out her dreams I think. Like I said, it’s all I know, all I’ve ever known. I won’t deny that the publicity can get tedious.”

  “Wow.” I wasn’t expecting that much honesty and history. “They don’t print that in the magazines.”

  “No, but ‘Trey Thomas installs new speakers’ wouldn’t sell magazines.”

  “You install your own speakers?” I laugh

  “I have my hobbies.” He smirks.

  “‘Trey Thomas is technology geek, now that would sell!”

  “Watch it you!”

  Trey lunges at me but in my sheer blind panic I scream and throw my arms out to try and protect myself, sending my wine all over him and the glass to the floor with a smash.

  Shit! What the hell have I just done?

  Chapter Nine

  My jaw is on the floor. I look at Trey and he is just standing there staring down at his jumper, completely gob smacked by my reaction.

  “I. Am. So. Sorry.” I panic staring at the mess.

  What the hell did I do that for? Seriously, it’s not him…it’s not him… its Trey! I have to curb this. I take the biggest gulp of air to fill my lungs and clear the drunken haze, Devil girl is muttering hidden behind her hands ‘What a complete over-reaction!’

  My body is starting to shake and the sweats have appeared, my heart rate has peaked and I feel like I’m stood on the precipi
ce of a mountain waiting to fall or be saved – how will he react? I want to go home…Now!

  “It’s ok, I take it you don’t like being tickled?” he asks whilst removing his soaked sweater.

  “I didn’t know what….I don’t like,” Words don’t fail me now, “I am so sorry.”

  I jump off the stool and start picking up the glass, my face must be so red, I can feel the heat radiating from my skin and the threat of embarrassed tears have started pooling in my eyes.

  Trey appears next to me on his knees. My God, the sight of him topless is breath taking up close but right now I am so ashamed I can’t be fooled by his good looks.

  “Ellie you’re shaking!” He catches my hand in his, making me flinch.

  “Are you scared of me?”

  I look up at him and see the pain in his eyes, the same pain reflected in his mother’s eyes in the pictures. ‘Oh no, no not you, you make me feel...safe...like old Ellie’ I scream on the inside.“No. I’m not scared of you, I just haven’t done this,” I gesture my finger between us, “I have never been in this situation, then I don’t think many ever have.”

  “Bad experience?”

  I laugh, “You have no idea.”

  “Leave this I’ll do it, I don’t want to send you home all sliced up, Brendan would have me whacked or something.”

  Trey stands, raises me up by my hand and sits me on the stool, he then continues fussing round the mess, tidying it up.

  “My uncle isn’t mafia you know.” I chuckle and shake my head, “Whacked.”

  He glances up at me and throws me an ‘I-know-more-than-you’ smile, “Oh I’m sure Brendan has connections.”

  “Not really.”

  “He works for Mr. Valentine, yes?”

  “Yeh”

  “Right hand man?”

  “I guess,” Where is this going??

  He scrapes the glass into a dustpan, looks at me and smiles as if to say ‘told you so’.

  I see a chunk of glass by the door that he’s missed and I jump down to pick it up, as I grasp it in my fingers his hand connects with mine once more making me flinch. I see his face and he looks worried again.