Crossroads

by Mary Ting

  Chapter 24

  Austin and Andrew both opened the car doors for us, greeting us like gentlemen. We exchanged hugs, and they led us back into the same campground.

  “I told you we would hike together someday,” Austin said in a friendly tone.

  “Yeah, I guess,” I said with a smile. Deep down inside, I wanted to go home. I noticed his oversized bulky backpack, and I wondered what on Earth he had inside. He caught me staring at his backpack, and I quickly looked down.

  “Here,” he said, placing a backpack on my shoulders. “You have a flashlight, emergency kit, snacks, solar blanket, and a bottle of water.”

  “All this for one day?” I asked.

  “Yep!”

  “Thanks,” I said, wondering if I should be thankful or upset.

  “Not a problem. Need to be prepared, just in case.”

  “For?”

  “Just in case I decide to keep you up here for a week.”

  “What!” I said, surprised.

  “Just joking, Claudia. I don’t think you would even survive past two days,” he said with a smirk.

  Feeling slightly offended, I was just about to retaliate with a good comeback when Andrew interrupted our conversation. “Ready to go?”

  “You lead,” Austin insisted.

  Andrew led the way and Patty walked beside him. I started walking ahead of Austin, but he paced himself quickly and walked alongside me. I knew this would happen; it felt like a double date. I was just hoping that he didn’t think it was.

  He broke the silence. “Claudia, sorry about Gamma.” He sounded sincere.

  All of a sudden, I felt bad for not calling, but he did say to call if I needed to talk. Since I didn’t, my guilt disappeared as quickly as it came. “I didn’t call because I was just—”

  He interrupted and didn’t let me continue. “It’s okay. I understand. Like I said before, I know what it is like to lose someone. Don’t be sorry, it is me who is sorry.”

  I couldn’t believe how sweet he was. He knew the right words to say, and I believed he was genuine. Now I felt bad for being rude. Little by little, I opened up to him. We started talking about school, and life in general. We were talking and laughing when we finally reached our destination.

  It was just as breathtaking as I had seen it before. This was the same view I had seen with Michael, but we were on the opposite side. Thoughts of Michael and the alkins ran through my mind. I was missing Michael like crazy, but I didn’t realize how much I missed Davin, Caleb, and Vivian too. I wondered what they were doing. Even in the company of my best friend, I wished to be with Michael and the alkins. I shook the thought out of my head and told myself to enjoy hiking with my friends.

  “So what do you think?” Patty interrupted my thoughts.

  “It’s amazing,” I said. How could I explain that I had seen this view before? I had to pretend that it was my first time. The view was so magnificent that I didn’t even have to fake my reaction.

  “I love hiking up here. This view helps me think and takes my troubles away,” Andrew said, looking straight ahead.

  “I agree,” Austin said, patting his buddy on the back. He seemed mesmerized by the view.

  “Is anyone hungry?” Patty asked.

  “I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m starving,” I answered.

  Before anyone else could respond, Austin laid a picnic blanket right in front of us.

  I had a quick flashback of the day Michael and I had our first picnic together.

  “Hungry, anyone?” Austin asked, invading my thoughts. “From my part-time job,” he said, smiling.

  He pulled turkey avocado sandwiches and several bags of chips out of his backpack. No wonder it looked so bulky. He had stuffed the picnic items in it.

  “Thanks, Austin,” Patty said as her eyes widened with delight. She sat down right beside Andrew.

  Austin motioned me to sit down first, before he sat. When I sat down to pick up one of the sandwiches, Austin sat next to me. It was silent for a while as we devoured our lunches, admiring the view.

  “What are you thinking about?” Austin asked.

  If I told him, he would think I was crazy. “Just the clouds. What kind of shapes do you see in the clouds?” I asked.

  “I see a happy face and over there…a bunny,” Patty shouted with excitement.

  “Let’s see. I see a shape of a lion’s head,” Andrew said.

  “How about you, Austin?” I asked.

  “This one is hard to see, but I see Orion,” he said, looking serious.

  “How? Impossible,” I said with a frown, knowing he was making it up.

  “Okay, I can see a star,” he said, pointing to five small clouds. “But it doesn’t twinkle like your eyes,” he said, his eyes looking into mine so intensely that I could feel the depth of his words.

  I blushed and turned away, more from the embarrassment of Andrew and Patty listening. They turned their heads, trying to hide their huge grins, but it didn’t work. While we were still munching on our chips, the white fluffy clouds disappeared and were replaced by dark gray clouds.

  “What do you see?” Austin asked me, after silence had taken over our conversation.

  I placed my hand out and felt a drop of rain fall on my palm. “I felt a raindrop,” I said. Last time I was up here, it was hot, unlike the chilly weather today. I zipped up my light jacket and put the hood over my head as the cool breeze brushed against me. “Ummm…,” I said as we all looked at each other, wondering if it would rain. Without hesitation, we got up quickly and cleared the picnic blanket.

  The dark gray clouds were traveling faster, darkening the sky. Ominous clouds gathered in bunches, looking thick and fluffy. It was beautiful, but terrifying, as the cracking of thunder echoed around us.

  “We better get going. Andrew and I have umbrellas with us, so don’t worry,” Austin said to Patty and me. I’m sure our faces looked concerned about getting drenched.

  Andrew and Austin quickly pulled out umbrellas from their backpacks, and with a click of the buttons, they opened up. Andrew placed his arms around Patty, and they headed down the hiking trail. Although I felt uncomfortable sharing the same umbrella with Austin, I really didn’t have a choice, since it started raining harder.

  “You’re very lucky today,” Austin said. His voice was lost to the thunder and rain.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, practically yelling, gluing my eyes on the trail. The path had become muddied and slippery from the rain, and I nearly fell a couple of times.

  “No ugly bugs came out to scare you.”

  “It’s a good thing because I would be the first one down, all drenched,” I answered, watching in revulsion as my black-and-white tennis shoes were being splattered by Austin’s steps.

  “What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked.

  “What? I can’t hear you,” I lied. The thunder cracked just as he had asked his question, and it was a good excuse to pretend that I didn’t hear. I didn’t know how to turn him down without hurting his feelings.

  We were at the end of the trail when he stopped and spoke again, “It looks like someone is on your mind.”

  Still standing underneath the umbrella, my face flushed from walking, I felt hot all over from embarrassment. Was it that obvious? “What do you mean?” I tried to sound casual.

  “You know what I mean. Anyway, don’t say anything. Just listen.” He lifted my chin up so I was forced to look him in the eyes. “What I want to say is that he is extremely lucky to even be in the same room with you. I’m the unlucky one who found you a little too late.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I was stunned that he had such strong feelings for me.

  “So if you need a friend to talk to, just call. I’d rather have you as a friend than not have you in my life at all.” He chuckled. “I guess I’m Orion and you are Merope, the one who wouldn’t love him back.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know if he wanted me to respond. As I was
trying to think of something to say, he gave me a peck on the cheek and guided me quickly inside Patty’s car.

  “Follow behind us!” Andrew shouted through the open window from his car, as the rain showered his face.

  As we headed slowly down the curvy road, I noticed Patty glancing my way several times before she spoke. “What was that all about?” she asked cautiously.

  “Nothing,” I said carefully. She understood that I didn’t want to talk about it.

  “Are you all right, Claudia?” she asked.

  “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

  Patty and I hardly exchanged any words as I continued to stare out the window. The thunder continued to roar with anger while the drops of rain pounded the ground. I smiled secretly, thinking of what Davin had said to me when we first met. When I had shed my tears in front of him, he wiped them and said he didn’t want anyone down here to think it was sprinkling. As we continued to follow behind Andrew’s car, we parted ways when we took a different highway.

  “Did you have fun?” Patty broke the silence.

  “I had a wonderful time. Thanks for bringing me up there.”

  “Wasn’t the view magnificent?” Patty asked with excitement.

  “Yes, it was,” I said matter-of-factly.

  “Wasn’t it nice of Austin to pack us our lunch?” Patty continued with her questions.

  “Yes, it was,” I said.

  “Wasn’t it nice that you enjoyed Austin’s company?” Patty asked quickly.

  “Yes, it…” I stopped and rethought what Patty had just said. “You tricked me,” I said and raised a brow.

  She laughed. “Just checking to see if you’re really listening,” she said. “I know you want to deny it, but subconsciously you like his attention.”

  “What?” I said.

  “I just don’t get you. You have this well-educated, well-mannered hunk who practically throws rose petals for you to walk on, and you’re not even remotely interested.”

  “He’s not my type,” I said softly, shrugging my shoulders. It was all I could say. “I’m just waiting for…”

  She didn’t let me finish. “Mr. Right, Mr. Perfect, Mr. Prince. There is no such thing, honey. There is no Mr. Angel out there, but if you want my opinion…” she paused and looked at me to see if I would stop her from speaking her peace. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I think Austin is good for you. And I’m only saying this because I love you like a sister, and I don’t want to see you go out with another guy like Ryan.”

  I knew she was right. I just didn’t realize it until recently. With Ryan, everything revolved around him; but with Austin, everything seemed to revolve around me. Perhaps if I wasn’t in love with Michael, there could be something there for Austin. But it didn’t matter because my heart belonged to someone else, and he was Mr. Perfect in every way. And he was an angel, all right. I just couldn’t tell her.

  After our conversation, all was quiet in the car except for the soft music. It was a difficult drive in the heavy rain, so Patty hardly spoke a word. Even the windshield wipers swishing back and forth on high couldn’t give us a clear view of the road. Instead, it produced a hypnotic effect on me, and I didn’t even notice that we had arrived at Gamma’s house. We sat in the car, watching the rain drench everything around us. Then Patty finally spoke.

  “I would go inside with you and hang out, but I’m exhausted.” She looked at me worriedly. “I’m so sorry. You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”

  “For what?” I asked, surprised by her words.

  “Because it seemed like a double date. I honestly didn’t plan it that way. I promise,” she said, desperately wanting me to believe her.

  “Patty, don’t be silly. It’s fine. I already told you. I believe you.”

  “Okay,” she said, placing her hand on my shoulder. “Get some sleep then. I’ll text you later.” She gave me a long hug, and spoke solemnly, “I’ll see you in a couple of days at Gamma’s funeral. I’ll be right there beside you.” Then she squeezed my hand and looked at me with teary eyes. “You’ve been through a lot. I wish I could make the pain disappear. I know you miss her.”

  She was right. I had been through a lot; she had no idea to what extreme. I tried so hard to hold back the tears, but one found its way down my cheek after Patty’s thoughtful words. “Thanks for everything. I’ll text you later. Drive carefully,” I said. I had to get out of the car. I knew if Patty or I said anything else, I would completely fall apart. After I got out of the car, she drove out of sight, and I got in my car and headed home.

  Chapter 25

  I was at the waterfall where Michael and I had been. Michael was standing at a distance, smiling. My heart raced excitedly. He came closer, and held me in his arms. He whispered my name, “Claudia.” He kissed me tenderly, wrapping his wings around me. My dream couldn’t have been any better.

  Suddenly, the waterfall was pouring, making sounds like thunder. The peaceful water that surrounded us, falling gently, was now increasingly forming big waves. The boulders we were standing on started shaking and shifting, leaving gaps between them. It felt like an earthquake. Next thing I knew, I was pulled in by a rush of water. Michael and I had separated, and I couldn’t see him anymore. I was shivering from the icy cold water that pierced through my body. It was difficult to swim. Trying to find a way out, I managed to grab onto what looked like roots protruding from a tree. As I struggled to hold on, I heard a voice.

  “Claudia!”

  I looked up to see Austin standing above me, reaching out for me. “Grab my hand. I’ll help you.”

  He leaned in further. I was just about to give him my hand when he spoke again, “You don’t belong with him.”

  I flashed my eyes at him angrily. Why did he say that? What did he mean by that? And why was he in my dream? “No!” I said, full of rage. I pushed the water with my hand to move away from him, accidently splashing water on his face.

  “Kinda late for a water fight, don’t you think?” he asked, wiping the water off his face with his sleeves.

  “What are you doing here?” I yelled, as I was beyond irritated.

  “That’s a nice way to say hello to a friend who wants to help,” Austin said calmly. “Let me help you. You’re just barely hanging on.”

  He was right. I felt the roots start to detach from the strain of my weight and the powerful water pushing me forward. I changed my tone. “How did you find me?”

  He didn’t have a chance to reply. Our conversation was interrupted by Michael calling my name. “Claudia!”

  “Where are you?” I yelled. I turned my back to Austin and looked for Michael in every direction. “Michael,” I called, panicking. But all I heard were the echoes of my own voice.

  “He can’t find you,” Austin said. “I can’t help you if you don’t want it.”

  I felt relieved when I saw a reflection on the water of what appeared to be wings expanding; Michael must be standing behind Austin.

  “What do you mean he can’t find me?” I turned to face Austin. But Austin was gone and Michael was nowhere to be seen. There was no one here but me. I was lost, alone.

  I woke up with an uneasy feeling. Was Michael in danger? Why was Austin in my dream saying Michael couldn’t find me? As I lay on my bed trying to analyze my dream, I was startled by my alarm clock going off. After I turned it off, I lay back down, and cuddled with Michael’s shirt.

  I didn’t want to get up and face reality. It had been twice in just over a month that I had lost loved ones; first my friend, Claudia, and now Gamma. Remembering how difficult it was to say good-bye to Claudia, I didn’t want to do it again. After I tucked Michael’s shirt underneath the blanket, I slowly dragged myself out of bed. I started to reluctantly head toward the closet, but instead, I found myself walking in the direction of the window.

  As I opened the blinds, I quickly looked away. Squinting and blinking from the brightness, my eyes finally adjusted to the light. The luminous rays from the sun spread war
mth all over my body. I just stood there and closed my eyes, as if to melt the pain away; if only it were that simple. It had rained the past two days, and I was relieved to see the sun. I was glad that we didn’t have to bury Gamma in the rain. It was a beautiful day, despite today’s event. The funeral was already depressing enough, but I could imagine it being a hundred times worse in the rain.

  After I changed my clothes and got ready, I sat on the edge of my bed, staring out the window. It felt good to just sit there and feel nothing. I didn’t want to think about “what ifs” because there was nothing I could do to change anything that had happened. Gamma said everything had a purpose and a reason, and everything fell in its place at the right time. I only wished that some things that fell in place were different.

  It had been days since I last saw Michael. I was beginning to wonder if I had dreamt him up, but the necklace I wore every day, his T-shirt, and the scar on my chest from Julia were sure signs that he was real.

  Mom interrupted my thoughts when she spoke. “Claudia, you ready, honey?”

  “I’m almost ready,” I said, opening the door to look at her. We both looked dreadful dressed all in black, with pale skin, puffy eyes, and no makeup. We looked like we were burying ourselves. The truth was, I wasn’t ready. I was dreading today, though there was no way out of this. Who said funerals were necessary? Why would you want to witness your loved one being buried underneath the ground? It was like shutting the door permanently, knowing they will never come back. At the same time, I understood why there was a need for a funeral; it was closure for the ones left behind. But at this point; a funeral wasn’t going to ease the pain of losing Gamma.

  I heard my mom’s voice again. “Coming,” I said, as I stepped outside into the bright sun.

  After the funeral mass, we headed to the burial. We were waiting for Father Roy to get situated. As I looked around, I saw many of Gamma’s friends, as well as many unfamiliar faces. I wondered if any of them could be Earth angels. Strangely, I thought I saw Austin by a tree, but when I looked again, he was nowhere to be seen. My mom stood in front of me, while my friends surrounded me. Kristina and Maggie stood to my left; Patty, Andrew, and John were on my right.