Too Young to Marry

by Rosalind Brett

  He let a minute elapse before he said offhandedly, “What did you think about while you were wandering—apart from finding your way out?”

  “Nothing was very clear, but I do know that this house seemed like an unattainable heaven.”

  “You didn’t think about me?”

  “Yes,” she said quietly, “I thought about you.”

  “In what way?”

  She rubbed the pad of her thumb over the silk of her robe, watched the movement. “I’m afraid that chiefly I was anxious to get here before you became annoyed with us for staying away so long. I didn’t feel I could stand any more scenes for a while.”

  The silence lasted longer this time. He ended it with an abrupt, “You must have felt something more. Or was it relief that made you tolerate my touching you?”

  “Only partly relief,” she said in subdued tones. “I do know you always plan what’s best for me—even to this ... this cruise. I’m so sorry I behaved badly last night.”

  He said keenly, “If it was only partly relief, what was the rest of the emotion?”

  She looked at him then, her smile a little nervous. “Do we have to dissect everything like this? I think you were right when you said that we have to cultivate an attitude towards the cruise. It’ll be fun to be engaged—really engaged. I’m sure you’ll feel far less bitter about losing Elise if you get away from her and...”

  “God in heaven!” He started forward in his chair, stared into her face. “That again? Where did the half-baked idea originate? I’m not losing Elise, because I’ve never had her—or wanted her. I’ll admit I hoped you’d become a trifle jealous of her—it would have given me hope—but I’ve no feeling for Elise. Not a speck!”

  “No?” she said, bewildered and a bit fluttery. “Then what was it all about? Mrs. Astley said...”

  “Please,” he exclaimed. “Not Mrs. Astley as well. Still we might as well have it, and get it over. What did Mrs. Astley tell you?”

  With an unaccountable excitement tingling her nerves, Lorna said carefully, “It seemed to begin with the Governor’s wish that you should marry Kyrle Reynor. It was well known that you didn’t like Kyrle very much, and Mrs. Astley implied that you’d engaged Bill and more or less arranged for Elise to live away from him on Main Island, so that when you went over there...”

  “I can’t believe this,” he broke in. “As if it wasn’t grim enough, starting out the way we did. And Mrs. Astley must be even more warped than I thought. Listen to me, Lorna.” He came right forward, took her hands between his and spoke firmly. “There was rather a conspiracy to get me to marry Kyrle. Sir Ronan wanted it and Lady Alys was determined on it. As for Kyrle herself...” his shoulders rose, “no one can be quite sure what she thought because she’s the glacial type, but quite apart from any other considerations she could never have moved me. I can’t endure inhuman women; I wouldn’t be able to stand Lady Alys if she weren’t old and rather wise. I’ll admit it was getting sticky, one way and another, but I could have handled it without assistance. I can be pretty hard when it comes to something that doesn’t touch me at all.”

  “How I know it,” she murmured.

  “What you haven’t understood,” he said with a sharp smile, “is that any hardness I’ve shown towards you was necessary, as well as a sort of self-defence because of your youth. However, we were talking about Kyrle Reynor. They were pairing me off with her on every occasion, and they even found excuse to send her here. She’d bring flowers—nearly always gardenias and gladioli—and I shouldn’t be surprised if that was why I ordered frangipani for you when we were married."

  “I don’t remember hearing about Kyrle when I came here with my father.”

  “You only met the staff here and they wouldn’t be likely to gossip with my house-guests. That was how you missed learning that I’m related to the Governor. Anyway, when Elise arrived on Main Island she told me the story of her marriage break-up. I’m afraid I used her a little—introduced her into the Residency as a close friend I’d known before she married. Elise wasn’t the type to misconstrue the stratagem, and I was able to repay her later, by inviting her over here so that she could be near Bill. Lady Alys, of course, wasn’t so keen on having someone at the Residency who might eventually be divorced, so it was arranged that Elise should take over a house. I only saw her occasionally, but it was enough to drop a fly in the amber, for which I was grateful. Then, very suddenly, everything changed. I received your cable about your father’s death, and to me you were far more important than the whole Garfield family—in fact, than the rest of the world. You believe that, don’t you?”

  “I didn’t, but ... but I want to.”

  “It’s true,” he said tersely. “The hell of it was you were so darned young!”

  “But I’m not so young as you think,” she said pleadingly. “You remember my telling you I had a sort of ... crush on you?”

  “I remember,” he said with irony. “And I remember the sinking feeling it gave me. Crushes in young people wear off, and I needed something far more adult and lasting. It’s not your fault, honey. Now that we’ve at last decided to be absolutely open with each other we’ll get over this spot of bother.”

  “It’s such a long time since you last called me honey.”

  “Is it? I suppose it’s difficult to think in endearments when you’re burning up with—I hate to think it was jealousy, but it must have been. I’d hardly forced myself to get used to the idea that you and Colin were bound to be matey when there was that business of Armand Chauvet!”

  “Oh, Monsieur Chauvet,” she said soberly, looking down once more. “I started to tidy up the spare room and found his wedding gift.”

  “You did? I don’t even know what was in the box.” He stopped suddenly, and asked with a queer, searching inflection, “Did you read his note?”

  She nodded. “I thought it was rather sweet.”

  He let go of her hands and stood up. “It was the note that made me shove the box out of the way,” he said, pushing his hands into his pockets. “It’s natural that everyone else should take certain things for granted, but too much of it gets you, Human nature being what it is, we should never have started our marriage the way we did. That’s really the reason I decided on the cruise.” He gazed down at her, his blue eyes dark and brooding. “Lorna, I’m going to be shatteringly frank with you. These weeks I’m planning for us to have together must work the miracle. We can’t go on living here as we are now.” His voice deepened. “I’ve discovered that I love you too much to carry on in this way. Possibly it’s not the sort of love you’ll understand yet, but you have to believe in it.”

  Startled hazel eyes shone up at him. “I don’t care what sort of love it is—I just want every scrap you have to spare, that’s all! You don’t know how much I’ve ached for you to ... to make love to me as a fiancé would. It was the big thing that was missing!”

  “But I’m not your fiancé,” he said roughly. “The engagement was sales talk with which I persuaded you to marry me. You’re my wife. My wife.”

  Her skin burned, then went cold. She still stared up at him, lips parted, and at last she found the strength to put her hands on the arms of the chair and pushed herself to her feet. They were facing each other, only six inches apart; blue glance held the hazel one with ruthless intensity. Then she smiled, tremulously, and was in his arms. It was the most painful and ecstatic moment in Lorna’s life.

  He kissed her with a passion she was unable to match, pressed his lips to her neck and then kissed her mouth more gently.

  “So you see,” he said eventually, not too steadily, “we can’t go on living together and pretending to be engaged. It’s not enough. The cruise has to be a honeymoon.”

  She pressed her hot cheek to his and said in small fervent tones, “Yes, please, Paul ... a honeymoon.”

  It was quite some time later that he laughed tenderly and released her. But his eyes were flashing as he wheeled the trolley closer to the table and began
to unload it.

  “I believe you come pretty near to being in love with me,” he said.

  “So do I,” she murmured dreamily.”

  “Are you still afraid of Lady Alys?”

  “Bother Lady Alys.”

  “That’s the spirit. How about Mrs. Astley?”

  “I feel sorry for her. Can’t you put Mr. Astley into Bill’s position when Bill goes to the new plantation?”

  “I’m not sure. But there’s something we can do for his wife. The superintendents aren’t normally received at the Residency, but I’ll get the Governor to make an exception in the Astleys’ case. Mrs. Astley will perk up no end when she has to live up to such connections!”

  “That’s a marvellous idea!”

  “I’m in a mood to be full of them.”

  “Paul...” she hesitated, “you were more or less forced to marry me, weren’t you?”

  “Not at all. I might not have married you so soon, but it would have happened. Even while you were away with your father I was trying to imagine some sort of position he might like, to keep you both on Panai.”

  “I’d love to believe that!”

  “You may—it’s true.”

  “You’re sure there was no pity?”

  “My dear girl,” he said, bending to kiss the tip of her nose, “I didn’t have to marry you. There were others alternatives that you knew nothing about. For instance, I could have arranged for you to live with Elise Ramsay in the bungalow on Main Island. But I wanted you closer than that—so close, in fact, that you wouldn’t be lured by someone like Colin or the damnable Chauvet. I knew that even though you were unawakened in love you were loyal.” He sighed. “But it was too tantalizing altogether to have you so near yet be unable to make love to you. I knew you wanted kisses, but I also knew that I wouldn’t be able to make love to you as if we weren’t married; you need to live apart for that. The few times I tried a more intimate approach you went stiff with fright.”

  “It wasn’t fright,” she whispered. “Only nerves. I’d have got over it. I think I have got over it.”

  “Thank God,” he said feelingly. “I don’t know how I’d have stood these weeks if I hadn’t had a certain amount of faith in your ultimate good sense.”

  “Yet you suspected me with Armand Chauvet.”

  “Well, wouldn’t any man get hot if he saw the wife he couldn’t have basking in the admiration of someone else! I occasionally had the black feeling that you might forget your principles and run out on me. That was why I kept you short of ready money. See what you’ve made of me?” Het let out a long breath. “Let’s forget it. Hungry?”

  “I think I am,” she said in surprise, and gave him her hands.

  His fingers slipped up her arms and held her shoulders. He said softly, “This is our first meal together as husband and wife.”

  She nodded, thankfully. “You can start moulding me right away, if you like.”

  “You’re perfect as you are. Do you love me?”

  “So much, Paul. So very much!”

  Close to her cheek he said carefully, “And you want me as I want you?”

  “Oh, yes!”

  “You’re sure, my darling?”

  Vitality and awareness flooded into her. She leaned back and looked at the arrogant tilt of his head, at the tender smile on his lips, the brilliance and need in his eyes. And without speaking she convinced him that she had never been so sure of anything in her life.

  THE END