Wrath

by Victoria Christopher Murray

He stopped, and I prayed my words had given him some hope. But all he said was, “So you have all the answers now?”

  “No, but what I have is a never-ending love for you. I want to help because this should never have happened.”

  “You’re damn straight.”

  I swallowed. “So then let’s figure this out. Let’s sit down, make a plan, then on Monday, I can help you do some research, maybe even make some calls. Whatever we need to do.”

  He scowled. “What is this, pity?”

  I shook my head, praying my words, my countenance, my demeanor would calm him. “Not at all.”

  “I’m so pitiful that I need your help?” he said as if he didn’t, maybe even couldn’t, hear me. “You think the partners were right about their decision?”

  That was when I knew there was nothing I could say. Not tonight. I grabbed my coat from the sofa.

  “Where are you going?” he growled.

  “I think it’s best if I give you some time.” I took a step toward the door. “So I’m going to go out.” Another step. “And I’ll be back in a little while.”

  His eyes were full of fire when he shook his head. “You’re not leaving me.”

  “Xavier,” I said, feeling the beginning of tremors in my voice. “I’m not leaving you. I’ll be right back.”

  “You’re not leaving!” he screamed.

  His chest heaved, and I knew no matter what he said, I had to get out of this condo. But I said, “All right.”

  He paced in front of me, blocking my path. And then he paused. “Go in the bedroom.”

  “What?”

  He moved toward me, and I rounded the coffee table just as my cell vibrated again. But there was no time to pick it up. I dashed toward the door, but my gown slowed me down. If I could just get the door unlocked, just get into the hallway…

  The lock clicked, the door opened, but then Xavier grabbed my hair, yanking me back over the threshold, tossing me to the floor.

  “Stop,” I screamed. “Xavier, stop!”

  “You’re not leaving me again.” He dragged me, and I tried to fight. But he was behind me, so I was kicking and screaming at air.

  “You’re not leaving me again.” He lugged me across the carpet, dumping me in front of the sofa. I could hardly breathe, though I pushed myself up. And looked into the contorted face of a man I’d never seen.

  Fear was the reason I ran, but I only got as far as one step when his backhand slap sent me flying across the room. I tasted blood before I landed headfirst in front of the window. All of my energy, all of my fight, had been knocked out of me. But my fear remained, which was why I crawled from where I’d fallen.

  “You’re not leaving me again.”

  The tip of his shoe punched my stomach, and I screamed in agony. “Please, no.” Another kick, and my thoughts turned to death. Xavier was going to kill me. But why? How had his love for me twisted to this?

  The third kick knocked the fear out of me, and without fear, there was no reason to run. So I just lay there, curled up, wishing I knew the right words to speak to stop Xavier, wondering if this was truly the end.

  It was interesting what flashed through my mind as I was beaten by this broken man: the night we met, the night we’d made love, the night we exchanged vows while kneeling bare before each other.

  And then my thoughts made a quick turn to my mom and dad, and now I felt the pain of Xavier’s assault beyond my flesh. First he would kill me, and then the news of this would do the same to my parents.

  I love you, Mom. I love you, Papa, I thought between my cries. That became the mantra that I hoped would lull me into the afterlife.

  “Chastity!”

  Still I cried, but now I smiled at the sound of my mother’s voice. She’d come to me so I could say good-bye.

  But then… “Get away from her.” It was my mother’s voice—no, it was my mother screaming.

  My mind… I was losing it… Was my mom here or was I there? I fought to open my eyes, but my lids were sealed. I tried to part my lips, to cry out, to move, to do something. But there was nothing.

  And then… two pops. Or were they shots? I screamed and struggled to get to my mother. But no matter what, my eyes wouldn’t open, my lips wouldn’t move, my body wouldn’t stir. I was helpless as I spun into the black.

  43 Chastity

  The black became gray and now I was surrounded by a thousand voices shouting. But still my eyelids wouldn’t part. I cried out for my mother, but my voice stayed inside. And then the sounds quieted, and now I heard nothing, saw nothing, felt only serenity as the black returned.

  Until… the light. Thousands of watts above me, blinding me, even as I struggled to open my eyes.

  “Chastity.”

  The voice was deep, but not the way I imagined God.

  “Can you hear me?”

  I blinked. This was definitely not God. The light above me dimmed some, and the face came into focus.

  “Kelvin?” I croaked.

  He nodded.

  “Where…” That was all that would squeak past what felt like sandpaper in my throat.

  “You’re at Harlem Hospital, but you’re going to be fine.”

  Then, “Chaz!” Melanie cried out. “Thank God.”

  “What…” I squirmed, trying to push myself up.

  “I need you to chill, Chaz,” Kelvin said. “We still have to do some tests.” Then he turned away from me. “Mel, I’m going to check on the X-rays. Stay with her.”

  “Of course. I’m not going anywhere.” She grabbed my hand, and it felt as if she held me with a vise grip. I yelped. “Sorry,” she said before releasing me.

  Kelvin said, “She’s hurting everywhere, Mel.” Then, to me, he repeated, “You’re going to be fine, Chastity,” as if he thought I needed to hear that again. “I’ll be right back.”

  My eyes followed him until he disappeared, and then I turned to Melanie. “What… happened?”

  “You don’t remember?”

  I tried to shake my head, though I didn’t really move. Instead, I squeezed my eyes shut and images filled my mind: Xavier raging, grabbing me, tossing me, kicking me. It all made me groan again.

  “What’s wrong?” Melanie asked. “Do you want me to call another doctor until Kelvin gets back?”

  This time I was able to move my head from side to side. Every part of my body ached, but the pictures in my mind were what caused this pain. Then I remembered the sounds, and now I had another question. “Where’s… my… mom?”

  “She’s fine, Chaz,” Melanie said as she sat on the edge of the narrow bed. “She had to go to the police station—”

  “What?”

  “But your dad is with her.”

  Those words were like adrenaline, pushing me up. I winced through the pain, but I had to get answers to questions I didn’t even know. But my mother was in trouble, and what I knew was that it was because of me.

  “Chaz!”

  I had to take an extra breath before I swung my legs over the edge. My feet were bare, but I was still in my gown.

  “Hey!” Kelvin said as he stepped into the curtained area. “What’re you doing?”

  “I have to go.” I grimaced through my words. “My mom. She’s with the police.”

  Kelvin glanced at Melanie, and she shrugged. “She asked.”

  “Chastity.” His tone was filled with admonishment. “You’re not going anywhere.” His nudge against my shoulder was gentle yet firm, just like his tone. “Not for a couple of hours.”

  “I thought you said I was fine,” I said as I lay back.

  “We need to do some X-rays, and then I’ll know for sure.”

  “I have to get to my mom.”

  “Your mother is fine,” he said, and once again he passed a look to Melanie that let me know he wasn’t pleased. “My job is to make sure you are, too.” He glanced at his wife before he said to me, “I’ll be right back, but can you please just stay put? I don’t want to have to admit you,” as if that
was a threat.

  I leaned back, but it wasn’t just because I was told to. My legs were so sore; I wasn’t even sure I could walk.

  Kelvin nodded, then said to Melanie, “I’ll only be gone for a few minutes.” He lowered his voice, but I still heard him say, “Please don’t say anything else to her.”

  Melanie folded her arms, and then when he left us alone, she returned to the edge of the bed. We sat in silence for a few moments as more images filled my mind: Xavier kicking, my mother screaming… and then the sound of pops through the air.

  The memory of the sounds made me blink, made me ask, “What happened to my mother?” When she was silent, I added, “Please tell me she’s all right.”

  “She’s fine, Chaz. She really is.”

  I nodded, swallowed, and said, “She shot Xavier?”

  “Do you remember?”

  I shook my head. “All I know is that Xavier was… beating me and then I heard my mother… and…” I stopped.

  “She was trying to save you. I knew you were in trouble when you didn’t answer your phone, so Kelvin called the police, and I called your dad.” This time she was gentle when she held my hand, and the pain didn’t sear all the way through my body. “Your dad didn’t answer, but your mom did, and I told her what had been going on. Chaz”—she paused, then swallowed as if she were pushing her emotions down—“I was so scared. And your mom was, too.”

  I closed my eyes once again. “And she shot Xavier,” I repeated. It took a few moments and everything within me to ask, “Is Xavier dead?” although I already knew the answer. I could feel it. The man I knew, the one I loved, was gone.

  “No.”

  My eyes snapped open.

  She said, “He’s here—he’s hurt, but I don’t know how badly.”

  This time, the agony that filled me had nothing to do with the pain that throbbed through my bones. This time, it was because my mother was with the police and my husband… I didn’t even know. And it was all because of me.

  * * *

  FOR THE LAST hours, my mind had been whirling, swirling with thoughts of my mom… and Xavier, though I didn’t know why I thought about him. He’d done more than lay hands on me—he’d beaten me as if he’d never loved me.

  I hated to admit it, but I still cared. I cared enough not to want him to die.

  As a nurse came in and helped me undress and change into a hospital gown, my thoughts still volleyed. Through my examination, I thought about my mom. Through my X-rays, it was all about Xavier. All I could do was wonder and cry and pray for both of them.

  By the time I was rolled back into the emergency room, where Melanie still waited for me, the night had bowed to the day. All of those hours had passed, and I still knew nothing.

  Kelvin followed right behind before I could question Melanie some more. When he told me, “You don’t have any broken bones or any other injuries,” it was hard to keep my focus on his words.

  He said, “You’re fine, but for a few days, you’ll feel like you’ve been in the ring with a professional boxer,” and all I could say was:

  “I need to speak to my mother.”

  “Okay, you will. I’m trying to get you out of here,” he said before he continued with, “You’ve been bruised pretty badly.”

  “Do you know what’s going on with Xavier?”

  Kelvin sighed. “As soon as I finish with you, I’ll check on him.”

  I nodded, then shifted and squirmed through the rest of his instructions about prescriptions and medications, but my mind was far away from this emergency room.

  But then a few of Kelvin’s words broke through: “You will heal.”

  My head jerked back. Heal—I guessed it was a matter of perspective.

  “So why did she faint?” Melanie asked her husband as if she were my mother.

  There had to be some medical law being broken with Melanie standing in this room while my doctor was speaking to me. But since these were my best friends, I turned to Kelvin to hear his explanation.

  “Fainting itself is not usually serious. It depends on the reason, and in this case, your fainting,” he said to me as if I’d asked the question, “was a reaction to an emotional trigger. Your body shut down to protect you. But there’s nothing to worry about. Now, I do want you to call me—”

  Before he could finish, Melanie’s cell phone chirped. “Oh!” she exclaimed when she glanced down at the screen. When she answered, “Pastor,” I knew she was talking to my father, and my heart skipped. “How’s Mom Sisley?”

  I reached for the phone, but it took a moment for Melanie to exhale with a smile and then hand her cell to me.

  “Papa! How’s Mom?”

  “Princess, she’s fine, but we want to know, how are you?”

  It was just a question, but I guessed it was one of those emotional triggers that Kelvin just mentioned. This time, I didn’t faint, I just cried.

  “Princess, what’s wrong? I spoke to Kelvin earlier and he said you’d be fine.”

  I should have known—more medical laws broken, but rules didn’t matter among family. “I’m fine, Papa. Kelvin’s taking care of me. It’s just that I’m so sorry.”

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” my father said. “You didn’t cause this.”

  “But I was the one… Xavier came into our lives because of me.”

  “We’re not going to talk about any of that right now. I’m just grateful to my God that you are all right. Will you be leaving soon?”

  “Yes, Kelvin is getting ready to release me. Can I speak to her?”

  “We just got home, and she’s resting now, princess. But Melanie is going to bring you here, so we’ll be under the same roof.”

  Melanie nodded when I glanced at her, and I guessed there had been a whole lot of talking going on around me.

  “Okay,” I said to my father, glad that I didn’t have to make any decisions. I said, “I love you,” before I handed the phone back to Melanie.

  “So,” Kelvin said, “do you have any other questions?”

  “Can you find out what’s going on with Xavier?”

  His smile was sorrowful as he nodded. “Okay, I’ll be right back. You can get dressed.”

  When he disappeared behind the curtain, Melanie held up my evening gown, and for a moment, I had to pause. More than time had passed since I’d put that dress on last night. Love had passed away.

  We stayed silent as Melanie helped me to step into the dress. My body ached with every movement, but minutes later, I eased back up on the bed, waiting for Kelvin to return. The longer he took, the more my heart pounded. What would the news be about Xavier?

  Finally, I broke our silence. “Are you mad that I want to know about Xavier?” I asked Melanie.

  She shook her head right away. “Not at all. I understand.”

  “Do you?” I looked down at my wedding band, topped by the most gorgeous engagement ring. “Because I don’t understand.”

  With her fingertips, she lifted my chin. “He’s your husband. You loved him. There’s nothing wrong with you wanting to know how he is.”

  When the curtain parted, I held my breath. “Chastity,” Kelvin said as he stepped in with a woman following behind him. “This is Donna Scott. She’s one of the hospital’s finance specialists.”

  I frowned. “If this is about my insurance, I’ll give you my information, but first”—I turned to Kelvin, a bit annoyed that I had to handle this now—“what about—”

  The woman said, “Actually, I had some questions about your husband, Xavier King.”

  My head snapped back to her. “Is he all right?”

  Kelvin said, “He just got out of surgery.”

  “Surgery?” I gasped. That meant he was alive, but still, that word filled me with fear—for Xavier… and for my mother.

  “I don’t know anything more than that,” Kelvin said, “but I can find out for you.”

  “I want to see him.”

  Melanie and Kelvin exchanged a
glance, but I shook my head. They were not going to shut me down. “I just want to see him, that’s all.” Then to Ms. Scott, I said, “Can I give you what you need after that?”

  “Of course, I’ll be in my office, but we’ll need the information.”

  “Thank you.” Then, to Kelvin, I said, “Please, take me to my husband.”

  44 Chastity

  The sun’s light beamed through the window, heating my face the way it did when I’d slept in this room as a child. The sun had been my alarm clock in those days, but since I hadn’t rolled into this bed until after ten this morning, it wasn’t an alarm clock that I needed. I needed something to quiet my mind and my memories. My head was filled with thoughts from last night—the hope that had morphed into horror.

  And then the horror of this morning and Xavier lying as still as a stone, two monitors on the side of his bed with green flashing numbers and red squiggly lines, the beeps, the sign that Xavier’s heart still beat.

  But how long would that continue?

  I closed my eyes and remembered the doctor’s words from early this morning:

  “Mrs. King?”

  Even though I heard my name called, it still took a tap on my shoulder from Melanie for me to turn away from Xavier.

  “I’m Dr. Bell,” he introduced himself. With a gesture of his head, he said, “Would you mind joining me?”

  I studied his face, looking for signs of what he was about to tell me. Finally, with a nod, I followed him into the hallway, where piped-in Muzak filled the air.

  Santa Claus is coming to town…

  Melanie reached for my hand and squeezed it as we passed the waiting room; then the doctor stopped. I hesitated to step inside when I saw the placard on the door—FAMILY ROOM—but I followed him.

  “I’m your husband’s doctor,” he began when Melanie closed the door behind us. He turned his glance to Melanie. “Dr. Meadows,” he began.

  At first, I was surprised that he knew her name, but then I realized he was a doctor who knew another doctor’s wife.

  “I need to speak to Mrs. King alone. You understand—”

  “No.” I held up my hand. “You have permission to speak in front of her. I understand the law, but I really need her here with me.”