Dark Sentinel

by Christine Feehan

  Lorraine cried out, calling his name, and his voice, hoarse with desire, muffled by her shoulder, answered with her name. He tightened his arms around her, holding her safe while their carousel horse circled back to find its way home. She sighed contentedly and pressed back against him. He could feel the air moving once again, in and out of her lungs. Her heartbeat began to settle back to normal.

  “I am so in love with you, Andor.” She stared up at the stars. “I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and find you aren’t at all real, that I’ve been living in my own dream so I wouldn’t have to wake up and face the reality of my family’s death. Is that possible? That you aren’t real? That none of this is?”

  He caught the little hidden sob in her voice. He bent his head and found the junction between her shoulder and neck. He bit down. Hard. Hard enough that she yelped. Immediately he let up on the pressure and kissed the spot, licking at it with the healing saliva in his tongue. “You felt that. Would it hurt if this was a dream?”

  That wasn’t the underlying problem, and he knew it. She felt guilty, afraid she shouldn’t be happy when she’d lost the people she loved so much. That was something Andor had often wondered about. His family had died around the same time his emotions had faded. Had that been part of his acceptance of the loss? He couldn’t feel that mind-numbing emotion of grief? He didn’t have that answer. Only he did know that just being happy didn’t say anything about forgetting those one loved.

  “Sívamet. We take happiness when and where we can get it. One has nothing to do with the other. You know that. Intellectually, you know that is the truth. One can still be grieving and yet have a moment of shared laughter or passion. There is no guilt in living when you have lost so much. You live for them. You make your life count. You live to keep their memory alive. You live for yourself. It’s all wrapped up together. We are part of the universe and it is vast. We are small, insignificant in the tapestry, yet we are there. A part of something larger. One false pull of that thread and everything could unravel.”

  She leaned her weight into him, a smile in her voice. “Sometimes you say things that are so profound, and yet I have no idea what you’re really talking about.”

  “Oftentimes, neither do I, but it made the brethren think I was very important.”

  She laughed. “I can imagine. Are you going to teach me the song sung about you around the ancient campfires?”

  “No. The only reason to sing that song is to drive Dragomir to distraction.” His hands settled around her waist. He hated to be out of her, but they were getting close to home and he wanted to clean and clothe them. He lifted her, cleansing both of them so they felt refreshed. He added clothes, so when they were once more on the carousel platform, they would look presentable.

  “Dragomir deserves a song. Why doesn’t he have one?”

  “He probably does. Or did. They are from ancient times, csecsemõ, easily forgotten as the older ones of our species die out.”

  “That’s sad.”

  “It’s life. The younger generations don’t want to hang on to the old ways because they feel their ways are so much better. Singing songs around a campfire is boring to the younger generation. We have young children already learning technology. That is a good thing, but to have them do both, the singing and learning from their elders as well as embracing new technology, that would be the best of both worlds. That is what we will be teaching our children.”

  “If you’re expecting an argument, you aren’t going to get one,” she said.

  He detested covering up her body, but he had done so. The ride back to the carousel was nice—he still held her close, his body protectively wrapped around hers, but he wasn’t in her, where he felt he belonged.

  The horse slipped back onto the platform and the music immediately began to wind down. They sat for a moment before Andor slipped off and then gently lifted her to the wooden platform. She clutched at him, staring up at his face, and he could see the stars in her eyes.

  “Thank you, that was wonderful.”

  It was impossible to miss the sincerity in her voice. He kissed her gently. “I loved it, too.” He looked around him. “I think we have an audience.”

  She looked up to see a child watching them. Amelia stood next to the little girl, one arm around her. Both looked at them with speculative too-old eyes. She flashed them a smile and then looked beyond them as a shadow passed overhead. “Andor?” There was no disguising the shakiness in her voice, or the trembling in her body.

  “I see it, csecsemõ. You just walk down to the yard and meet Liv. Clearly, they’ve been waiting. Make certain Emeline is out of sight. If not, warn her.”

  Lorraine nodded, not panicking. He knew she wouldn’t. She wasn’t the type of woman to panic. She glanced at the crows gathering around the fences. “There are so many of them. I’ve always liked ravens and crows. I thought they were smart, and when the sun shines on their feathers, they’re beautiful, although a bit too large.”

  “Sergey has taken them over. The birds are not bad, just what a master vampire is forcing them to do for him.”

  “Well, they do look sinister gathered together like that,” she pointed out. “It’s just like a very scary movie. I’ve never seen so many of them in one place before.”

  He caught her chin and kept her looking at him. “Sergey cannot get past the safeguards. He can have his crows follow every move we make and he still cannot touch us.”

  “Those poor children, though, Andor. What a way to live their lives. It has to take a toll on them.”

  “They were street kids. They have a good home, clothes, food and a lake to swim in when it’s hot. They have dragons to fly and a playground to play in. They have carousels with horses and other animals, and those carousels will do all sorts of fun things. More importantly, they are loved.”

  She pressed her forehead to his shoulder. “I suppose you’re right. It just feels to me as if there must be a way to free those crows from Sergey’s hold. They would be free, and so would all of us.”

  “Even if you can’t see his spies, Lorraine, they are there. Always, there are eyes on this place. It is better for us if we see them.”

  She shook her head. “I disagree entirely. You will get used to them being there. The children will get used to them. Soon, no one will pay that much attention. If you can’t see an enemy, but you know he’s close, you’re going to keep looking, and that makes you all the more aware.”

  Andor blinked. His woman could be right. “I am not arguing with that. You could very well be right, although I hope not. I know Sergey is determined to make his stand against us. Now, knowing for certain his brother still lives, the only thing I can think to do is plant a spy among his followers. We tried to do such a thing in South America. It is not an easy task.”

  She gave a delicate shudder. “I can’t imagine what that person would have to go through.”

  “They have parasites in their blood. Their blood is very much like acid. Destiny, a child who was turned by a vampire, endured their blood for a long time, although it wasn’t quite as caustic as it is now. Emeline is the only other person who went a very long time with vampire blood eating away at her. It was difficult for her to even think with the presence of the blood in her veins. Still, it can be done. It just is very . . . uncomfortable.”

  They stepped off the carousel platform and started across the yard toward Amelia and Liv. The two girls were leaning against a large brown stone dragon. Liv had her arm around its neck.

  “She is a child, but already her lifemate is aware of her,” Andor explained. “Val Zhestokly joined our brethren centuries ago. He wears the tattoo on his skin declaring to the world that he lives for her. He was taken prisoner by Vadim almost immediately after he left the brethren. He was tortured and bears the scars. Young Liv was given to puppets and used to feed vampires. Vadim tried to force Val to join them by first starv
ing him and then offering Liv to him to kill. Instead, he gave her a blood exchange to make her stronger, allowing her to live until rescue came. At that time, although she was barely starting puberty, which is when a lifemate can find another lifemate, he was able to tell that Liv was his. He guards her closely.”

  “You said it was difficult for a lifemate when they know but can’t do anything about it.”

  He nodded. “It is a torment like no other. Val can see in color, although not bright colors. Liv recently turned eleven. It will be a couple more years before colors brighten for Val. His emotions are there, but not like you experience them. I think it is just enough to feel guilt that he cannot feel more.”

  They spent time with the two girls, both getting to know them. Andor had been there for a few weeks, but he hadn’t talked much to either girl. He found them intelligent and quick, but truthfully, he could feel the terrible weight of darkness pressing on Amelia’s shoulders. He knew Lorraine felt it, too. She looked to him as if he could ease her burden. He shook his head in regret. There were things even a Carpathian couldn’t undo.

  * * *

  The healing grounds were huge and cool beneath the house. The black soil, filled with sparkling minerals, stretched out the full length of the house. Low cement walls ringed the grounds, holding the large posts that set the foundation for the building. Just beyond the cement were wooden boards cleverly joined to make up the walls beneath the basement, yet every so many support beams held cracks to allow moonlight in.

  Above the grounds were raised balconies that circled the dark, rich soil, so that the Carpathian people could gather and watch the proceedings below and join in when needed with chants for healing. It was a perfect platform for them when another human woman or child was being converted.

  Andor kept Lorraine’s hand tight in his as they took up a position in the middle of the healing grounds. He spotted his brethren, all but Ferro, scattered among those present. Val was there, and with him, Gary. He was grateful to see the healer in their midst, just in case. He hadn’t heard of even one ceremony going bad, but he didn’t want to take any chances.

  “I need to remove your clothes, Lorraine,” he said. “I am aware that most humans have a problem with nudity, and I can assure you, I will keep it appearing as if you have clothes at all times. Is that okay with you?”

  “It isn’t that I’m worried about everyone seeing my body,” she said, reluctance in her voice. “But when you remove my clothes, it makes me feel vulnerable. With you, I’m okay with that, but to have others see me that way, makes me feel particularly exposed and helpless.”

  “I will give you my word that they will not see you as naked.”

  Lorraine touched her tongue to her mouth, moistening her lips. His heart clenched hard in his chest. He wanted her to choose. Eventually, he would have to take that choice from her, but not right away.

  She nodded her head slowly. “Tell me what’s going to happen.”

  “I will give you the third blood exchange. Your body will begin the conversion. Sometimes it takes a little longer than others, but once it starts, no one, not even me, can stop it. Not even for you to take a breath. Everyone here will sing the healing chant and bear a part of the pain you would be expected to endure.”

  “Other women have done this without everyone helping, right?”

  He nodded, worried she suddenly wanted to go through it on her own, and he could never agree to that.

  She let her breath out. “Okay. I just wanted to know if all these preparations failed, if I could still do it on my own. If others did, then I can. I just would have to be prepared to be a lot less comfortable than we both counted on.”

  That made sense. He nodded. “You’re being very brave, hän sívamak, and I’m extremely proud of you.”

  She flashed a nervous smile. “I’m not that brave. In fact, I’m questioning my sanity. On the other hand, I am looking forward to being able to do all the cool things you can do.” She lifted her head to search the small grouping of Carpathians for familiar faces. “Is this the extent of our army, because he had more crows than this.”

  “Sadly, yes. We are hunters and are used to relying on ourselves. The good thing is, we are true ancients. In our society, anyone living over five hundred years is considered an ancient, after that we do not necessarily count the years. Time flows until it all becomes the same. We do not measure the years after, but it does not mean we do not improve our fighting skills or build in power as time marches on.”

  “That makes me feel better. Sergey seemed to have a lot of men he could throw away.”

  Andor sighed. “I talked to Tariq specifically about that and like me, he feels we neglected to consider what to do about the human psychic males. Clearly the Malinov brothers had no such problem. They are recruiting them with promises of giving them whatever they want most. They hook them by providing Carpathian blood, which makes them feel stronger and more alive. Eventually they see the donor, such as Val. He was kept in a cage, drained so he was weak, and the men accepted that they were taking his blood and making him weaker.”

  “That’s terrible.”

  “That is not the worst. They are introduced to the making of puppets, and over time, they lose their horror of the puppet tearing at a child’s flesh. They are mostly grateful it is not them being eaten alive. Those who want immortality are promised it, given it, but then sent out to be used as pawns to be slaughtered by one of us when Sergey needs to have numbers.”

  “I feel so bad for them. Everyone has failings, and a master vampire could easily get into their heads. He would find a weakness and exploit it.”

  Andor nodded. “Yes, that is exactly what he would do. Converting a psychic male is difficult and unnecessary until they are mortally wounded on our behalf and we know this is their wish. Ordinarily, they would live out their lives never knowing we existed, and finding true happiness with a woman in their world.”

  “The Malinovs find them through the Morrison Center, don’t they?” Lorraine asked. “They were at my college, which means they could have recruited some of my friends.”

  “It is possible, but we do not know that as of yet. Josef should be here soon. He is in contact with Tariq and monitors all activity on the database used for any human psychic.”

  Once more she lifted her head to look at the gathering Carpathians. Andor was in her mind, reading her thoughts. She had pushed the time so close to sunrise, she was afraid they would all be caught out, yet she still couldn’t quite make herself give Andor the go-ahead. She wanted to be a Carpathian. She wanted to be with him, but she was very reluctant to slide under that soil.

  “You are trembling. If you are not certain, sívamet, there is no need to rush this. You can choose another time.”

  “Everyone is already here.”

  He shrugged. “They will gather rising after rising until you are ready. You are in no way putting them out, nor will you, if you need more time.”

  She turned fully to him, one hand sliding up his chest to tug at the vee of the neckline. The pads of her fingers brushed fire over his skin when she nervously pulled at the material. “I want to do this tonight. It’s just very overwhelming. I didn’t ask Emeline what it’s like to sleep beneath the earth. I had such an opportunity. I could have asked her or Blaze, or even Charlotte, although she’s a little like a queen or something, being royalty and all.”

  Andor couldn’t help laughing. “Charlotte would never think of herself as royalty. Not in a million years. It just wouldn’t happen. She’s very much a part of all of us.”

  “The blood part, which you’d think would sicken me, actually is kind of hot.” Her voice was a whisper, and when she made her confession, it dropped even lower. “If I told any of my college friends that, they’d think I was truly a nut. Sleeping in the ground is worrisome, though. I’m not certain I can get over feeling as if we’re being buried ali
ve. I could take it when you were partially covered in soil, but the thought of your head being buried terrified me. It really did. I hated it.”

  “You should have told me.”

  She shrugged. “I didn’t think the closer I got to this moment, the more I’d think about that. What if I can’t do it?”

  “I will help you. I helped you get water down a few times when you thought you couldn’t because your stomach was too upset. You were unable to eat food and the others helped. Sandu and Gary. Ferro. All three came to your aid.”

  “They did?” She scowled up at the balcony where the Carpathians were murmuring softly to one another, catching up on one another’s lives.

  “Yes. They didn’t bother to tell you because they are very much ancients.”

  “What does that mean?” she asked suspiciously.

  “It means they are set in the old ways. They may want to embrace the latest technology, but they still believe firmly that a woman is to be cherished, treasured and cared for whether she likes it or not.”

  “All women would like that.”

  He smiled at her and shook his head. “They would not like the way we go about it, taking the decision out of your hands. You do not like the thought that they fed you without your consent. You frowned and it was easy enough to read your expression.”

  “It wouldn’t have hurt them to ask me first.”

  “That is my point, hän sívamak, I doubt very much that they will ask their lifemates’ permission to do much at all. Ferro especially. He is too old and believes too strongly in what his role is and what that of his woman is.” He sighed and rubbed his temples.