To Kill a Bunyip

by A R Dent

  ~~~~~

  Whilst the village knew little of Greg Cunningham’s disappearance, at the hotel not all conversation was about the disappearance of two fishermen.

  ‘Thelma, I have been living and drinking here in Null for three years and I was wondering why people don’t want to drink with me here in the pub. It’s as though I talk nonsense to everybody and people don’t understand me. I’ll just sit and drink with the flies. I don’t mind it. One day a woman might appear who I can have an intelligent conversation with.’ Eric said.

  ‘Eric, I am a woman. Are you saying I talk rubbish?’

  ‘No Thelma, I am not saying that. What I am saying is – ah – forget it. It’s difficult to explain to some people. I’ll just sit at my usual table and read the paper.’

  Eric took his beer and moved over to his favourite table, laid out his newspaper, sat his beer down, took out his reading spectacles, and sat down. Eric glanced over the headlines and wondered how many other people in Null knew of a new president somewhere in Africa or the tragedy of the floods in Europe. Eric put his head down again immersed in foreign countries and thought how nice it would be to have a wife he could be at home with discussing matters of international importance. “All the good ones are taken,” was Eric’s conclusion.

  The days of loneliness and isolation are a sad story the world over for people living alone. A need for social interaction or a feeling of being wanted meant many people became hermits living their past as though it had to continue. It never occurred to these people how change is the only constant. Change as in new friends or new ideas. What was the done thing when growing up doesn’t mean it has to be what dictates as life progresses. Eric was once a high school teacher and saw it his place to teach. The fact was: Eric knew nothing but teaching. Eric never learnt anything but his world of teaching and seeing graduates go off to the real world. There were many people like Eric in Null. One ex schoolteacher friend said to Eric one day,

  ‘Let go of your past Eric. There’s a life after retirement and it has nothing to do with teaching. I’ve learnt more since retirement than when I was employed. Our jobs were simply a way of paying the bills Eric so get over it – you’ve left that job.’

  Eric reacted badly to his friend’s advice and chose to continue his life as a teacher. So Eric sits and reads his paper not knowing many women in Null would give their right arm to have him as a husband. Thelma once suggested to Eric he join a book-reading group she knew of. Eric’s answer was that he was a Protestant. Thelma said nothing to Eric on that subject again.

  A particular caustic attitude pervaded the odd person in Null: an attitude of being against change of any sort. Philip Jones was such a person.

  ‘Hey Thelma. Has anyone seen that Gary Smith since the crocodile incident? He used to be in here every week for a beer and now we never see him. Is he too good for us now? Off to Canberra drinking wine with his little finger curled.’

  ‘Shut your big mouth Jonesee. Gary was here yesterday, put twenty dollars on the bar, and said, “Thelma this will buy that man over there, Eric, a drink. Let him know we are thinking of him.” And that’s what he does now Jonesee, so keep that trap of yours shut.’

  Ron Dawson walked into the bar and went over to one of the tables. Ron spoke to one of the men sitting at the table and informed him his motor was now repaired and he could pick it up. Ron then walked over to the bar.

  ‘Just one beer please Thel,’ Ron said.

  ‘One beer coming up. Ron, how is it going with the outboard motors now that the fishermen are eating rump steak for dinner?’ Thelma said.

  ‘A lot of maintenance, I’m busy as a blue tail fly with all the hoo har. I’ve never seen anything like it. So many opinions and experts in one tiny place. I have to keep my opinions to myself at work. But I can tell you one thing – life’s not the same here and when we get answers, we will get a shock. It is not what is the reason so much but can the village handle it? It is as if everyone believes the next theory - people are changing their mind by the minute. I need to set up a new set of rules at home. What I want is to go home and not hear another opinion of what happened. As soon as the maintenance is done on the locals’ boats, I will be unemployed. We have to batten the hatches until the blow is over. The weather is totally unseasonal and the coming Seafood Festival’s a worry. It’s the tourists that might not come. The festival and the economy are based around the prawns, crabs, and fish we produce.

  ‘Don’t forget the new industry here. Same as every fishing village along the coast. Health care, Retirement Homes, god’s waiting room stuff. And not to mention the new health insurance that’s available now. A health insurance scheme to reduce costs, and run by funeral parlours. Much cheaper and cuts out the middleman and covers funeral expenses. I joined immediately when I saw what it gives us oldies who are getting on a bit. Then there is the death by doctor or hospital factor or death by accidents. Around here death is more common than the common cold so why not?’

  ‘Thelma, you are known for exaggerating. It might be best you don’t say that too often. There might be a tourist within earshot. Tourists could be the disappearing frog.’

  ‘I was only talking the other day to that new bloke who came to town, what’s his name? The one with the special fishing boat that has two motors, one on the bow and one on the stern?’ Thelma said.

  ‘Oh him, yes I know, don’t know his name. That’s an electric motor on the bow. He doesn’t keep his catch. Lets them go. He keeps one but let’s all the others go. Has he stirred a few people up with what he believes. It’s as though just the thought of only taking what you can eat for one day is a threat to every person who lives here. Catch and Release he calls it and some people hate his ideals. But they stopped killing elephants didn’t they.’

  ‘Only because there were no more elephants to kill. I get his point but I love my fresh fish like everyone - and fresh prawns - we have some of the best prawns around here - it’s what they feed on they reckon. As long as I can go down to the Co-Op and buy some of the best prawns I don’t care whether that bloke lets every fish come or go. its prawns and mud crabs that make a good stir fry.’

  ‘I don’t eat prawns much but I like them in a stir fry and we have the normal health insurance.’

  ‘Ron, before you go, where’s the best place to fish on the dead low? Father Fred was in here yesterday and saying he knew a low tide hole that produced river monsters. I’ve never seen Father Fred fishing.’

  ‘Oh, don’t worry about Father Fred. He is harmless and gets carried away a bit with his theories. He nearly took his leg off one day. He started an outboard motor when it was on a trailer. The motor going full throttle and the propeller sliced through the leg of his pants. He cursed the motor as though it was the devil. He won’t be going near another outboard motor again. We still laugh at what happened that day. The river monsters he talks about are barramundi, cod and mulloway, everyone who knows the deep holes in the creeks knows where the river monsters are. Local knowledge is still the best kept secret around here.’

  Ron finished his beer with his friend and left the hotel. As each person entered the hotel, Thelma heard a new theory.

  ‘Hello Thelma, three beers and a scotch please,’

  ‘Hey Phil, I was just talking to Ron, he says he knows for certain that some deep holes in the creeks are definitely the home of river monsters. I bet it’s not a crocodile. I reckon it’s a river monster. Remember that year the dog disappeared. The dog was at the water’s edge and one minute he was there and the next he was gone. All indications were he went into the creek and disappeared. I’m going for that - a huge giant river monster. The bloke down there drinking on his own - he’s taking bets on what’s going on. I put twenty dollars on it being a river monster. He gave me fifty to one on it being a river monster.’

  ‘Twenty dollars eh? I think I might put a few dollars on it too. Thanks for the tip off Thelma. We might be on the money. Fifty to one, now that’s a long shot that
could be the money winner. I remember one day I cleaned up the bookies down at Albion Park. One hundred dollars on a favourite then all up on a hundred to one. Both horses romped home. We went on a day trip to the Gold Coast that year. We lived it up. See you later Thelma,’ Phil said.