Dangerous Waters
Page 22
She lay very still for a moment, then raised her head and looked at him, mistily. “You made threats. You ... you kissed me as if...”
“I know! But it was all part of the same thing—just as it was because of frustration and hurt that you goaded me into behaving like some passionate young fool.” He spoke a little thickly, bending towards her. “But we don’t have to pretend any more, do we, honey?”
Her lips parted tremulously, and he leaned forward and took her shoulders, drew her into his arms. She saw that his eyes were suddenly laughing and angry, his teeth savagely tight in spite of the gentleness of his touch.
“Right here close to my heart is where you belong, Teresa. I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love anyone. I have to look after you for the rest of my life—you must have felt that even when we were flying at each other’s throats!”
“Oh, Pete,” she sighed unsteadily against his neck. “If only you’d let me guess a little, instead of being such a bully.”
“Damn it, I was jealous of every man who looked at you. If it had been possible to show you I loved you, that for our own sakes we had to get rid of the tie and start again, life might have been more peaceful.”
“You did once tell me that Astrid was the only woman you’d ever thought of marrying!”
“Before I met you that was true, and afterwards I had to use it as a weapon. I had to start being defensive with you from the very first day, because we were thrown so close together, in jungle heat, twenty-four hours a day. I couldn’t have left you in Vinan had my life depended on it.” His planed-off features looked lean. “I couldn’t let you go to Singapore with Roger, either—however much you loathed my tactics.”
“I forgive you,” she said weakly. “It’s true that we shall never know each other as ordinary human beings, isn’t it?”
“It is, but it doesn’t matter. No other couple ever had the send-off that we’ve had! Between Vinan and Penghu I came to know you so well—in a straw hat lined with banana leaves, wearing a frock that I myself had ripped asunder at the waist. I can still see the untidy belt of lint stained with gentian violet.” His tones quietened. “And I can still feel your fear of the crocodile, your joy at walking among coconut palms for the first time, your sadness that last night in Tembin.”
“Pete, you don’t know what a wonder it is to hear you talk like this. It’s appalling to think what might have happened if we’d had to wait months for an annulment.”
“I couldn’t have waited. I’d have badgered the courts for a quick decision. There’s just so much one can stand—no more. Darling...”
He stood up and drew her with him, kissed her tenderly. Then again, rather less tenderly. But he was careful not to remind her of that other, violent onslaught. She clung to him, aware that at last her heart was fully alive and needing everything he could give. Some time she would believe this had really happened.
“I do love you so, Pete,” she said softly.
“Not enough, though. I want more ... and more.”
“That’s how it will be.” She pressed her cheek to his. “What do we do now?”
“We go out to the car, and in passing we’ll throw out the information that the dinner this evening will celebrate the fact that we’re getting married in a few days. After that we’ll have lunch at my house and send poor old Bretherton a note.”
She laughed a little. “Do you think he ate all the food himself?”
“Be too bad if for the first time in his life one of his clients put him off his lunch! We’ll invite the old glutton to the wedding.”
“The wedding,” she said dreamily. “I still can’t believe we’re going to be married.”
“It’ll be the real thing this time,” he promised, almost grimly. “I’ll see to that!”
He kissed her again. And as she held him close and felt the need and vitality and strength in him, she knew a deep and vibrant thankfulness for those strange, heavenly, frightening days along the river.
THE END