The Farmer's Perfect Match
Page 15
There was nothing to be read on her face.
Disappointment shrivelled his heart to the dimensions of a pea. He pushed at the rock-strewn ground with the toe of his boot, fighting down a desire to disappear beneath it. So this was what it took to make him finally realise the futility of his feelings for Evie. He had to stop embarrassing himself by expecting more of their relationship than she could ever be interested in.
‘Okay then. Let’s get back to business.’ Neil clapped his hands peremptorily. Clearly, it was the end of the subject as far as he was concerned. ‘Adam, I want shots of you over there.’ He gestured towards the faraway figure of Cam with the other two girls. ‘Evie, I’ll send one of the girls back.’
* * *
Evie watched them walk away, her heart beating fast. What had just happened? Had she really managed to lie her way through that whole scene without giving anything away to either Adam or her boss? If she had, she was becoming a lot tougher than she’d realised. A lot more controlled. A lot less like herself.
She wouldn’t dwell for the moment on whether that was a good thing.
She’d been surprised to hear herself, along with Adam, laughing at the idea they had any feelings for one another. To her ears it had been a high, thin, almost desperate sound, but still a laugh. And when Neil had referred to Adam’s world as a backwater, a place she’d never fit in, she’d kept her professional facade in place while screaming in protest on the inside. This whole area was beautiful. Magical. Why wouldn’t she fit in? She hadn’t needed to look at Adam to know he was watching for her reaction, but she’d had to keep her features composed. Crossing the boss was not an option.
At least she now knew without a doubt how Adam really regarded their relationship. He had no feelings for her beyond friendship. He’d never lie about something like that. He was too decent a person.
He liked her. She was a great girl and very helpful. There’d been a similar comment on her Year Six report card. But the killer, she’s like family to me, was what had finally hit home. He regarded her as a sister.
Good to know how things stood. Sort of.
The familiar torment of unrequited feelings twisted her stomach. She’d been here before and it didn’t get any better with a return visit. Was she going to be a fool all her life where men were concerned? A pulse pounded loudly in her forehead and her heart was beating nineteen to the dozen. Dammit! All stressed out and no one to strangle.
‘I’m coming! Be there in a minute!’
Evie’s head went up instantly. Thank you, God, for the swift response. If anyone needed throttling …
Chrissy tottered towards her in the sky-high heels she refused to ditch, no matter how difficult it must be to traverse the rocky, irregular terrain.
Oh man, did they have to make her legs look so bloody fantastic?
‘Are you ready?’ the blonde demanded, arriving in front of her amid a flurry of brightly coloured bikini cover-up and perfectly teased hair. The too-sweet scent of Princess was almost overwhelming.
Evie wasn’t in the mood for niceties. ‘As I’ll ever be.’
When the brief interview was completed, Chrissy narrowed her stare on Evie. ‘What is it you’ve got against me?’ The bright-blue eyes scanned her critically from top to bottom. ‘Is it that I make an effort to look half-decent for a man? Or don’t you like the attention I’ve been getting from Adam?’
What the …? When this woman bit, she bit hard. Despite her determination not to, Evie glanced self-consciously down. Tatty cut-off denims and oversize black T-shirt. Okay, so maybe there was a point to be taken there.
But hey, she was crew, not on-air. She had no one to impress. What did her appearance matter? Her first instinct was to defend herself but common sense won out. Two confrontations in one day with key players in her career future? Not going to happen.
Yet another lie to placate was required. ‘I don’t have anything against you, Chrissy.’ Apart from the all-about-me attitude, your backstabbing of Meg, the egotistical presumption you’ll win this. Hmm. Anything she’d left out? Oh yeah, and your play-acting at actually having any real feelings for Adam.
‘Your attraction to Adam is obvious. You do know that, don’t you?’
‘There’s nothing between me and Adam!’ Evie shot back, exasperated after having just been through this with Neil, and far from interested in going over it again. Especially with little Miss Wright.
‘I didn’t say anything about him being attracted to you. You’re the one making an idiot of yourself. Those love-struck eyes whenever you look at him. The interruptions whenever he and I get up close and personal. And that schmoozing with his mother yest …’
Chrissy’s words faded to a buzz of white noise in Evie’s head. There was that word again. Schmoozing. The same word Neil had used last night. Had he and Chrissy been discussing her? That had to be unethical. And when? The private talk she’d witnessed between them yesterday had taken place before she’d even spoken to May. It must have been last night. They’d left the bar within ten minutes of each other, and earlier than everyone else. The analysis ran through her brain in the space of a breath.
‘… so back off,’ Chrissy finished up. The cat’s-bum expression on her face grated no end.
You, my dear Chrissy, need a few lessons in common courtesy. With a personality transplant thrown in for good measure.
Somehow Evie bit back the aversion she too often felt close to revealing. Antagonising her would only lead to more problems.
She sucked up a deep breath. ‘Chrissy, I’m sorry if I’ve given the impression I don’t like you. And I can assure you my interest in Adam is purely professional.’ She spoke patiently. Evenly. ‘He and I are friends. That’s as far as it goes.’ It was all she could do to keep the forced smile of contrition pasted on her face.
Inside, she was dying. The lies were coming too easily to her now.
CHAPTER
14
Paradise Pearl Farm
March 23
‘Tell me what you’re thinking,’ Neil demanded, tapping a key on the laptop.
Evie bit back the words that instantly sprang to mind. Unethical. Unconscionable. Immoral.
Plain common sense was enough to tell her she’d have to tread carefully here. ‘The footage has been stitched together flawlessly.’ When career mattered more to you than anything else in your life, being evasive wasn’t really the same as lying. Was it?
‘Now tell me what you really think.’ Reading something in her face she obviously hadn’t managed to conceal, Neil pinioned her with his gaze.
Okay. When you respect someone you owe them the truth.
She ran her tongue over dry lips, fighting down nervousness. ‘I know it’s not what you want to hear, Boss, but just listen for a sec. I have the same problem with those two episodes that I had with the teaser. It’s a misrepresentation of what’s going on.’
The tight twitch of his lips signalled irritation. ‘We’ve been through this. It’s what the producers are asking for.’
Recognising the finality in the statement but unable to refrain from speaking her mind, she tried rephrasing her concerns. ‘But it’s wrong. Meg is nothing like the bitch she’s being portrayed as, and Chrissy is certainly not the goody-goody she appears in that.’ Evie flicked her hand at the computer screen in front of them.
‘The camera loves her.’
‘It might, but that doesn’t make her Miss Goody Two-Shoes.’
Neil bristled visibly. Instantly regretting her blunt honesty, Evie braced for his reaction.
‘This animosity you have towards Chrissy is becoming a problem.’
Being slapped with the accusation had her reeling, but somehow she kept her cool. ‘I don’t bear her any animosity.’ I might not like her, but I don’t hate her, she silently justified. ‘Where did that come from, Boss?’
‘Chrissy broached it with me.’
‘When?’
For a brief moment Neil looked ruffled. ‘Recently.�
� The throwaway response was immediately followed by a scowl at her from beneath his glasses. ‘Don’t question me, Evie. Just know, it needs to end.’
On the defensive, she pleaded her case. ‘I’ve been nothing but professional in my treatment of Chrissy. Under some duress, I might add. She’s the one who seems to have it in for me.’
The editor closed his eyes and blew a loud breath through his lips, his usual gesture of growing impatience. ‘The bottom line is, you’re the one who’s expendable. The producers like Chrissy.’
‘But—’
‘But nothing,’ he said over her objection. ‘I’ve also been told the sample audience who previewed the rushes from the first episode found her more likable, more suited to Adam, than Meg.’
What the …? How on earth could that be?
‘So, based on—what, one hour’s footage?—some random sample group determines the entire direction of our series. I thought the show was supposed to be real?’ Caught between indignation and disbelief, she could almost laugh at the absurdity of it all. Almost.
‘It’s real, just not as real as people believe. It’s assisted reality. These shows have to be entertaining—no one’s interested in watching ordinary lives, normal behaviour.’ He stood, began pacing the floor of the editing room. ‘The audience has to have a goody to cheer for and a baddy to boo. The Adam-Meg-Chrissy dynamic provides that. The viewers want personalities they can connect with, people worth investing their emotions in for six weeks or so of their lives.’
‘You make it sound so prescriptive.’
‘It is. The formula’s been tried, tested and proved successful over and over again.’
She couldn’t stop herself. ‘What about the effect on the people who’ve been deliberately misrepresented? Has that been tried and tested too?’
‘They all signed up for it.’ His tone was matter-of-fact. ‘Call it collateral damage,’ he added heartlessly.
She leaped from her seat, feeling herself growing colder and colder inside. ‘Neil, you’re talking about them like they’re nothing more than a—a product.’
The look he turned on her was stony. ‘That’s exactly what they are. And the sooner you accept it, the easier you’ll find it.’
She flinched at the hardness in his voice. Had he really just said all that? Her mentor? This man she’d known and respected half her life?
In the past, Neil’s straightforward, no-nonsense manner had earned her admiration. It achieved the results needed to produce top-notch, high-rating television programs. But now? Now she wished there was some way to stop hearing another word he said.
But he hadn’t finished with her yet. ‘You’re far too emotional, Evie,’ he said between gritted teeth.
The barb stung. Suddenly she was sixteen years old again, in an angst-driven teenage rage over some random conflict of opinion with her father. Wanting desperately to show her strength and independence. Still so unsure of herself underneath.
When was she going to learn? It had been a mistake to challenge Neil. Her boss’s reaction was a too-painful reminder of her father, of his refusal to countenance any dissension, no matter how justifiable it may have been. It was something she’d finally come to understand—and acquiesce to, wanting only to please her dad, needing to hear from him words of praise that seemed reserved solely for Lulu.
‘I—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ha—’
Neil banged on the door with an open palm, making a loud cracking sound, and she jumped. ‘I’ve warned you too many times about getting close to these people. You’re allowing your conscience to interfere with your ability to continue working on this.’
After the physical fright just dealt her, her knees chose that moment to give in. As she sank down into the chair, her head drooped and her heart sank, too—with a sense of dread.
He was going to fire her.
The hairs on the back of her neck rose and a silent scream echoed through her head. No. No. Noooo!
She couldn’t allow that to happen. Failure was not in the script she’d written for her life. She squeezed her eyes shut, doing her best to envisage the success this experience would bring with it. She’d been taught by the best in the business, would have her choice of any production job that came up. She’d have made it on her own and her father would finally be proud of her.
She swallowed back the throbbing ache in her throat and opened her eyes. Though her stomach roiled at the thought, she knew what she had to do. Her sheer desperation to prove herself—to her father, to her sister, to Nick—had sucked all the fight from her. With trembling lips, Evie surrendered.
‘I’m sorry I’ve behaved so unprofessionally. It won’t happen again.’ She hated how high and thin her voice came out.
Neil returned to his seat at the monitor and, facing her, steepled his fingers in front of his mouth. The look over the rim of his glasses was assessing.
Though her concern for Adam’s wellbeing was frighteningly genuine, and her sense of injustice on Meg’s behalf still devastatingly strong, Evie couldn’t afford to show even a hint of it. Ruthlessly quashing the niggling disquiet that suddenly threatened to undo her, she cleared her throat. ‘Please, Boss, give me another chance. I … promise not to let my conscience interfere with my work.’ She hoped the slight hesitation had gone unnoticed.
He studied her with narrow-eyed intensity for a long time before responding. ‘You know, I didn’t take you under my wing because of my friendship with your father. I saw your potential and I wanted to be the one to bring that out in you. Don’t—I repeat, don’t—make me regret it.’
She let out the breath she’d been holding and shook her head. ‘I won’t.’
But the surge of relief she felt was quickly followed by unease as doubts and conflicts flooded in. She was getting a little too used to going along with things she didn’t agree with. She didn’t like herself for it, but compliance made her a team player. That’s what her editor demanded; she had no choice.
Then again, maybe Neil was right to be so tough on her. In her weaker moments she’d wondered herself if she had the emotional mettle for this industry, but she’d shelved the thought to avoid facing it. And, if she thought about it reasonably, who was she to question her boss with regard to the program? What did she know about any of this? He knew this business inside out and he’d taught her any number of things since they’d been here, especially with regard to the technical side. Prior to that, the sum total of her knowledge of reality television could have fitted on one of Chrissy’s immaculately manicured fingernails. His ethics might be totally unpalatable, but he got the job done.
The bottom line was that her opinion made no difference to the state of play, anyway. Any opposition was futile in the face of Neil’s stony-faced refusal to acknowledge there was anything unethical going on here.
The job is what it’s all about, she had to keep reminding herself. For the sake of her professional future she had to play by her mentor’s rules. Even if this man she’d once had such respect for had become a detached, ruthless person she didn’t know at all.
And even if that same man was bent on manipulating, to his own ends, people she’d come to care for.
Neil swivelled his chair around to face the monitor, dismissing her with a flick of his hand. As Evie slunk from the editing room, the worry that she may well have just dug herself into a hole lingered like an unpleasant aftertaste in her mouth.
CHAPTER
15
King Sound
March 24
Gazing out across the turquoise water from the deck of the yacht, Adam couldn’t help grinning—despite the ever-present cameras and intrusive presence of Cam. And Evie. The boat’s gentle pitching, the ocean glistening like millions of jewels in the late-afternoon sun, the smell of sea air and the touch of the breeze on his skin, all combined to contribute to his feeling of wellbeing. A feeling, he was beginning to realise, he’d experienced much too rarely of late.
For this first overnight date he’d borrowe
d the forty-two-footer from a mate for a cruise up the coast, and he was lapping up every minute of the opportunity to play captain for twenty-four hours. Meg had been gracious in defeat when Chrissy won the Twenty Questions game to decide who would accompany him. With an almost one hundred per cent score, her answers regarding Adam’s likes and dislikes were uncannily accurate. If he hadn’t known better, he might’ve believed she’d been fed them. Obviously she knew him better than Meg.
Could Chrissy be his perfect mate? He looked over to where she was fussing around, setting the table for dinner. She was certainly beautiful, and had made it almost embarrassingly clear she was interested in him. But could he fall for her? The ‘L’ word was one he never used. Would she expect him to say it? Could he ever bring himself to say it? His self-satisfied grin faded as the questions crowded his mind.
Emotional intimacy was something he just wasn’t prepared for. Might never be ready to embrace. The thought of being rejected hit too close to home. He shook his head to clear the unwelcome thought before it took hold, tried to focus instead on the matter at hand.
He might struggle with emotional attachment, but physical closeness? Now that would be enjoyable. Kissing, cuddling, canoodling. The loneliness of his isolated existence made him more than open to any form of body-to-body contact—when it all boiled down, he was just a guy, with a guy’s normal hungers.
But with any fooling around went an unspoken commitment. No pretending that didn’t bother him. He liked both Chrissy and Meg. They were great girls with a lot to offer the right man. He just didn’t know if he was that man—for either of them. And the idea of kissing one girl one night and the other the next, well, it seemed plain wrong. He wasn’t a player.
Besides which, his thoughts had been on someone else entirely throughout this whole time. His eyes moved inevitably to where Evie sat talking with Cam on the leeward side of the boat. She hardly ever sat still, and even when she did her hands were constantly moving. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.