by Len Webster
Landon Carmichael was right for her heart.
“Make love to me,” she whispered.
He wrapped his hand around her wrist, his thumb brushing over her pulse. “Are you sure?”
She nodded and circled her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his. “I’m sure. I’m ready. We’re ready. I love you, Landon.”
“I love you, too,” he said before he bent his knees and picked her up, wrapping her legs around him. He spun them around, and a giggle escaped her. “God, I love your laugh.”
Alex pressed her lips to his in a chaste kiss. “And I love you.”
The cold air that kissed her bare skin caused Alex to shiver. Parts of her were warm as her boyfriend’s hard chest pressed against her. Alex opened her eyes to see that it was just after two a.m. on the hotel alarm clock. She glanced over her shoulder, just able to see that Landon was still asleep. Slowly, she removed Landon’s arm from around her as she got out of bed. Then she bent down and picked up his long-sleeve shirt to slip it over her naked body. She pulled her messy curls out from under the shirt and made her way to the balcony doors. She grasped the handle, pulled the door open, and stepped onto the balcony. Alex shut the door behind her and headed to the railing to stare out at the night sky.
She breathed in the cold air and pressed her lips together, still feeling the way he softly kissed her as he entered her. Each thrust and every kiss. Each breathless sigh she made as his fingers pressed into her hips, whispering how perfect she was and how much he loved her. Each groan he made as her pleasure stacked.
She had gasped for air as his thumb circled above where they joined, finally moaning his name when she came. Landon followed her into euphoria several thrusts later.
His touches were soft and careful as he made love to her. It was perfect. It was wonderful. She couldn’t imagine a better first time with her boyfriend.
As she lowered her gaze from the sky, she noticed someone sitting on one of the wooden beach chairs by the water’s edge. Alex knew that blond hair anywhere and pushed off the railing. She quietly entered the hotel room and closed the balcony doors behind her, ensuring that they were locked. She checked on Landon to find that he was still asleep and then slipped on her underwear and the microfiber robe from the closet. She put on her sandals before she picked up her room key from the desk and exited the room.
Once she left the hotel, she made her way to the wooden chair next to the blonde. Alex sat down and took in the way the bright stars and moon illuminated the crests of the waves. She pressed her back against the chair and let out a contented sigh.
“You look happy,” her best friend said.
Alex craned her neck to find a smile on Savannah’s face. But that didn’t take away from the fact that Savannah had red, bloodshot eyes. “I am happy … you’ve been crying. Are you okay?”
“I was hoping it was too dark to see. I’m all right.”
“Sav, you’ve been crying. That’s not all right.”
Savannah sighed. “My momma is quite adamant that I marry Cameron, and I was quite adamant that I won’t. These are tears of frustrations after hours of fightin’.”
“So what happened?” Alex asked, tightening the sash around her waist.
“I’ll be graduating without my trust, which is fine. I can get another job to pay for college. And when I start makin’ more money, I can pay my daddy back. But I don’t want to talk about me right now. How was your night? Y’all had sex, huh?”
Alex let out a soft laugh. “Yeah, we did.”
Her best friend smirked. “And how was it?”
“It was amazing. I told him I loved him today.”
“Finally. But … why do you look so sad?”
She blinked blankly at Savannah. “I look sad?”
“From where I’m sitting, yeah, you do. I thought you said the sex was amazing. Did y’all not use protection?”
“I’m on the pill, and Landon got tested after our first date. So we were safe. I guess … I’m not sad, Sav. I had amazing sex with my boyfriend. It’s just that … he’s the second guy I’ve been with. When I lost my virginity—” She paused, hating that she was thinking about Evan Gilmore for the second time tonight. “I thought I’d only be with one guy. It’s a stupid thought, but I’m happy, Sav. When I was with Landon, it was like I forgot everything around me. It was just him and me. It was perfect.”
“It’s okay to think back to the first person you were ever with. Sometimes, I think about Cameron, but that’s only to compare. It’s human nature to want to compare. Even if you don’t mean to. Just don’t feel guilty. You’re allowed to have amazing sex with your boyfriend. With the man you love and who loves you and is so devoted to you, Alex,” Savannah assured.
“Thanks, Sav,” Alex said as she gazed back out at the water.
“Hey, Alex?”
“Yeah?” She glanced over to see Savannah biting her lip.
“Can we go back to Duke tomorrow?”
She nodded, wanting to give her best friend what she needed. “Of course. We’ll leave first thing.”
“Thanks, Alex. I’m gonna stay out here for a little while longer. You have a really hot boyfriend who’s probably still naked in your bed you should get back to,” Savannah reminded her.
Alex pressed her palms on the wooden arms and hoisted herself up from the chair. Then she smiled at her best friend. “Good night, Sav. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Good night, Alex,” Savannah said before Alex left her and returned to the hotel.
Once she made her way upstairs and to her room, she inserted the key into the card reader, heard it beep, and pulled it out. She opened the door and gently closed it behind her. The moonlight that seeped through the break in the curtains was enough light for her to see that her boyfriend was still asleep in bed.
She grasped the sash and tugged it free. She pushed the robe from her shoulders, allowing it to fall to her ankles. Alex removed Landon’s shirt and dug her thumbs into the sides of her panties, slipping them off. Then she made her way to the bed, climbed in, and gently pressed her hand on Landon’s shoulder, shaking him awake.
“Alex?” he asked, still half-asleep. He reached over, turned on the lamp, and rolled on his back, staring up at her. “Are you okay?”
She nodded with a smile on her face. “I’m okay. Savannah was awake, so I went to go see if she was okay.”
His eyes trailed down her body, and his eyebrow raised. “Not naked, I hope?”
“Not naked,” she confirmed as she threw a leg over his waist, and Landon propped himself up on his elbows. “Lie back down.”
And he did.
Alex leaned over, and her palms settled on either side of his face. Her lips hovered over his as his eyes gazed deeply into hers. “I have a question I want to ask you.”
“Yeah?” His voice was heavy and filled with lust as he captured her waist.
“Come home with me during the summer?”
His eyes widened as she lowered herself down, feeling his tip at her entrance. “You … want …?” His fingers dug into her skin, and she saw his resolve about to break.
“I want you to come to Brookline with me after finals,” she said as she pushed down on his hardness, a breathless moan escaping her.
Lower and lower until she was seated on his lap. She was so full. He stretched her, the soreness mixing with pleasure.
Landon wrapped his arm around her and sat them up, changing the angle, and she moaned as his pubic bone brushed against her clit.
“Landon,” she moaned. “Oh, God, please.”
His lips collided to hers, managing to whisper, “Yes,” between their panting.
She raised her hips, and Landon thrust into her, his hardness pressing the softness inside her, causing her to writhe.
“So, you’ll … Oh, God. Right there.” H
e drove into her. Alex grasped his shoulders, holding on as his hips snapped, bringing her even closer to the brink.
“I will,” he groaned against her mouth as he sought her kisses.
“Yes, please don’t stop,” she pleaded.
“Never.”
His strokes were longer, harder, faster.
On,
and on.
Moans escaped her as she buried her face in his neck, her hips meeting each thrust.
“Landon, I’m close,” she warned between her heavy panting.
“Fuck, Alex,” he cursed. She felt his urgency in his rapid thrusts. “I love you. Fuck. Oh, God. I love you.”
And that was it.
All she needed to hear to push her over the edge, coming even harder than she had before.
Landon made a hard thrust before he came, Alex feeling every single jerk he made inside her, marking her. One palm skimmed along her back as the other cradled the back of her head, holding her tightly to his neck.
She panted hard, trying to get her breath and heartbeat back to normal.
“I love you,” he whispered.
And she smiled against his skin. She pressed a kiss to his neck and breathed, “I love you, too.”
71 Lu
lutetium
ALEX
Now
“I kissed Evan at Fenway Park,” she confessed to her best friend and roommate.
“What?” Savannah shrieked.
Alex cringed.
She shouldn’t feel guilty, but she did.
God, she felt like such a cheater.
She had no idea how she got to this point in her life. One minute, she was in love and had the best boyfriend in the world in Landon Carmichael. The next, she had her arms around Evan Gilmore, kissing him as if his fingertips had never bruised her heart. She was shocked at her actions, lost in memory and the need to find herself. And relief almost choked her when Evan pulled away and told her it wasn’t right.
For a moment, her heart clenched at his need for space. But he assured her that he didn’t want to take advantage of her. That it wasn’t the right time for them. Then they left Fenway, leaving Alex more confused than ever before.
That had been yesterday.
Now, Alex was in her room sitting on her bed, wondering how the hell she moved forward after a shattering kiss like the one she experienced yesterday.
“I kissed Evan at Fenway Park yesterday,” she repeated in a small voice.
Savannah hummed. “You kissed him. Did you feel anything?”
Alex had expected her roommate to be slightly disappointed. Instead, she sounded curious and concerned. Evan had been right. It wasn’t the right time for them. Especially with Alex having to return to Duke soon. She could only outrun her life for so long. She had to return to school.
And that meant she’d have to face Landon. Not that she had to because she owed him nothing. Especially not her time.
“I felt …” Alex paused as she pressed her palm to her chest, feeling her heart beat hard. She remembered when Evan had pressed his palm to her chest before he said goodbye. When he promised to love her with thousands of miles between them. “Everything. I felt everything, Sav. It didn’t feel wrong until he ended it. Then he took me home, and I haven’t been able to think straight since.”
Savannah was silent. It was deafening, and it heightened Alex’s anxiety over the situation. She was afraid her best friend would judge her and tell her that she was a terrible person for what she had done. That she was disappointed in how quickly Alex was to feel something for someone other than Landon.
“You haven’t slept with him, have you? I thought he was with Molly.”
“He’s not with Molly. They broke up the day after Christmas.” She covered her face with her hand. “I didn’t sleep with him, Sav. It was just a kiss.”
“A kiss where you felt everything. What about Landon?”
Guilt latched on her heart and squeezed, making it hard for Alex to breathe. “I’m still in love with Landon, but … that love I have for him is tarnished with his lies and his desire for a life without me. But I can’t deny that I wanted more with Evan in Fenway. I don’t know what I’m doing, Sav. Maybe I should just go back to Duke.”
“Alex …”
“Yeah?”
Her best friend let out a soft exhale. “I think you need more time with Evan to sort out your feelings. You’re hurt that your boyfriend broke up with you, but I don’t think you’re as hurt as when you came back to Duke after you found out about Molly. You deserve all your answers. I know you, and you have nothing to feel guilty about. You and Landon are over. He broke up with you. You can kiss whomever you want.”
Savannah was right.
Landon and Alex were over.
“Sav, I need to tell you something.”
“Okay.”
Alex took a deep breath and slowly released it. “I didn’t kiss Evan because I wanted to hurt Landon. I kissed him because I forgot Landon. It was just Evan and me, like it had always been. I kissed Evan because a little piece of me still loves him.”
“I’ve always known that you still do, Alex. My shift is about to start. Let me know when you get back to Duke, and I’ll pick you up at the airport. I’m always here if you need me.”
“Thank you, Sav. For everything,” Alex said before she hung up, relieved that her best friend didn’t judge her actions at Fenway.
Maybe the moment with Evan had been right. But maybe the timing had been so wrong for them.
Like every other moment they’d had together.
“Here,” Evan said, handing her the visitor’s sticker. He had been secretive since the message he sent her this morning after her phone call with Savannah. Alex had no idea what to think as she took the sticker from him and pressed it against her chest. He had parked outside their old high school after he picked her up from her house.
Alex was still so unsure of her feelings.
The weight of the pressure she felt had eased since she had confided in her best friend, but she still felt some guilt over their kiss. Alex had given her heart hope and had—in some ways—led Evan on. She was just so relieved that he understood she was still so vulnerable. That her actions weren’t of sound mind.
That was what she had told herself, but Alex knew the truth. The decision to kiss Evan had been made of sound mind. She had never been so sure. Until it had ended.
That was when rationality had caught up to her.
“Why do I have a visitor’s sticker, Evan? And why are we back at our old high school?” she asked as she glanced out the window and took in the familiar school buildings. She remembered walking down those steps after Evan asked for her opinion on asking Addison to homecoming, and Hunter asking her if he could take her home. She also remembered walking up the same steps on their first and last day of their senior year together.
“I’m sorry I was a little late picking you up, but I wanted to make sure it was okay that we came here today,” he said as he unbuckled his seat belt.
Alex removed hers. “I have no idea what you’re up to.”
He smiled, the first since they had left Fenway Park. Since her stupid kiss played its effects on them. “Just follow me, AJ.”
She winced.
AJ.
He had called her AJ.
His AJ, as he had said before their lips met yesterday.
Evan got out of the car, and Alex followed seconds later. He then led her up the steps of their old high school. Memories hit her the moment they entered the building and into the halls they walked through so many times during their senior year. Evan continued down the hall, and Alex followed. After they passed their old lockers, he came to a stop outside her old physics classroom.
Alex’s brows furrowed. “What are we doing here?”
H
is lips stretched into an excited yet nervous smile. “Yesterday at Fenway, it was the best day of my life in over a year. You found a part of yourself. It’s time you found the rest, AJ. And the rest of you—the AJ I loved—loved science. It was the very thing I loved most about you. And I can’t think of anyone who has supported you, your love, and your dream of science more than Mr. Miller. He was your favorite teacher. And I think you need to talk to him to rediscover that love. That passion you had for MIT.”
“You brought me back to our old high school to talk to Mr. Miller?”
He nodded. Then Evan grasped the door handle, twisted it, and pushed it open. “I’ll wait out here. Mr. Miller knows you’re stopping by.”
“Okay,” she said before she walked into the classroom just as the school bell rang for lunch. Almost two dozen students glanced her way as they began to pack up their books to leave.
“Hello, Alex,” Mr. Miller warmly greeted, getting her attention. He hadn’t changed. It had been two years since he last taught her, and he hadn’t aged at all. Still the same man with gentle eyes and a heart full of passion to teach. “Class, before you leave, I’d like you all to say hello to one of my old pupils. Alex Parker got into five Ivy League schools, including both Harvard and Yale.”
“Wow,” several students said.
“Seriously?” another one added.
Alex walked over to Mr. Miller’s desk to avoid the students who didn’t particularly care about the schools she had gotten into.
“That’s amazing. What’s your secret?” one of the female students asked as she stopped in front of Alex. She had a gleam of determination in her hazel eyes.
“Mr. Miller,” Alex answered. “If it hadn’t been for him, I wouldn’t have been accepted into Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, Dartmouth, NYU, Stanford, and Duke.”
“You got into so many amazing schools,” the student said in awe.
Alex nodded. “All because Mr. Miller believed in me and expanded my knowledge with his suggestions. If you ever wanted to be a scientist, listen carefully to the people, journals, and concepts he gives you. They could be pivotal someday.”
