by Len Webster
“Okay, noted. It was nice meeting you, Alex,” the student said before she left the classroom.
Once the room was clear of pupils, Mr. Miller grabbed her a chair and set it next to his desk. Alex thanked him before she sat down, taking in the old classroom she had spent years falling in love with science in.
“It’s good to see you, Alex,” Mr. Miller said.
She took her eyes from the poster about gravity and smiled at her high school physics teacher. “It’s good to see you, too, Mr. Miller. Had I known I was going to visit you today, I’d have brought some of my mother’s cupcakes with me. I’ll make sure she sends some to you.”
Mr. Miller shook his head. “That’s quite all right. Whenever I order any, your mother never charges me. When I stop by her bakery, she makes sure she comes out to chat. She’s very proud of you, Alex. How is college?”
“College is good. Duke was the best choice for me.”
Her teacher pressed his lips into a fine line, appearing as if he didn’t believe her. “You seem lost.”
She sighed, knowing she couldn’t get anything past him. He knew her better than any other academic. “I am, Mr. Miller. I thought once I got into college, my life would just fall into place. That I’d have no trouble and be focused, and then I’d get into MIT. Somehow, without even realizing it, I’ve fallen out of love with my dreams. Because my love of science cost me the love of my boyfriend.”
“You and Evan got—”
Alex shook her head, not allowing her old teacher to finish that sentence. “No. Evan and I never did. He went to Stanford, and I went to Duke. His name’s Landon. He broke up with me almost a week ago because a girlfriend like me isn’t what NBA draft prospects have. And that’s affected my …”
“Your confidence,” Mr. Miller stated.
She nodded. “I love science, Mr. Miller. I’ve wanted to be a scientist for as long as I can remember. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. But I love Landon, too. I don’t know how I can have both.”
Mr. Miller reached over and set his palm on her shoulder. “You can have both, Alex. But maybe it’s not with Landon. Maybe your both is with someone else. Because love isn’t asking someone to give up on their dreams. Love is supporting another’s dreams. If Landon doesn’t support your love of science, then maybe he’s not the right man for you because I know you’ll be a brilliant physicist someday. You’ll be published, and years from now, I’m going to be handing out a copy of the journals you’re published in to the next Alex Parker. If he loves you, he’ll understand you. He’ll understand MIT being your dream. That MIT is next for you.”
“Maybe.”
“MIT is not the next step for you?”
Alex shook her head. “MIT might have to wait a few more years. I sent out my application to be Dr. Vincent Rodahawe’s research assistant in Zürich after I graduate.”
“Dr. Rodahawe?” Mr. Miller’s eyes were as wide as saucers.
She let out a small laugh. “Yes, Mr. Miller. One of my professors at Duke recommended me. I never planned on looking at the application since I was in a relationship. But then it ended, and I sent it because …”
“Because?” he asked, his hand falling away from her shoulder.
“Because I saw it as a silver lining. I could learn from the best, and if I didn’t take the chance now, I might regret it when the application window closes. I don’t want to have that same feeling I did when I missed the MIT deadline. One minute, I couldn’t imagine filling it out, and the next, I was determined to be his next research assistant. Now … now I don’t know what to do. Do I go back to Duke and take back my boyfriend and lose my dream? Or do I go after my dream and lose my boyfriend? There’s no way I can have both.”
“You can,” Mr. Miller assured, glancing over her shoulder.
Alex turned in her seat to find him staring at Evan who was waiting across the hall. Alex was just able to see him through the small glass window. She smiled at the sight of Evan. Her heart made little jumps, remembering the way he held her as they kissed yesterday. How sweet and delicate that kiss and their time had been. Alex turned back around and faced her teacher.
“You think I can have both with Evan Gilmore?”
He got up from his chair, gazing down at her. “You don’t think you can?”
“I gave up MIT for him.”
“Did he know that at the time?”
Alex shook her head. “No. But there’s a lot you don’t know about us, Mr. Miller.”
He gave her a tight smile. “And that is yours and Evan’s. I watched you both through the years. If I had picked any two to make it after high school, it would have been you and Evan. I think he’s the only person who understands your love, passion, and determination, Alex. And if you do go back to the basketball player, let it be because he’s willing to give up the NBA the way you gave up MIT for Evan.”
Give up the NBA the way I gave up MIT for Evan …
Alex got up from her chair, took a step forward, and wrapped her arms around her former teacher. It was unprofessional, but she owed the man immensely. And she had no other way of showing him. Once she stepped back, she smiled her appreciation for his understanding and his words of support.
No teacher would influence her life more than Mr. Miller.
“Thank you, Mr. Miller,” Alex said. “For everything in high school and now. Thank you.”
“Thank you for being a wonderful student, Alex. I have no doubt that you’ll be Dr. Rodahawe’s research assistant. If you’re home next break and you have a moment, come visit me again. I’d love to hear about your classes.”
Alex nodded. “I promise to stop by the next time I’m home from Duke.” Then she spun around and headed toward the classroom door. Once Alex pulled the door open, she stepped into the hall to find Evan no longer where she last saw him. She turned to find him staring at her senior locker.
Her heart ached at the sight of him gazing at it as if it had the answers for them. As if he could see their memories before them. Alex could see them, too. When she had hugged him after he agreed to take her to her MIT tour. All the times he had waited for her before he drove them home.
It was their meeting point.
Taking a deep breath, she put one foot in front of the other and closed the distance. When she reached him, he turned to face her as if he felt her presence next to him.
“How was your talk with Mr. Miller?”
“It was what I needed,” she said as she reached up and pressed her palm gently to Evan’s cheek. She felt him tense, his eyes wide with uncertainty. Alex went on her toes and pressed her lips to his cheek. When she pulled back, she smiled and said, “Thank you.”
A soft smile replaced all the uncertainty on his face. “You’re welcome, AJ.”
AJ.
If that didn’t break and mend her heart more, she didn’t know what else could.
Because Mr. Miller was right.
She had to find someone who would give up everything the way Alex had for Evan Gilmore. The way Evan promised to play professional baseball if it made her happy. But the theory was easy enough. The application was the real experiment.
And Alex had no plausible expected outcome to look forward to.
Evan: Are you busy?
Alex glanced over at her laptop and at the notes Mika had sent her from the class she had missed today. Although his notes were never as detailed as hers, they were still pretty good. Most of the time, Mika was asking her if she had picked up on something important during class. Today, it was Alex. She had been reading them when her phone vibrated on her bed. It had been almost six hours since Evan dropped her off at home after seeing Mr. Miller. It had been nice to talk to him. But it was the eye-opener she needed.
And that was that science had a priority in her life. The way NBA had a priority in her ex-boyfriend’s.
They we
re similar.
But unlike Landon, AJ would have sacrificed her love of science and the research assistant opportunity to make him happy. And that left her miserable. So she decided to get lost in the work she missed while she was away rather than dwell on her broken heart.
Alex chewed on her lip as she thought of what to say. Throwing caution to the wind, she allowed her heart to take the chance.
Alex: No. Are you?
Evan: A little. I could use some help.
Alex: With?
Evan: Dinner.
Alex: I’m not making you dinner, Evan.
Evan: I was making YOU dinner. I need your help by you being in my kitchen to eat it. So are you busy?
Evan: I promise you won’t even have to do the dishes.
To her surprise, she laughed at his message. Alex threw her legs over her bed, got up, and walked over to her door. She left her room and headed downstairs, all the while texting Evan back.
Alex: Fine. You win. Only because you promised I wouldn’t have to do the dishes. I’ll be over in a minute.
Evan: Great! See you soon.
Alex smiled as she reached her cardigan on the hallway hook and removed it. She slipped it on and then slid her phone into her back pocket. She freed her hair from inside the oversize cardigan and stepped toward the hallway table. She picked up her keys and heard her name being called behind her.
She spun around to see the concern on her mother’s face and bright in her light brown eyes. “Everything okay, Mum?”
Her mother pursed her lips as she stepped away from the living room and joined Alex in the hallway. “You’re an adult, Alexandra. I can’t make decisions for you. I don’t think you ever got the chance to be a teenager. And that was partly because your father and I wanted you to support Kyle, and that exposed you to a life you shouldn’t have had.”
“I don’t get what you’re trying to say, Mum,” Alex said, curling her fingers around her keys.
“I was young. I was engaged twice and married once.”
“Okay?”
Her mother took a deep breath and exhaled the moment her palm grasped Alex’s shoulder. “I should have been engaged once.”
She froze. “W-what?” She paused, unable to fathom what her mother was saying. She could never see her mother loving anyone more than Alex’s father. “You don’t mean you should have married Liam, right?”
“No. I mean I should have just been with your father. But I was determined to move on, and I went to Liam at a time I shouldn’t have. I gave my heart two weeks.” Tears consumed her mother’s eyes. “You gave yourself four months after Evan. You’re now giving your heart less than a week.”
Alex’s lips parted, her mother’s words causing her chest to heave. “What I’m doing is wrong, isn’t it?”
Her mother cupped Alex’s face and brushed away the tears that had unknowingly freed. “No, Alexandra. To them, you’re not. But to yourself, you are. I know you love Landon, my love, but I think deep down you know you’re still in love with Evan. You’re only doing something wrong to yourself if you rush your heart.”
She nodded. Her mother understood; she had made sacrifices for Alex’s father.
“Mum?”
“Yes, my love?”
Alex sniffled. “Did you know?”
Her mother blinked at her. “Did I know what?”
“That he broke up with Molly after Christmas? That all this time, he wasn’t with her?”
Alex waited for her mother to speak. Guilt was written all over her face. “I love you,” her mother whispered as she brushed Alex’s cheeks and then stepped back. “But yes, I knew. He asked me not to tell you. After your fight, when you chose Landon, he told me not to tell you. He asked if you were happy, and you were.”
“I was happy,” Alex said, reminiscing on her relationship with Landon. All those good and pure moments they had together. But did a year of memories with him outweigh the lifetime of memories she had with Evan?
“But you’re not happy anymore?” her mother asked.
Alex shook her head. “I just need my best friend back. That’s what I want, Mum. I feel things around Evan that make me feel like I’ve lost an even greater part of myself than I had ever imagined. I love Landon. I wanted my whole life with him. But right now, I don’t know who I truly am or will be if I go back to Duke and give up my dreams for his. I fought harder, and I deserve better. I promise, my heart will have more than a week. My heart’s mine now. No one else’s.”
“I know,” her mother said with a smile. Her eyes gleamed with pride. “But you should know something.”
“Okay?”
“I love your father. With my whole heart and my whole life. I have you as proof of that. Your father is my greatest love story and journey. Liam O’Connor was part of that. I loved him, too. Not the same way as your father, but it took being with him to know that. I appreciated my time and relationship with Liam. It was good. He was good. But he didn’t have my heart no matter how hard I tried to give it to him. I was giving him an empty vessel because your father took my heart and didn’t give it back until Liam and I were over. Whatever you decide, Alexandra, your relationship with Landon was good. Even greater than what I had with Liam. You have nothing to feel guilty of because even when Evan returned to your life, you were loyal to your love for Landon.”
“You’re not making any of this any easier, Mum.”
“I know,” her mother said. “You’re so much like your father, though. I know you’re confused. But I have faith in you and your heart. I just want you to choose who lets you be happy and continue to be yourself.”
Alex nodded. “I know, Mum. And thank you. I better go. I’ll see you when I come back?”
Her mother stepped forward, grasped the sides of Alex’s head, and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be right here. Your greatest love story includes your love of science, Alexandra. Just like mine involved my love of baking.”
And at that moment, Alex knew. AJ had returned to her. All because her mother gave her relativity and a moral compass. Gave her the direction she needed to choose her own heart. To endeavor her own love story.
And stories took years.
And pages.
And a whole lot of time to perfect.
72 Hf
hafnium
ALEX
Summer before sophomore year of college
“Okay, yeah, you grew up in a nice neighborhood, Alex,” her boyfriend said as he pulled out her suitcases from the back of their cab. It was officially the second week of their summer break, and she was finally home. After Alex and Savannah packed up their dorm room and put their belongings in a storage locker close to campus, Savannah left for Vermont and Alex went to New Haven with Landon for a week. She was officially introduced to Landon’s family as his girlfriend, but she still sensed the hostility during dinner. She still wasn’t good enough for Landon.
And each time he sensed her discomfort, he’d assure her that she was more than good enough and kiss her worries away. It was a week of bliss. A week spent locked away in her boyfriend’s apartment his parents had surprised him with after he graduated from high school. But now, they were in her hometown, ready for him to meet her parents. Alex had every belief that her parents would treat him right. She had warned them after she had returned from Southport that she would be bringing home her boyfriend.
“Brookline’s pretty nice,” Alex agreed, knowing it was one of the wealthier, prestigious parts of Boston.
“Thank you,” Landon said to their cab driver before the driver got back into the cab and drove off, leaving them to stare at her childhood home.
Alex walked over to Landon, pressed her hands to his face, and tilted his jaw so that his eyes were on her. “Welcome to Massachusetts, Connecticut.”
A grin splayed his lips. Then, as quickly as he had smi
led, his lips formed a frown. For the first time since they met, insecurity flared in his eyes.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
Landon pressed a kiss on her forehead and nodded before pulling up the handle of one of her suitcases. “I’m just nervous. I’m meeting your parents.”
“They’re going to love you,” she said, removing her hands from his face and grasping the handle on her other suitcase. “I know they will.”
“How do you know that?” Landon asked as he hoisted his duffle bag strap onto his shoulder.
Alex rolled her eyes as she led him up the path and to the front door. “Trust me. They’ll love you.” Once Alex lifted the suitcase up the steps, she reached into her purse and pulled out her set of keys. It felt as if she hadn’t been home in so long. She felt like a brand-new person.
Once she unlocked the door, she pushed it open. Throwing her keys back in her purse, she announced, “Mum, Dad, I’m home!”
She heard voices in the distance come to a halt before the sound of rushing footsteps. Her mother rushed down the hallway with a smile on her face with Alex’s father right behind her.
“Alexandra!” Her mother wrapped her arms tightly around her. “I’m so happy you’re home, my love.”
“I’m happy to be home,” Alex replied once her mother stepped back, allowing her father to step in front of her and cup her face in his palms. “Hey, Dad.”
Her father’s green eyes shimmered. “I’ve missed you, Alexandra,” he said with so much fondness she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him before he could say any more.
“I missed you, too, Dad.” Then she pulled back and shifted slightly so that she was between her boyfriend and her parents. “Mum, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Landon. Landon, these are my parents, Noel and Clara Parker.”
Landon stepped forward, handing her mother the bouquet of mixed colored tulips he had bought at the flower shop the cab driver pulled over at. When he had asked her which were her mother’s favorite flowers, Alex answered tulips—forgoing the specifics of purple tulips as they were her father’s flower for her mother. “It’s so lovely to meet you, Clara.” Then he shook her father’s hand. “And I’m honored to meet you, Noel.”
