by Len Webster
Her parents glanced over at each other and then at Alex. She knew that they weren’t used to being addressed so casually. They were used to her friends—minus Savannah—calling them Mr. and Mrs. Parker. It would take some adjusting.
“It’s lovely to meet you, too, Landon. Why don’t you come into the kitchen? I baked red velvet cupcakes this morning since Alexandra said they were your favorite,” her mother said.
“Oh, they are,” Alex’s boyfriend confirmed. He glanced at the bags as if he were unsure where to leave them, and Alex laughed.
She stepped to him and grasped the duffle bag strap, peeling it from his shoulder. “It’s okay. We’ll move the bags upstairs later.”
Landon smiled as relief consumed his face. “All right,” he said. He followed Alex’s mother down the hall and into the kitchen, leaving Alex alone with her father.
Alex felt her father’s hand on her shoulder, and she tilted her head to face him, seeing the concern bright in his eyes. “Everything okay, Dad?”
“Are you happy, Alexandra?”
She knew what he meant. And she would not lie. She hadn’t rushed into a relationship with Landon. It had taken four months after Christmas before she even agreed to dinner with him. She hadn’t rushed her heart when it came to falling in love.
She loved him rightfully and truthfully so.
“I’m happy,” she confirmed with a free heart and an honest smile.
“Good,” her father said. “That’s all that I’ve ever wanted.”
“Me, too,” she found herself saying.
Her father nodded. “Come on. Let’s go save that boyfriend of yours before your mother interrogates him on what his favorite meals are so that she can make them for him.”
Laughing, Alex circled her arms around her father’s. “Trust me, he’s a fan of Mum’s restaurant. So I’m sure he’ll gladly hand over all his favorite foods if Mum’s going to make them. You go ahead and talk to Landon, Dad. You’ll like him. I’ll get my bags up to my room.”
“I can help you.”
She untangled her arms from around her father. “Go. He was so nervous to meet you. So take it easy, okay?”
He pressed a kiss on top of her head. “All right. Don’t take too long.”
Alex walked over to her suitcase and grasped the handle. “I won’t.”
“Oh, and Alex?” She glanced over at her father. “You may be an adult, but this is still my house.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’ll get the guest room ready.”
After Alex had changed the sheets in the guest room that her cousin Will used when he stayed over, she set her boyfriend’s bag on the bed and made her way downstairs. She dragged her suitcases up the stairs and brought them into her room.
Suddenly, a knock on her door had Alex glancing over her shoulder. “Hey,” she said as Landon entered her room. “Are you okay?”
He nodded with a small smile as he approached her. Landon reached into her opened suitcase on her bed and pulled out one of the many textbooks she had brought home from Duke with her. Then Landon took in her bedroom, his eyes scanning the walls as he let out a chuckle.
“What?” Alex asked, skeptical, as she picked up the Duke flag from her suitcase and headed over to her desk. She pinned the flag next to her MIT flag and then spun around, squinting at her boyfriend.
“I never expected your bedroom to be so …”
“So?”
Landon grinned as he waved the textbook at her, Alex returning to him. She took the classical physics book from him and set it back in her suitcase.
“Your room is very normal.”
Alex wrapped her arms around his neck. “Normal? You imagined my bedroom?”
He nodded. “I did. I don’t know. I expected a lot of Red Sox posters mixed with all sorts of physics diagrams or something.”
“Wow. You generalized my bedroom,” she teased.
“I didn’t mean to,” he said, trying to defend himself.
She tilted her head at him. “So how was spending some time with my parents?”
He pressed his forehead against hers, his hands wrapping around her waist. “They’re amazing. I can see a bit of you in each of them. The way they talk about you, they love you, Alex.”
“You’re still standing, so it means my parents like you. And I knew they would.”
Landon pulled back. His gaze fell to her lips and then back to her eyes. “Can I ask you a question?”
The glimmer in his light blues had her shaking her head. “Sex cannot happen here, Landon,” she whispered.
He laughed. “I was gonna ask if I can kiss you in your childhood bedroom?”
“Oh,” she breathed. Then she stepped away from Landon and made her way to the door. She closed it gently and then spun around, pressing her back to the wood. “Yes. You most definitely can kiss me in my childhood bedroom.”
Her boyfriend rushed to her and grasped the base of her neck, crashing his lips to hers. God, his kiss set her on fire. A small moan escaped her. Being against the door was a bad idea as the weight of their bodies emitted a sound.
Alex pulled away, panting. She bit her lip as she took in the desire bright in his eyes. “I love you, but you’re sleeping in the guest room.”
Landon frowned. “The guest room?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Oh, that’s torture.”
“I’m sorry,” she said with a hint of humor to her voice. “But it’s only for a week. My parents are going to New York a few days earlier than me, so we have a few uninterrupted days together. We can last that long, can’t we? Then when I finish seeing my cousins and then Savannah, I’ll be back in New Haven with you all summer long.”
He made a sound of dissatisfaction. “I can wait.”
Laughing, she pushed him off her and spun around, opening the bedroom door. “We better get back downstairs. I promise I’ll make it all up to you when they leave and when I’m back in New Haven with you.”
Behind her, she heard him say, “I’m going to make sure you keep your promise, Massachusetts.”
“No, Landon. We are not making any pit stops,” Alex said, swatting his palm from her thigh so she could concentrate on driving. It had been a day since she introduced Landon to her parents, and they were driving back from Mr. Nebroksi’s store. “We have perishables! You were the one who wanted to cook with my mother today.”
He raised his brow at her. “We could have spent some time together while your parents were at work.”
Alex rolled her eyes as she turned right onto her street. Then she said, “I wanted to show you Brookline. And that means taking you to John F. Kennedy’s birthplace.”
“I appreciate American history, but what you showed me was that everyone in Boston knows and loves you,” he teased.
“There’s so much more than that to show you. We haven’t even walked the Freedom Trail, so we have a lot to do. And don’t be so jealous. Now all of Boston knows I love my boyfriend.” She peeked over to see him grinning. Alex pulled up the drive and parked. “Help me with the groceries?”
“Sure. You know Mr. Nebroski is a nice man. I’m pretty sure he discounted the oranges,” Landon said as he unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car.
Alex turned off her car and removed her belt. Once she was out of the car, she went over to the trunk and opened it. Landon lifted the trunk lid higher and removed the bags of groceries. He handed her the lightest bag that had the bread and then closed the trunk.
“Mr. Nebroski loves my mother and her cupcakes, and he gives her discounts. It annoys my mother, so she makes sure the bakery sends him cupcakes for his family. You’re going to meet a lot of people in Brookline who love my parents, Connecticut,” Alex said as they made their way to the front door.
“AJ!” a voice shouted, causing her to halt her steps, her he
artbeat picking up speed in her chest.
No.
Not now.
Please not now.
“AJ!” he begged.
“Who is that?” Landon asked next to her, turning around.
Alex followed and before her with the most heartbreaking expression on his face was Evan Gilmore. His eyes flashed with hurt and anger as he glanced from her to Landon.
“Do you know this guy, Alex?” Landon asked.
Heat consumed her.
Nerves conquered her body.
There was no way she could run.
“He’s … He’s my neighbor.” She handed Landon the paper bag. Then she mustered up the best reassuring smile she could. “I’ll just be a second.”
He squinted at her and then finally nodded. “I’ll meet you inside.”
She nodded. Then she watched Landon walk back up the path, up the stairs, and entered her house. She sighed in relief that her boyfriend trusted her. Because if he knew who Evan was to her, he would have never left them alone.
“Who is he?” Evan asked, gaining her attention.
Alex turned and faced him. She never thought Landon and Evan would meet. She was so stupid to think so, but she had hoped it wouldn’t happen. She prayed that Evan and Molly would stay in California. Evan hated Massachusetts. He had always wanted to escape to California.
Why was he home now?
She inhaled a deep breath and told her heart to settle. She owed Evan Gilmore nothing. “He’s my boyfriend.”
Evan stumbled back, appearing distraught at the revelation as to who Landon was to her. “Do you-you … love him?”
“I do,” she confirmed with a strong voice.
He stared at her blankly.
She noticed his hands had formed fists.
“Does he know that you lost your virginity to me?” His question wounded her more than she wanted to admit, causing her to shake her head at his vindictive tone. “Does he know that you loved me?”
“That’s not fair,” she whispered. She didn’t deserve the way he looked at her. It was as if she had broken his heart. They both knew it was the other way around, though.
Evan stepped closer, determination clear in his brown eyes. “Do you have sex with him?”
“That’s none of your business!” she retorted.
“You love me, AJ. You’ve always loved me,” he said with strength as if he believed it were still true.
“Alex …” Landon’s voice had her heart dipping, falling from her chest.
She couldn’t believe she had found herself in such circumstances.
It wasn’t fair.
“This is the guy? The guy you lost your virginity to?”
Alex clenched her eyes tightly shut. He had put it together. She inhaled a sharp breath, hoping it would extinguish the inferno in her chest. But it hadn’t. It only added to it. She opened her eyes to find that Evan had stepped forward, his eyes never leaving hers.
“I’m Evan Gilmore.”
“He’s got the same name as …”
She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t force words out to stop this.
Evan’s nostrils flared. “He’s my brother.”
“Oh, God,” Landon whispered. “You … and him?”
Alex quickly turned, seeing the pain consume Landon’s face. “Landon,” she pleaded.
“Your girlfriend lost her virginity to me.”
Landon winced. He took several more steps back and finally looked at her. “I can’t do this.”
“No,” she breathed. “Landon, I can explain.”
Her boyfriend shook his head. “I can’t do this, Alex.”
Before she could even tell him to stay, he retreated into her house. Tears stung her eyes, and she blinked, freeing them. Landon had left. He didn’t want to hear her side of the story.
She spun around, taking in the boy who had ruined everything between her and her boyfriend. “Are you happy?” she asked.
“You love me,” he announced.
Alex stepped forward, pulled back her hand, and swung, slapping him hard across the face. He didn’t attempt to soothe the pain. He took it as if it were a gift. “I loved you. I’m in love with him. How dare you do this to me? After everything! After your silence. After you broke my heart. After Molly! This is not fair.”
“You lost your virginity to me!” he reminded.
“And you lost my heart and love when you left me! You don’t get to gloat. You don’t get to use that against me. You moved on first, Evan. A day. That was it. A goddamn day. It took me months!” she cried.
“You love me, AJ,” he said with desperation in his voice. “You love me.”
“You—” The sound of the door bursting open had her spinning around to find her boyfriend rushing down the steps with his duffle bag in his hand. He headed toward her father’s car that was parked on the street. Her father followed seconds later, and his car beeped, announcing that the car was unlocked.
No.
Please, God, no.
Alex ran after her father and grasped his arm, trying to stop him. “Dad, please,” she begged.
Her father glanced over at Evan and then at her. “I’m sorry, Alexandra. He wants to leave. I’m taking him to the airport.” Her hands fell from his arm, shocked that her father was helping her boyfriend leave her. But she understood and nodded her head. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and then made his way to the car.
Moments later, Alex watched as her father’s car pulled away from the curb, taking Landon away. She spun around, ready to yell and scream at Evan Gilmore.
But when she saw the hurt in his eyes, she had nothing to say. He was no longer her best friend. The boy she had spent so many years being in love with and spent every moment of her life with. The Evan Gilmore who was her best friend was long gone.
He was dead to her.
The boy who stood in front of her, she didn’t love.
The boy before her was weak and selfish.
“AJ …”
She froze at the desperation in his voice.
“Don’t go after him,” he begged. “Please don’t go after him.”
It was at that moment Alex lost it all. In a matter of seconds, her life was at a standstill. Evan Gilmore was once her soul mate. But Landon Carmichael had saved her soul.
73 Ta
tantalum
ALEX
Now
It felt as if time hadn’t passed them.
But Alex knew better.
So much time had.
A year and a half’s worth of days and moments.
It was the longest they had ever gone barely speaking in their lives. Not even the summers she spent in Australia had separated them this long. They’d call, text, and video chat. But they hadn’t done any of that. She had lived her life without him, knowing that she had to. It didn’t mean she didn’t miss him. She just put any feelings or longing for him away. She had managed to do it with such success that she fell in love with Landon.
Now, she had no idea what her feelings meant. The way she and Evan had eaten dinner as if both their hearts hadn’t been broken by each other astounded her. Somewhere between their steak dinner and their pints of ice cream, it felt right. It felt right and natural to walk around Evan’s house. It was as if she were transported back to a time when they were best friends rather than lovers and then strangers. The part of her she had been missing for so long had been Evan Gilmore. She had known it when she and her mother had spoken before she went over for dinner with Evan.
“Seriously, Alexandra, you’re going to get a brain freeze with the way you shovel down that chocolate mint ice cream,” Evan said as he set his pint of chocolate fudge on the coffee table.
Alex grabbed the pillow from behind her and threw it at him, hitting his shoulder. “I wi
ll not.”
Laughing, Evan picked up the pillow and set it next to them. “Feels like old times, huh? You and me. Ice cream as we watch random soap operas.”
“Yeah,” she agreed in a small voice. Just like old times. “I think I’m done with my ice cream. Thank you for dinner and dessert.”
Evan got up from the couch and picked up his pint and took hers from her. He smiled. Soft and so damn sweet that her heart jolted in her chest. “You’re welcome.” He paused, seeming nervous. “Do … Do you have to go?”
Alex shook her head even though she knew she should leave. Temptation was a great sin, but she couldn’t stop herself. All she wanted was more time. Soon, they’d both go their separate ways and maybe another year might pass them. “No, not really. What do you have planned?”
“We can play a board game like we used to before we got our permits. What do you say?”
“A chance to kick your butt? I’m game,” Alex said as she got off the couch.
He shook his head at her. “Please, I’ll be the one doing all the butt kicking. You’re a sore loser. But whatever, it’s your pride at stake. I’ll wash the dishes. Go raid my closet for whatever game you think you can beat me at. But don’t be upset when I kick your butt.”
She stepped closer, eyeing him. “Oh, you’re so on!” Then she spun around and stalked out of the living room and up the stairs to Evan’s childhood bedroom. As she made her way down the hallway, her heartbeat altered. Instead of fast beats like she had expected, it slowed and ached with each beat it attempted to make.
She ignored her sudden and unexpected anxiety and pushed Evan’s bedroom door open. Air rushed out of her lungs as she took it in. Besides his bed sheets, nothing had changed. Alex turned in the direction of his desk and approached it with more caution than was necessary. Once she reached the desk, she took in a picture she had never seen before. It was of Alex delivering her valedictorian speech at their high school graduation. She had never seen it on his desk, and it wasn’t one her parents had taken.
