Leave Me Breathless

by HelenKay Dimon

  “I didn’t see it that way.”

  “That’s what has me concerned about your fitness for the job.”

  Callie sensed disaster looming. She knew there was only one way to handle this. Take more than her fair share of the blame and then try to get the discussion moving in another direction. “I screwed up.”

  “Damn right.”

  Apparently he wanted more blood, so she decided to unload another quart. “I’m sorry.”

  “You should be. You know what I’m talking about. This kind of shit can’t happen.”

  “It won’t. Not again.” She had no idea how she was going to keep that promise, but she vowed to find a way. Maybe she could throw a bag over Ben’s head or order him not to smile, or smell so good, or flirt. It was going to be a long “do not” list.

  “I know my brother, Callie. It will keep happening unless you stop it.”

  It? And since when did big strong federal agents blush at the idea of sex? “Ben is a grown man. While we’re on this subject, I’m an adult as well.”

  “He’s got you in his blood and he isn’t going to let go until you force him to.”

  The strength of Mark’s assurance swept through her, making her a little breathless. The idea that she had some control over the superstar hottie judge was so ridiculous that it should have slid off her without sticking for even a second. Instead, she took Mark’s words and turned them over in her head. Two days from now she’d be doing the same thing no matter how hard she tried to forget his comment.

  “You’re giving me too much credit,” she said when she finally found the voice to talk again.

  “I’ve been around Ben long enough to predict the ending to this train wreck.” Mark closed in and started whispering when a group of nurses passed by. Well, his version of whispering, which sounded more like a thunderous rasp. “And that’s how this will end, with an explosion that ruins everything.”

  “That seems a bit extreme.”

  “I know what I’m talking about here.”

  Mark’s insistence on images of crashing and big booms made her wonder just how many times Ben had pulled the judge’s chambers pick-up scene. Yeah, she’d interrogate the scammer in question on that one later. Right now, she had to deal with Mark and his two-hundred-pound fury.

  “Ben’s right, you know,” she said, thinking a walk down this lane could lead straight to danger alley.

  “About what?”

  “You’re overly invested in saving him.”

  Mark’s fury rolled over him. If possible, his frame snapped even tighter as his voice lowered to gravel levels. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  The thought had wormed its way into her brain and stayed there, taking root until she couldn’t come up with another explanation for the way Ben shoved back so hard on the issue of protection. She thought it was a pretty dumb position for a very smart man to take. But now she saw it. Mark tried to control everything about Ben, including his choice of bed partners.

  “As an outside observer, you treat him more like your son rather than your baby brother.” Callie swallowed hard to keep from outlining the rest of her theory. “That’s all I’m saying.”

  And, yeah, she had said about two sentences too many.

  Mark’s head snapped back as if she had slapped him. It took a few uncomfortable seconds for him to regain his clenched-jaw stance and respond. “As you both keep telling me, Ben is an adult.”

  “Yeah, we know that.”

  “Let me worry about my relationship with Ben. Your job is to keep your panties on and your gun loaded.” He pointed to the items in question as he seethed. “Got it?”

  “Sure.”

  “You get one more shot.”

  “At?”

  “Getting your job right.”

  Well, that was going to be a problem since she planned to go right on sleeping with Ben. Rather than point out that little flaw in Mark’s plan, she stayed quiet.

  Chapter Nine

  Ben couldn’t take his gaze off Callie. She stood a good five inches shorter than Mark but still managed to hold her ground. When Mark threw out his chest and moved in close to hover over her, when his harsh voice rose until it carried across the floor and grabbed the attention of the entire nurses’ station, her gaze didn’t change. She listened. She argued. She didn’t back down.

  Ben couldn’t imagine anything hotter in a woman.

  “Are you ready to admit that I was right?” Emma asked as she stepped up beside him and out of hearing range of the security guard stationed by Keith’s door.

  “About?”

  Emma folded her arms over her stomach. Even treated Ben to the condescending eye roll she’d been perfecting for decades. “Oh, come on.”

  “She is my bodyguard.” And his one-time bedmate, and if things went as planned and his brother learned when to shut up and back off, the more-than-one-time lover.

  “Which explains why you were together at her house at midnight.” Emma pretended to think about her comment. “Oh, that’s right. It doesn’t.”

  This is what happened when a man spent all of his nonwork time with smart women. Screwed up his private life. “It’s Callie’s job to be with me.”

  “An interesting way of putting it.”

  He had been a lawyer long enough to know when to stop justifying. Trying to end the conversation seemed like the better plan. “Do you have a point?”

  “I’m betting you weren’t playing cards.”

  “I don’t like cards.”

  “From the way Mark tried to hunt you two down and the rise in his voice when you answered your bodyguard’s phone in the middle of the night, I’m thinking—”

  “Midnight is hardly the middle of the night.” As far as dodges went, Ben thought that one worked well enough. Not that he was concentrating all that much on the conversation. Hard to do that when he had the full view of Callie’s fine ass. And the hard lines of his brother’s face. Those were two things that just didn’t go together.

  “Are you saying the two of you were working at her condo? Looking over briefs and such.”

  Ben was trying very hard not to tell Emma anything. “What about you?”

  Emma’s smile fell. “What?”

  “Your activities this evening.”

  “We’re not talking about me.”

  Ah, there it was. His angle to end the conversation and then head over to Callie without looking too obvious. “Maybe we should be.”

  “I’m not the one who went incommunicado.”

  Ben kept digging. “You and Mark, alone in the office. That doesn’t exactly sound case related to me.”

  “Your brother is all work.”

  “No, he’s not. You and I both know that’s not true.”

  Not when it came to Emma. Mark didn’t talk about his feelings, refused to deal with whatever kept happening with her, but there was nothing neutral about the way he looked at Emma.

  There was a time when the brothers ceased speaking because of Emma. Mark’s hidden attraction blossomed into rage when he bought into the rumors circulating about Ben and Emma. By the time the last bombshell fell, Ben had been named as the reason for Emma’s change of mind about her marriage, which was fair, but not in the way everyone thought. He had never slept with Emma, but convincing the world and Mark of that fact proved difficult. Ben only cared about Mark, so he focused his efforts there. Promised and apologized, explained and begged, until Mark finally relented. Whether he truly believed or not was still a question.

  Mark wasn’t an easy man, but he was Ben’s only family, and Ben refused to lose that along with everything else he had lost from his childhood. His reputation suffered because of the Emma situation, but he plugged along, doing everything he had always done and ignoring the pointing fingers and talk of him being the other man in a love triangle. The accusation touched on the very heart of him. He had learned early that the tentacles of pain from infidelity had a very long reach.

  Ben loved Emma,
had for years. Not in any romantic way, but as a deep friendship forged by tragedy. They bonded over blood and horror, fought through whispers and family anger. Somehow, their relationship survived. Thrived, even. But never moved past that to anything sexual.

  Emma chewed on her fingernail as she stared at the hospital room door. “I still can’t believe this happened to Keith.”

  “Any idea who’s doing this or why they’re jumping back and forth between us?”

  “None.” Emma shook her head as sadness moved into her eyes. “Well, that’s not true. There’s my infamous speech.”

  “Don’t do that. We don’t know that all of this is related.”

  “Mark thinks so. I’m sure Callie does, too.”

  “That threatening note came to me, not you,” Ben said.

  If Emma heard him, she didn’t show it. Her eyes grew glassy, as if she was lost in the unknown emotions swirling around inside her. “I sat there in the courtroom and saw Steve Jenner’s smug face, listened to the litany of horror he inflicted on those poor women—”

  “Don’t.” Ben stopped glancing at Callie and focused on the woman falling apart in front of him.

  The last two years had taken a toll. Gone was Emma’s wicked sense of humor. She had always possessed an outward calm, but with people she trusted she could be bawdy and fun. Something about her life of late sucked all of the lighter parts out of her.

  “He tortured them and took sick pleasure in doing it. After so much pain and so many lies in case after case, I lost it. I said…” Her voice broke off. “What I felt. That people like Jenner aren’t human. They don’t deserve mercy or our concern. Lock him away and forget about him. Preferably execute him. That’s the real answer. Why should the taxpayers keep that monster alive?”

  “On principle, I don’t disagree.”

  “But you’re smart enough not to say it out loud and risk your career.”

  Ben didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t address it. He wouldn’t have brought the integrity of the bench into question. He worked too hard to get his position and make this life to throw it away in a rush of anger. Separating his personal view from the work was a constant battle, but it was one all judges had to fight.

  “Mark thinks I got all wrapped up in my feelings about my mother and let that seep into the sentencing,” Emma said.

  “Did you? I mean, it’s not as if we don’t all live with what happened. It touches everything.” How any of them separated out the events of all those years ago was a mystery. In the span of a few minutes and a culmination of months of sneaking around, his father and Emma’s mother were dead. That sort of thing didn’t just go away. Not when you’re ten and the world switches from making sense to total disarray without warning.

  Emma blew out a long breath. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

  “What?”

  “Be a judge. Pursuing a legal career made sense at one point. Fighting for the broader principles of justice and right. But not now.”

  Here he was thinking about the best way to talk Callie back into bed, and Emma was toying with the idea of walking away from everything she’d accomplished. “Don’t rush to any decisions.”

  “I might not have a choice. I’m being investigated. But you know what? I don’t really care anymore. That’s what scares the hell out of me.”

  “What does?” Mark walked over with his scowl in place and body in full clench.

  Emma waved him off. “Doesn’t matter.”

  The comment started a nerve twitching in Mark’s cheek. He got it under control long enough to bark out another sentence. “We have a new problem.”

  “Only one?” Callie mumbled the question as she scooted around Mark’s large frame to join the group.

  Ben thought she looked relatively unscathed from the verbal attack she just lived through. Some of the sass had left her walk and her cheeks seemed a bit pale, but there was nothing deferential about her. No feet shuffling or bowed head. If anything, she held her chin even higher. Stole a peek or two at him and gave Emma one long stare. Ben had no idea what the latter was about, but this was hardly the first time a woman confused the hell out of him. Callie excelled at the task. The only place he truly understood her was in bed. Now that he knew that fact, he hoped to keep her there as long as possible each day.

  “Keith can’t watch over Emma, and I’ve got my only other available man on Keith’s door just to be sure he’s not an ongoing target. That means I need you to work around the clock. Problem?” Mark stared at Callie as if daring her to say no. “And I’ll stay on duty.”

  “You always take the night shift,” Ben said.

  “I’ll be with Emma this time.”

  Emma’s mouth fell open almost as wide as Callie’s did.

  Callie clicked her teeth shut as she bit her lip. Ben assumed she was trying to swallow a smile. “Then I’ll take Ben,” she said.

  “One night only.” Mark held up a finger as if to prove his point. “I’ll have a replacement for you by tomorrow night.”

  Ben saw his opening. “No need.”

  “Don’t push me.” Mark nodded in the direction of the far elevator bank, then started walking. “Let’s go.” He took off, leaving Emma to run after him.

  Emma sighed. “I guess he was talking to me.”

  “He sure as hell better not be talking to me with that attitude,” Callie said loud enough for the words to bounce down the hallway and reach Mark. Must have worked, because he stopped. Didn’t turn around, but didn’t go forward either.

  “I’ll take care of him.” Emma smiled. “You two have a good night.”

  Ben waited until Emma and Mark got on the elevator before turning back to Callie. “You okay?”

  “You mean the yelling? Yeah, your brother is kind of an expert at that sort of thing.”

  Ben’s shoulders relaxed for the first time since they got the call. He had worried about Callie’s reaction once her clothes were on and Mark laid into her. Women could be funny creatures when the lights came on. But he underestimated Callie. He kept doing that, but he thought he’d learned his lesson this time around.

  “You should try being related to him,” Ben said.

  “I’m an only child and thinking that’s a good thing at the moment.”

  A piece of personal information. She didn’t let many of those slip. Since he had more secrets than the average person, he didn’t hold her need for privacy against her. “Did Mark warn you away from me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Forbid you from sleeping with me?”

  Callie smiled but quickly hid it again. “He had some trouble spitting the actual words out, but yes.”

  Not a surprise there, since Mark never talked about emotions or women. They each handled their history their own way. For Mark, being painfully private was the answer. “Did he insinuate that your job depended on you keeping your pants on?”

  “Were you eavesdropping or something?” She dropped her head to the side in that sexy way that put his mind on hold and gave the green light to every other part of his body.

  “Just know the beast.”

  “Mark threaten your women often?”

  Now she was fishing for information. “No. Believe it or not, before the explosion I handled my private life without his help.”

  “Does he know that?”

  “He’s lost his mind and his boundaries.” Ben made a mental note to talk with Mark and get their relationship back on track. Ben didn’t work for him. Didn’t like having Mark step in and mess around with his nighttime plans, either.

  “So I guess I’m the lucky one.” She smacked her lips together. “That’s fantastic.”

  Fantastic was the body she hid under that conservative suit. “I have one crucial question for you.”

  The corner of her mouth kicked up in a smile. “Hit me.”

  “You gonna listen to Mark’s advice?”

  “Advice?”

  “Orders. About staying away from me. Staying o
ut of my bed.”

  Callie shook her head. “Of course not.”

  His fingers found her waist. “Then I think we should go home and take our clothes off.”

  “I’m impressed with the way you think.”

  “I have other skills.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck as her lips hovered right over his. “Show me.”

  Chapter Ten

  An hour later, Emma’s Georgetown town house stood dark on the first floor. Mark had checked every room, every closet, and underneath every piece of furniture. He locked the doors, did a perimeter check, and looked over everything a second time. Emma knew because she heard every one of his steps echo through her three-story house.

  Now she sat on the edge of her bed wearing nothing but a sheer white nightgown and waited for him to come upstairs. He would. That was their pattern. She would turn off the lights and he would show up, strip down, and climb into bed with her. He was strong on the outside and broken deep within.

  And she loved him with every breath she took. Something scarred and lonely inside him spoke to her. Ben brought sunshine and Mark wallowed in blackness.

  The door opened a few seconds later. The light from the hallway put him in shadow. Seemed fitting somehow.

  He stripped as he walked. His tie flew to the right. The buttons of his shirt came open as he practically ripped the thing down the front. His belt clanged as he slid it open and then let it drop to the floor. By the time his knees touched hers, he wore only his pants and shoes.

  This wasn’t about talking and soothing. It was about deep, hot sex. A release that would last them until the next time, and there would be a next time until she stopped him. She had tried that before and spent every day in aching pain and every night racked with guilt as she slept with her then fiancé instead of the man she truly loved. She had learned. Mark couldn’t give her everything, but he could give her this time.

  “Is this okay?” he asked into the quiet of her bedroom.

  “Are you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  She heard his zipper slide down. Couldn’t see his face clearly but knew he wore a frown because a certain harshness flowed through his voice. “You were angry at the hospital.”