A Letter From America

by Geraldine O'Neill

  When Eileen came to put the tea tray on the coffee table in front of the girls, he said he would leave them to enjoy their tea and chat and he went off to listen to a radio play.

  “What a lovely man,” Bridget said, when they were on their own.

  “He really is,” Fiona said. “How do you find him to work for?”

  “Excellent,” Angela said. “I’ve never been happier or more settled in my life.”

  “Well, you look it,” Fiona said. “You always look good, but you look even better.”

  By the time the girls had poured their tea, Eileen was back with a cake stand filled with finger-sized sandwiches, scones and a variety of cakes.

  “Tell us about your trip to England,” Fiona said after Eileen left. “That definitely sounded interesting.”

  “I will soon,” Angela said, “but I’m anxious to hear what happened to Bridget. I can’t believe that the school dismissed a whole year.”

  They spent the next while going over the story again, and Angela was as mystified as her sisters as to why it had happened. Gradually, the story moved on to Angela’s trip and Fiona and Bridget drank their tea and ate the sandwiches and cakes as they listened while she told them about The Tower of London and Madame Tussaud’s and the Victoria and Albert Museum.

  They did not discuss Fiona’s trip to Clifden, as she had asked Angela not to bring the subject up. She didn’t want to say she was with Michael – but neither did she want to tell a big story about being there, pretending she was with girlfriends. It wasn’t fair on Bridget, who spent a lot of her days praying and thinking about doing everything according to the church. There was no point in upsetting her over things that did not concern her.

  They were on their second cup of tea when Fiona said, “Bridget, I think you wanted to talk to us about something when we were all together?”

  “I do,” Bridget said, “although I’m not sure where to start.”

  “Take your time, Bridget,” Angela said. “And don’t be worrying. There’s nothing you can’t tell us that we won’t understand.”

  Bridget suddenly felt nervous, and her throat felt dry. She took another drink of her tea. “The thing is,” she started, “I’m worried that I’ve been keeping a secret about Daddy. A secret that could come out in years to come.”

  Fiona caught her breath. She shot a concerned look across at Angela.

  Angela’s face tightened. “Go on,” she said.

  “It was something I overheard before Christmas, and I thought I was doing right by not telling anyone. Especially after he died. But it’s been on my mind, and I talked to one of the nuns about it, and she said I should tell you.”

  “On you go,” Fiona urged. “We’re listening.”

  Bridget took a deep breath. “Basically,” she said, “I overheard Daddy talking to Aunt Catherine, and from what I can make out we have a brother we know nothing about.”

  Angela’s hands flew to her throat. “Oh, God!” she said. “I didn’t think anyone else knew...I said nothing because I was waiting until Joseph came over, to talk to you then.”

  Fiona looked from one to the other. Had Bridget really said they had a brother? And did Angela know about it too? She wondered had she misunderstood something? Her brain seemed to have slowed down – almost frozen. Something was undoubtedly wrong, but she could make no sense of what they had said.

  “What are you talking about?” she finally said.

  Bridget joined her hands together, as though praying. “Daddy said it was time we were told there was a fourth child in the family, whether Mam liked it or not. He said it had gone on far too long. To me, it seems he’s had an affair with someone, and they’ve had a child. What else could it mean?”

  Fiona looked at Angela now.

  “No, Bridget, you’ve got it wrong.” Angela’s face was grave. “It’s Joseph. He is our brother. And Mam is his real mother. This has got nothing at all to do with Daddy.”

  “Oh, Sweet Heart of Jesus!” Fiona said. “This is something I can’t even begin to understand!”

  “She had Joseph before she married Daddy,” Angela explained, “and she gave him up for adoption to Aunt Catherine and Uncle Ken.”

  “Are you sure?” Bridget whispered. “Are you saying that Mam had Joseph illegitimately?” Her voice was appalled, astonished, her usual calm temperament jolted with the news.

  Angela slowly moved her head up and down. “Yes,” she said. “I found out when I met up with Joseph over in London. Uncle Ken turned up drunk and blurted the whole thing out to me and Joseph.”

  Fiona’s eyes were dull with shock. “Does anyone else know?” she asked.

  “Nobody,” Angela said. “Joseph is hoping to come home in the next week or two, and he’s going to talk to Aunt Catherine about it. He doesn’t want to speak to her on the phone as he’s afraid it will be too much for her to deal with, when she’s on her own.”

  “How could Mam have done this?” Fiona said, her tone bitter now. “How could she have lied all these years to us – to everyone? She must have made Daddy lie about it too. How could she have seen her own son growing up, not knowing who she was? What kind of woman is she?”

  “This is obviously what all the rows and coolness between her and Aunt Catherine have been about,” Angela said. “It seems that she wasn’t coping after Joseph was born, and that’s when the idea of the adoption came up. But later, when Aunt Catherine and Uncle Ken were all settled with Joseph, she changed her mind and wanted to spend more and more time with him. From what Uncle Ken told Joseph, it got so bad that Aunt Catherine and Uncle Ken moved away to England with Joseph for a few years to get away from her.”

  “From what I’ve just discovered this afternoon,” Fiona said, “it seems my mother is capable of anything.” She let out a low sigh. “I can’t believe that she could be so critical of other people – other women – and there she was, with a secret illegitimate child.”

  “We have to be careful not to judge her too harshly,” Bridget said, her calmer demeanour now settled back into place. “We don’t know all the reasons behind this.” She thought how Sister Bernadette would deal with this. “She was a young woman, and probably terrified with the situation she found herself in. We don’t know why she did what she did.”

  “You’re a saint, Bridget,” Angela told her. “I wish I had such kind thoughts about Mam.”

  “The one thing we all know,” Fiona said, “is that she’s been terrible to Joseph for the last number of years. She showed no interest in him as a nephew – she wouldn’t give him a job in the bar when he was unemployed.” She let her breath out in a long, low sigh. “God knows how he is feeling – knowing she is actually his mother. He must feel sick about it. I know I do...” She suddenly thought. “What are we going to do? I don’t think I can face her now I know all this. “

  Angela looked at them. “I don’t have any answers,” she said. “I’ve been thinking about it since I came back from England, and I still haven’t come up with anything.”

  Something suddenly struck Fiona. “The only person who knows all the answers here is Aunt Catherine. I think we should drive out this afternoon and see her.”

  Angela thought for a few moments. “But Joseph isn’t here, and he’s the one who’s most affected by this.”

  “It affects us all,” Fiona said, “and I think if we get some of this sorted out, we’ll be doing him a favour.”

  “I think I agree,” Bridget said. “And it’s different from her finding things out through a phone call. Joseph was worried about her being on her own when this was discussed, but we’ll all be there.”

  “What about Mam?” Fiona said. “She’s the one person who won’t be at Aunt Catherine’s.”

  Angela felt a sudden ache in her leg and stood up to stretch it out. “It’s for the best Mam’s not here,” she said, walking towards the window. “It will give us time to talk to Aunt Catherine and decide how we are going to work all this out.” She stared out into the landscape
d garden for a while, then she turned back to her sisters. “There’s one good thing that’s come out of all this: Joseph is our brother. If I had to pick a brother, he’s the one I would choose.”

  The two girls looked at her.

  “You’re right,” Bridget said, smiling. “I hadn’t thought of it like that. He’s a lovely person.”

  “That is the one good thing,” Fiona agreed.

  A knock came on the door.

  “What time is it?” Angela said.

  Fiona looked down at her watch. “Half past four.”

  “Oh, God,” Angela said, going over to the door, “with everything, I forgot...”

  Before she got to the door, it opened and Eileen Sweeney came in carrying a tray with five champagne glasses. Behind her followed Major Harrington carrying a bottle of Moet and Chandon champagne.

  “Oh, Edward,” Angela said, sitting back down in her chair. “I’m not sure if this is actually the right time...”

  He looked around, sensing something was going on, while Eileen quietly slipped out of the room. He came around them to put the bottle down on the coffee table beside the glasses. “It’s good news, my dear,” he said, “and I think it is always the right time for that.”

  She pressed her hand to her mouth, then she suddenly smiled. “You’re right,” she said. “Of course we should tell them.” She looked first at Bridget and then at Angela. “I wanted you to be the first to know. Edward and I have got engaged, and we’re to be married next month.”

  There was a stunned silence as her sisters tried to take the unexpected news in.

  “When did it all happen?” Fiona asked.

  “London,” Angela said, beaming at them. “Although, really, we hit it off from the first time we met, didn’t we, Edward?”

  “We did indeed,” the major confirmed. “I’m the luckiest man – makes you think that miracles do indeed happen – still can’t believe she would take an old codger like me.”

  Bridget’s eyes lit up, but she managed to stop herself from laughing at the major’s turn of phrase.

  Angela noticed Bridget’s laughter and she smiled at her and rolled her eyes. “Oh, Edward, stop saying that,” she told him, shaking her head. “Isn’t he awful, running himself down like that? It’s me who’s lucky, finding someone who’s so absolutely kind and thoughtful, and who enjoys the same things as I do.”

  Edward felt in his jacket pocket, then he felt in the other. “The ring?” he said, looking slightly anxiously at Angela.

  “Inside pocket, dear,” she said, smiling at him.

  He fumbled about and then produced a small box, and handed it to her.

  “It was Edward’s mother’s ring,” she said, opening the box. “It’s an antique...it came from Paris.” She lifted out the triple-diamond ring and slipped it on her finger, and held it out to show them.

  Both girls got to their feet to examine it, while Edward began filling the glasses.

  “It’s beautiful,” Fiona said. And then, after all the things that had flown through her mind about the differences between them – his age, the class difference and no doubt religious difference – she could think of nothing else to say except, “I’m so happy for you, Angela, and I think you’re the perfect match for each other.”

  “Hear, hear!” the major said, handing the filled champagne glasses to the girls. Then, he lifted his glass. “To my dear Angela,” he said. “The light of my life.”

  “And to Edward,” she said, smiling, and lifting her glass. “And lots of happy, future surprises for us all.”

  They all took a sip of the dry, bubbly drink and then the major suddenly said, “Where’s Eileen?” he said, “I brought a glass for her.”

  He went over to the door and looked out into the hallway. He came back in, shrugging. “She’s gone,” he said. “Disappeared back to the kitchen.”

  “We can take it down to her later,” Angela said.

  Later, when the major went off in search of Eileen, Angela went out into the hallway and rang to check that her aunt was home, and to tell her that they would be out to her in the next half an hour. Then she came back into the sitting-room where the girls were finishing off their celebratory drink.

  “How will we arrange the transport?” she said to Fiona. “It’s a nuisance I don’t drive. Edward has suggested I take driving lessons, but I haven’t had time to sort it out as yet.”

  “Come with us,” Fiona said, “and I’ll drop you back later.”

  She thought for a few moments. “Yes, that would probably be best, but I’m sorry to drag you back through the city.”

  Fiona raised her eyebrows and gave a sidelong smile. “After all that’s gone on this afternoon, I don’t think it’s a problem.” She suddenly stopped, then smiled warmly at her sister. “I don’t mean your brilliant news, of course. Bridget and I are delighted for you both.”

  “He is the loveliest man,” Bridget said. “I can see exactly how you like him.”

  A pink colour came to Angela’s face. “I have never been so happy, or even imagined I could feel this happy. I know it was quick but, when you know something is right, why waste time?” She bit her lip. “Although I should imagine that Mam will have plenty to say. Well, it’s all sorted now, whatever she thinks. We’ll be married up here in Dublin – Edward is not a Catholic, but he immediately offered to marry me in the church, so she should be happy about that.”

  Bridget bit her lip, thinking, then she looked at Angela. “Does the difference in religion worry you at all?”

  Angela shook her head. “Not a bit. He is a better and kinder man than most Catholic men I have ever met. Besides, I can still continue going to church and he has said he’ll come with me any time I ask.” She smiled at her sister. “I know religion is particularly important to you, Bridget, but please don’t worry about it.”

  “I won’t worry,” Bridget said, looking relieved. “The fact that Edward is so understanding and not against you going to church will make things easier for you both. I’m sure you will work it out.”

  “We will,” Angela reassured her.

  They set out and Angela told them all her plans about the wedding as they drove along. How it would be a small affair, the ceremony in a church off Grafton Street followed by a meal for twenty or thirty in the Shelbourne Hotel in Stephen’s Green. Nothing big, she said, nothing showy in any way. They planned to do a month-long tour of some of the European cities as their honeymoon.

  “Edward is busy planning a driving route as we speak,” Angela laughed.

  As they turned into Lucan, the light-heartedness left the car, and they all fell silent.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever dreaded anything so much in my life,” Fiona said as they walked up the path. She turned halfway up, to give Angela time to catch up on them.

  “It’s where to start,” Angela said. “I don’t know how I’m going to find the right words.”

  “We’ll start with the truth,” Bridget said, “and then we can’t go wrong.”

  Catherine was watching a Sunday evening film on television, unaware that her nieces’ visit was anything other than an unexpected pleasure.

  She brought them into the sitting-room, where she had the small table to the side set with four places for tea, and told them the kettle was just boiled and she would go and fill the teapot.

  “If you could leave it for the minute,” Angela said. “We’ve just finished tea an hour ago, and we want to talk to you.” She looked at her sisters and then gestured to the table. “I think it’s best if we all sit down.”

  “This all looks very serious,” her aunt said, smiling anxiously at them.

  “I’m afraid it is,” Fiona said.

  “It’s not your mother, is it?” Her face looked stricken. “Has something happened to her?”

  “No, she’s absolutely fine. Better than she’s been in a long time.”

  “Well, that’s good. I was so worried about her.”

  “I’m not sure if she dese
rves your concern,” Angela said. She looked at Fiona and Bridget, and then she began.

  An hour later, they were still sitting around the table, each looking drained from the intensity of the sensitive, difficult conversation.

  Aunt Catherine’s eyes were ringed with red. “I’ll make us that cup of tea,” she said, getting up from the table. “And then I think we all need to go down to Tullamore. Down to finish this off with your mother there.”

  “No,” Fiona said. “Forget the tea.” She lifted her bag. “We need to get this over, let’s go now.” She turned to Angela. “You have clothes and everything there if you need to stay the night, and you can borrow anything from me.”

  “That’s fine,” Angela said. “Edward will understand.”

  Fiona then looked at her aunt. “If you don’t want to stay in the house afterwards, you can stay in one of the rooms above the bar.”

  Her aunt nodded. “I’ll just go and put a few things together in a bag.”

  Chapter 45

  Fiona put her key in the door and they all came inside. They hung up coats and jackets on the stand inside the door, and dropped their bags.

  “Mam?” Fiona called.

  Her mother was in the kitchen when she heard them, and she came down the hallway. Her astonished gaze took in her three daughters, and then her sister at the back.

  “What is it?” she said, the colour draining from her face. “What’s this all about?”

  They all sat down in the lounge. The fire was not lit, so Fiona plugged in an electric heater they kept hidden behind the sofa for such occasions.

  Catherine started first. “It’s all happened, just as I told you it would,” she said in a flat, strained voice. “Kenneth told Joseph and Angela when she was over in London. They all know about Joseph being their brother.”

  Fiona watched her mother closely – watched as her mouth opened and but heard no words coming out. Then she watched as Nance’s hand came up to cover her mouth, watched as she then just sat there in total silence.