If Wishes Were Curses

by Janeen Ippolito

  A riot of magic fought within me before dissolving with the ceaseless chaos.

  The world was bleary now. Everything was swirly. Something hot and wet leaked from my eyes down my cheeks.

  “Huh … I guess anti-magic … not good to drink…”

  My knees buckled, and I faceplanted on someone with strong arms and a cultured voice filled with concern.

  “S’okay, Cid. Happy swirls.”

  Then all went dark.

  Chapter 24

  I dreamed of nothing. Which sounds normal, right? We don’t typically remember most of our dreams.

  Yet, this wasn’t a lack of memory. This was nothing. A blank in my mind, the REM equivalent of dryer sheets. Sort of fuzzy, inoffensive, dull nothingness. Consciously boring. Which might explain why I woke up feeling annoyed and ready to punch something. Or someone. Maybe rip up the pictures on my wall or burn the cotton flannel covers on top of me. I could just break the window. Mine looked into the back alley, so no one would notice it.

  But I couldn’t. Something draped around me and over me, pinning me in place. I tensed, ready to strike out against the heavy weights—but then I caught a whiff of cedar and copper.

  “Shhh. I love you. You’re safe.”

  Cendric’s voice. My mate. I sighed and relaxed. “You almost weren’t.”

  “Is that always how you wake up in the morning?”

  “I was bored.” I glanced up at him. He lay between me and the wall, his arm settled over my torso, and his long hair draped over my shoulders. “And I’m not used to sleeping with someone. Y’know, literally. Except sometimes when I fall asleep on Gideon’s shoulder on the couch.”

  “I’ll make a note. Beware of sleeping next to Allisandra when she’s bored.” He chuckled. “You are an odd person.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “And take this.”

  He pressed something into my hand. My heart seized. It could not be a ring. Nope. I mean, we were already bound together. Married according to shifter tradition because of the magic bond. But how could he have come up with a ring this fast?

  I dared to look down at my hand. It was … a shiny silver button. I frowned. “What the crap, Cid?”

  Laughter filled him and vibrated through me. “A raven tradition,” he said. “We enjoy shiny things and often give them as tokens of affection.”

  “I can’t sew to save my life!”

  “I suppose I’ll have to live with this deficiency.” He pressed a kiss behind my ear, turning my muscles into moosh. Then images floated to the surface of my mind.

  “Cid, I remember you doing this.”

  I looked up into his eyes and saw realization dawning there as well. “Hmm, then there was a part of me that was claiming you already.”

  “With silver buttons and gum wrappers?” I pushed off his arm and pointed to a small wooden box on my dresser. “I have a whole freaking collection over there.”

  He tilted his head. “Why did you keep them?”

  “I dunno. They seemed important.”

  “Oh, they are.” He pulled me back toward him, his eyes darkening to raven black. “And so are you.”

  Heat filled me, radiating from his touch on my skin, the feel of his hair sliding through my fingers as he eased on top of me. I traced my fingers across his piercings and down the line of his neck. Just as our lips were about to meet, my stomach growled. Cendric raised his eyebrows. “Hungry?”

  “Ignore it. I want something else more.”

  I breathed in … and inhaled something irresistible nearby. “Is that coffee?”

  “Gideon and Matthias both said you would need it when you awoke.”

  The brew of life called to me, reminding me how long it had been since my last fix. Cendric sighed against my lips. “I’m not winning this round, am I?”

  “What?” I blinked. “No. I mean, I can definitely wait…”

  He leaned up and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “No. You’ve been out for twenty-four hours. We can delay.”

  “You are cruel.”

  “Very cruel.” He eased off the bed and sat in a folding chair next to it. I noticed he’d changed clothes, back into his casual goth look. Black cargo pants, and an Invader Zim t-shirt stretched across his chest. He picked up a cup of coffee from my night table, piled high with whipped cream.

  “I love you,” I said.

  “Are you talking to me or the coffee?”

  “Both.” I reached out for it. “But in different ways.”

  “I’d hope so.”

  He chuckled and handed it over. I took a sip. Ahh. Chocolate and caramel, extra foamed milk, chocolate sprinkles, and mango drizzle. And…

  “Paprika?”

  “I questioned it too, but Matthias said you would prefer novelty over comfort beverages.”

  I nodded, scooping up the whipped cream with my fingers and licking it off. “He’s right, most of the time.”

  Cendric set a napkin on the night stand. “Do you want a spoon?”

  “Nah, I’m good.” I settled back against my pillows with a contented sigh, slowly letting everything catch up to me. “So, how long have I been asleep?”

  “Twenty-four hours.” He settled back in the chair. As much as he could in a cheap department store special. At least I’d sprung for a cushioned seat. “Gideon and I have been watching over you. After the day I had dealing with the Fae court … well, your bed was preferable to mine, especially considering you seemed to calm in my presence. I would usually say by your leave, but—”

  I waved off his concern. “You’re fine, Cid. We’re already together. Although does this mean I have you to blame for the dryer lint dreams?”

  “The what?”

  “My dreams were really boring. I’ve already said this. Maybe I can blame sleeping next to you.”

  His eyebrows raised. “Perhaps an after-effect from your magic interacting with mine, or from you using an excessive amount of your magic.”

  “Huh.”

  “We can investigate later. You should eat something. Perhaps drink some water.”

  I paused. “Now that you mention it, I am thirsty.” I set the coffee down on my bedside table. “Do you happen to have—”

  He set a tray in front of me.

  “Holy crap.” There was a tall glass of water on a coaster. I had no idea where he’d found one of those. And next to it was a bowl of fruit salad with yogurt and a side of bacon, cooked to perfection. “You’re not allowed to leave my life. I hope you’re okay with this.”

  Cendric laughed “Is that the coffee talking?”

  “And the bacon.” I grabbed a piece and stuffed it in my mouth as memories of him filtered into my mind. Meeting him at Rivermont. More than one meeting, all of them involving games at the arcade. Other times, it was at a club or a restaurant. Sometimes at The Deliberate Squirrel, talking or arguing over books. Meeting him once or twice on the street. But then, somehow, when we left each other, they were gone.

  I swallowed the bacon and stared at him. “You’re here.”

  “Yes. I said I would be.”

  “I know. Still…” I grabbed the water, trying to buy some time for my fluffy brain. “You are. That’s … I still wasn’t sure.”

  He leaned forward. “Why is that?”

  I drank half the glass before I had the guts to answer.

  “Well, I did just take out a whole room of body-snatching vampires last night. With a snap of my fingers. And giggled during it.”

  “I was there,” he said calmly.

  I thought back to that moment. “You were the voice in my head!”

  “Of course. Did you think you knew how to release souls on your own? You had the power, but I shared the knowledge.”

  “Huh. Cool.” And terrifying. Speaking of terrifying. “What happened to Neil?”

  The vampire pinched the bridge of his nose. “Another task completed yesterday. Cutting

  up Neil Halverson into pieces that could be easily bu
rned separately in various locations.”

  I almost choked on another mouthful of water. “Why in pieces?”

  His face turned into that cold, raven look. “You can’t be too careful with shapeshifters. Particularly those that have amassed the degree of dark magic Neil had. He had to be chopped into pieces, burned in separate locations, then the ashes sealed inside impenetrable, magically-sealed packets and kept in a few different secret vaults.”

  I sensed his fear. That I would think less of him for his gruesome job.

  “Very … thorough. Thank you.”

  Cendric nodded, seeming to release his tension. He helped himself to a piece of my bacon. “Such things are part of my job, Allis. The Blood Lord of the Fae court, the blood binder of this city. It isn’t merely legal matters. I have selected employees for that. Much of my work is more hands-on. Particularly when dealing with cases involving the dead, which traces back to my raven side.”

  “No kidding. Well, it’s a relief Neil is dealt with.” I pressed my lips together. “I guess my fear that you would want to lock me up is a bit—”

  “Unfounded? Yes.” Appreciation showed in his face as he leaned forward. “It only confirmed that I want to work with you on a regular basis. I’ve been waiting far too long for a partner.”

  A mate. A partner. The words nestled deep within my heart.

  “Yeah, well, thank you for not freaking out.”

  “Likewise.” He smirked.

  I blinked. “Hey, you said you weren’t proud of what you do!”

  He affected a mocking look. “Is this pride?”

  “Smugness, I’d say.”

  “Maybe a little satisfaction.” Cendric laughed. “To be honest, that is your fault. I am a

  dangerous person, Allis. I allowed it to weigh me down. But you make the burden easier to bear.”

  “No more bears.” I winked, and he rolled his eyes. “That fantastic pun aside … I’m glad. You need to relax more. Just because you have a deadly job with depressing parts, including body parts, doesn’t mean you can’t make things fun.”

  “So it seems.”

  We passed a moment in silent eating. I felt the molecules of the room around me, tingling at the edge of my mental shield. But with Cendric there, it was easier. His presence was a blessed relief. Which raised other concerns. “Cid, you’re amazing. And I’m one hundred percent in with this thing we have.”

  His face sobered. “But…?”

  “How does it work? You with your raven soul, but still being a vampire? Me as a Jinn? I’m not even sure who I am right now or where I fit in. And it turns out I’m already pissing off the only other female Jinn in the area, who happens to be on the Fae court.”

  Cendric’s face sobered. “Yes, the Jinn Lady ambassador is quite put out. But I’ve spoken on your behalf, as has Theiya. Your name has been cleared, and no further curse-marks will be administered to block your magic.”

  Shock rippled through me, and I leaned forward. “I’m free?”

  “Yes. Especially considering your current … situation.”

  “My situation?”

  He took my left hand in his, then placed his own left arm next to mine. Both of them featuring the black tattoos curving around the forearms with blood roses and flames. “I learned what this bond is. It is both of us, not only me. I extended a mate bond, but in turn, you gave me something else.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “What?”

  “It seems Jinn need a place to center their magic, lest they go mad. You mentioned something about sensory overload?” I nodded. Cendric paused, gave me a careful look, then continued. “Often Jinn center themselves on a physical location. Occasionally an object—”

  “Like a lamp?” I snorted, grabbing my coffee cup again.

  “Yes, although those are more often used to entrap them, which is why Jinn don’t usually use objects as a focus point. In the case of Pittsburgh, Lady Malda Nazari has declared her ownership and her place. She shares with Kiran Singh, her son, although I believe even having two Jinn in the same area creates some tension.”

  “Yeah, it would.” Kir always said his mother was a control-freak. Now I knew the reason why—they didn’t like the same space. I felt a pang of sympathy for him. “When your magic emerged, it instinctively knew this place wasn’t available. And then, I offered you to take from me … and you did.” Cendric took my left hand and placed it on his chest. “Or rather, you gave a part of yourself. Apparently, I’m your house.”

  “You’re what?” My right fingers loosened on the coffee cup, and it hit the comforter. “Crap!”

  He rushed forward with more napkins that seemed to come from some magical vampire napkin place. “The Jinn Lady’s words, not mine. She was being rather caustic at the time.”

  “No kidding.” I grabbed a thick stack and mopped up the spill. Man, I really liked this comforter. Maybe Gideon and I could cook up something to get it clean again. My mind spiraled back to what I’d just learned.

  The way Cendric drew me to him. The way he felt like home, like a place of security. The way I felt when he was around, like I would do anything for him. “…my house.” I swallowed. “Are there side effects to this? Would this have anything to do with me speaking your dialect of Hungarian in the car?”

  “She said there could be aspects of our magic bleeding into each other. She also said choosing a human as a focus point is rare and done only in instances of great desperation or love. Or both. But choosing an immortal has never occurred.”

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but can it be reversed? Broken?”

  “I can’t break it myself, since I’m part of the bond. We are mated.” Cendric frowned. “She did say it could be broken by you, but it would require great strength and skill, and you would have to find another focus point immediately. I believe her exact words were ‘she’d have to find her own damn mountain.’ She also said if you wanted any assistance with learning about your Jinn magic, she would be willing to help—after you endured specific ‘trials’ that as your legal counsel, I forbid you from attempting because they are cruel and unusual punishment the likes of which I have only seen from skoffins.”

  I winced. “That bad, huh?”

  “An entire magical lobotomy to reprogram your mind and excise deviant thoughts against the Grant Foundation was the least of the horrors.”

  “What a sweetheart.” I flopped back on the bed, rubbing the tattoos on my arms. “So basically, I have all this dangerous magic and no help.”

  Cendric moved closer to me. “I’m still fighting her in the Fae court. There is also the option of her son, Kiran.”

  “Kiran only helps on his schedule, when he feels like it. When the artistic mood moves him. Whatever. Plus, he’s my ex.” I snorted. “It was rather like dating a selfish, very attractive cat who could read exactly what I wanted, but only acted when he felt like it.”

  A flash of jealousy showed in the vampire’s eyes. “I’d forgotten about your prior association.”

  “Yeah well, I’d like to forget about it too. We were better as friends.” He nodded. I reached out, taking his hand. Feeling the cool, relaxing touch of his magic, and even more than that, his presence. “I’m glad you’re here. Even though you’ve gotten yourself saddled with a crazy-ass half-Jinn.”

  He squeezed my hand back. “As I said, my life is complicated as well.” Cendric’s expression turned sharp and calculating, and his head tilted to the side. I was starting to recognize it as his ‘raven vampire lawyer thinking face.’ “One part of your mind map mentioned someone to assist in field work. I have a proposal for you.”

  “I think it’s a bit late for that.”

  “There’s no law against proposing as many times as I wish, even after marriage.”

  I leaned forward, smirking. “Are you sure I’ll say yes each time?”

  Cendric’s voice grew deeper, his magic warmer against my skin. “I’ll make it impossible

  not to. Using only the most aboveboard
and … persuasive methods.”

  I swallowed, my heart speeding up. “And just what methods will you use?”

  “Aha, that would spoil the surprise.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, I could use someone in the field as well. I often work alone, simply because it’s difficult for others to keep up with me. You, however, are exceptional. Furthermore, your life experience, skills in relationship analysis, and unique magical attributes would be invaluable.” His expression turned wry. “And after checking into your legal preparations for the business, I’m happy to turn my firm onto those matters. You need a great deal of help.”

  “Yeah, I know.” My chest swelled with warmth. Apparently the way to warm up my heart … and other areas … had something to do with ‘I will get people to do your evil paperwork’ with a side of ‘your magic is valuable and I want you around to help’. “I’d have to check with Gideon…”

  “I’ve already asked him. He seemed all right with it, provided I treat you well, allow you time to matchmake, and attend football game viewings to be reprogrammed into enjoying the Steelers.” Cendric huffed. “Doubtful, but I’ll suffer through the games.”

  A laugh escaped me. This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t be ready to go along with this. We still had a lot of issues to work through. We had very different backgrounds, life experiences, came from different social classes. Not to mention I didn’t actually know much about him or what his life was like.

  But I really did need to work with someone. Even Gideon had mentioned I needed someone in the field. And Cendric was already my soul-mate. And my ‘house.’ House-mate? Didn’t quite cover it.

  “So, what do you say? I will help you out, and you will help me out.”

  “As we figure out our lives together.”

  “Yes.” He gave me a frankly appraising look that sent a shiver through me. “I want you, Allis. With everything in me. And I welcome your imprint on my soul, and mine on yours, so that we never forget each other again.”

  My breath caught with the intense sincerity overload. When I could find words, they came out in a whisper. “I don’t deserve you.” I fought for something else to say. “Okay. Let’s do this. At the very least, we’ll see if working together ruins the relationship.”