The Quest of Perkins Vale

by L. B. Dunbar

  “How is my son?” she said, pulling back and then cupping his large face in her thin fingers.

  “Fine. Mother, this is Hollister SanGrael. Holli?” His tone questioned my nickname, as he himself had never used it. I liked the sound of my full name on his lips much better.

  “Hello,” she said softly, taking my hand in her cold ones. She seemed hesitant of me, eyeing me like she wasn’t sure she trusted me, but she continued to smile.

  “Come inside,” Raine blurted, releasing Mrs. Vale’s grip on my hand as Raine slipped an arm around my shoulders and ushered me toward the front door. I looked at Perk over my shoulder, but he stood still with his hands in his jean pockets. Watching me walk away, he was shaking his head in disbelief.

  It was very old fashioned: I was to sleep in Raine’s room, while Perk was to retire to his childhood bedroom. After a long dinner and clean up, we sat around their family room with the television on. Perk was antsy. I sensed that if he had a drum set near, he’d be pounding away on it. Raine had been bombarding me with questions about where I’d been, what had I been up to, and what was I doing now. I answered as best I could without giving too much away, and Perk did his best to help me out. She was energetic, which I remembered, but her enthusiasm at our reunion was draining me. Perk eventually offered to escort me to the bathroom and provided a towel for a much needed shower, plus a moment of reprieve from the firing inquisition of Raine and the icy glare of Perk’s mother.

  When I exited the bathroom I was met by Perk’s mother coming out of Raine’s room.

  “Hope you find everything you need,” she said politely.

  “Yes, ma’am. Thank you,” I replied.

  “I don’t want to remind you that I have rules, honey. I expect you’ll be comfortable in Raine’s bedroom,” she said sweetly. I couldn’t miss the warning in her tone.

  “I’m sure it will be very comfortable.”

  “My Perk is a good boy. He’s come a long way…” she trailed off. I sensed his approach before I saw him behind me.

  “Mother. I think Hollister will be quite fine,” his tone was one I’d heard only on occasion. It was with determination and a finality that he spoke. He brushed past me and entered Raine’s room, removing my bag and carrying it to his. I remained in the hallway, frozen in awkwardness. I didn’t want to disobey her. I didn’t want her to not like me, but I was relieved I’d be with Perk. I couldn’t take anymore probing from Raine.

  I also had considered that the night might be difficult. I would be sharing a room with another girl, deep in the woods of Lake Avalon. The scenario was a bit too familiar, so when Perk returned to the hallway and reached for my hand, I willingly took it and followed him to his bedroom. He had just closed the door when I spoke.

  “I don’t want to be disrespectful,” I said with concern.

  “You won’t be.”

  “I don’t think she likes me,” I added.

  “She doesn’t.”

  I looked at him with widened eyes as my heart dropped, and he burst out laughing. I’d never seen him laugh so hard, so carefree. It was hard to get angry, which I wanted to do.

  “What?” I choked.

  “I’m teasing. She’s…difficult. She wants me to still be a child. I know she does it from years of trying to protect me, but that time is long over.” He rubbed a hand over his hair, his face still full of mirth before he turned a bit more serious.

  “Besides, I promised to protect you. I plan to do that, which includes keeping you close. I’m still trying to get over that you knew my sister, and I think I might need to save you from her at the moment.” He smiled and my irritation at his laughter subsided.

  “Why didn’t you say you knew her?”

  “I didn’t know her. I knew a Raine Valentine. Why didn’t you tell me that Raine was a nickname for Didraine?”

  He stopped rubbing back and forth on his head and stared at me, puzzled.

  “I guess I hadn’t thought about it.”

  “Why does it matter, anyway?” I questioned.

  Perk walked to his bed and sat with a plop on the edge. It was going to be smaller than the king size bed in his home in the city, but if I thought about it, we slept close to each other every night when we were together. The smaller mattress would make no difference.

  “It seems that everywhere I turn, someone knew you. Someone knew where you were. I’ve been searching for you for twelve years, and I was the only one who didn’t know where you were, while everyone else did.”

  “Twelve years?” I asked, as I came to sit next to him.

  He rubbed a hand down his face and told me about a rainy night long ago in a decrypted home. He claimed he saw me, with Elaine and Elliott, at the side of my sick uncle’s bed. It seemed a mystery to me that the same man who found me in the tent, had been the boy I scolded outside my uncle’s manor house. It seemed a bit like destiny that he kept finding me, although I didn’t remember him as clearly. He was a boy at a confusing time. He was a teenager at a time of dismay. Now, he was a man.

  When his tale was complete, he looked a bit exhausted as if the weight of years got heavier instead of lifting off his shoulders. I was barely dressed as I left the bathroom in one of his large t-shirts. He undressed down to his boxers, which had become his custom and he covered us in his teenage bed.

  I had to giggle as I snuggled up to face him.

  “How many girls did you have in this thing?” I laughed, a bit bitterly with hope that the number wasn’t large.

  “None,” he said immediately.

  “Come on. No high school crush? Summer love? Stolen night or afternoon while your mother was away?”

  “No one ever. In this bed.”

  His words stunned me. Visions of Perk in hallways with women pinned to the wall and barrooms with girls on his lap filled my mind.

  “Other beds, huh?” I questioned in disbelief. I’d seen his room the first night I stayed. It was obvious someone had slept there with him.

  “No girl. No bed. Ever,” he repeated, staring up at the ceiling. He had one hand braced behind his head and the other lay between us, which wasn’t our customary position. I lay on my side, watching his body grow rigid with each part of my inquisition.

  “I saw your room that first night. You’d had a girl there. Maybe not to sleep over, but someone had been there.” Bitterness was fully in my mouth at this point, as I envisioned someone else sleeping with him in the same manner we slept.

  “No one in my bed. Before you,” he said, blowing out air. I could see his chest rising and falling exaggeratedly. If I didn’t know better, I thought he might be trying to calm himself as if he were about to explode at me.

  “Perk, honest, it’s okay. I get it. You’re a rock star. Women have thrown themselves at you. It happens, right?” I wasn’t as convinced as I tried to sound, as if this was okay with me.

  “Hollister, drop it. Please. There’s been no one else.”

  “It’s fine, don’t tell me. I’m sure you’ve lost count,” I said snippily. Suddenly he turned to face me and the old mattress jiggled under his weight.

  “I’m only going to say this once; one more time. There’s never been another woman in my bed. There’s never been any woman in any other bed with me. There hasn’t been any one else.”

  From the glow of the moonlight outside his unshaded window, I saw his chocolaty eyes sparkle. His face was firm as he emphasized each word.

  “Perkins, it’s okay…”

  “Hollister, drop it,” he interrupted.

  “I don’t need to know. I’m just…”

  “I’m a virgin,” he blurted. The words hung in the darkened room.

  Under covers...

  [Perkins]

  I hadn’t meant for it to come out like that. I hadn’t meant to say it at all. She just kept pushing, and I was still reeling from the fact that everyone knew where she was except me. Twelve years. Twelve years I’d been searching and waiting. Holding out and holding off, and she was with
in my grasp, without me ever knowing it. I chastised myself all evening, as Raine treated her to the inquisition, and my mother treated her to silence. All I wanted was to hold her.

  I didn’t plan to tell her. It was embarrassing to admit that I’d been holding out for her. The way things were progressing, I was sure she knew I wanted her, but she hadn’t made a move to signal she wanted me in the same way. We’d kissed and we’d grind, but it was never more than me touching her. I was twenty-five, and I’d only gotten to first base with the girl of my dreams.

  “Perkins?” she said softly, breaking the oppressive awkwardness.

  Why had I said it? That wasn’t what I planned to do, tonight of all nights. I had stood up to my mother and taken Hollister into my room. I intended to protect her, and now I sounded like a chump.

  “Why?” she asked softly, again cutting into my thoughts. She hadn’t moved and I suddenly thought I might repulse her. She had more experience than me, for good or bad. It was evident that she was sexual. She’d given in so easily to touching herself. I’d never seen anything in my life so hot, other than when she straddled me and let me touch her myself. There were nights I would rub against her with the thinnest of cloth between us, but it wasn’t the same. I still hadn’t touched her like I wanted. She hadn’t touched me. I told myself it would all happen in time. But I had wasted so much time; too much time.

  “Perkins? Say something,” her pleading voice was almost a whisper.

  “It’s embarrassing.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m twenty-five.”

  “No, why are you still a virgin? As a rock star, I just assumed you’d had hundreds of women.”

  “Well, remember what happened when I made an assumption about you?”

  I heard her suck in a breath next to me, but I couldn’t look at her.

  “You haven’t answered my question.”

  “I…” I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t tell her that I had been saving myself for a future wife, because I knew that she loved me as I loved her. Even though, we hadn’t officially met, I knew she’d be the first and last woman I slept with. I loved her, this wife of mine to be. I loved Hollister, but I wasn’t certain that she loved me.

  A delicate hand landed tenderly on my stomach and traced over each ab. I sucked in a breath at the gentleness and the slight tickle. Her hand trailed up and over each muscle, all six of them, then centered between them and circled the hair that peeked out of my boxers. I was instantly hard. She had that effect on me, but she knew that from the nights we’d pressed against each other. Her hand slid over the band of my tight underwear and landed firmly over me. She wrapped her fingers around me and I bucked off the bed a bit. She hadn’t ever touched me before.

  “You don’t have to…” I started, but she immediately shushed me.

  I wasn’t in a position to argue. It felt too good. It felt better than good. She squeezed me through the fabric, spanning the length of me from base to tip before asking for permission to take down my underwear. In my haste, I removed it for her, sliding it down my hips to rest at my thighs and springing forth into her bare hand. My head fell back and my hips bucked again at the sensation of being gripped by someone other than me. She was hesitant. She squeezed my balls before she tugged my shaft then circled the tip of me with a moistened finger. It wasn’t going to take long before I’d make a mess.

  She increased her pattern. Squeeze. Tug. Circle. Faster and faster. My hips tipped upward and she braced herself on an elbow to watch her work. I dared to look, and the sight of her holding onto me undid me. Milky whiteness shot outward. I tried to catch it as it covered my lower abs. I pushed her hand away, more forcefully than I intended, because I couldn’t take any more.

  I was still covering myself like Adam exposed after eating the apple and was ready to lean over for something to wipe myself clean, when one hand landed on my chest, and the other cupped my cheek. Her mouth was over mine, as was she partially, and she kissed me like I kissed her earlier in the day. She took my lips and enveloped them with her warmth. She sucked me into her mouth then nipped my lip. Her tongue traced over the slight burn then forced its way to meet mine. She kissed me as if she wanted to climb inside of me, and I would have gratefully let her, except for the mess all over my stomach.

  She pulled back slowly and her closed eyes opened lazily. Her lids were half-mast like she was drugged, although I was the one that felt like I had hallucinated. She was definitely my poison, and I’d willingly taste it every day.

  “How was that?” she whispered, her gray eyes reflected in the bright moonlight, searching my face.

  “It was wonderful, just like you,” I said, before I reached for her face and returned the impassioned kiss. When I broke free, I twisted to find my shirt on the floor and wiped myself clean. I was a bit sticky, but I was going to relish the pleasure of it. A thought occurred to me, but I was uncertain how to ask her.

  “Would you like to touch me?” she said, stealing the words from my head.

  “Very much so, but only if you want me to.” I was certain she would say no, or say yes and let me do it in a perfunctory way. I didn’t want it to be like that. I wanted to touch her to erase every other touch. I wanted to touch her and have that be the only memory she held. I wanted to touch her because she wanted me to do it.

  “I do…want you to touch me. Please,” she whispered the last word, and I took the invitation. I tried to follow her lead. I placed my flat hand on her thin stomach and moved downward to the waist of her panties. I felt awkward. I didn’t slide as smoothly as she had on me. Her stomach quivered under my touch. While I wanted to watch my exploration, I also needed to see her face and know she wasn’t closed off to me. She surprised me by watching me as our eyes locked.

  Still focusing on her face, I slid my hand inside the band and made quick work to cover her mound and find the center of her. I tried to tickle her like she tickled me and her hips responded in kind. She slowly pressed into my fingers as I used the tip to trail from nub to ass and back. She stilled when I approached her ass, and then moaned when I reached the slick folded skin. I circled it and her eyes fell shut.

  “Here?” I questioned, completely unsure about my attempts to please her.

  “Yes,” she breathed and I repeated the motion to circle her. When I accidently flicked over a fold, her eyes opened wide, then shut again. She pressed her hips upward. It seemed as if this was the right button. I did it repeatedly before finding an opening and sliding one large finger inside her. Her head came off the pillow as she clenched around me and moaned softly. She gripped the sheets into balls, tightening her hands into fists.

  “Here?” I asked again, as I slid the finger in and out, enjoying the warmth of her around me. I was instantly hard again.

  “Yes,” she said in a voice slightly strained. I used my thumb to reach that nub of pleasure and attempted a second finger inside her. A soft puff of air escaped her, and I stilled as my fingers settled inside her.

  “Don’t stop,” she whispered, as hazy eyes opened to mine. I risked watching what I did to her lower body as I pulled to the edge of her, then pushed forward deep inside her. Her hips began to match my rhythm, and one of her hands came up to the back of my head as I was perched on my elbow now, mimicking her previous position. Her hand slipped frantically over my short hair. Her finger nails scrapping over it, her fingers searching for something to grip. She reached the nape of my neck and held tight as I continued to work her with fingers and thumb, when I felt a strange sensation of tightness around me. I looked from my handy work to her face and found her eyes watching me again.

  “Explode for me,” I said in a voice I didn’t recognize. I felt powerful, and yet powerless, as I tried to bring her to a pleasure that matched mine. The tightening began in earnest and her mouth fell open as her head tipped back. She couldn’t be vocal in my mother’s home, and I watched her swallow hard, straining to keep it contained.

  “Yes, Perkins!” She released
in hushed sound and body at the same time, holding the notes for long periods, milking my fingers inside her, and praising my name with her voice.

  Halloween masquerade…

  [Perkins]

  The next morning I expected to feel awkward, and I did. In the bright light of day, with the sun streaming into my childhood room, I was embarrassed about what I had admitted. But my body felt something it had never known before. Refreshed, I was ready for her, but I needed to continue in our slower manner. She was huddled into me, as was our custom. I longed to rediscover her, but I didn’t want to disturb her sleep. She had been restless during the night. I worried it was a combination of what we’d done and her memories of being here.

  My mother could have been friendlier, and I sensed Hollister’s apprehension with the first slight by Mother. She would eye Hollister like she was trying to read her, and I wanted to laugh. The layers of Hollister were so complex, there was no way to look at her and know her. Raine, on the other hand, was almost giddy to a fault, speaking quickly and in that high-pitched tone. It was a nervous habit to fill the empty space. While I had been inquisitive as a child, Raine had an energy I didn’t possess, that bordered on meddlesome. She had been fortunate to go to school in the city at the same time I left for college.

  Mother believed if we were together in the city, we would have one another for support. Little did she know that we were almost instantly separated. Raine attended a private boarding school, while I was at college. The band took all my time outside of classes as I struggled. Being homeschooled, I entered high school to discover a new pattern of learning. Entering college had been like going to a foreign country. The loose schedule and long stretches of free time did nothing for me, but let me practice as I pleased. I was set free from Mother and the torture of high school. I added a new item to my daily regimen: working out.

  As I grew older, I lost the rolling baby fat of being loose and flabby. I was soft everywhere. When I went to college, I began to work out with a passion. It filled time that I couldn’t concentrate on studies, and it filled the void of wanting physical pleasure.