Spider Legs

by Piers Anthony

  “Are you teasing me again?” he demanded.

  She pinched his bottom. “Nathan, would I do that to you? Don't you trust me?”

  “Can't we just forget about it?” He was both amused and embarrassed. “I'm sorry I asked.”

  “Maybe sometime I'll show you how I wear it,” she said. “But we do have other business at the moment.”

  “Yes, I think we do.” He disengaged. But he remained mightily curious.

  They climbed back onto the bed. But this restored his diffidence; he wasn't sure how to get close to her again, because the horizontal dynamics differed from the vertical. He hesitated.

  “You haven't gone to sleep?” she inquired mischievously.

  He forced a laugh. “Ah, no. I'm a bit nervous.”

  “You realize that any other man would have done it and been asleep by this time?”

  “Yes,” he said, ashamed.

  “And I would have been tense and hurting,” she continued. “Instead I'm loose and laughing. You could not have found a better way to put me at ease.”

  “I would gladly take credit, if I deserved it. But—”

  But she had rolled up against him and caught him with a solid kiss. “Just close your eyes and think of peaceful green fields,” she said after a moment.

  “What?”

  “Advice to virgin brides. They're supposed to just lie there and let the man have his way, they being so innocent they think it is his kiss that makes them pregnant. They aren't even aware of anything happening below the neckline.”

  “Pregnant!” he exclaimed. “I never thought of—”

  “Relax, Mister Naive. I told you I'm experienced. I'm prepared.”

  “You are? You mean you knew we would—?”

  “Hoped, perhaps. Routine precaution.”

  “You're so far ahead of me, I feel like a babe in the woods.”

  “Not to me you don't.”

  He was embarrassed again. “It's impossible for me not to react, when I'm with you like this.”

  “I know it, and am glad of it. I doubt you'll be ignoring me tonight.”

  “Ignore you!” he exclaimed. “That is beyond my imagination.”

  “I like the limits of your imagination.”

  “You have surpassed them, you seductive creature.”

  “The funny thing is that that was pretty much the way it was with me, at first. I didn't know about genitalia. I did indeed go numb below the waist.”

  “I don't think I could ever be unaware of the rest of your body. I'm merely uncertain how to address it.”

  She rolled him over, climbing on top of him. “Fortunately I do have a notion about that.” She paused. “Do you mind my acting or talking like this?”

  “Natalie, I don't mind any aspect of you! You're the most lovely, fascinating, exciting creature I've ever encountered. I think I set foot at the verge of heaven when I met you, though I was too dull to realize it right away. Now I'm well into it.”

  “Into what?” she inquired, wriggling competently.

  “Into heaven. Just being with you—” Then he realized what she was doing. “Oh, that was double entendre, wasn't it!”

  “Tell me more about heaven,” she said.

  “Gladly. Being with you like this—I think I could remain this way forever, and never leave paradise. Oh, Natalie—will you mind if I say I love you?”

  “Not at all,” she said. She found his mouth for a kiss so ardent that he was transported again. There seemed to be nothing in the universe except the two of them and their merged lips and bodies.

  “Then I'll say it, and say it, and say it!” he said when the kiss eased. “And not because we're in bed. It's wonderful being with you whether it's in town or on a motorcycle or looking for rocks.”

  “I wouldn't care to try this on a motorcycle.”

  “I mean that I'm happy to be with you no matter where we are or what else is happening. Just waiting for the storm to pass is great, if it's with you, or—”

  “Or getting soaked?”

  “I'd rather get soaked with you than be dry anywhere else,” he said fervently. “Look where it has gotten me!”

  “All the way through sex,” she agreed.

  “Through—?” He reconsidered. “Oh, my! I didn't realize!” He felt himself flushing. “That is, I wasn't thinking of it in exactly that way.”

  She began to laugh, her breasts shaking against his chest. “First we had a lovers’ quarrel without being lovers,” she gasped. “Then we were lovers without knowing it.”

  “There's just so much going on, it's hard to keep track,” he said, bemused.

  “I love it.” She lifted her head. “And I love you, Nathan. I'm right here in heaven with you.”

  “You certainly are,” he agreed, kissing her yet again.

  PART IV

  Phantom

  Killing

  Let the phantoms go. We will worship them no more. Let them cover their eyeless sockets with their fleshless hands and fade forever from the imaginations of man.

  — ROBERT G. INGERSOLL,

  The Ghosts and Other Lectures

  Life is a narrow vale between the cold and barren peaks of two eternities. We strive in vain to look beyond the heights. We cry aloud, and the only answer is the echo of our wailing cry. From the voiceless lips of the unreplying dead there comes no word; but in the night of death hope sees a star and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.

  — ROBERT G. INGERSOLL,

  The Ghosts and Other Lectures

  CHAPTER 23

  Mission

  LLISA WAS NERVOUS as she approached the car. Then she saw the policewoman Natalie Sheppard at the wheel, as promised, and relaxed. She quickly opened the back door and got into the back seat. There was a man up front beside Natalie. Both were in civilian clothing, and looked more like a dating couple than professional people.

  “Have you two met?” Natalie inquired as she put the car in motion. “Nathan, this is Lisa James, who works at Martha's Fish Store. Lisa, this is Nathan Smallwood, a zoologist who is investigating the monster sightings.”

  “Hello,” Lisa said awkwardly, smiling as the man turned his head back to see her. She was not socially adept, but her smile normally made up for it.

  “Hello, Lisa,” he said. “Martha's Fish Store? I understand that Martha can be a bit difficult to work with.”

  “I need the money. And I do like the fish; they're interesting.”

  “Uh-oh,” Natalie murmured.

  “Did I say something wrong?” Lisa asked, alarmed.

  Nathan smiled. “By no means, Lisa. It's just that fish are my specialty; I'm the Curator of Fishes at the Harvard Museum of Comparative Zoology. Natalie's afraid I'm going to talk for four hours about obscure fish.”

  “Oh, that's all right; Martha does that all the time. And invertebrates.”

  “And invertebrates,” he agreed. “But I'll try to stifle it, for now.” He paused. “Forgive me if this is unkind, but I understand that you are related to the victims of the sea spider?”

  “Yes. My brother. His wife was killed, and I don't know what he's going to do now. He really loved her.”

  “I know,” Natalie murmured. “They were the loveliest couple I've encountered.”

  “Well, we hope to catch the monster that did it,” Nathan said. “Though this may be complicated because—”

  “Because you need to catch it and study it, in case there are others like it,” Lisa said, remembering what Elmo had told her.

  “Exactly. Normally creatures like this do not exist in isolation, unless this is a remarkable fluke. So while we certainly need to protect ourselves from it, it is also a potentially remarkable bonanza to science.”

  “I just wish it hadn't gotten Kalinda,” Lisa said, the hurt returning.

  “Let's change the subject,” Natalie said. “We have a four hour drive to Twillingate, and we don't want to get depressed.”

  “Of course,” Nathan agreed. “I couldn't g
et depressed, because we'll be passing through Come By Chance.”

  Lisa was happy to latch on to a new subject. “What's there?”

  There was another silence, worrying Lisa. Then Natalie spoke. “Might as well tell her. It's not as if there's any secret to keep.”

  “As you wish,” Nathan said. He turned back to Lisa. “Natalie and I visited Come By Chance recently, and found love. We are now a couple.”

  “That's nice,” Lisa said. “I wish I could find that there.”

  Natalie laughed. “All you have to do is get caught out in a storm on a motorcycle with the man of your choice.”

  “Oh—you mean like wet T-shirts?” Lisa asked dubiously.

  Nathan laughed. “That would surely do it, for you. No offense.”

  ?

  “No offense to whom?” Natalie asked.

  They all laughed. It was obvious that nice as Natalie might be, her strength was not in her T-shirt.

  “Seriously,” Natalie said after a moment. “If you have a man in mind, the key is getting with him and doing things.”

  “Every boy I date wants to do things,” Lisa said, frowning. “Because I'm—” She hesitated to continue.

  “Because you're one strikingly lovely girl,” Natalie said. “I see the problem.”

  “But I don't have a man, anyway,” Lisa said. “Though—” again she hesitated.

  “Oh, you do have a prospect?” Natalie inquired. “We have a long drive, and romance is always interesting. Will you tell us about it?”

  Lisa mulled the matter over, uncertain whether to let others know her concern. But she did need some advice. “No, not a prospect. Trouble, maybe.”

  “That's even more interesting,” Nathan said. “Someone's stalking you?”

  “No, I don't think so. Just—I don't know.”

  “There's no need to talk about it if you prefer not to,” Natalie said. “We don't mean to pry.”

  “It's not that. It—he's—maybe I'm imagining things.”

  “I doubt it,” Nathan said. “A man who looks at you is bound to have notions.”

  “Really?” Natalie inquired. “Maybe you had better stop looking at her, then.”

  Nathan winked at Lisa. “She's a jealous creature,” he confided.

  “Oh, I don't want to make any trouble!” Lisa protested.

  “Lisa, we're joking,” Natalie said. “We're newly in love, and just overflowing with it. I think it's the kind of love your brother and Kalinda had. They showed me how it was, and then I found it for myself. Don't take our games seriously; you'll be sick of them by the time this trip is done.”

  Oh. They were indeed acting much the way Garth and Kalinda had. “It must be nice.”

  “Very nice,” Nathan agreed.

  “Well, maybe you can help me. There's this older man, and I—I think he likes me, maybe. I don't know what to do.”

  “If he bothers you, call me in my official capacity,” Natalie said. “We don't have to tolerate any stalkers here in Newfoundland.”

  “No, he's very polite. And he's never actually said anything, or acted fresh. So maybe it's nothing. He's a responsible person. I'm sure he wouldn't—do anything bad.”

  “That depends,” Natalie said. “If he's staring at you, making you uncomfortable, it could lead to worse. A man's position means nothing; a judge can harass women. We've had cases—”

  “No, no, nothing like that. I think if I just told him to go away, he would. But—” She lost her way again.

  “But you're intrigued,” Natalie said wisely.

  “I guess—maybe. I mean, he's an important person, I think, and strong, very strong. So I can't think why he would even notice me.”

  “I would tell you why, but this jealous female would put me out of the car,” Nathan said. “So just take my word, Lisa, that there's no particular mystery there. The questions are the extent of his interest, and your reaction to it. Do you like him?”

  “I'm not sure. I would have said no, never, because there are things about him that are pretty weird. But then he helped me in the store, and I appreciated that, and then he left, and when I got to thinking about it, I started wondering. It's just a feeling that sort of grew on me. Can a man be interested in a girl, and not give any sign?”

  “Yes,” Nathan and Natalie said together.

  “But why? Why not either say something, or go away?”

  “I can readily answer that,” Nathan said. “Because he may like her, but be afraid she will reject him if he gives any sign.”

  “And sometimes she feels the same way,” Natalie added.

  “But I'm nothing at all, and he's a fishery officer—”

  “Oh my God,” Nathan said. “You're not speaking of Elmo Samules, Martha's brother?”

  “Yes,” she said, abashed. “How did you know?”

  “I was with him when we discovered your brother's boat. I remember his hands. That's what bothers you, isn't it?”

  “Yes. Of course I'm used to it, with Martha, and the teeth. I know they're just the way they are. I mean, they're not monsters or anything. But still, the idea of those hands touching me, or kissing—”

  Nathan and Natalie exchanged a glance. “We see the problem,” Natalie said.

  “But you know, Elmo is a good man,” Nathan said. “He's not the way his sister is; she's maybe a bit twisted.”

  “A bit twisted?” Natalie asked. “You should have seen the scene she made in the restaurant!”

  “She does get sort of mean, sometimes,” Lisa agreed. “But she's never actually done anything to me, just made me feel real uncomfortable. I think she doesn't much like people. Any people. But she treats them fair, and she does love the fish. She spends a whole lot of time in her lab, making new fish or something. She can do some really weird things with sea creatures. But Elmo doesn't seem to be like that.”

  “He isn't,” Nathan agreed.

  “What would Martha do, if her brother took an interest in you?” Natalie asked.

  “Oh, she'd fire me, for sure. I think he's the only person she likes, though she fights with him too.”

  “So if he likes you, he wouldn't want to get you fired,” Nathan said.

  “I suppose. But I don't know that he likes me. It's just a feeling.”

  “You're in doubt because he is perhaps twice your age, and well established,” Nathan said. “And because he is careful not to show anything.”

  “Yes.”

  “What kind of reaction do you suppose he gets from other women?” Natalie asked.

  “Oh, they wouldn't like him. Because—you know.”

  “So it's not surprising he figures you wouldn't like him either,” Natalie continued. “His course is entirely understandable. The question is, what about yours?”

  “My course?” Lisa asked, baffled.

  “When I got interested in a man, I asked him out,” Natalie said. “I think in retrospect that was a good decision.”

  “But I couldn't—I mean I don't think I even like him. I just don't know what to think.”

  “Let's look at this logically,” Nathan said. “Forget about his age; men often are interested in younger women, and it often works out if other factors align. Let's assume that he likes you, and if you smiled at him he'd float away on a cloud of bliss. That he'd marry you, if you were willing. In that case you hardly need to worry about your job; he's got a good one. You would never need to see Martha again, so her ire wouldn't mean much.”

  “Though Martha might simply be wary because she doesn't want to see her brother hurt,” Natalie said. “She might change her mind if you married him. Did you resent Kalinda?”

  “No! Never!”

  “So the consequences aren't necessarily bad,” Nathan continued relentlessly. “The question is whether you can see any of that happening. Could you learn to live with his hands and teeth, for the sake of love and security?”

  Lisa hadn't thought of it that way. If such a man were actually within reach, and he really did love her
, and marriage was possible, would she be able to ignore the hands? She pondered the matter carefully, and from her depths the answer welled up: “No. Those hands—they freak me out.”

  Nathan nodded. “Then I think you have your answer. Avoid him, or tell him to go away, and it will be over. Just as long as you know your own will.”

  “Yes, I guess.” She saw that it did make sense. She didn't need to worry about how Elmo might feel, if there was no chance for a relationship anyway. She was a little sorry about it, because she realized that it wasn't his fault, but that was just the way it was. “Thanks.”

  “We aim to provide your money's worth,” Nathan said, smiling. “We specialize in only the best quality romantic advice.”

  “We being sudden experts in the subject,” Natalie said. “Having both failed in marriage before, we figure we know exactly what to avoid.”

  “We have an avoidance relationship,” Nathan agreed. He leaned over and kissed her right ear. Lisa thought again of Garth and Kalinda. How nice it must be!

  They rode in silence for a time. Then Natalie spoke. “Come By Chance.”

  Nathan peered out the window. “It looks less romantic in sunlight.”

  “We could close up the window and turn on the shower to sound like rain,” Natalie said.

  “Yes! Let's do that.”

  “Not now,” she said, laughing. “We're on business. And what would Lisa do, meanwhile?”

  “We could put her in the shower.”

  Lisa kept her mouth shut, not entirely comfortable with this banter.

  Natalie reached out to punch his shoulder. “You'd like that, wouldn't you! One woman in bed, and a backup in the shower.”

  “One is all I could handle, I fear.”

  “So you'd go to the shower?”

  He glanced back. “We'd better stop. I think someone's blushing.”

  Natalie glanced back herself. “Make a note, Lisa: when you're that sure of your man, you'll know its love.”

  “OK,” Lisa said, wishing she could stifle her flush.

  They passed through Come By Chance and Sunnyside and moved on north toward Clarenville and Shoal Harbor. “These are like the places of dreams,” Nathan remarked.