Neck-Deep In It: A LitRPG and GameLit Series.

by Jason Cheek

  “What the fuck are these noobs going on about?” Hefe asked AJ with a laugh, as Krystal and Jill traded disturbed glances with Kenzie at the sudden change that had come over their new allies.

  Even though the last day of combat should’ve been warning enough, for most people, it was hard to look at someone differently after mentally assigning them into a group. In this case, most of the alliance still thought of the Uten Syn members as little more than helpless noobs. Though, I had a feeling that was quickly going to start changing as a hard look came to Krishna’s face.

  “My Wardens and I can effectively fight while double mounted and our Druids can move faster than any of your mounts,” Krishna stated in a no-nonsense tone as AJ and Hefe looked at the Moon Elf in surprise. “Besides,” the Uten Syn Guild Leader proudly said, “what do you think we’ve been doing while the rest of you have been standing around with your hands in your pockets.”

  “Did Krishna just smack talk us back?” AJ asked Hefe in an amused tone, holding a fist out to the Warden in respect. as the Gnome Barbarian tried to pump himself up.

  “Oh, no he di'int!” Hefe said, puffing his chest out to look tough. While that would’ve worked in his real-life body, it did nothing of the sort for his Gnome Barbarian, especially not while basically sitting in Bonnie Smash’s lap.

  “Maybe, it would be best if we moved out as an entire raid,” Thomas diplomatically said, surveying the situation around us with a critical eye. Although, the sound of his voice was nearly drowned out by the whipping wind of the fiery shots passing over our heads.

  “Just be ready to move the fuck out,” I gritted out through clenched teeth, as I felt more than saw Neysa sidled up beside me, “when I drop this spell.”

  “What’s he doing anyway?” Kenzie asked in raid chat as I cast my Amplify Damage spell and a wave of purplish-black magic shot out of my spread arms.

  “Getting us some phat XP,” Angie excitedly roared, as everyone’s eyes turned to see the purplish-black haze that instantly covered a huge swath of the advancing ranks of Orcs.

  I’d timed the spell just right. It had just enough time to spread out to the maximum range I could push the spell as the flaming shots impacted in a wave of destruction that thew debris and chunks of Orcs high into the air. Not that I saw much of the results as my knees crumpled when my mana dropped twenty-five hundred points. If not for Phoenix supporting me around the waist with an arm, I would’ve hit the ground hard.

  My face was momentarily buried in Neysa’s plush fur as my friend swung me around onto the Silver Dire Wolf’s back. My girl must have laid down on her stomach, or I wouldn’t have been able to pull my leg over her back. I felt Phoenix urgently pushing me in place as a number of voices began shouting out commands as the familiar sounds of battle came to my ears.

  For the record, draining your mana to almost nothing truly sucked, I thought, as I momentarily debated emptying my guts out. Somehow, I managed to keep the contents of my stomach down as Phoenix screamed at me over the sounds of Homing Zap being launched at the enemy asking if I was good to go. Weakly waving her away, I muttered an assurance that I was fine as I managed to push myself up into a sitting position with my head reeling.

  When I got a chance to look around at what was going on, I saw that Thomas and AJ were working together to lead the raid away from the fight, while everyone with a ranged attack was blasting at the wall of Orcs that were trying to swing around to cut us off. Behind us, the Heavy Cavalry was already crashing into the injured Orcs and slaughtering everything in their path as the Scouts began pulling back in groups.

  I was somewhat surprised to see the Druids in their Umbra Hunter forms pacing to either side of Neysa, but it was obvious they’d taken up the guard position to keep me safe until I recovered. At least, that’s how it looked to me as Lyeneru gave me a wink. Seeing that we were going to make it past the Orcs without too much of a problem, I breathed a sign of relief.

  This was going to be a long day, I grimly thought, focusing on letting my mana recover as the battle raged on around us.

  Chapter Nine

  (Orion Prakoli and Minny on the Sulfur Plateau in the Plains of Atoll.)

  “I’m so dead … I’m so dead … I’m so dead,” Orion repeatedly muttered under his breath while lying on his back and staring at the brightening sky, trying to understand how things had gotten to this point.

  In truth, it really wasn’t his fault. He’d done everything he could to keep Minny safe once they’d escaped the Dread Herd. Not that there had been anything to worry about once they’d made it to the outer edges of the Sulfur Plateau. While Orion truly believed that to be the case, he wasn’t about to take any chances that would put the Gnome woman’s life at risk just in case he was wrong. At least, not until he had a chance to figure out what the deal was with the Matriarch.

  With all that said, it wasn’t too long after they made it back to camp that the little Gnome had started in on him to get in some mining at the edges of the plateau. Not that he could particularly blame her. It wasn’t like there was anything else to particularly do while they waited around for everyone else to return. So, he was nonplussed when, three hours later, the persistent Gnome had managed to needle him into escorting her to do some mining at the outer edges of the sulfuric pools.

  Even though they hadn’t collected more than a handful of different nodes by the end of the day, to Orion’s surprise, the meaningful work ended up being quite enjoyable with Minny’s vivacious company. The Gnome woman’s bubbly personality was a joy to be around and made the whole experience surprisingly pleasant. If he was being completely honest, it was the most fun he’d had with a woman since his divorce. While most of the experienced gamers in the Devil Dogs dismissed the people of The World as being nothing more than well-scripted NPCs, Orion had been slowly coming to the realization that his guildmates had no idea what they were talking about. Each individual he’d gotten to know so far in The World had a depth to them that couldn’t be simply explained away as innovative programing.

  Take the Centauride Mystic Shaman, Naamro Xlantu, that he’d gotten to know shortly after coming to BrokenFang Hold. Minus his “spending the night” in her tent after a particularly bad and drunken bet, he’d enjoyed getting to know her over the last week, and not once had he felt like she was a limited or scripted personality. In his opinion, she was one savvy GILF that didn’t take any lip, Orion thought with a laugh, not that he’d ever been seriously interested in actually hitting that. Even so, as long as you ignored her horse-half, she was quite the looker if you were down with older women … err … Centaurides.

  Luckily for him, Naamro hadn't been offended with their drunken games. If anything, she’d seemed to enjoy the attention and just rolled with the smack talk from his friends about them being a couple. To his friends’ annoyance, the odd series of events had ultimately led to him acquiring a special teacher who’d helped him develop a unique new class. Nonetheless, if he heard Austin or Santaz say that he was “mmosexual” one more time, they were going to be taking a trip to the nearest graveyard.

  Interestingly enough, Orion suddenly realized, it had been right around that same time that Minny had started taking a liking to him. Not that he’d made that connection when they’d first started flirting with one another. At the time, it had all begun as a joke. At least, it had been for him. If he remembered correctly, the guys had been giving him shit about his evening with Naamro, when the Gnome woman had chimed in that she’d be curious in taking a ride with any man as cute as Orion that could satisfy a Centauride.

  That was the first time in Orion’s life that had seen either of his buddies rendered speechless. The fun hadn’t stopped there as Minny continued haranguing the pair of them for being overtly jealous about the “tool” that Orion was packing in his breeches. Best yet, the whole thing had gone down in the Great Room of BrokenFang Hold which had just made it all the better since the rest of the room had joined in on the fun.

  To say the
least, that was probably the unofficial start of this whole disaster, Orion sagely thought in retrospect, as the shapely and very naked Gnome woman momentarily shifted on his bare chest to snuggle closer. Letting out a deep sigh, he muttered under his breath once more, “Startum is so going to kill me.”

  It was such a simple mistake. How was Orion supposed to know what his avatar would do while he was Warm-Logged Out for the night? His reasoning to use the function was to ensure that Minny had someone to take care of her in case any wandering mobs found their camp during the night. Well, she was taken care of alright, Orion thought, mentally shaking his head at the double entendre. When he’d logged back into The World the next morning, he’d appeared in-game literally “balls deep” in Minny. Orion could only shake his head in embarrassment. The limited AI that had taken over his character obviously had more game than he’d ever had in real life.

  In theory, Orion could’ve stopped what was going down in that moment. In reality, that proved to be quite impossible. The proverbial train was already well on its way to the station. Though, that didn’t excuse the next three hours the two of them had spent humping and sweating together under the blankets, Orion conflictedly thought, chastising himself for his moment of weakness. Not that any of that stopped the shit-eating grin that came to his lips whenever he thought about how hot their time together had been.

  Orion didn’t know why he’d initially assumed the Gnome woman was little more than a child when he’d first met her. If anything, it had probably been an unconscious assumption based on her cheery disposition and diminutive size more than anything else. Definitely a major miscalculation on his part, Orion derisively snorted, recalling Minny’s firm and curvaceous body. Who would’ve thought the little Gnome was packing all of that under her clothing and armor? He’d quickly learned that an adult Gnome was an “ADULT Gnome” in every sense of the word. Orion suddenly froze when he felt the sexy female laying atop his chest immediately stir at the sound of his unconscious snort as any further contemplation on the subject was abruptly ended when a pair of intense green eyes met his own.

  “This was most definitely one of my better decisions Or-re,” Minny sultry said in her too high voice as a satisfied smile spread across her face.

  “Umm yeah,” Orion uncomfortably stuttered as he tried to get a handle on the situation, “I hope I didn’t promise anything permanent last night-”

  “What are you talking about Or-re,” Minny asked, as she threw her head back and let out one of her high-pitched laughs. “I said that I wanted to go for a ride, not form a life bond with you!” Wiping the tears from the corner of her eyes, she continued in a throaty tone, “I had to see if you were everything Naamro made you out to be.”

  “Whoa … whoa … whoa,” Orion protested, pushing the surprised Gnome off his chest as he hurriedly jumped to his bare feet. Not even taking notice of the numbingly cold ground, he held out his hands to deny what she was saying. “Look, I don’t know what all Naamro said, but we most definitely didn’t have any kind of intimate relations-”

  “Now you sound just like Star,” Minny amusingly said, letting out another one of her high-pitched laughs as his jaw dropped open in utter shock.

  For a long moment, Orion didn’t know what to say or think as he turned around to look out across the Plains of Atoll. His thoughts were in complete turmoil at the implications of what Minny was saying. Thinking back to the morning after, when he’d awoken in Naamro’s large yurt-like tent, she’d assured him that he’d done nothing inappropriate in his drunken stupor. Nothing inappropriate … those words reverberated in Orion’s mind like an echoing gong. If she’d invited his drunken ass into her tent to horse-around, his own innuendo nearly made him gag, then that meant he would’ve done nothing inappropriate as far as she was concerned.

  “No wonder she’d been being so nice,” Orion thought, pressing his fingertips against his eyelids as he breathed deeply.

  You’d have thought after all those drunken weekend adventures spent as a Marine that he would’ve learned his lesson by now. You know the one. Not to get drunk off his ass and invite strange women to bed. That, or to marry them. Yeah, that was how he’d met Rachael, his ex-wife. The woman who cheated on him with his best friend and got pregnant from that same asshole while he was deployed in the sandpit. At least, he couldn’t be forced to pay child support for a kid that wasn’t his own in an MMO.

  That thought alone helped Orion get his head straight. Even though that meant he’d most assuredly humped a Centauride, it really wasn’t all that different than going Rhino Hunting on the weekends with the guys from his squad. If anything, Naamro was a whole hell of a lot sexier than any woman he’d brought home on one of those nights. Besides, it wasn’t like he could get an unexpected surprise three months later in The World. That alone made this game worth its weight in gold. Besides, with the VA footing the bill for the pod, it wasn’t like he was out any money.

  Opening his eyes, Orion’s eyes automatically surveyed the horizon as he breathed easier. While he’d been doing his best to keep on the straight and narrow to get his life back on track, in truth, he’d missed getting laid. Even if keeping away from the drinks and the ladies was the best medicine for doing just that, all work and no play made Jack a dull boy, he thought, letting out an unconscious snort as his mind replayed the hot morning of bumping and grinding that he’d just shared with Minny.

  Maybe, he’d have to give Naamro another run when he was sober? As he dismissed that thought with a self-depreciating grin, Orion’s eyes suddenly caught movement on the Plains of Atoll. With his Eagle-Eye vision that the Centauride had helped him learn, it was no trouble bringing the large raid into focus that was heading in their direction.

  Curious, Orion silently thought, as he cracked his neck and stretched. It looked like Ashley and Killtet were able to get some extra help from the Valkyrie Guild. An interesting development considering all the head butting that had been going on between their two groups. Hopefully, that meant the constant infighting between them was at an end.

  It was also a sign that he needed to get moving. At least, it did if he wanted to get the meeting with the Matriarch over before everyone showed up. Maybe, he was being an idiot to trust a boss mob in an MMO-style game, but something inside Orion believed he was on the right track. Besides, if he was wrong about what he was about to do, there was no sense in having anyone else pay for his mistake. Also, if he were going to pull this off, it would be best if no accidents occurred between the Dread Herd and his fellow Marines who were no doubt still pissed the fuck off about being smoked. Before he could explain any of that to the sexy Gnome woman behind him, a resounding slap filled the air as his ass-cheek momentarily burned with pain.

  “Or-re, come back to the blankets,” a kneeling Minny throatily said, casually draping the thick Worg-hide around her delicate shoulders. It gaped open just enough for Orion to catch an eyeful of the treasures held within as she gave him a meaningful look. “I’m not finished with you yet.”

  “Sorry little mouse,” Orion regretfully said, as he knelt down in front of the sexy Gnome and gently cupped her cheek. “If I’m going to have a private chat with the Dread Herd’s Matriarch, then I need to get moving out before our friends arrive.”

  “They’re still a good two hours away,” Minny said in a less than happy tone, after looking around him to eye the approaching group.

  “Which is how long it’ll probably take for me to get to the center of the Sulfuric Springs and back,” Orion said, as a disgruntled Minny cut him off.

  “That’s only if this isn’t a trick to cut you down.”

  “Then it’s a good thing I’m a newfar,” Orion teasingly said, as his little friend scowled back at him. He’d learned the term over the last week and knew well that the people of The World used it as an insult to describe players. Though, in Minny’s case, she normally used it to describe those players that she felt were without honor or compassion.

  “You are NOT a new
far,” Minny indignantly said, before her face softened as she bit her lip and met his steady gaze. “Fine, then I’m coming too.”

  “I would’ve thought you’d cum enough this morning,” Orion joked as Minny gave him an incredulous slap in the chest. Unfazed, he suddenly turned serious as he reached out to take hold of her tiny hands. “Look, I believe the idea I have for getting a functional alliance between the Matriarch and BrokenFang Hold is doable, but at the same time, something in my heart says it’ll fall apart if the Dread Herd feels threatened. That’s why I have to go and do this now before everyone makes it back.”

  “I don’t like this,” Minny miserably said, as she looked deep into his blue eyes, “if you’re so confident that this is going to work, then I don’t see why I can’t come too.”

  “Because if I’m wrong, I can die and come back at the nearest graveyard,” Orion pointedly said, “you, on the other hand, can’t little mouse. On top of that, you know as well as I do that Startum would have my head if I let something bad happened to you.”

  “That’s not fair,” Minny said, dropping Orion’s hands as she stood up to pull the Worg-hide tighter about her shoulders. Rising to his feet beside her, Orion silently watched as the Gnome walked over to the edge of the rise that they were camped on to look down at their approaching allies. Letting out a heavy sigh, she spoke without turning around to face him. “You really don’t think they’ll let you enter the Sulfuric Springs alone to test out your idea?”

  “Not on your life,” Orion said in a heavy voice, as he came up behind Minny and gently gripped her shoulders, “Unless I have a solid alliance worked out ahead of time, they’ll be too focused on getting revenge than listening to reason.”

  Orion felt Minny’s shoulders tense at his words, but he’d learned long ago it was best to speak plainly then simply say what people wanted to hear. While you might be called an asshole at times, it made for less hurt feelings and misunderstandings in the long run. Though, he couldn’t hide the sigh of relief when he heard the Gnome woman’s next words.