Heart Waves

by Danielle Sibarium

  “I’ll see you later,” I called as I got up and headed for the door.

  Outside I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the fish and salt coming off the water in the bay. The sun looked brighter, and I felt immeasurably better than I had earlier. Seeing Reece’s car still parked along the curb, I jogged over to Mike’s house. I couldn’t wait to see him, to explain my behavior, or at the very least make up for it.

  I rang the bell and waited impatiently for someone to answer. Mike opened the door and invited me in. He shouted for Reece. A clean lemon scent filled the once stale smelling living room.

  “Wow. Impressive.” I said as I looked around, “How did you guys get this place looking so good?” I asked trying to make conversation.

  “Cleaning crew,” Mike snickered. “Got the house cleaned yesterday. Brandon bailed last night, Dale early this morning, so we didn’t have time to mess it all up again.”

  “I’m sure your parents will appreciate it. When will they be home?”

  “Late tonight or tomorrow.”

  Reece came down the steps carrying a large suitcase, the backpack with his computer, and another large duffle bag. “Looks like I got everything,” he said to Mike.

  “Are you leaving right now?” I asked.

  “Depends,” Reece answered, jaw tense.

  Mike excused himself, something about dirty dishes in the sink, and went into the other room.

  Reece dropped his bags on the floor, but didn’t make a move toward me.

  I didn’t hesitate. I threw my arms around him. I felt him release a breath and relax into it. I smiled. I knew he couldn’t see it, but I hoped he could feel it.

  “I’m sorry,” I looked up to see his reaction.

  He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “I’m not shutting you out. I’ve been feeling all dark and jumbled up lately. Very negative. So I tried something. And I feel a lot better.” I rambled on hoping to ease the tension some more, “I sort of got the idea from that book you picked out for me. I figured I had nothing to lose, and now I’m happy. And I know everything is going to be fine.” And if I kept telling myself that, I just might believe it.

  Chapter 26

  The next night Reece picked me up after dinner and drove me to his house. I offered to drive myself, but he insisted.

  “This way I know I’ll have time alone with you. If my brother’s home, he’ll probably follow you like a puppy dog.”

  I reached for his hand, “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were jealous,” I teased.

  “Of Aaron?” He asked as if the idea were outrageous. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “Just calling it like I see it.”

  He glanced in my direction, a look of mischief crossing his beautiful features. Reece cleared his throat.

  “I told Mike you were so grateful he left us alone to work things out yesterday, you were going to bake a batch of cookies for him.”

  I gasped horrified. “You did not!”

  His face lit with a smile.

  I gasped, “Why would you do that?”

  “Be honest,” he raised an eyebrow speculatively, “was your father telling the truth about your baking?”

  I closed my eyes, mortified his desire to make me feel good ran so deep, he’d be willing to sacrifice a friend.

  “Yes. I really wish you would’ve asked me before volunteering me to do that, Mike is probably expecting . . .””

  A wide smile crawled across Reece’s lips, “What better way to say thank you for all his dating help?”

  It took me about ten seconds for his meaning to penetrate my thick skull, before I threw my head back and laughed out loud.

  * * *

  Aaron lay sprawled out on the couch in the family room watching a baseball game on television. Reece led me over to the love seat perpendicular to his brother.

  Aaron looked at us, a serious look on his face, and shook his head. “Watch it, bro,” he warned, “she’s on the war path.”

  “Why?” Reece asked looking perplexed.

  “Duh. Cause you left.” Aaron explained pushing himself up into a sitting position. “You knew she wanted to talk to you. You can’t avoid it forever.”

  “Reece, is that you?” Diane called from the other room. “I told you at dinner I wanted to speak with you.” The volume of her voice continued to rise until she found us together on the love seat.

  Although she plastered a smile on her face when she spotted me, she didn’t at all look happy. Her eyes looked cold and angry. I wished I hadn’t come. While Reece tried to play along like everything was fine and hide his discomfort, I felt it. His body stiffened and oozed tension at the sight of his mother.

  “Hello Jenna, it’s nice to see you,” Diane said, her lips pressing into a straight line when she looked over at her son.

  “Thank you,” I answered, unsure of what more to say.

  “You don’t mind if I speak with Reece for a couple of minutes in the other room do you?” She asked widening her smile a bit.

  I shook my head.

  Reece didn’t hesitate. He stood and looked down at me, “I’ll be back in five minutes.” He gave my hand a squeeze and left with his mother.

  “She doesn’t look happy.” I said to Aaron trying to make small talk.

  “She’s not.” He answered big a smirk on his face, knowing full well I wanted to know what was going on.

  I didn’t need to wonder too much longer. Raised voices carried from the study in back of the house, where they disappeared.

  “How can I, Reece, if you plan on spending every waking minute with her?” Reece’s mother asked annoyed.

  “She’s upset I’m here?” I asked Aaron, hoping a chat with him would help me not listen to any more of their not so private conversation.

  He shook his head. “She’ll make it about you, but really it’s just the whole law school thing. They expected him to change his mind.”

  “Why? Reece had to give them some reason to think that.”

  Aaron rolled his eyes. “Do you guys do anything besides fool around?” He asked.

  I felt my face fill with color. “We don’t fool around.” He looked at me with a raised an eyebrow. “A lot,” I qualified throwing a pillow at him.

  “Then what do you do? Because you don’t talk a lot either.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  He tilted his head to the side and smirked. “Let’s see, you didn’t know they’ve been pressuring him since he’s like five to be a lawyer.”

  “True.”

  “So I’m guessing he didn’t tell you about the agreement.”

  I shook my head unable to recall any mention of an agreement.

  “My parents let him spend the summer at Mike’s only if he would seriously consider quitting his job and working for Dad at the firm, which in their heads was a done deal.”

  I shook my head, “But I don’t think he wants to do that.”

  “Of course he doesn’t, that’s the problem.”

  “They are not the people you think they are Reece,” his mother’s voice carried again, “And I want to you as far away from them as possible!”

  My stomach ached hearing her words. Remembering my parent’s initial reaction to Reece, I wondered if her warning referred to me and my family.

  “Tyler and I barely even tolerate each other these days,” Reece answered back just as loud. “And I like working there.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief knowing “those people,” weren’t my people.

  “You don’t know how serious this it Reece. Or the consequences you’ll suffer for the choices you’re making.”

  I didn’t understand the turn of the conversation. I wondered what she could be referring to.

  “I did what I did on my own. It was my decision. Mine.” I could hear anger burning in his voice. “They had nothing to do with it. They didn’t even know.”

  “They didn’t help you either. They didn’t defen
d you. If not for your father you would be in jail right now!”

  Silence.

  Like the last few minutes hadn’t happened at all. Certain I couldn’t have heard right I looked at Aaron. His eyes darted away from me immediately. I noticed the hard line of his now tense jaw, how his eyes remained glued to the television, clearly he didn’t want me to ask any questions.

  “Aaron?”

  He looked at me with wide fearful eyes. “You have to ask my brother.”

  I got up and moved next to him on the couch hoping I could coax him through proximity.

  “C’mon Aaron, I won’t tell him you told me.”

  He shook his head, “No deal. You need to hear it from him. Besides, it’s not as bad as it sounds.”

  I looked at him disbelieving. All sorts of scenarios ran through my mind.

  “It’s not that bad. Really.” Aaron assured me.

  Reece returned within minutes. I’d been watching the clock. Only two minutes passed since the conversation went mute and Reece returned, but it felt like two hours. Diane didn’t come near this side of the house.

  I noticed the telling look of Aaron’s eyes. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought Reece could read minds. I noticed a slight nod of his head at his brother, before he turned his attention back to me.

  “I’m sorry Jenna. Mom’s not as welcoming as she usually is.”

  “It’s fine,” I answered in a small voice.

  He shook his head. “It’s really not. Let’s get out of here.”

  I felt quite relieved at his suggestion, and got to my feet at once.

  “See you, Aaron.”

  He held his hand up, “Nice seeing you, Jenna.”

  Chapter 27

  The tires squealed as Reece peeled out of the driveway and sped off. Exasperated and vexed, pessimism and negativity radiated off him. It made me uneasy. I’d never seen Reece anything but calm and poised. Even the night on the boardwalk, when I feared he might get into a fight with the drunk guy, he stood his ground with confidence.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  He muttered a response under his breath, nothing I could make out. I reached over and placed my hand on his leg. The second we touched I withdrew my hand quickly. It felt like I’d just been stung by fifty bees. I shivered. I couldn’t bear it. He held so much rage and sadness, feelings of betrayal inside him.

  I recognized this feeling. I felt it yesterday at breakfast when I overreacted. I remember how wonderful I felt, almost euphoric at how well everyone got along, and the promise of how wonderful things could be for Reece and me. Without warning everything changed.

  I felt black. Like the darkness wanted to suffocate me and drag me away. I thought it stemmed from losing myself in Reece, becoming that whiny, clingy girl I despised so much. Now that seemed ridiculous.

  I’d been next to Reece when it began. It couldn’t be. I’d heard of empaths, people who could literally feel other people’s emotions. I wasn’t an empath. My abilities were limited at best. I never experienced anything empathic before.

  Except with Reece.

  At times when we touched or kissed, I knew exactly what he felt. Could yesterday have been an empathic premonition? Did such things even exist?

  I found myself so lost in thought I didn’t notice how fast Reece zipped through the twists and turns of the curvy road. Feeling the need to pull and push my body in order to remain upward as we rounded the bends in the road, I realized we traveled much faster than we should have. My eyes crossed over the dashboard to the speedometer. I almost chocked.

  “Slow down!” I ordered. I gripped the door with one hand, the armrest with the other, as if that gave me some ounce of control.

  Reece glared at me.

  “Don’t look at me. Keep your eyes on the road!” I ordered.

  He took a long breath, “So you’re afraid of me now?” I’d never seen anger dominate and distort his features.

  I shook my head and kept my voice as calm as possible. “Of course not. But I am afraid of the way you’re driving.”

  He glanced at me with narrowed eyes and shook his head, “Don’t lie, Jenna.”

  I put my hand back on his leg, this time knowing what to expect and able to handle the flow of emotion from him. I felt eternally grateful he had no idea the crazy thoughts running through my mind.

  “Let’s just park somewhere and talk, go for a walk. Whatever you want.”

  Reece raked his hand through his hair, slowing the car to a more reasonable speed. He glanced over at me, his eyes almost back to the steady calm I’d known.

  “I’m sorry,” he hesitated and I wondered exactly what he apologized for. “My mother isn’t usually so rude.” His lips pressed together into a thin line. “I don’t know what the hell she was thinking.”

  “Fair’s fair. My parents humiliated me in front of you, it’s only right you should have to suffer too,” I tried to lighten his mood.

  I surprised myself at how casually I could go on pretending I didn’t have a million questions. I needed to focus on keeping him composed so we’d stay alive for me to ask those questions.

  Reece turned the car into an empty lot, leading to a playground. He parked in a dark corner surrounded by trees, and sat unmoving.

  “You heard everything,” he stated, looking straight ahead, waiting for confirmation.

  “Just pieces,” I shook my head. “Not everything.”

  He opened his door and got out of the car. Without waiting for me, he headed for a bench in the playground area. I followed close behind. I felt uneasy being there with nothing more than the full moon and stars illuminating the area.

  “Aaron fill you in?” he asked more nervous than I expected.

  I shook my head. “Not really. He said I needed to hear it from you.”

  “I can only imagine what you’re thinking,” he said looking off in the distance.

  I leaned forward and clasped my hands around his neck, causing him to look at me. I swung my legs across his and kissed his lips. I understood what a difficult time he had talking about matters close to his heart and I wanted to ease his tension.

  “I’m thinking,” I said as he rested his forehead against mine. “You’re still you. And I love you no matter what.”

  “I messed up, Jenna.” He almost choked on his words. “I gave my mother something to hold over my head, and she plans to use it for all it’s worth.”

  “How can I help?” I asked.

  He shook his head, then after a few seconds, “Run away with me.”

  I knew he meant it as a joke, had to mean it as a joke. But there was something very serious in his eyes at that moment.

  “That always makes things better,” I attempted to joke with him.

  “It might.” He looked off again. “My friend Tyler, we were best friends since second grade. We were like brothers, always did everything together.” He hesitated, probably figuring out where to go from there. “He lived a few blocks away from us. Our parents were all close too.”

  I remembered Tyler and his family were the people his mother warned against. I didn’t say anything but gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

  “At the beginning of our junior year of high school, we found out his mother had advanced endometrial cancer.” His voice held a note of sympathy. I knew his story didn’t have a happy ending. Poor Tyler.

  “That sounds terrible.”

  He nodded. “Even though she wasn’t my mother, she meant a lot to me too.” He looked down embracing a memory. “She was a hell of lot more understanding than my mother. She didn’t freak out if we broke an expensive lamp or stayed out past curfew. She wasn’t a push-over either, always knew when we were lying or trying to get away with something.”

  “Let me guess, you spent most of your time there.”

  He nodded.

  “It was supposed to be a hysterectomy and then chemo or radiation, just as a precaution, and life goes on healthy and cancer free.”

  Reece gent
ly moved my legs from his lap out in front of me. He leaned over, his elbows resting on his knees, head between his hands.

  “In two months she was gone.”

  I rubbed his back understanding he found the loss of his friend’s mother a loss of his own as well. I doubted anyone understood how deep that hurt stung.

  “Tyler lost it. It’s like everything about him changed. And who could blame him right? At least that’s the way I saw it.”

  I nodded.

  “By the end of our junior year his father started dating again. Tyler wanted to kill him. Literally.” He paused a moment, seeming to regain control of his own anger. “He obsessed about it, plotting ways he could do it and not get caught.”

  “You can’t really blame him for being upset.”

  Reece shook his head. “We were all really surprised. But every part of Tyler’s life suffered after his mom died. He got into fights at school, at baseball practice, everywhere he went. He couldn’t focus at all. His grades took a really big hit. And his father was so caught up in living his own life he didn’t see any of it.”

  “How did Tyler get through the day?” I couldn’t imagine losing one of my parents. No matter how much my mother tried to control things or tell me everything I did was wrong, I wanted her around.

  “He spent a lot of time with us. My parents did their best to help, but it’s not the same. And then he wasn’t going to graduate. He managed to maintain C’s in everything but English and Social Studies.”

  Reece stood, looking tense and stiff as he went on, increasing the distance between us. I knew Aaron told me the truth. It really wasn’t that bad. Whatever he did, he did it to help his poor, suffering friend. My heart ached for him.

  “I hacked into the school’s computer system and changed his grades from F’s to C’s.” Reece looked off into the distance, his eyes evading mine. “It’s not like I was trying to get him into Princeton or anything, but he had no one to help him, no way to get back on track. I knew if he didn’t graduate he would’ve dropped out. That would have been wrong.” He sounded like he was pleading a well thought case.