Losing You: a prequel to It's Not Over

by Melissa M. Marlow

  Yes, it’s warm, filling, and oddly good to me. His movements became faster as he moaned more. The tingling started in my toes and I gripped him tightly, but his release filled me as his body fell onto mine resting there. His face came to my neck as he kissed, licked, and sucked. I laid there realizing he’s done. I traced my hands up and down his back wanting him to move to me more. His lips came to my ear, “You didn’t come again did you?”

  I smiled and turned my face to kiss him, “It’s good.”

  He laughed with a sigh, “It’s not supposed to be good.”

  I grinned as his face came to mine and he moved a little. I raised my eyebrows as he slipped away from me. We both giggled and kissed more as his body move to mine again. His kisses still filled with need as our mouths moved together. The tingling came back as he swelled inside of me. I had to quit kissing him to breath and his hands came to my face to hold me to look at him as he stroked deeper and deeper. The slower and deeper he went the tingling sensation increased. I gasped and moaned a little. The sound surprised me that it came from me and I closed my eyes with embarrassment. His lips pressed against mine, “There, Jess.” diving deep hitting an area inside me that ignited with each stroke. His rhythm easy to follow only increased my longing to have him in every way. I nodded and gasped again. Oh shit that noise escaped from chest this time. His smile grazed my face as he concentrated more on moving the way that was making me moan in ecstasy. Seeing the creases in his forehead grew with his concentration as he moved to me more determined.

  It became too intense, “Paul, stop.”

  He stopped pushing so hard but didn’t stop moving that way and I held my breath.

  Gasping in between long torturous thrusts he blurted, “Are you okay?”

  Something seemed to be happening to my body which I couldn’t stop so I nodded and shivered. He went back to moving to me smiling as he stared into my eyes, “Jess, it’s supposed to be like this.”

  When he pushed into me so slowly my body took over rising to meet him, tilting in a way that gave him deeper access to my core. Each movement we made complimented each other as if our bodies took over craving more. The mixed emotions over whelmed us as the tingling moved up my body and festered in my stomach. It’s like swinging when you close your eyes and tip back to get that rush of tingling but only better because you had someone to share it with.

  Not being able to handle the pleasure tears filled my eyes his voice came deep and careful, “Jess, let it happen, please.”

  I closed my eyes allowing myself to love him without all the clutter. It became a different world to me as we moved together as one. My movements complimented his as I dug my fingers into his skin. I heard him moan and his body tensed even more. He gasped with every movement into me and I made noises that didn’t sound like me at all. He pushed hard to me and this amazing rush filled me causing me to erupt inside and scream out his name. I gasped for air as his movement slowed the pleasure complete. I came with him in me and it was better than I could ever imagine. It wasn’t that way the first time, but he didn’t stop until I shared that experience with him. I could do that every minute of every day if my body could handle it, only now I’m exhausted and my body limp and weary. If I tried to move it would tremble everywhere. His face rested next to mine his cheek caressing mine. The sensation of his smile glided against my face while whispering, “That is how you make love.”

  I moaned a yes and kissed his cheek. His mouth came back to mine as we kissed softly, playfully, and loving. His nose nudged mine while our lips consumed each other’s. This urge to cry took over causing me to lose it. I couldn’t stop the tears from coming and then a sob escaped me. After making love to the man I am madly in love with why would I cry like this? Our love is amazing and wonderful; I never imagined it could be so perfect. I put my arm over my face to hide my embarrassment. I didn’t want him to see me this way because I’m not sad at this moment. I am so happy that it filled my heart with everlasting joy.

  “Jess, why are you crying?”

  I yelled with my squeaky voice, “I don’t know.”

  He laughed slightly but then asked in a serious tone, “Did I hurt you?”

  I shook my head and gasped for more air. He moved to hover and I grabbed a hold of him to keep him here.

  “What do you want me to do?”

  I yelled again this time my voice cracked, “I don’t know.”

  He moved to my side a little and traced his fingers over my face, “You know I love you?”

  Still not being able to look at him I nodded.

  “Tell me what you are feeling?”

  Trembling with my tears I slowly got out, “Scared… Wonderful… Amazing… Happy… Confused.”

  “Confused?”

  “Yeah.”

  “About me?”

  Bellowing, “NO! Why I’m crying.”

  He laughed and pressed his lips to mine gently, “I heard this could happen.”

  I lowered my arm to peek at him pleadingly.

  “The first time; sometimes it’s so emotional when you love someone.”

  “Great, you could have warned me.”

  He laughed and kissed my face everywhere, “I love that you are like this. You love me almost as much as I love you.”

  Pushing him away I tried to roll away from him, but nodded to tell him I did love him as much as he loved me.

  Holding me preventing me from escaping his embrace he whispered in my ear, “I have to tell you something.”

  Pain seared my heart with fear. Did this turn him off? His hand gently pulled my face back to his gazing at me with the softest eyes, “Jess, remember when you wanted me to kiss you?”

  Regaining my sanity I nodded, but I sniffled trying to control my tears.

  “How you wanted me to be your first for everything?”

  I nodded again taking a huge gasp of air and but it came out with quick breaths in, “Yes?”

  “You are my first.”

  Staring into his eyes I couldn’t quite get what he said.

  “I have never been with anyone but you.”

  “But, you had lots of girlfriends?”

  He grinned, “Because I never wanted to do anything with any of them. You are my first for everything…” He shrugged his shoulders, “Except for kissing.”

  Still wondering what exactly did he mean, “So, you never did this before with anyone?”

  He shook his head as he pressed his lips to mine again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and then my legs. He pulled me close and rolled to his back with me laying on him. I moved down and laid my head on his chest. His kiss came to my head and the trace of his hand down my back comforted me.

  We must have laid there for a long time and I rolled from him grabbing the sheet to pull around me. He pulled back on them, “Hey.”

  I pulled harder and ran to the door.

  Reminding me he blurted out, “Matt is out there.”

  I laughed but still snuck into the bathroom. Pulling the sheet up to use the toilet the surprise came when I stood realizing the toilet filled with redness. With hands trembling I cleaning myself with toilet paper and water, trying to rid myself from the blood that came from me. I had no idea there would be so much from the first time. In a daze moving from the bathroom to his bedroom not knowing how or what I would say to him. As I got closer to him lying there naked, every part of his body ripped in muscles proving how perfect he is. I definitely did not compare. I sat down on the bed not saying a word. His arm wrapped around me and pulled me back to him. He traced his hand down my back lowering the sheet from me, “I wish you wouldn’t cover your body. You are the most beautiful person I know.”

  Not feeling very pretty right now I pushed him away. Evaluating the situation he scooted up against the headboard and reached to pull me to him. He cradled me against his chest, and I couldn’t refuse how amazing it felt to have his arms around me. Wrapping my arm around his waist and rested my head to his chest completely curled into him
.

  His chest rose slowly and sank as air escaped his chest when he asked, “What’s wrong?”

  A little embarrassed for yelling at him about this very thing a long time ago, it’s going to be a hard one to explain.

  “Remember that time in your truck when we were messing around.”

  The squeeze of his embrace came with a laugh as he said, “I remember lots of times when we messed around in my truck.”

  Frustrated I huffed, “The time I yelled at you because you fingered me.”

  He pressed his lips to the top of my head, “Yes. You thought I broke your cherry and you didn’t want to lose it to fingers.” Laughter escaped him as he remembered the scene.

  This didn’t make me happy, so I reached up pulling his face to look at me, “I didn’t”

  Laughter still filled his eyes, “Of course you didn’t”

  Raising my eyebrows hinting at the situation.

  “Oh…” He breathed out as the realization came to him. He pushed me forward, rearranged the pillows, gently laid me down on the bed. When I was all tucked in he laid next to me propping his head in his hand to gaze at me. His hand gently rubbed my stomach, “Are you in any pain?”

  More embarrassed than experiencing any pain I shook my head no. Closing my eyes his hand left my stomach only to touch my face gently as he traced the contours of it.

  Relaxing with his soft touch luring me into sleep I closed my eyes to enjoy the intimacy of his tenderness.

  8

  I woke to the most amazing sensation of a large tender hand tracing down my back and a warm breeze on my neck with the faintest touch to my ear. I didn’t move so that he would continue to touch me this way. The curve of his body against mine burned my skin. His chest pressed against my shoulder when he leaned over to kiss my back gently. Flipping his hand over; he ran his fingers down the middle of my back slowly. Once he got to my lower back his thumb moved back and forth across my lower back. Easing his touch I barely felt his hand against my skin as it skimmed over my butt causing a great big grin to fill my face. The hardness of his erection rubbed against me and a moan of need escaped his chest. As he touched me, running his hand down my leg, he pulled it up a little while his breathe became heavy. He moved to hover over me lowering his body so his shaft rubbed against my wet folds enticing me to wake from this perfect dream. When his mouth came to my shoulder blades he kept his mouth open as he traced my back gently gliding his lips over my skin. He rubbed against me again and my craving to have him in me increased. Caving to that need I rolled over facing him. The grin on his face grew showing those dimples that lured me to his face. Reaching for him when he decided to move away from me I gave him the pout. Scooping up the rose petals he tossed them in the air allowing them to fall all over. As his eyes roamed over my body his thoughts showed on his face with that crooked mischievous grin appearing on his perfect mouth. Working his way up my body slowly blowing the petals away from my skin he placed butterfly kisses to my body inch by inch. Twisting, turning, curving, and arching, my body craved the attention. It was the tip of his tongue to my abdomen that made me squeak out my pleasure. My toes tingled, my core wet and ready, all he had to do would be to slide into me, but he didn’t. He sat back on his heals admiring the sight laid out in front of him. I am putty in his hands.

  His fingers and hands wrapped around my wrists as he pulled me up into his lap, until his arm wrapped around my waist holding me to him. Lost in the depths of his eyes as they lingered on mine I’d agree to do anything he wanted right now all he’d have to do is ask. My legs wrapped around his waist as I waited for the new experience he’d bring me.

  Pressing his forehead to mine he breathed in deeply let out the words with the release of his lungs, “I have never wanted anyone or anything more than you at this very moment.” Reaching around his neck to pull him closer to me even one inch between us is too far apart. Holding me away from him for a moment, with his strong arms he slid into my sweet spot with ease. Wetness of his mouth attacked my breasts licking sucking and nipping himself into a frenzy as his body rocked into mine. His thrust came deeper, harder than I expected. When his eyes fell on mine I wasn’t surprised how dark they had become. Possession of greed filled him as his body rocked eagerly to me. Too fast for me or my liking I whispered, “Slower.”

  Instant conflict filled his face. My needs verse his. The conflict showed on his face. Gliding my hands down his back I noticed every muscle tensed at my touch as he slowed down his movements for me. The strength in his arms held me while the slowness of his invasion reached the spot of sensation I needed and wanted. Allowing myself to get lost a deep moan came from deep within me without my control. The intensity of his thrusts increased again, but it caused the loss of the pleasure I’m so close to having. This time I ordered him, “Slower!”

  A growl escaped him, “Jess, I can’t.” His body moved faster again. I kissed everywhere and mouthed to him, “Oh, Paul. Please slower.”

  I tried to kiss him he turned his head to concentrate on his movements, everyone thrust straining his body beyond any pleasure. So close to release, another gasping moan came from me, and he moved even slower. Pulling almost all the way out and slowly inserting until he hit my inner core. After the fifth or sixth time he spoke into my ear, “Come on baby. I need you to come, NOW!”

  His demand triggered my body to respond gasping out, “Yes, Paul. Oh yes. Oh Paul. Yes.” Craving this new pleasure I wanted more. Releasing Paul from agony I begged, “Paul, harder!”

  Holding me tighter to his body every muscle bulging he gasped into my ear, “You sure?”

  I wanted him hard and fast my need out weighting my thoughts, “Yes.”

  His smile pressed against my cheek still not giving me what I wanted he replied, “You’re positive?”

  “YES.”

  My body already in motion to be pressed against the bed before I got the full word out, and yes is a short word. My legs propped over his biceps tipping my body up to him. The position a little uncomfortable until he circled his hips with each trust causing his hardness to stroke things within me I had no idea they existed. Yelling out in bliss, “Yes baby!” seemed to encourage him more. In with a swerve of his hips, and retreat that left me wanting more, the deep dive into me and the speed all too much at one time. Fisting my hands in the sheets was all I could do to hold on to my sanity. Lost in the intensity of it all; Paul glorious in his demands, “That’s it baby. Come for me again. Come for me hard!” When I opened my eyes again the triumph showed on his face; the proudness of giving me pleasure evident as he ground into me deeply and thoroughly. Leaning down to kiss me he spoke into my mouth, “That’s it baby. Tell me how much you like it.”

  Heat sprayed into me as I screamed out Paul’s name over and over again until I had nothing left to say. He’s a god in bed and he is mine to have.

  When he rolled over so fast I thought something was wrong. He released his hold on my legs and my body rested on his with the warmth of him still lodged between my legs. I was afraid to move, because if he wasn’t in me I would be empty. We fell back to sleep in each other’s arms.

  I woke and kissed him where my mouth had been resting on him. His chest so beautifully cut and I loved to touch every curve of his body. He sighed, “I am starving.”

  Laughing I reminded him, “I told you to bring food.”

  “I didn’t think we would stay in here this long.”

  I crawled over top of him, “We have been waiting a long time for this.”

  He smiled and traced his hands up my sides pulling me to him, “Was it worth the wait?”

  Kissing him softly, and then I rolled my eyes gesturing that I had to think about it. His irritation that I didn’t reply right away boiled over as he grabbed me and rolled over on top of me, “Are you teasing me?”

  “Yes, Paul. You were worth the wait.” I kissed his cheek, “Am I?”

  His kiss came hard and passionate as he mouthed to me, “Oh, yes…yes…yes.”<
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  I laughed and pushed him away, “Food, Paul. I am hungry.”

  He laughed and traced his hand against me, “You want more?”

  “No, and I am sore so no more of that today.”

  He frowned at me, “Really?”

  Nodding with my response, “Yeah, really sore now.”

  He laughed, “Wow. I didn’t realize you’d get sore.”

  I touched his penis, “You’re not?”

  He pulled away, “Yeah, but that is because I do all the work.”

  I pushed him away and he grabbed his boxers trying to slide them on and almost fell over but grabbed the bed just in time. I laughed at him grabbing the sheets pulling them over me. He crawled back up to me, “Jess, one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  He grinned and bit my lip, “Don’t freak out but we are getting married.”

  I put my hand on his face and pushed him away. He laughed and went out of the room but taking one last glimpse at me.

  I rolled over curling up with a pillow and admiring the ring that’s on my finger, torn between smiling and the sadness. Would he understand that I have no choice, and would he wait for me? I do love him and I want to marry this beautiful, hunky, muscular man.

  Would it be easier if he thought I didn’t love him? Would he be able to breathe if I convinced him it’s completely over this time? No matter what I would do he’s going to get hurt and I love him so much.

  “Jess, are you sleeping?”

  Turning to watch him walk back into the bedroom his face full of concern; I must have let the sadness take over. He moved to the bed with a tray of food, but stared at my eyes with wonder. It took everything in me to give him a little smile as I thought about being away from him in less than 18 hours. He set the tray down on the night stand and crawled over to me, “Jess, don’t do this. Don’t be scared. Please, just trust that I love you and we won’t plan anything for a year.”

  I touched his face as the tears in my eyes leaked out. I gave him a better smile this time, but his loss of understanding left him speechless.