The Gamble

by Alice Ward

  She raised her eyebrows expectantly. “Well, are you ready?”

  “I am.” I snuggled closer to her, pleased beyond measure at how lucid she was. “I actually spoke to Amanda, the gallery owner, this morning and got all the details squared away. She said people are really excited to see my new work.”

  “That’s wonderful!” she gushed. “It’ll be fantastic. I know it.”

  “I hope so,” I said with a sigh. “I’ve been working really hard, painting nonstop. This show will be almost entirely new pieces.”

  She patted my hand. “That’s great. I know your art makes you happy, honey.”

  I traced a figure eight over the soft skin of her palm. “It’s my calling. I think I’d go crazy if I didn’t paint.”

  “Craziness does run in our family,” she said with a wink. I barked out a laugh, surprised at her words, but she chuckled to let me know she was kidding.

  “Very funny, Mom,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

  “I thought it was.” She shrugged.

  Just then, the doorbell rang. It was the pizza. I jumped up and opened the door. After I paid, I went into the kitchen to grab a couple plates and some napkins. I carried the pizza and everything else into the living room and laid it on the coffee table. My mom wasted no time. She grabbed two slices of pizza and ate them both before I’d even finished my first.

  “Hungry?” I teased. She just nodded and grabbed a third piece. I laughed at first, but then my concern began to creep in. I wondered if she’d been eating. Without telling her why, I disappeared into the kitchen to check the fridge.

  When I opened it, I saw that three of the five meals I made her were still there. She’d eaten, but not much. A pit formed in my stomach, and I immediately hated myself for not checking in more often. If she wasn’t eating well, it was my fault. Even with my arrangement with Talen, I couldn’t let my mother’s care slip. I was all she had.

  “What are you doing in there?” my mother called.

  “Just getting a drink!” I called back, trying to keep my voice even. I grabbed two sodas from the fridge and hurried back into the living room.

  When I sat down, she turned to face me with a smile. I smiled back, but I wasn’t sure it was believable. I still felt guilty for not stopping by every day.

  “Will Perry make it to your show?” she asked after taking another bite.

  My heart fell. “Um, no, he won’t. We broke up, Mom. Remember?”

  “You did?” she asked, her face a picture of surprise.

  Tears burned my eyes. “Yeah. A little while ago.”

  “I’m sorry, honey,” she said, reaching over and patting my hand. “Are you okay?”

  “I am. I really am. I think it’s for the best.”

  “I agree,” she said firmly. “You always deserved better than him.”

  “What?” My mother always sang Perry’s praises. She pushed me toward marriage with him more times than I could count.

  “I’m sorry, honey, but you did,” she said. “He never treated you right. Always leaving town. Never going to your shows. He just wasn’t the right man for you, Dani.”

  “Why didn’t you ever say anything before?” I asked, also surprised and pleased that she remembered. “I always thought you liked him.”

  “You seemed happy. I didn’t want to ruin your happiness because of my own opinions. It’s obvious now that you weren’t happy though.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I can tell the difference. You’re so much happier now. I can see it in your face. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy before. Being single suits you.”

  She smiled at me brightly. I tried to smile back, but my mind was fixated on that word. Single. She thought I was happy to be on my own. In a way, I was single, but that wasn’t entirely true. Talen and I were technically married. No matter what our situation really was, we were legally a couple.

  My mom was so alert that day that I almost considered telling her the truth. She seemed like she would be able to handle it, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was already worried about her sleeping and eating habits. The last thing I needed to do was add any extra stress to her life. I knew she wouldn’t approve of my arrangement with Talen. She wouldn’t be able to understand my reasons for sticking around.

  Sometimes, I didn’t understand my reasons, either. Sure, the money would be life-changing. My mother needed it for her care, but it was more than that. Somewhere along the way, I stopped viewing Talen as a means to an end, and I started seeing him as a man. Maybe it was after we slept together. Or maybe it was when he surprised me with my art supplies. I didn’t know when exactly it happened, but it did. Talen was no longer in my life simply because of a drunken marriage deal. He wasn’t just my pretend husband. He was more than that.

  As I sat with my mother, I realized that she was right. I was happier than I’d ever been before. Everything seemed to be falling into place, and I was truly happy. Still, it wasn’t for the reasons she thought. My happiness wasn’t a product of my life as a single woman. No, my happiness came from one thing, and I was just now beginning to realize what that one thing was. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, not even to myself, I knew the truth. It was Talen.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Talen

  It was early when I pulled up outside of Dani’s apartment Saturday morning. She’d stayed the night at her place the night before after spending the day with her mother. I didn’t like her staying somewhere else. It wouldn’t have looked good for our “marriage” if someone knew she wasn’t living with me. More than that though, I missed her. My apartment felt empty without her. I could barely sleep the night before. Even with her in the guest room, her presence was still a constant comfort to me. I didn’t know how much I needed it until she was no longer there.

  When I knocked on her door, I didn’t hear any movement inside. I checked my watch and saw that it was still before seven. I didn’t expect Dani to be awake yet, but we had to leave soon if we were going to make it in time. I knocked again, this time louder. Still nothing. After the third knock, I finally heard muffled footsteps behind the door. Dani unlocked the door and then pulled it open slightly, peering outside with narrowed eyes. She was still wearing pajamas, and she looked exhausted.

  “Talen?” she said. “What are you doing here?”

  “Get dressed,” I said with a grin. “I have a surprise for you.”

  “A surprise?” she asked. “It’s like six o’clock in the morning. Couldn’t the surprise wait until after lunch or something?”

  “Nope,” I said, shaking my head. “Come on. Get dressed. I’ll wait.”

  I took a step forward, thinking she would let me inside, but she didn’t move. I was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. I couldn’t wait to show her the surprise, but she didn’t seem at all interested. In fact, she looked slightly angry.

  “I’m sorry I woke you up, but I promise, you’re going to love this.”

  Dani thought about it for a second. She watched me closely, considering her options. Then, she sighed and rolled her eyes.

  “Fine,” she said. “I’ll hurry.”

  “Great,” I said with a grin. I took another step forward, but she just shook her head and pushed the door further closed.

  “Wait here,” she said. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Dani,” I laughed. “I’m your husband. And besides, I already saw your apartment when I stole your keys, remember?”

  “Well, that wasn’t an approved visit,” she quipped and closed the door with a snap.

  I sighed and shook my head. No matter what I did, Dani always seemed to be a constant challenge. She kept me on my toes, which was just one thing I liked about her. There was never a point when I could just slip into my old ways around her. She always demanded more from me. Sometimes it was annoying, but most of the time, I appreciated it. She pushed me. Deep down, I knew I needed it.

  When she was final
ly ready, she came outside to join me. She looked slightly more awake but still tired. Her hair hung loose around her shoulders. When I saw her, I wanted to run my fingers through those long strands and hug her, but I resisted. Despite having sex, I still wasn’t certain where our limits were with each other.

  “You look nice,” I said with a smile.

  She yawned. “I look tired.”

  I shrugged and draped an arm over her shoulder, unable to stop myself. “Well, that’s my fault. After all, I’m the one who woke you before sunrise.”

  She poked me in the ribs. “The sun is up.”

  “I was being hyperbolic.”

  “Whatever,” she said. “I’m too exhausted to keep up with you this morning.”

  I laughed and led the way to my car. We climbed inside and drove through town in silence. Dani’s head was resting back on the seat as she stared out the window. I wanted to talk to her, but I didn’t know what to say. She looked so peaceful sitting beside me that I didn’t want to disturb her. Besides, I knew she would wake up soon. The second she saw what I had in store for her, she would be glad for a few hours of missed sleep.

  We pulled into a large parking lot and drove toward the back. The helicopter I’d ordered was already sitting there, waiting for us. Just as I suspected, Dani sat up the second she saw it. Her eyes were wide as she whipped her head over to look at me.

  “What are we doing?”

  “Well… you said you’ve never seen the Grand Canyon before.”

  Her jaw sagged. “No…”

  I grinned. “Yep. We’re going to fix that.”

  She squealed and grabbed my arm. “Are you serious?”

  My grin was about to break apart my face. “Completely.”

  I jumped out of the car, and Dani followed close behind me. She looked from me to the helicopter and then back again. I could tell she was still trying to wrap her head around everything.

  “This is insane,” she said. “We aren’t really going to—”

  “We are.” I grabbed her hand. “We absolutely are.”

  She was shaking her head, her palm sweaty against mine. “Why would you do something like this?”

  I looked at her, suddenly worried that I’d made a mistake. “You don’t like it?” I was sure she would love it, but the way she looked at me made me uncertain.

  “Like it?” she scoffed. “Are you kidding? This is amazing. It’s just… It’s just…”

  “Crazy?”

  Her hand squeezed mine harder as her grin competed with mine. “Insane!”

  “Let’s go.” I grinned and led her over to the helicopter, ducking low to avoid the blades.

  The pilot was already inside. He reached down to help Dani in, and I climbed in after her. We strapped ourselves in the back, and I helped her put the headset over her ears so we could communicate. I gestured for the pilot to go ahead. He gave us the thumbs-up sign, and the helicopter began to rise slowly into the air.

  As we left the city behind us, I was more interested in watching Dani instead of the view outside of the helicopter. Her eyes were wide and alive with excitement. I’d never seen her face light up that way before. I smiled while I watched her enjoy the views of Lake Mead, the Hoover Dam, and the O’Callaghan-Tillman Memorial Bridge.

  “There it is!” she breathed as the edge of the Grand Canyon came into view. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard. “This is incredible.”

  “I knew you’d like it.”

  I glanced at the canyon a few times, but I had trouble pulling my gaze away from the beautiful woman beside me. When she grabbed my hand, my entire body vibrated with energy. I felt happier than I had in years. I felt like she wanted me there beside her, like I was just as important as the experience itself.

  As the pilot circled the canyon a few times, Dani finally sat back and looked at me again. Her eyes were still wide, and her hand was still wrapped tightly around mine. She smiled brightly and shook her head slowly back and forth.

  “This is like a dream,” she said. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”

  I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed the soft skin. I didn’t know what to say. There were so many emotions coursing through my body that I felt completely overwhelmed. I was so happy that I could share this experience with Dani, but I was also terrified of what my feelings might mean. The longer she held my hand, the less I wanted her to let go. I never wanted to be away from her again.

  This revelation scared me more than anything ever had. I didn’t know how to handle the fact that I was falling for her. Our relationship was only supposed to be a business arrangement, nothing more. I was never supposed to develop real feelings for her, but I had. And I was scared to death of them.

  A few hours later, Dani and I found ourselves back in my car. We drove through town toward her apartment, neither of us saying much. Dani was still smiling about the helicopter ride and chatting about the colors and how she wanted to duplicate them on canvas. As I listened and said the right words at the right time, I thought my heart might beat out of my chest. Just being near her was enough to confuse and excite me. When I planned today’s trip, I wanted to give her something special, but I never imagined it would affect me so much.

  “Talen,” Dani said, pulling me out of my own head. “Thank you so much for doing that for me. I can’t even begin to tell you how much it means to me.”

  “It was nothing.” I shrugged. “I just wanted us to spend some time together, you know? So that we’re more convincing at the investors’ meeting.”

  As I spoke, Dani’s face fell. I didn’t know why my words upset her, but I knew they had. I immediately regretted them and wished I could take them back. The truth was, I only planned that ride because I wanted her to be happy. I missed her so much the night before, and I couldn’t think of any better way to show her than by helping make one of her dreams come true. That was all I wanted for her. From the look on her face, I just ruined the entire experience.

  We pulled into her apartment complex, and I tried desperately to think of a way to fix my mistake. I thought about telling her the truth, how much I really cared about her. Deep down, I wanted to, but I just couldn’t. Our arrangement would end in only a few weeks, and then she would be gone. How could I admit my feelings for her when we were going to go our separate ways soon?

  “Dani,” I said as she opened the car door. I moved to get out, but she stopped me with a look.

  “Don’t worry about it. I can walk myself to the door.”

  “Dani…” I still didn’t know what exactly I was going to say, but I knew I had to try. I couldn’t let her walk away yet. “Listen, I… when I said that before… I just…”

  “It’s fine, Talen,” she said. Her eyes were focused on mine, but she wasn’t really looking at me. She was closed off. There was no emotion in her eyes. “I know this is just a job. I get it.”

  Her words were like a slap across my face. She turned and climbed out of the car without another word. I watched as she walked up the sidewalk toward her door. I could barely see her, but I waited until I was sure she was inside before I let my emotions show. Closing my eyes, I leaned my head against my seat and sighed.

  I wondered if there was something broken inside me. Maybe something that had died and withered away when I was young. I could handle multimillion-dollar projects, understand complicated research… but I couldn’t speak to this one person. Couldn’t put my heart on the line.

  And I hated myself for it.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Dani

  “So, wait,” Madison said on the phone. “He took you on a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you don’t think that means something?” Madison asked for the hundredth time. We’d been on the phone for an hour. I told her all about the surprise and Talen’s harsh words afterward.

  “I told you,” I said with a sigh. “I really thought it did, you know? I was sure that he was starting to have feelings fo
r me, but then, he said it was all business. He just completely shut it down, and now, I don’t know what to think.”

  “I know he’s rich,” Madison said. “But no guy goes through that much trouble for a woman he doesn’t care about.”

  “I thought the same thing. I even held his hand on the ride. I feel like such an idiot now.”

  “You aren’t an idiot,” Madison said quickly. “Any woman would have thought that.”

  “It’s just so confusing,” I complained. “There are times when I swear he cares about me. I mean, we’ve had sex a few times already, and both times were amazing. When we’re together that way, I can feel him, you know? I can feel all of him, and I just know he wants to be with me.”

  “But…?” Madison asked.

  I pressed my fingers to my temples. “But… he’s always really good about making sure I know it’s just business. No matter how close we get, he always pulls back by bringing up work. This arrangement is just a job. I can’t let myself believe anything else. Not anymore.”

  “It’s almost over,” Madison said reassuringly. “Just a little while longer, and then, you’re free. You’ll get your money and your annulment. Then, you’ll never have to worry about Talen Gaston ever again.”

  “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”

  And she was. My deal with Talen would soon come to an end. When it did, my life would be better than ever. My mother’s care would finally be paid for. I would have more money than I knew what to do with, and we would no longer be in each other’s lives.

  The thought made my stomach clench horribly. Madison was only trying to make me feel better, but the more I thought about never seeing Talen again, the more my heart ached. I couldn’t stand the thought of saying goodbye to him forever. I didn’t want to admit it, not to Madison or even to myself, but I had fallen hard for Talen Gaston.

  When he surprised me with my art supplies, everything changed. I saw a side of him that I’d never seen before, and it opened my eyes to a whole new set of possibilities. I realized that Talen’s tendency to be a dick was just a by-product of his father’s abuse. Deep down, he was a kind and caring man who loved his mother and was sensitive to the people around him. He cared, even when he didn’t want to.